I felt it was a shame that there was so little fiction on Lucifer/Michael despite the obvious niftiness there. I haven't seen S6 yet, just know a bit of this and that, so I'm probably taking a little poetic license as far as Lucy/Mick retaining their vessel-forms and such. I'm also taking license as far as having Adam taken out to who-knows-where. And I'm indulging in the idea that they can have mostly human forms based on their Grace while on Earth, although if a human looked at them they'd just see the Grace and get fried. Also, the story was originally going to be pure Hell, mostly them fighting and working out their issues but it's turned into sort of a back-story tale as well, showing how they got to this point and such. XD Enjoy! XD
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Hell, had it a taste, would not taste of brimstone and blood as so often poeticised. It did not reek of sulfur to it's core, and the scent of burning flesh. Deeper levels, perhaps, but this was the Hell Cage. A separate despair from the conjoined miseries of the Hell around it. There, Hell tasted bitter, it was the utter repression of the soul and the self, a cage of the senses and torture in the most crucial way. It was a denial of existence. They were left to rot in a cage while the world passed on, unmoved by their plight, by their screams, by the fierce desire for freedom that they carried. They were abandoned, denied the light and ensnared in Hellacious darkness. It was torture.
A shared misery, in fact.
As for what time had passed above, it was hard to say. Time passed differently between realms, between Heaven, and Hell, and that god-forsaken Earth. But it had been years that Lucifer, Michael, Sam, and Adam had been trapped in their little slice of eternal damnation.
For the first few years, it was literally a constant battle between Lucifer and Michael. Blame, rage, angst, and a mutual derision for the situation that was eventually taken out on the Winchester brothers before that too faded. And then Sam had escaped, and Adam shortly thereafter. The brothers, the 'devil' himself and God's greatest warrior remained. And for another few years, they sat in silence.
Only maddening, deafening silence.
And then it came, one day, whispers on the flaming winds of Hell that even their imprisonment did not keep them from. Purgatory was opened, Raphael destroyed, and Castiel-the self proclaimed new 'god'.
"So." Eight years of silence were broken with that one word as Lucifer, still in Sam's form, stretched a leg out with his back against the wall of their prison. "Castiel is king. It's ironic, isn't it?"
Michael, still in Adam's form, did not reply and merely kept his gaze pointedly away and blank.
That was how it had been, even when they'd fought, even when they'd turned against the Winchesters trapped with them, Michael had an air of superiority. A holier-than-thou attitude that hurt Lucifer even as it enraged him. They were brothers, had been the closest of them all. Lucifer had looked up to his big brother, idolized him, and once considered himself cherished of Michael until he'd thrown it all away.
"Michael."
Lucifer received no reply, nor was he even spared a glance. "Michael." he tried again and finally, "Brother, say something." he almost pleaded. But Michael continued to ignore him, to deny him. Even after everything, even after experiencing the torture that he'd left Lucifer to suffer for centuries for their Father, even now trapped beside him, he still denied his own brother.
And he'd had enough.
WIth unnatural speed, Lucifer found himself beside Michael and he grabbed the other by the collar of his shirt and hauled him up where he sneered down at him. "You're an ass, you know that? You're fallen, just like me."
Michael didn't respond at first, was limp in Lucifer's grasp until those last words when he turned and gazed coldly up at Lucifer. "I am a good son, I am nothing like you." he slammed his fist into Lucifer's face and managed to get himself released. He took a step back and watched Lucifer coldly. "I may be trapped beside you, but the only fallen creature here is you." he said, and the pain in Lucifer's heart reached new heights.
"We're brothers!" Lucifer shouted, anguish threatening to tear him apart from the inside out as he addressed his brother. "Doesn't that mean anything to you? You loved me once!"
Michael's expression didn't change, he gazed at Lucifer with a mixture of contempt and disdain. "You are nothing to me." he said coldly.
Lucifer stilled and stared at the boy ahead of him, at the stranger that was his brother. It was simply the form that Michael was stuck with now, Adam had gone, but the fact remained that it's limitations still held. Lucifer had gotten his destined vessel, but Michael had been existing in a borrowed form-one that he knew while better than his own previous borrowed form-was still nothing like what Dean's would have been. The balance of power had shifted in that regard, and he was damn well going to act on it.
"Fine." Lucifer ground out. "Then nor are you to me." Once again, with unnatural speed, he tackled Michael and pinned him to the ground where he slammed his fist into Michael's face. Again, and again, and again...until a blast of holy light sent Lucifer across the room and he slammed into a wall of their prison where he collapsed in a heap.
Michael rose, his lip bleeding faintly as he stared at Lucifer in disgust. "Like I care what you think."
