"I know I shouldn't be doing this. It will be torture for all of us. But I have nowhere else to go. Everyone else I know in the medical field I either haven't seen since med school, or are in their retirement years, hanging out with my parents in the hot Florida sun." I takes me a second to realize the long sigh I just heard did not come from the phone I have cradled between shoulder and ear. Stuffing wrinkled scrubs and the few onesies I could scrounge into my carry-on I try again. "Teddy, look... I know what I am asking, but you also know the reason why I came all the way to Africa. To help those who can't get help. To save those who otherwise wouldn't have a chance. This one of those cases, I have the paper work all set. The-" another sigh, "the adoption has been put on fast forward because of the medical situation Nevaeh is in. Please Teddy…"
Finally Teddy broke her silence. "Arizona, a lot has happened in the time you have been gone. I can give you referrals, even call in some favors with some old army buddies, so you don't have to come all the way from Africa. Instead the surgery and recovery could be done in Germany."
She is avoiding tell me way I really shouldn't come home. It had been four months, and since day one I had been fighting the urge to get back on a plane to Seattle. But this, Nevaeh, all of the kids here, this is why I stayed. Isn't the future of so many lives more important than my own happiness?
My voice is small, "Is she-" my voice break. "Is she okay. Are you okay?"
The laugh that reaches me from so many thousands of miles away causes me to pause my frenzied packing. "You are still in your pink bubble, thinking that you can come back and she will greet you with open arms. That might have had the chance to happen… like three and a half months ago Arizona. But I think the worse thing right now is for you to come back into her life. Especially considering why you are coming back. She needs stability, and for four months you have been gone, don't go shaking her reality up again. I really don't think she can handle much more."
"Teddy, I came here, thinking that I was doing what was best. And I know that I was right, because if I had turned this down I would not be a mom right now. But I won't be a mom for very much longer if this surgery doesn't happen. I don't trust my daughter with anyone else, you, Christina and Alex. Even Mark might have to be pulled on this one to lessen her chances of scarring. She is stable for transport. But only barely. The whole reason I can take her is because I am a doctor. Teddy she came into the world, and I was there. I was the first person to hold her. Her birth mother wanted nothing to do with her, because of… but she is gorgeous Teddy. But all I could think of was how I wished that Callie was there with me, that this was our baby. If she doesn't want me back…" my rant is cut short by the lump suddenly caught in my throat. "I need to focuses on what is important, and getting Nevaeh healthy is what is important." I finally finish. "I can't go through losing another child Teddy. I just can't."
I am sobbing now, thinking that I was at a dead end. I would be a mess if I flew up to Germany. I needed some support around me while Nevaeh went under the knife. I need my Seattle Grace Mercy West family. I need Calliope.
"I'll see if I can't snag a quick meeting with Shepperd and the Chief."
The resignation in her voice still had be wondering what else could be going on.
"Teddy, I know I am asking a lot. But I will stay out of your hair after this."
"Arizona! That is not it… It's just." She stops mid-sentence. "You will see what I mean when you get here. I am excited that you are coming back. Besides I get to be a surrogate Aunt now!" The first hint of excitement reaches her voice since she first picked up almost an hour ago. An hour of explaining to her what had happen, what title I know held. A title that changes every perspective I had on life. I was now a mom.
"I am trying to get on the next flight out to anywhere, hopefully to England. Where I can stop into a hospital and get a quick check up done on her… if that is aloud. I will call you when I land, but I'll just cabbie it to the hospital."
"You can crash with me A, while you're here."
"Thanks. I need to work out a more permanent residence once I'm back, but that will be a great help Teddy. Thank you."
"Oh I should warn you though, there will be a man sleeping on my couch while you are here."
"What, why not just in your bed?"
"Arizona! I am not…. we are not. I mean to say, it's not like that." The sigh was one of a woman getting ready to shake off the weight of the world. "Arizona, I got married…"