Forbidden

A Naruto Fiction

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/ Angst/ Tragedy/ Hurt/ Comfort

This is supposedly my first Naruto fiction based on Hinata and Neji, and the reason for the tension between them. I hope you guys like it and please review!

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I see her walking in front of me

She walks next to Shino, Kiba and Akamaru, her team

I look at her; she's smiling towards them as they talk

I stand behind this tree and watch her intently

She walks the same way, her shy footsteps reaching my ears

Her hands are tied behind her back and her head is slightly bowed down

She is wearing the same almond colored jacket

Her hair have grown till her back, making her look even more like a goddess

Her pale eyes glimmer with happiness as she plays around with the now full-grown Akamaru

Her skin shines under the bright sun

She looks towards me and I turn away instinctively

I clench my fist and shut eyes tightly as I rest my back to the tree

I can hear her laugh, her sweet voice ringing in my ears

I put my hands over my ears so that I wont be able to hear her

I cover my ears tightly with my hands

But her voice penetrates the sharpest way

I turn towards her again, now she's walking away

Her hands are still tied behind her back and she is still walking shyly

I turn again, hitting my head hard on the tree with my back to it

I clench my fist again and punch the tree sideways

I feel like exploding at the moment

Even from her back does she seem perfect

Her every feature compliments her in the most beautiful way

And it is those features that I hate the most

For I hate her not because I love her

But I hate her because I am forbidden to love her

She is forbidden to me, and I to her

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I watch as he stands opposite to my father

I peer at him from behind the wall

I could see the droplets of sweat pouring off his forehead

I could see his steady and fast breathing

The way his chest raised and fell

I could see the way his hair fell back, loosely tied back with a few strands escaping the tie

I could make out the intensity in his eyes as he used his Byakugan

His hands were stretched out in his stance

His feet were firm and he had a full grasp of the situation

He charged on ahead, dodging the many kunais thrown at him by my father

I give out a small cry as I see one of the kunais scratch his jacket

But then sigh as I find out that he is left unharmed, only letting his jacket tear up

I smile at him and then bite my lip

Then I turn around and run to my room without making any sound

I slide the rice paper door shut and put my back to it, slipping to the ground

I can make out his voice as he practices outside

I shut my eyes tightly as I see him practicing from my window

The way his eyes reflected pain, the way his voice reflected growth

He had matured in the worst possible circumstances

I clench my fists so hard that I could feel my nails pierce through my own skin

I quietly watch as the blood trickles down from my hand and on to the floor

Droplets fall slowly from my eyes, making small marks on the wooden floor

I kept on watching as the blood trickled relentlessly from four different points of my hand

My mind kept on screaming his name but all that I could say was "Naruto-kun…"

Because he was forbidden to me, and I to him

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I walk down the small dirt road that lead to the forest

I sigh in relief, as I can no longer hear the voices and laughter of the village people

I never did enjoy festivals, especially at this time of the year

I walk without a sound, my eyes on the dirt road below me

The full moon had completely lit up the forest

Through the many trees, I hear a familiar sound

I run behind one of the bushes and look at the figure in front of me

She stands there with her characteristic stance

She eases up and walks to the side of the little opening

My eyes follow her petite figure

She only wears her black shirt and blue capris

She bends down and holds a bottle of water in her hand

She twists the cap and holds the bottle above her head

Then she slowly pours the whole bottle on top of herself

She twists her head from one side to the other

Then she caps the bottle and puts it onto the ground again

Her skin glistens in the moonlight

The droplets of water hug her face and make it glitter

Her hair stick to her back and her face

Her shirt clings to her body, her frame becoming more and more obvious

She looks up at the moon and goes down to her knees

She starts whimpering and crying while holding her hands up in prayer position

I can see the tears streaking down her cheeks

I wonder what she could be praying for

But then the thought painfully hits me

She must be praying for her beloved Naruto

The one person who seems to be oblivious to her love for him

The one person who denies her feelings in the worst possible way

The only person I envy in this whole world

And what I would give to be in his place

To receive the same love he gets from her

To have her look at me like she looks at him

To have her want me the same way she wants him

And how I would cherish her till eternity

I would cherish her even if she was forbidden to me, and I to her

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I go down on my knees and clasp my hands together tightly