That was all the fuel Lucifer needed to rise and come at his brother again as he slammed his back into a wall and pinned his brother's neck against it by shoving his arm against Michael's throat. "You...selfish...son of a bitch!" he let himself use the coarse, mortal language. Why the Hell not? "I looked up to you! I worshipped you! I would have done anything for you!"
"Your point?"
Lucifer looked at Michael in disbelief. How could he say that, after everything?
Lucifer knelt down by a bed of roses, his form that of a child as he carelessly began plucking petals and flowers, intrigued and curious by the little creations.
"Brother, stop." a strong hand caught his small wrist as a teenaged Michael lifted Lucifer's hand before he knelt beside him. "What are you doing?"
Lucifer looked surprised to have been stopped and tilted his head. "Playing with Father's flowers. They're fragile."
"Yes, they are." Michael agreed. "But you musn't hurt them. They are fragile, and decliate, but still our Father's creations. They deserve to exist too, do they not?"
Lucifer seemed confused. "But...they're only flowers."
"Everything has a purpose." Michael explained patiently. "It isn't for us to change that, or to decide something else. We're angels, Luc. We have a different responsibility."
"What do you mean?"
Michael paused before he smiled indulgently as he sat down and patted his lap. Lucifer eagerly clambered onto it and snuggled his back up against his brother as Michael's warm, strong arms came around him. He loved when Michael paid attention to him like this, he liked to feel special, and he knew that Michael loved him best because he loved Michael best too.
"We're angels. We protect what our Father creates. We are his soldiers, and his hands, his tools to make this world whole. We act on his will." Lucifer's face scrunched up in light confusion and he chuckled. "Listen to your heart, Luc. What does it tell you about these flowers?"
Lucifer's brow furrowed before he closed his eyes and bit his lower lip in concentration, much to Michael's patient amusement as his younger brother tried to feel it. Finally, his eyes opened and after a moment, he spoke softly. "My heart is...sad. Because I hurt them. Even though they're weak, Father made them...they have life too...purpose?" The last bit was almost a question and Michael ruffled Lucifer's hair affectionately.
"You're right, little brother. See? Your heart will guide you even when your mind is clouded."
"But what if I can't always hear my heart? What if I forget?" Lucifer looked troubled.
Michael considered that a moment before he hugged Lucifer close and pressed a soft kiss to his head, and then rested his cheek against Lucifer's. "Then I will remind you, brother. I will guide you even when your heart does not."
Lucifer smiled at that and held his small arms over Michael's tightly. He knew that his brother loved him most, he knew it, and he loved Michael most. Not above their Father, of course, but it was very close. "Because I am your favorite brother, right?"
Michael's lips twitched in amusement. "I have many brothers."
"But I am your favorite." Lucifer pressed with a childishly smug confidence.
Michael couldn't help the smile the curved his lips. "Perhaps you are right...am I yours then?"
Lucifer beamed. "Of course you are, big brother...and I'll take care of you too, we'll guide each other." he was pleased when Michael smiled, and spent the rest of the day by his side.
"And they call me the king of liars..." Lucifer said coldly, angrier than he'd been in years. His fist slammed into Michael's face, a replica of Adam, and he watched with satisfaction as the other's nose fixed at a crooked angle and a trickle of blood came from there as well. It was utterly human; vulgar, crude, and beneath an angel...but if he was going to be Fallen anyway, may as well enjoy it.
Michael's expression remained emotionless but for the chill and the repressed fury in his eyes, his most expressive feature. "Because that is what you are. And the king of fools besides." he said before he blasted Lucifer again.
He was ready this time, however, and managed a hasty land on his feet. "Fight me, then! Quit hiding behind powers we both know that you can't keep up. Your vessel is incomplete."
Michael couldn't deny that. True, they weren't technically in vessels any longer, but the journey into Hell's Cage had merged them somewhat. So now, even though they had been ejected from their vessels, they were in Hell's Cage and their powers were dampened, their forms somewhat stuck with the essence of the vessels they had inhabited.
"I won't fight you like a beast, however much you wish it."
Lucifer could scarcely contain his pain and rage. This was not Michael; this was not his brother. Michael had been a warrior, but kind and patient besides, a teacher, and most of all a brother. But this Michael was, as that insufferable eldest Winchester would put it, a dick-with-wings. "So now I'm just a filthy animal, is that it?"
"You've been caged like one long enough." Michael shrugged.
"In case it escaped your notice, jack ass, so have you." Lucifer had spent more time amongst the humans and time spent in Sam's mind had influenced him a bit. He didn't need to restrain himself or constrain the urges within him. And yes, it had certainly influenced his choice of words.
For the first time, a flicker of irritation crossed Michael's expression. "And whose fault is that?" he snapped back. This was more like how things had been after just arriving, bitter back-and-forth blaming and quarreling.
"You could have stopped. You had every chance."
