A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Harry Potter story so I hope you all like it! Criticism is welcome so feel free to say whatever you want. BTW this is Dramione, don't like don't read J

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and everything associated with it belongs to J.K Rowling, and J.K Rowling alone.

Narcissa Malfoy's Diary P.O.V

16th of April

He is like a broken china doll. So damaged, yet still, so beautiful. So fragile, yet so strong. So angelic, yet so heartless. And above all, so very, very cold.

I like to think he is still saveable, that some part of him can still be salvaged, that he is not damned, not yet cursed and unwanted by both heaven and hell, doomed to exist in oblivion. That's what I like to think. Doesn't make it true though.

I would also very much like to blame his ways solely on his father, his cruel, unforgiving, bastard of a father. But I cannot, because I was an accomplice, and he knows it. Because I stood there and watched, as my own son looked at me with tortured eyes, begging me to do something, anything, yet all I did was continue to do nothing and simply let it happen.

He forgave me though. I wish he didn't.

Deep down I know he still blames me for his childhood that ended at 6, the comfort I never gave at 7, the beating I watched at 8, the terror he felt at 9, the hurt he experienced at 10, the hugs he never got when he left at 11, all the way to now and the actions I should've took but didn't.

But despite all this I can assuredly say I have never stopped loving him. I just never knew how to show him. I was there for him, he just never saw me. He would never see all the scars that mar my body from all the many times I tried to convince Lucius to stop. He would never know about the agony I went through from seeing him in pain. And he would never feel the guilt I felt at not being able to do anything as parts of him slowly died and faded away.

It's sad to think, that he stopped smiling at 16, stopped hoping at 17, stopped believing at 18, stopped feeling at 19 and has now stopped living all together.

Draco isn't a very religious person, he does not believe in God, or Heaven or Hell. But I do. And I pray for him every night, that one day something will happen to make him change his ways, and to start living again, to start dreaming again, to start loving again. It has yet to happen, but it will come, I know it will.

21st of April

Draco came over to talk to me today. He did not look happy, but he didn't look sad either. I think he looked acceptant, and for now, that is enough for me. He told me about his company, Draconis Inc, and how well business was going.

After the war he had surprisingly wanted to take initiative and help rebuild our world, so he opened a company that could literally be hired for anything, free, as long as you became an investor in the company once everything returned to a more normal state. When everything was rebuilt and his company was no longer needed, he changed it so that it dabbled in a little of everything, from food, to fashion to architecture. He is incredibly famous now, and the money is pouring in, not that we ever needed it in the first place.

I ask him about his dating life, and if there was a girl that had yet to catch his fancy, to which he responded with a snort and a definitely not. Intrigued, I questioned him.

It had been a while since he has actually dated a single girl for more than a month, but he'd never been so decisive with his answer before. He may often have a different girl hanging off his arm at each social event he attends, but he usually always answers with a shrug and a noncommittal no.

He tells me that the couple that had been living one floor under him, had recently moved out, and a new girl, who went to Hogwarts with him moved in. He laughed harshly at that, and said something about how she was probably put on Earth just to annoy him. I asked him about this and he told me it was the one and only Hermione Granger, Princess of Gryffindor, one third of the Golden Trio, best buds with Scarface, and of course the only person who managed to beat him in every single subject except flying. He sneered at this point and told me, that although he had gotten past the whole blood issue, she was always going to be dirty and below him in his eyes. My own eyes widened in shock at this, I had never heard Draco speak so passionately about anyone, let alone a girl, in many years. Not even Potter or Weasley in Draco's younger years had garnered such a response from him. So naturally, I questioned him as to why it was he hated her so much. He tells me a whole bunch of reasons, from she's ugly as hell to she's a goody-goody two shoes, none of which were legitimate reasons to hate someone for. After much pushing he breaks and tells me.

During the war, Draco and I switched sides and decided to seek refuge with the order. At first they were very wary and suspicious of us (I don't blame them) but eventually after an unbreakable vow, and many questions asked under veritaserum, they learned to trust us. We gave away many secrets and hiding places and when the war was finished we were treated as war heroes for our help during it. Draco, in particular, became very popular, especially with the ladies. Everyone learned to like him and trust him, even Harry and Ron. But never Hermione, she always continued to be cold and unforgiving towards him, and that was what Draco hates her for, for being allowed to hang onto a past that everyone forced him to forget. Unjust he called it.

We chatted a little more before he decided it was time to head off home so that he wouldn't meet Granger on the way.

Once he left I pondered for a little while. I knew my son seemed completely fine from the outside, but for someone who knows him well, it is easy to spot the façade he has on, the anger and anguish he is keeping hidden inside. He has friends, Blaise, Theodore, even Pansy but he always seems so alone. Behind his hard shell, he is vulnerable, and to protect himself, he refuses to let anyone in. But despite his lack of defences inside, he is a dangerous man. Not in the way he would physically harm you, but in the way he would mentally kill you. I have seen him ruin people's lives with a single sentence, and break people to the point they no longer have any desire to live. He had become obsessed with power during the war, and will stop at nothing to get it, including betraying and using even the people he loves. I wouldn't be surprised if he does it to me one day, hurt, but not surprised.