I look up at the moon as my eyes fill up with tears

He keeps on coming into my mind

He keeps on disturbing me in my sleep

He keeps on distracting me in my training

I really don't know what I would do without him

I want him to like me, to love me

But I know very well that he hates me

And even if he didn't, we would still never be together

Because he was forbidden to me, and I to him

I look up at the moon again as those tears escape my eyes

I pray that just for once, even for a moment, I get a chance to be with him

Not to have him as my protector, but as a friend, as a lover

I wish that somehow, I would have the strength to think of someone else

I wish for Kami-sama to make me love Naruto like I love him

I wish for myself to forget any thought of him

But this prayer goes out every night

And every morning I wake up, still drawn to him

To his eyes, to his face, to his voice, to his soul

I do not wish to love him, nor do I know of how or when it happened

But I know for a certain fact that I had loved him even when he hated me

I had loved him even when he was about to kill me

And I love him still

And if I ever get the chance to, I would love him if he killed me

Because I would want nothing more than to die off his hands

Thatdeath would be a satisfactory death

Because better for me to be apart from him

Than to live through the agony of watching him everyday

To have him sit next to him, to watch him train in front of me

And still not be able to have him, to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him

Such thoughts from me had once surprised me

But I do not feel any shame anymore in this matter

I am done blushing over such feeble thoughts

Because there was no harm in thinking of something which I knew would never happen

I hold my hands tighter, wanting to stay there forever

Then I get up on my feet, pick up the empty water bottle on the ground

And walk away trying to think of someone else but him

Because he was forbidden to me, and I to him

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I walk into her room

Her room is almost empty, not like the rooms of usual girls

But then she wasn't a 'usual' girl either

She wasn't just an ordinary girl to me

I walk on ahead and gently sit on her bed

I hold her pillow in my hands and bring it up on my lap

It smells just like her

Her scent couldn't very well be described

It wasn't anything inhuman like lavender or violet

Rather something pleasant, something which could not be described

I took in as much as I could, leaving imprints in my mind of her

But as I hold her pillow in my hand, my eyes divert to little marks on the floor

I put the pillow back and bend down to the ground

I see small red marks on the floor

Red the same as of dried blood

I put my hand on the marks and try to brush them away

But they stayed, only giving small rust to my finger

I look at the blood on my hands in horror

She had either been injured or she had been inflicting pain upon herself

I stay there for a while, wondering the cause of the blood on the floor

Then I get up and walk outside of her room quietly, not wanting anyone to her me

She had gone for a mission with her team so I couldn't ask her what had happened

But I highly doubt that she would tell me

She was too shy to interact with

And I didn't have the first idea of how to talk to her

I didn't have any way with words

Over the past two years, we had become closer than before

But I still didn't know of how to approach her

I wanted her to be right beside me, right next to me

I wanted to caress those azure hair, wanted to gaze directly into those pearl eyes without fear

I wanted to hold her face in my hands, wanted to brush my lips with hers

But I was not deserving, I was not worth her

She was kind, she was loving, she was forgiving

And I was cruel, I held hatred, I held grudges

But still, just once, I wanted to be near her

Not as a cousin, or a protector, but as a person

A person who loved her, and a person who she loved just as much

But she was forbidden to me, and I to her

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I stand here, alone, in the open flower field

I have tears filled in my eyes but I don't cry

Crying is exactly what would prove my father right

Regardless of all the insults, I would hold back my tears

I can still hear my father's words echoing in my head

I can feel those words taking the life out of me

'Hinata, I don't see why you chose this life? You can never be as strong as a Shinobi should be… and you can never lead this clan… why don't you just give up on your false dreams. All you can do is get in the way…'

I was never good enough for my family

I was never ever good enough for him

I can see him coming towards me

He has his head down, looking towards the ground

I feel heat reaching up to my face

But I resisted the urge to fall into his arms and cry my heart out

But I stay put in my position, not moving a muscle

He doesn't stop, just keeps on walking

He looks up at me with his heartrending eyes

He opens his mouth to say something

But I cant hear his voice reach my ears

I look up to him in sorrow and confusion

He steps towards me and puts his hands around my arms

Then he pulls me closer to himself

My eyes shoot open I surprise as I feel myself thrash into his embrace

He has his arms wrapped around me

I can feel his body heat reach into mine

I wanted to pull away from him, not wanting to get too carried away

But his embrace, it felt just so good

I felt safe, I felt accepted, I felt like I was closest to heaven as I have ever been