"There was no stopping it! It was destiny! I am not the failure that you are. I do as I am told."
"Like a good doggie, eh, brother?" Lucifer mocked and he was pleased to see Michael's more youthful face become amusingly flustered with his increased rage.
Michael came at him this time and hit him in the stomach hard enough to send him stumbling back, doubled-over. Before he could react, Michael's foot connected with his face and sent him down. "You have never beaten me, and will never beat me. Remember that." Michael said, his tone arrogant.
The clang of swords ceased as a nearly teenaged Lucifer found himself on the ground with a sword-tip pointed at his neck, held by his older brother, a young man in form, Michael.
Michael grinned faintly down at Lucifer before he sheathed his sword and offered his brother a hand up. "Good work, Luc. You're doing much better."
"Yeah." Piped in a chipper voice, Gabriel, who appeared around twelve and levitated nearby with amusement dancing in his expression. "He managed not to get knocked down for a whole three minutes this time." Gabriel mock-praised.
"Be silent, whelp." Lucifer growled, a mixture of irritation and affection. Gabriel was strange amongst the angels, generally perceived to be very calm and silently wise, only those like Lucifer knew that he was unusually...quirky for an angel, and talkative to an obnoxious degree. But he was also earnest and sincere, and adored Lucifer and Michael, as well as a few other of his littler brothers.
Michael chuckled as he pulled Lucifer up. "Ignoring him...you did very well."
Lucifer allowed himself to grin even as he beamed at the praise despite himself. His older brother's approval meant everything. "Thank you, brother...it's all thanks to you. And someday soon, perhaps, I shall knock you down."
Michael chuckled even as Gabriel snorted and hopped down to pat Lucifer's back. "If by soon, you mean 'never'-" Gabriel didn't get to finish as a reluctantly amused Lucifer clapped a hand over his mouth and pulled his little brother against him in a silencing hug despite the other's playful squirming.
"I count on it, brother." Michael finally replied with a smile before he lifted his sword. "Shall we go again?"
"Again?" Lucifer tried not to wince.
Michael grinned. "Yes, again. I want my little brother strong."
So did Lucifer, incididentally. But for reasons that differed from Michael's, he supposed. Lucifer was a pet angel, in his opinion, the Bearer of the Light, favored like a cherished hound. Michael was revered, the Sword of Heaven, the Warrior of Light. He didn't envy his big brother, for Michael was deserving of every accolade, but he wanted to stand beside the other as an equal, to take some of the burden of the family from his elder brother's shoulders.
So he playfully shoved Gabriel aside and lifted his sword, and charged his brother again.
Lucifer stared up at Michael from the ground before his jaw clenched and he got back onto his feet with a shake of his head. "Michael...sometimes, you're a real idiot. You know that?" he asked softly before he moved quickly behind the other and aimed a blow for his head, but Michael was ready this time and gave a swooping kick that sent Lucifer on his back again.
Michael had been caught off guard a couple of times, out of surprise and the fact that he'd been imprisoned for decades without having to lift a finger. But his 'little brother' still had much to learn. He hauled the other up by his shirt and sent a bone-shattering punch to the other's face and a nasty welt split the other's cheek a bit. "You're predictable, you know that?" Michael mocked, but he didn't use his name. Michael hadn't called him by his name, let alone an endearment, in countless centuries. Just another way of demeaning him, apparently. Of betraying him, just like then...
Michael and Lucifer stood side-by-side, overlooking their Father's latest creations, the humans. He instructed angels to be their guardians and guides, to bow before them and love them as they loved no other.
Lucifer was disgusted.
"Father wishes us to bow before those filthy creatures? Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?"
"Watch your tone." Michael chided as he tweaked Lucifer's ear and he pulled away irritably.
"I will not!" Lucifer snapped, and he regretted it as Michael's eyes narrowed but continued. "To love them before our own Father? To bow down to creatures so inferior? Next, we will bow before insects, I suppose, and weeds? Useless little-"
"These are our Father's creations you speak of, you will cease, Lucifer!" Michael's tone was thunderous, and the anger in his expression caused Lucifer to draw back slightly.
"Brother..." Lucifer softened his tone. "You could speak with Father, he'd listen to you...this is madness, you know that."
"It is our Father's command."
"But-"
"But, what? You wish to disobey?" Michael stared at Lucifer as though he'd sprouted horns.
"No! Of course not! It's only...how...how can I give love to those...things?" Lucifer asked as he looked to the humans with disdain.
"Because our Father commands it."
"Maybe I need more than orders from an absent father, brother. We can't all be as perfect as you." Lucifer spat, and he regretted the words the moment they passed his lips.
Michael's lips tightened and he stared down at Lucifer before he turned away. "Never speak of this to me again."
