Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare wrote it first, dammit.

Jace

Clary

Jonathon

~T~P~O~L~

Homeroom

Hello.

-JW

Hi.

~C

I'm sorry-

-JW

I didn't read that note.

~C

I saw that. You're still mad at me?

-JW

What'd you think I'd be, Jace? Happy?

~C

Maybe...?

-JW

Get real. Why they hell would I be happy with you? Jace, you totally stood me up, just to take that skank of yours out to dinner. Did she even EAT anything? Or did she go to the bathroom to throw it all up?

~C

I know, I'm sorry. I should've called to tell you I was taking Aline out. And don't make jokes about her being anorexic. :(

-JW

Whatever. She makes jokes about me screwing around with Simon. What do you see in her?

~C

She's everything to me, Clary. You would like her, if you both would stop fighting. You know I want my best friend and girlfriend to get along...What's with the five year grudge between you two?

-JW

There's not a chance in hell of me ever liking her, sorry. :p You'd be better off with Maia.

~C

The last time I spoke with Maia, she threatened to cut my balls off and feed them to her dog, Luke. What the hell do you mean, I'll be better off with her?

-JW

At least it'll be Luke eating them. And get over it, we don't like eachother.

~C

C, I love you, but you're acting like a Grade A bitch, right now.

-JW

Fine. Stop writing these stupid notes, before Ms. Lightwood catches us, you bastard. Besides, if I'm too much of a GRADE A BITCH, don't bother.

~C

Clary...

-JW

C'mon, I'm sorry.

-JW

Can we please talk over this during lunch?

-JW

~T~P~O~L~

After Lunch

History

I didn't see you at lunch.

-JW

That's because I ate in the Girls' Bathroom.

~C

Why would you do that? I wanted to talk to you...

-JW

I was hiding from your pimp.

~C

Aline? Why were you hiding from her?

-JW

She threatened me, you asshole. Why are you dating her? She's a bitch to everyone and just-ARGH!

~C

She threatened you? Why? And I'm dating her because I love her.

-JW

She told me to stay away from you, because she thinks I'm secretly in love with you. Believe it or not, but most girls don't like it when their boyfriend has a best friend who is also a girl.

~C

Oh.

Are you in love with me?

-JW

Why would you ask that?

~C

Answer the damn question, Clary.

-JW

I don't.

~C

What the-You're blushing!

-JW

Jace-

~C

End of History

You never answered my question.

-JW

Yeah, I did. I told you, no.

~C

But you were BLUSHING.

-JW

It's hot in here. Jeez. Freak out, much?

~C

Oh. Okay. 'Cause I was about to say, that would be totally awkward for us if you did.

-JW

Yeah.

~C

And think about it; Poor Aline. She'd be crushed to find out I've been hanging out with someone who has a crush on me. Then I'd have to convince her I wasn't cheating on her...You know how she gets.

-JW

You really love her?

~C

I do. I mean, I love you like a sister, but I love Aline so much.

-JW

Okay.

~C

So why does Aline think you're in love with me?

-JW

I don't know..Why? Are you being MODEST, Jace? ;)

~C

Ha ha. No. Seriously. If that is what's been bugging you two forever, I'll fix it. I want my two favourite girls to like eachother, you know.

-JW

Are you pouting?

~C

Maybe.

-JW

Cute. Immature, but cute.

~C

I've just been called cute. By my best friend. Where did my manliness go?

-JW

Face it, Wayland. I've got you whipped. ;)

~C

Shut up.

-JW

You know you love me when I crack that baby-

~C

Shut up.

-JW

Like...INDIANA JOOOONNNNESS, sugar. I love me some Harrison Ford. ;)

~C

God, you are so annoying. I can see why Aline hates you.

-JW

Nah. She hates me because I'm naturally skinny. And have actually been inside your room.

And your bed. *waggles eyebrows*

~C

I feel so violated.

-JW

You should feel violated. You're dating a chick that has herpes.

~C

Screw you, Clary. I haven't dissed you and your relationship with Simon.

-JW

Excuse moi? There IS no relationship between us, dumbass. You should learn to stop listening to that girlfriend of yours.

~C

Funny. She said the same thing about you.

-JW

Really now? Maybe you should stop listening to me.

~C

I will stop.

-JW

Super. But it isn't as if you listened to me in the first place. If you did, Aline would be out the door faster than you could say "Herpes".

~C

Clary...

-JW

Herpes.

~C

8O

-JW

Herpes...

Have you come to your senses yet?

~C

You're impossible.

-JW

Your point being...?

~C

Aline's possible.

-JW

Enough about Aline, already. Are we still up for tonight? You, me, bowl of popcorn and the Half-Blood Prince?

~C

Actually...

-JW

Don't say it.

~C

I'm sorry! I made plans with Aline to take her to the mall tonight.

-JW

When, exactly, did you make these dratted plans?

~C

Today, during lunch.

-JW

We made plans for Harry Potter Movie Night, like, every Wednesday night. You don't break that promise, Jace.

~C

Clary, she's my girlfriend.