I release the tension in my body and let him have his way

I pull up my arms to his chest and dig my face in his chest

I feel a few strands of his hair reach down on my face

Those tears which I had held back did not escape

I promised a long time back that I would never be weak in front of him

And I didn't let it show

His soft fingers started to streak my back

I could feel myself tremble under his touch

I wanted him to stay with me

I wanted for so long for him to be with me like he was just then

I wanted him to hold me like he did just then

Even if he was forbidden to me, and I to him

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I know it to be wrong to hold her like this

I know it to be going against the rules to be like this

But I couldn't take all the sadness which she held in her eyes

I couldn't understand how a father could be so cruel to his daughter

I couldn't understand how everyone could never accept her for who she was

And I couldn't understand how, even after all of this, did she not a shed a tear for such

I started caressing her back, a few strands of her hair falling in to my hands' path

I place my chin over her head

I take in her scent, the same fragrance which came from her pillow

I could feel her tremble under my arms

I am ready to pull back I feel her hands clutch onto my shirt

She doesn't want to me to let go of her

I keep her in my arms

I keep her in my arms as she slowly starts to slip down to the ground

I hold her up so she doesn't fall

She pulls her head back and looks into my eyes

She holds uncertainty and sorrow

She holds humiliation and depression

As much as I try to hide myself from her, she would always understand

And she would always be there

'N-N-Neji-nii-san…' She stammers under her breath

I look down at her and speak out, 'Yes, Hinata-sama…'

'J-Just stay…' She whispers before falling into my arms completely

I would never leave her side

She might love someone else but I still love her just as much

I sit down on the ground with her body in my arms

I didn't want anything to change back then

I wanted us to be like this forever

I hold her hand in my own and squeeze is lovingly

Then I plant a guilty kiss on her forehead before leaning to a tree and putting my head back

She has her head on my chest

I smile at her before drifting off to sleep

And I hold her even when she is forbidden to me, and I to her

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I wake up, feeling strong arms wrapped around me

I stir a bit to find that I was lying in the arms of him

He opens his eyes and looks at me

Then he gives me a smile and I blush

I blush so furiously that I bet I never flushed like this in front of Naruto-kun

He lets go of me but sits there

And I don't want to move away from him

I want him to stay by my side

I felt like a thousands worries had lifted from my shoulders when he was around

Because he accepted me, regardless of how weak I was

I feel my heart race a millions times faster

I mind gets dizzy with all the thinking

To chose whether to serve and obey, or to live

He raises his arm and puts his hand over my face

And that is when I decide

I open my mouth, 'N-Neji-nii-san…'

He looks at me intently, his eyes sober and compiled

I turn my head and close my eyes tight, clenching my fist, not having the courage to look at him

He puts his hands on my hands and brings then up

Then he gently forces them open and stares at them

Guilty red marks were clearly visible

Slight curved and maroon brown in colour

He looks up to me blankly, not saying a word

I pull my hands away in embarrassment

'I-It's nothing…'

He keeps on looking at me before saying, 'What is troubling you Hinata-sama?'

Why? Why is it Hinata-sama? Why not just Hinata for a change?

We are cousins, are we not? So then why the obliged formalities?

Why must he protect me by force instead of by will?

Why must he be so distant to me?

Why must I have this power over him?

I would never even think of using the power I had over him

Because he had pride and I was no one to shatter it

He might have never known it but he had no idea of the power he held over me

That his every word made my world a little less dark

That he was the single reason for my life

His hands hold mine as I gather the courage in me

'Neji-nii-san… I… I don't care what my father says… I don't care about what the clan's elders say… I can't do it…'

I finally feel those tears escaping my eyes

He holds me tighter

'Sshh… It's okay…' He whispers to me but I pull apart

'No it's not! I-I… I want to be with you Neji-nii-san…' I scream lightly at him

I fall into his embrace and let myself get carried away

Because for once, being with him like this, it made me happy

It made me feel perfect, the moment, this life, this night, all perfect

But the single thought didn't leave me

The thought that he was forbidden to me, and I to him

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I look at her in surprise in awe

I hear those words coming out of her mouth

Those lips move so perfectly

And then she buries her head in my chest

I can feel my yukata soak up, can feel her sob

'No you don't Hinata-sama…' I reply to her

Why? Because she deserved someone much better

She deserved someone who had at least never tried to kill her

She deserved happiness, the happiness I could never give

She pulls away from me

'I do… I can't go on pretending… I love you' I hear her say

I gaze down at her in surprise and shock

Those three words had said so much to me but then I turn my head away

'But I thought you… and Naruto…' I stammer for the first time in my life

How could she love me when she loved him?