"Brother, please, wait-" but Michael had already gone, and a few weeks later, he had not seen his brother again when the angels came for him to tell him that he would be punished for his sin, for his disobedience.
Lucifer made a sound of pain. Their human semi-vessels could feel this physical pain, although it wasn't as excruciating. He quickly sent his fist into Michael's stomach, or tried, but Michael hurled him aside by the collar of his shirt. "You have never beaten me, and never will. Least of all now that you've become this pathetic mess. Get back into your corner." he said with a dismissive glance before he turned away to head back to his own.
Lucifer saw his brother walking away and panic rose within him alongside his rage. "Don't turn your back on me, brother!" he snarled before he grabbed the cage behind him and it crackled with energy. Michael heard that and turned in surprise to see that Lucifer had formed some sort of energy bolt drawn from the Cage, and he hurled it at Michael who was slammed violently back and slumped to the floor. Lucifer had had a hundred lifetimes more time, alone, to learn about the little tricks he could accomplish. In here, with these vessels, Lucifer had the upper hand whether Michael knew it or not.
Michael rose slowly and his body trembled slightly, made shaky from the blow. He staggered to his feet and stared at Lucifer. "How did you accomplish that?" he demanded. Lucifer shouldn't have access to such power in his prison.
"Yeah. Like I'm telling you that." Lucifer said before he gathered energy and hurled another bolt at Michael who was brought down again despite his attempt to deflect it.
Michael lay on the ground and struggled to sit up, but Lucifer was before him suddenly and straddled his waist before he gripped Michael's neck and slammed his head against the ground. Michael stared up at him in surprise and anger. "How does it feel, oh great warrior of Heaven? To be beneath the devil?" Lucifer taunted as he brought his face perilously close to Michael's to peer gloatingly down at him. "You may be the big shot up top, but down here, even in this damned cage...I rule, brother."
"A king upon a jester's throne." Michael mocked in reply.
Still, still Michael chose to mock him. Lucifer's nails dug into Michael's neck and his boyish form winced as he grabbed at Lucifer's hand and tried to pull him away. But Lucifer took his free hand and siphoned more power from the nearly inexhaustible supply of the cage and sent a nice shock through Michael, who slumped a bit as he stared up at Lucifer, growing weaker. The Cage was supposed to dampen their powers, to hold them, so he was not only hurting Michael, but lessening him as well. "Tell me why."
"Why...what?" Michael ground out.
"Tell me why you abandoned me, why you told on me. You know I was not wrong! Did you ever...didn't you ever even try to help me? Did you never care? "
"No." Michael replied quickly, firm and without hesitation.
Pain flickered across Lucifer's expression before he lifted Michael's head to slam it down again, and then he sent a crushing punch to the other's face. Michael gagged a bit and his lip bled anew as he bit into the wound of before. "You're lying! You have to be lying!" Michael didn't respond, merely gazed up at him with those cool eyes and Lucifer found himself growing agitated. "I am your brother!"
"Gabriel was your brother as well, and you killed him easily enough. Our baby brother."
Lucifer's expression showed remorse. "That was...different. I had no choice...he-"
"-Fought against you, so you killed him like a spoiled child. Murdered your own little brother. Do not call me a liar. You should know well that responsibilities outweigh so-called family."
Lucifer clenched his jaw before he dug his nails in hard enough to draw blood. "You never fought for me..."
"No." Michael replied, and he gazed evenly at Lucifer...but Lucifer knew better. Michael was hiding something...so he'd find out what.
Lucifer gave Michael one last Hell-shock, one that caused the other's eyes to roll back in his head and he used the moment of vulnerability to invade the other's mind as was forbidden amongst angels and search out what he wanted,to search for proof either way.
He found it.
Lightning crackled above and the earth quaked, causing crashes of waves on the shore. A form materialized, Michael, and to say that he looked furious would be to understate things. "Rafael!" the name was little more than a snarl as he looked to his brother. Michael stormed up to the other who seemed to be lecturing Gabriel about something, not unusual.
"Ah, brother." Rafael turned with a cool smile. They were on Earth, and wearing corporeal vessels formed of Grace, such as would burn any human to look upon.
"Save the pleasantries. Where is he?"
"Who?" Rafael's tone indicated ignorance.
"Our brother." Michael snarled, and another bolt of lightning crackled overhead, a storm that indicated Michael's fury, just a glimpse of it.
"Why, right behind me." he motioned to Gabriel who looked upset and tense as he stepped away form the pair.
"Gabriel-"
"-I don't know, Mic, that's what I was trying to find out too."
Michael noticed a mar on Gabriel's grace that suggested that Rafael had caused him physical harm and his temper flared protectively for his baby brother, and for the fact that Rafael was withholding information about the other.
Michael strode forward and shot a beam of energy at Raphael that slammed him back into a tree and pinned him. "Where is Lucifer?"