-JW

And I'm your friend. Which one matters more?

a.) The one who is always there for you...

Or...

b.) Skank with herpes who is always there for you when you leave a booty call.

~C

If I answer that, I'd sound like a real douche.

-JW

You're being a real douche.

~C

I'm sorry.

-JW

I've heard that before. Oh, look. Saved by the bell...

~C

Cla-

~T~P~O~L~

Math

We're completely different.

~C

Who's completely different? And why the hell are we passing notes? Isn't the common way for teenagers to communicate it through text?

JM

Me and Aline. Texting is overr8d, btw.

~C

Right. I thought writing became overrated after technology? And I thought you said you were over Jace?

JM

I only said that so you would stop nagging me about it! And people still write. It's very romantic.

~C

I'm sorry, but I'm not writing romantic letters to my little sister by ten minutes. And the only letters written these days are suicide notes.

JM

Whatever. Shut up about the damn letters, for a minute. I want to talk to you about my problems, and you are going to listen. And then you are going to comfort me.

~C

And if I don't?

JM

I'll tell Maia you popped a boner for her last week when you saw her in that bikini.

~C

What? Clary, that chick's crazy! She'll cut my boys off and feed them to her crazy-ass dog.

JM

Oh, hush. Luke is the most adorable husky I've ever seen. Anyways: What do you boys see in girls like Aline?

~C

We don't see in them. Unless we're in them.

JM

Gross...

~C

Kidding, kidding. But really, it's their boobs we look at. And their legs.

JM

I have none of those.

~C

Poor you. Jace loves Aline. Don't you want him to be happy?

JM

How can he be happy with Aline?

~C

...I don't think you want me to answer that.

JM

Don't.

She knows, though.

~C

That you like him?

JM

Yeah. She cornered me before lunch and told me she'd send her cousin after me if I went after Jace.

~C

That bitch. We had a restraining order put on Sebastian, Clary. He won't come near you.

JM

Jace doesn't believe that she'd threaten me. God. I wish he wasn't so blind.

~C

I'm sorry about...her. You want me to talk to him?

JM

Nah. I'm still pissed at him for cancelling Harry Potter Night.

~C

'Kay. See you l8r, g8r.

JM

OMG...Never say that again...

~C

~T~P~O~L~

Art

Are you still mad at me?

-JW

No duh, you dipshit.

~C

I'm mad, too.

-JW

At Aline?

~C

No at you.

-JW

WTF? 8O

~C

Don't give me that BS, Clary. You lied to me.

-JW

Fine! I lied. I totally think Voldemort can kick Dumbledore's ass.

~C

Not what I was talking about...But damn. You're wrong for that.

-JW

What are you mad about?

~C

I told Aline about you saying that she threatened you.

-JW

And...

~C

She denied it. I can't believe you.

-JW

What? You're taking her side? But Jace-

I don't even want to hear it. I can't believe you lied to me. And you're jealous of Aline.

-JW

So this is how it's going to be? You're taking her side over mine?

~C

...Yes.

-JW

Clary?

JW

Are you alright?

JW

Clary-What's wrong? Your eyes are red-Are you crying?

JW

Clary stop...

JW

You know I hate it when you cry...

JW

I know you aren't sick. Why are you going to the nurse?

JW

Clary...

I'm sorry.

JW

~T~P~O~L~

Biology II

What'd you say to Clary?

JM

I told her I didn't trust her, and that I chose Aline over her.

JW

WTF?

JM

I regretted it as soon as I said it...Is she alright?

JW

I don't know. She went home early. Crying.

JM

Damn.

JW

You screwed up, man.

JM

I'm going to go see her.

JW

Now?

JM

Now.

JW

Later:

One New Message:

From: Aline

omg, jace, baby, i lurv u so much...but i cant do this anymore. i like grls. & ur annoying w/ that skank following u around like she owns u, but watevr. wer ovr.

l8rs,

aline p.

~T~P~O~L~

Why aren't you talking to me?

JW

Why did you leave school?

~C

I missed you.

JW

Bull.

~C

Guess what?

JW

What?

~C

Aline dumped me.

-JW

If you're looking for words of comfort, this bitch ain't got anything to offer.

~C

I love you.

-JW

After your girlfriend kicked your ass to the curb. A little too late, sweetheart.

~C

I love you.

-JW

Shut up.

~C

I love you.

-JW

It wasn't funny the first time, Jace.

~C

()

No. You can't come here and tell me you love me and kiss me ONLY after she dumped you-

~C

()

I love you.

-JW

Go away, Jace.

~C

()

I love you.

-JW

()

Stop it.

~C

Stop crying.

-JW

Stop telling me what to do.

~C

()

I'm sorry I didn't act out on this sooner...

-JW

()

Why now?

~C

Because I love you. Now shut up and let me kiss you like I should've been doing for years.

-JW

Damn straight. I haven't forgiven you yet, though-

~C

()

It doesn't matter, as long as you forgive me.

-JW

()

()

I love you.

-JW

Sucker. I loved you first.

~C

()

()

()

-End