'I wanted to love him… so that I could get over you…' She says, pulling my face closer to herself

'But I can't do it… I can't go on pretending that I like Naruto-kun… because I love you!'

Did she really mean what she said?

Did she pretend all this time? She was even stronger than I though she was

I look at her and smile as she comes closer

I look down one more time at her pink lips

Then I close my eyes and touch her lips with mine

She was hesitating, I knew it

So I pull back with a frown, not wanting to rush her

Even if I wanted her so badly

But then she looks to me and smiles,

The smile she only gives to me

The smile that always made me loose my mind

That smile which I had lived to protect

That smile that I live to love

Then she draws closer until our lips meet again

This time, she seems bolder

I keep on kissing her, moving my lips with hers

I was doing something which was forbidden to me, and forbidden to her

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I trusted him, I knew him, I loved him

No more fantasies, only the reality

His lips touch mine again, and this time I let him kiss

Waves of excitement and passion flow through me

I hold his face in my hands and keep kissing him

I didn't really know how to but I did as he did

I move my lips with his, trying to be as good as I can

I can feel him asking entrance and I let him

His tongue enters my mouth gently but forcefully

I let him have his way again

We kiss, just lying there on the ground with the flowers and mist of night

Just kissing, the most wonderful feeling ever

My body starts to quake under his as he kisses me more furiously

Then when I start to moan does he pull away from breath

'Hinata-sama… I am undeserving…' He whispers to me

'You are no less than me Neji-nii-san… but so much more… and I understand if you do not feel the same way about me-'

He still hated me

He still didn't think of me as what I wanted him to think of me

But then he places his finger on my lips

'I do… Hinata-sama… I…'

He was having difficulty in expressing his feelings and I complied

I giggle at him, wiping my tears away but then become tense

'This is wrong… I knew it… Neji-nii-san-'

He stops me again

'Neji… just Neji…' He whispers to me

I look at him in shock but then look away

He puts his finger under my chin and turns my head towards himself

Then he draws me to another kiss, a kiss far more passionate

I moan, I whimper under his touch

He slides his hands to my waist and caresses my whole body ingeniously

I start to shake under him and then break away

He looks at me and caresses my cheek lovingly

I fall into his embrace and lie there for as long as life would let me

Because I had, in my mind, decided to serve and obey

'What will happen to me… to us Neji?'

He just whisks my hair, closing his eyes

'Father shall banish me…'

'No…' He says to me, his voice loving and caring

'Nothing will happen to you…'

I start to cry in his lap, worried of the consequences of this meeting

'I will not let him banish you…'

'He will hurt you Neji… he will use the Seal… Neji you musn't do this…' I cry to him

But he looks at me and smiles

'Everything will be fine Hinata… I promise… is it not my duty to protect you?' He asks me

I nod to him unsurely

'Then I should do whatever it takes to fulfill it…'

'Promise you won't leave…' I beg him

He just kisses me back, enough a declaration that he would be with me forever

Those kisses which were forbidden to him, and to me

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I wake up alone in my bedroom to look at the clear blue sky out the window

'Was it a dream?' I ask myself

I get up, get dressed and run downstairs to the courtyard to find him practicing with my father

He does not smile to me

He does not speak to me

He does not look at me

I bow my head in dismay, having it to be such a painful dream

I put down some water and rice balls on the side for my father and him

They both stop their run and come towards me

I walk away from both of them and return to the kitchen

I wash my hands and wash the left over dishes before leaving the kitchen again

Kiba and Shino would've been waiting outside for me

I get out of the kitchen to see Neji walking towards me

He was going to his room

I slowly walk past him

His shoulder brushes mine

His eyes set on me

I look at him keenly

He smiles to me

Then stops next to me

I do the same, standing opposite to him next to him

And he whispers, 'Everything will be alright…'

I smile brightly and skip out of the house as he walks away

Things wouldn't be so bad after all

Regardless of what father does

He gives me courage, he is my strength

And as long as he is with me, I could ask for no more

And even if he was forbidden to me, and I to him…

I would still love him

Because forbidden doors were always made to be opened

Because forbidden acts were always done by men

Because forbidden fruit was always made to be tasted

And it always tasted the sweetest

Just like my love, just like my Neji did…

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PHEW! REVIEW PLEASE! I hope you liked it… I was bored and thought that I should go ahead and write this…