"You dare use powers against me?" Rafael glared at Michael in baleful anger.
"Where?"
"You know the answer." Rafael spat. "He is in the void, the lesser world." Humans would refer to it as 'Hell' and most angels had followed. Rafael saw no reason to pay credence to that, however.
"No!"
"Yes!" Rafael mocked. "He has turned against our father. His wickedness was plain, he and those who followed him have fallen."
"He has not betrayed us!" Michael snapped. "He loves our father, more than most!"
"You speak of nonsense. We are not capable of surpassing love. Our Father is our love, and his whims our dictates. He disagreed, as you know."
Michael stared hard at Rafel before something occurred to him. "You were listening..."
"Yes, the day that Lucifer admitted his wickedness, I thankfully overheard and was able to intervene." Rafael said, rather smugly.
"You..." Michael looked tempted to wring Rafael's neck and as it was, he clenched a fist to tighten the bands of his ethereal chains around Rafael painfully, but the angel only winced. "He was confused! He is not wicked, he is not evil! He does not deserve this!"
"Brother..." Rafael's tone was mixed with anger and a mocking pity. "It had to happen this way...our Father, he needed an opposition. Someone to balance him out. Who better than Lucifer, our favored brother? His wickedness is a boon."
Michael stared at Rafael in disbelief. "Have you gone mad? He is our brother."
"No. He is a fallen, a filthy, undeserving creature. He will serve as balance and be punished all in the same breath. And you cannot 'save' him from that, the balance must be maintained."
Michael said nothing for a long moment and Gabriel watched the pair with a tense, anxious expression before Michael said lowly. "Then let it be me." he said as he released Rafael.
"Excuse me?"
"I will take his place. I will serve as the balance."
This time, it was Rafael's turn to be disbelieving. "You would spent eternity imprisoned in Hell, to spare that traitor?"
"I would spend a thousand eternities in Hell to spare my brother, yes." Michael said coolly.
Rafael stared as though Michael were deranged before he shook his head. "You are Heaven's greatest warrior. That will not do, and it is not fated that way. You know what is destined. You and Lucifer will clash at the time of the great apocalypse, and he will die."
"I will not fight my brother!"
"Even if you did not, someone else would. If Lucifer wins, all is destroyed and he will succumb to a madness and darkness worse than any death. And if his opponent succeeds, then he will die alone, an unloved bastard. You cannot save him from Hell, or spare him his fate, the greatest comfort that you can offer is to give him a peaceful passing on that day."
"I will pull him from Hell myself, and I will kill any 'brother' of mine who tries to stop me." Michael said chillingly.
Rafael tsked. "I was afraid you would say that. You are so confused, but you are also irreplaceable. I think it best that you rest for awhile, when you awake, you might find things clearer..."
"Michael! Look out!"
A small squadron of angels appeared behind Michael who whirled around in surprise. But he was unarmed and unprepared and despite his efforts and those of Gabriel, he found himself captured and enshrouded in darkness...
...
Michael awoke to the light for the first time in a millenia, and he stared at those before him. For a thousand years, he'd been imprisoned in Heaven, trapped in his mind and unable to fulfill his duties.
Rafael smiled without warmth and offered him a hand that he did not accept. He merely strode past Raphael and the other angels coldly and it wasn't for three months in humanspan that he finally approached Rafael.
"Where is Gabriel?"
"Well, 'hello' to you too, brother."
Michael stared coldly at Rafael, and there was no trace of warmth in his emotionless expression.
Rafael stared at him for a long moment before he murmured. "Has a mere millenia changed you so much? You feel nothing like yourself."
"Gabriel." Michael said the name almost warningly.
Rafael frowned and then shrugged. "He attempted to free you, he went against Father's wishes-"
"-Your wishes." Michael corrected.
Rafael ignored him and continued. "-and was placed under surveillance. He then tried to aid the fallen," meaning Lucifer, "and in the resulting fray, we believe that his life was extinguished. There is no sign of him or his Grace to be found, he was gravely injured and fell somewhere on Earth." The lack of his Grace meant that he was surely dead.
So his younger brother was the Lord of Hell, his baby brother murdered in an attempt to rescue him, and he had been imprisoned for a millenia for trying to stop it.
"Do you intend to try to 'rescue' him again?" Rafael asked, and MIchael understood the threat that lay there.
"I am a loyal son, and will follow my Father's will in all things." was Michael's curt reply.
"Good. Then welcome back, brother."
Michael didn't reply, but the curl of disdain on his lip spoke volumes. It was a silent message. You are no brother of mine. And the two parted.
