Prologue
'Christmas'. What could that mean...?
Upon the proposal of the VP on making this "Christmas" a holiday implemented on the business calendar, he rejected it at first. Yet, he wanted to know its basics, because how the Sellbot boss put it was way out of proportion. He couldn't understand what he meant. Knowing how absent-minded the VP can be, though, he shut his first "son" out of the question.
"B-But Chairman," he whined, "it's a GREAT idea!"
"No it ISN'T!" the Chairman yelled. "Are you even AWARE in that...jelly bean-sized thought processor of YOURS is jumping around like a Doodle?!"
"...Uh, what's a Doodle?"
Facepalm. The leader of the Cogs sighed, and quickly whispered loud enough for the Sellbot to hear. "It's the pet of a Toon?"
"OhHHHHH!" the VP squealed, which was really the sound of metal screeching because he's a robot. "A DOODLE! That sounds cute—"
Godammit. Once he's learned about something, he just couldn't stop talking can he? That VP and his two big mouths.
"Just...*sigh*. Just...go. Get out. I require some time to think."
"Okayyyyyy!" The VP waved, doing the jazz hands motion. And as if it was in slowmo, the VP headed for the door.
"DoIreallyhavetodothis." The Chairman asked himself quickly as he pushed the Sellbot out. It was easy because he was physically stronger. Oh, the irony how the firstbuilt didn't have that, let alone the will to.
Just before the VP could say anything after, the door was slammed in front of his face. Hard.
He could still remember how that conversation playing out before pushing the VP out the door and slamming it on one of his two metal faces. He hoped he hit the smiling one.
Honestly, on the inside he wanted to do some denting on that stupid grin of his. He didn't even KNOW why he built him in the first place. He "felt" like he just had to do it. Despite having the reputation of being more intelligent than the CJ, he definitely did not understand his intentions while raising the firstbuilt in his first days of programming.
Actually, it was known fact that the VP is not really his son. It just seemed that way and it stuck.
It's obvious that we, the readers of this fic, knew that he didn't understand "emotions" at all.
But still, the Chairman wanted to know more about a Christmas. He wondered what it was.
Hence, why he was posting an event online for a "Chairman Family Reunion" on Cogbook.
Unknown to Toons, Cogs have access to what humans call an "internet". Funny thing is, Cogs know about humans themselves AND gave a name to those "living beyond the fourth wall", and it's just a secret so Toons can keep killing them. Or, at least the generic ones. Sentient Cogs are the unpredictable percentage of Cog Nation's residents. He knew there were Cogs who knew what they were doing, but not only that: some ended up being 'traitors' to their own kind. Others chose to stay loyal to him. To him, there was no in-between. He knows that Cogs who do not achieve sentience may be loyal, but are certainly likely to explode at some point. But after all these years, there is no surprise. He learned that ever since two years ago during the season of fall.
But anyway here are the Chairman's words upon posting them:
Family Reunion
Who? Under the orders of the Chairman. Why is this thing asking me unspecific questions?
What? I have no idea. Again, who made this format? I am losing my patience...
Why? Is it NECESSARY to KNOW WHY? What a very idiotic question.
Where? For security reasons, I am unable to tell you. All you need to know is that I am definitely going to give you some coordinates to my location. To get this, you must add me and message me about it.
How? I JUST SAID HOW TO GO, YOU GODDAMN SITE! WHO MADE THIS? WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS?! I AM CURRENTLY THREATENING TO FIRE THEM.
RVSP by December 14, 2015.
After typing it all out without any proofreading, the Chairman panted rapidly as he hit "Send".
Posting something online was, at the same time, a good and bad idea.