Lucifer was stunned as the memory ended. He couldn't conceive that what he had seen was reality, and yet, there was no denying it either. Michael had not only not been the one to betray him, but he had tried to save him, offered himself up, and Gabriel had-well, clearly he hadn't died-but his disappearing act had apparently been instigated by an attempt to save him. Gabriel had been forced to take a meager form and hide out on Earth, to be apart from comfort or family, for him, and what had he done?
He'd murdered his own little brother.
Guilt assailed him as it had not touched him in countless centuries and he gazed down at the unfamiliar and yet comforting form before him. It was Adam's face, but Michael's eyes that peered silently up at him. Rather than baleful, they simply looked weary, relieved of the burden of the secret he had carried for so long.
Lucifer's grip on Michael's neck relaxed somewhat but he stayed on top of him as he lifted his free hand to brush his fingertips gently against the other's faintly blood-stained cheek. "Why, Michael? Why did you let me think...?"
Michael was silent. For a long, painful moment, he said nothing and Lucifer feared that he wouldn't utter a word. But finally Michael coughed and muttered. "Let me up."
Lucifer blinked and after a moment's hesitation, he sat up and pulled Michael into a sitting position beside him. He was knelt beside the other and watched him carefully, searching his expression for any sign, any clue as to his thoughts.
Michael stared down at the ground a moment, he flexed his hands and stared at them as well as though only now seeing them and displeased to find them there. And then his gaze tilted to Lucifer and the brothers shared a silent moment. And finally, he spoke.
"I knew from the moment that they took you, that I couldn't save you. Not even I could fight all of Heaven, and even if I did, where would I take you? We'd be cast from Heaven, surely, and left on Earth, powerless...they would find us and end us, if they did no worse first."
Michael coughed up a bit of blood, strange as that was, and winced in pain, still drained from Lucifer's little cage-tricks. And when he tilted somewhat, Lucifer tentatively edged closer and rested his arm over Michael's shoulders to keep him up. Michael seemed a bit uncomfortable, but he didn't shrug him off and continued. "But I was determined to try. I was foolish. I let my emotions rule me and defied the rest of the Host, and got myself locked up for far too long. And because of that, Gabriel spent the rest of his life trapped here on Earth, hiding out before he died at your hands." he said bluntly. It wasn't in Michael's nature to do otherwise, he was still an angel, after all. Despite certain...changes that he had gone through.
Lucifer winced, but he understood that his brother wasn't being intentionally hurtful. And moreover, he was too focused and rapt on his brother's words to pay that much mind. Oh, he would grieve for his little brother anew, in time. For now, it was Michael who captivated him wholly.
"I was for the most part...in a dreamless state, suspended in a slip of a realm somewhere...but I was lucid sometimes, only vaguely, and powerless. I had time to think in my thousand years, to plan, and to ponder...I had nothing else...and I came to realize my mistakes. And what I had to do."
"You mean killing me?" Lucifer asked, a bit bitterly despite himself.
"Yes." Michael said without hesitation and he met his little brother's gaze evenly. "As I said, I realized that I could not have saved you. There was no realm I could have taken you, no life that I could have given you, no hiding place that you would not have been found and tortured, or killed. Probably both." he admitted. "In the end, I saw that Rafael was right, somewhat. Even though you didn't deserve it, even though I would have given my own wings to spare you from it," there was a faint catch in Michael's voice that made Lucifer's heart ache, "you would have suffered regardless. You would have either been trapped here for a true eternity, or you would have become a ruler on Earth. You would have become evil. In a way, you have." Lucifer's expression displayed pain and objection at that, and he continued. "It is not your fault. Left alone in the darkness, hated and betrayed by the only family you have ever known, what was left to you but rage and madness? In truth, I know what you truly wanted."
"Oh?" Lucifer's tone was almost sullen.
Michael's expression was almost familiar, a ghost of it's former patient indulgence all those centuries ago. "You wanted to be seen. To be respected and to show them all wrong. To be better than what they cast you to be. You wanted your home back." he wasn't just talking about Heaven when he said 'home', that was a package deal. "You just wanted to belong again, to be wanted again."
"Then why stop me? Why not rule with me?" Lucifer demanded.
"As I said. You have already become at least partially corrupted, if you remained there, it would have continued. You would have twisted yourself and lost every aspect of you that was left of Lucifer the Angel."
"You're wrong." Lucifer said, but truly, he knew that Michael had a point.
Michael shook his head and coughed again, and Lucifer's arm around him tightened a bit on a protective and concerned instinct that he hadn't realized that he still possessed. It was strange, to see his powerful, revered older brother in a smaller, weaker form. One that looked all the more fragile at the moment. "You would have been trapped, or lost yourself completely. Perhaps someone else might have come along who could stop you, but I doubt it...Samuel Winchester's shining moment was...incomprehensible as it was, let alone for an outsider to have managed it. And it ruined everything."
"Because I'm still alive?"
"Because we're both still alive."
Lucifer's eyes widened and he stared at Michael, stunned by the implications of those words. "Michael..." his voice sounded weak even to his own ears. "What are you saying?"
Michael finally broke his gaze from Lucifer to sigh heavily and when he looked back up, he seemed tired, broken somehow. But strangely, more like Michael than he'd seemed in ages. "The only way I could save you was to end you. I could keep my brother alive by ending him before he ended himself." Lucifer swallowed hard as Michael finally called them 'brothers' again. "I could save you from an eternity of torture, and from you destroying yourself completely. That was to be my duty, not because it was Father's will, but because...I am your brother...and because...you are my favorite." there was a faint irony to his tone and he chuckled weakly.
Lucifer inhaled sharply at those words and he was astonished at the prick of moisture in his eyes. Inhabiting Samuel Winchester had clearly given him...less than angelic tendencies. But was more astonished him was that he could swear he saw a similar wetness in his brother's eyes.
"Then.." his voice was almost a whisper as he asked the rest. "You said both of us.."
Michael's lips quirked sardonically. "I could tell you none of this, because I knew what I had to do. And I could let no one else know. I needed you willing to fight me, fully, even if it meant that you believed me the villain. I had to feign indifference to you, hatred even...I let my anger at myself for my failures, and for the failures of our family, for this shallow existence to guide that. It wasn't hard being cold when I lost all that I found mattered after all." he trailed off for a moment, and seemed distracted by something. He had almost been rambling until he tilted his head at Lucifer and said plainly. "I had decided, since the moment I knew what had to be done. I would save you, by ending you, and then end myself. I would go with you into oblivion."
Lucifer could feel honest tears down his cheeks, the first he'd ever shed, and they were oddly comforting. Perhaps that was why humans cried, in fact, perhaps it was one of the few advantages to being human. To cry. To feel.
"That had been my plan...but...the Winchester brothers are, too similar to us, I think." Michael gave another weak chuckle and pitched sideways suddenly, and Lucifer caught him instantly.
Lucifer pulled the smaller body close and onto his lap as he sat with his back against the Cage wall. He cradled Michael and held him tightly as he stared down at him, unable to stop his damnably mortal emotional expression. "You did all of that for me...you aren't supposed to love any being more than our Father."
"Except the humans." Michael reminded him, again with irony. Michael hadn't struggled at all as Lucifer took control and did as he wished with Michael's currently weaker body. It was a reversal of roles, but he found that he didn't mind. For centuries, for ages, he had been so alone...so stiff and cold...locked in a darkness and an enraged madness that threatened to tear him apart inside. But here, in his little brother's arms, he found the warmth and sanctity he'd craved and missed, he found purity and light in the abyss of Hell, in Lucifer.
"I suppose I'm wicked too then. Because in all truth, I have loved you more than any being in creation since the moment I first laid eyes on you. Since I held your small Grace in my own. Perhaps that is why we were given this destiny, as punishment. Even so...I would not alter my actions. I would not trade this love for any freedom." Michael admitted and he smiled tiredly up at Lucifer before he frowned suddenly and lifted a shaky hand to his cheeks. "I've noticed you crying for some time. It seems that I am now doing the same. These humans have tainted us irreparably, I fear."
Lucifer let out a half-sob, half-chuckle. It was so...Michael. Lucifer pulled the smaller body close and buried his face in the other's shoulder as he cried suddenly. His body wracked and moaned as he cried, and Michael tilted his eyes skyward before he slid his arms around Lucifer and silently, softly, cried too. It was a near-eternity's worth of pain, love, and hope that rushed out of their humanized beings, the breaking of the proverbial dam that had held their torment and yearning, their quiet, unspoken dreams back for so long. It was their brotherhood.
It could have been another eternity, or a brief moment, time was all more relative in such a state but finally the brothers broke apart and Lucifer stared down at Michael.
Michael smiled, his indulgent, patient smile tinged with the edge of his less-innocent years as he lifted his hand to gently brush the tears from his brother's borrowed face. "I have been uncharacteristically open, and annoyingly human in my speech. Will you say nothing in return?"
"I've missed you." came out in a hoarse rush and Lucifer wasn't sure whether or not to be amused or despair as more tears threatened to fall. It wasn't weakness, it was just the only way his emotions could seem to release, it was the only small comfort he could afford himself to try to ease the burden of all that he had built up inside of him for so long and Michael seemed to understand that as he lifted to kiss one of his tears away.
"I've missed you too, Luc." Lucifer felt his heart swell at the endearment and Michael seemed both quietly touched and faintly amused by Lucifer's previous words.. "Is that all you'll say?"
Lucifer exhaled in a sort of scoff, sort of laugh. "You seek reassurance of my love?"
Michael pulled back and settled in his brother's arms with a deliberately nonchalant expression. "It would be nice." and it was his turn to sound almost sullen.
The whole situation was beyind comprehension, some might call it insane. After everything, the brothers were brothers again? The truth had come to light in the darkness of Hell? Was such a thing even possible? Could something so broken be so easily repaired?
But as he looked deeply into his brother's waiting, patient gaze and saw the tentative look there, that perhaps his brother did need reassurance and comfort, just as much-if not more-than he...he realized that maybe it wasn't about repair, easy or hard. They were brothers, after all.
"Always...more than anything...I have loved you, brother...I do love you...even Hell would have been bearable, if I had just...the rare moments that I dreamed, it was always of you...I could have forgone Heaven, my wings, everything...I just wanted you back. I wanted my brother, my place at your side." Lucifer admitted and he gave a rather unangelic sniff that caused him to grimace in embarrassment.
Michael seemed pleased though as his gaze softened and he lifted a hand to run it through Lucifer's hair tenderly, as he'd used to, and Lucifer lifted his own hand to hold Michael's now-smaller one tightly while he leaned into his touch. "Things have not gone as planned, but I am strangely alright with that." he finally said.
Lucifer's brow furrowed slightly. He understood what Michael meant, but still... "You shouldn't be trapped here with me...you deserve-"
"-You deserve freedom as much if not more than I. But if you cannot have it, then I do not mind sharing captivity with you."
"Brother-"
"It's useless to argue something we cannot change anyway, and I have no wish to quarrel now. We will have an eternity for that. For now, I find that I would like to remain like this for awhile longer, if you will allow me." Michael said softly.
Lucifer's expression twisted with pain and love, and weren't they so much the same? But he obediently tightened his grip on Michael and rested his head against the other's lightly. After a moment, he said softly. "It's strange...to be so much larger than you for a change, Cale." he murmured the endearment that he had no used in so long.
Michael's eyes had closed and he didn't open them as he enjoyed his spot in his brother's arms. "Admittedly, it is not ideal to me that your form trumps any that was open to me..."
"Perhaps fate smiles on me for once." This light banter was their way of teasing, of joking, and even this simple play did wonders towards washing away centuries of pain and anguish, of reminding him of the feeling of being wanted, of being himself.
"You are so insolent." Michael complained lightly, a faint smile on his lips and Lucifer grinned faintly.
"I learned from the best."
"Hmph."
A moment of silence passed before Lucifer nuzzled his brother lightly. "Cale?"
"Mm?"
Lucifer lifted a hand to brush through the other's hair lightly, almost reverently, memorizing the feeling, the other's warmth and scent before he went back to holding him and kissed Michael's head softly. "I love you, big brother. More than anything." it felt good to say it, to care nothing for rules and express himself thus, to call the other his 'big brother' again, as childish as it might be.
Michael's eyes slowly opened and he stared ahead for a moment before he tilted his head up to kiss Lucifer's cheek, brotherly and warm. Castiel was not the only angel who could claim a 'profound bond' with another being, nor were the Winchesters the sole beings who could claim a soul mate that extended beyond typical standards. "I love you too, little brother. Above all else."
"Gabriel too." Lucifer added softly, suddenly. "I wish..."
"I know." And he did. Gabriel alone had dared stand by them, Gabriel who, while not as intricately connected as they-had been their loyal and true brother to the end, even if he'd grown oddly fond of the Winchesters, it seemed. Michael wished that Gabriel could join them, although he couldn't say that he desired for him to share their fate, as it was, he wished that he could free Lucifer of it. But he would take what he could get. To have his brother back was more pleasure than could be trumped by the pain of Hell. A light too bright to be diminished.
"We're together then? From now on, it's over, isn't it? Even if we're trapped here, we won't be parted...we'll be together?" Lucifer's voice was soft as he allowed his eyes to close and for the first time, he felt that he would sleep peacefully in Hell.
"Always." came Michael's soft reply, and that one word proved his feelings right as the brothers fell asleep and dreamed of gentler days, bonded for a true eternity, an untouched light in the darkness.
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Mmm. So. It maybe got uber fluffy and sweet to the point of making your teeth hurt, but it was the penultimate moment for them. Centuries of confusion, betrayal, despair, love, hate, need, angst, yada yada all built up into one confrontation and conversation. XD Now if only Gabriel could have popped up...*sigh* XD That's a one-shot, but I did consider some avenues while writing it that could tempt me to write something where they gain their freedom, or have to save Gabe or vice versa, or could be tied into S6, or something like one getting released somehow or Michael makes a deal, I dunno, just brainstorming...but maybe it's better as a one-shot? I dunno. Let me know what you think and then I can decide? XD Or just let me know what you think anyways cause I put lots of time and emotional-heart-wrenchingness into this. XD I adore you alll!~ Love, Witchy~
