Companion piece to Adventures in Being Sexiled. Not necessary to read the other before this one.
This is a scene mentioned in Adventures in Being Sexiled, and the idea just kept plaguing my brain until I wrote it. It's kinda weird, so enjoy!
Music pulsed through the basement, matching the drunken swaying and grinding of the partying teenagers. Brittany had lost her shirt hours before, and Puck's pants were hanging off of a lamp. Quinn sat on the couch with Rachel, both girls mostly sober and tiring out quickly. Everyone else had energy in bucket-loads.
A fast-paced Shakira song came on, and Blaine hopped on a table, swiveling his hips in a seductive, overdone manner. He howled along to the song, a primal glint in his eyes.
"Ku-urt!" He yelled, arms swinging above his head. "Come dance with me!"
Kurt jumped up on the table quickly, still pretty coordinated considering how much alcohol he's imbibed, and shimmied up to his boyfriend, tossing his jacket to the crowd. Mercedes caught it and hooted with laughter.
"Hey there, stud," he purred, wrapping both arms around his boyfriend's neck. "Let's dance."
Kurt moved his leg in between both of Blaine's rubbing up against him to the beat of the music. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hips, and they swayed together, chests flushed and mouths inches apart.
"Hot damn!" Tina shouted, and Santana slurred something like, "Wanky-wanky!" Mike looked slightly scandalized, and Puck just looked turned on.
"C'mon, Finn!" Rachel pulled her boyfriend towards his stepbrother. "Let's dance."
As the only other sober teen in the room, Quinn was the sole person to realize that Rachel was, once again, trying to steal the spotlight. She rolled her eyes and concentrated on Kurt and Blaine.
Rachel hopped up next to Kurt, Finn on her heels. After a few attempts, Finn was able to crawl onto the table, where his girlfriend was waiting, moving with the music. He grabbed her waist, and she took the lead.
Kurt and Blaine were heating up now, nipping at each other's mouths, never lingering in a kiss too long. Kurt's hands traveled down, resting firmly on his boyfriend's chest.
Rachel copied his move, only taking it a step further and ripping the shirt over Finn's head, tossing it behind her. Finn blushed, but giggled at Artie's shocked face.
Unfortunately, Finn's shirt hit Blaine in the face, causing him to stumble and fall off the table. He landed in a heap, and immediately started laughing hysterically.
"Blaine!" Kurt shouted, Santana and Lauren prompted him with cheers of, "Keep dancing, Porcelain! Move that ass!"
"Keep dancing!" Blaine added, in between giggles. "I have a great view from here!"
Kurt marched over to Rachel and started telling her off, but Finn caught him around the waist before he could get violent. Rachel jumped off the table, a little afraid of what Kurt might do, and sat back down next to Quinn, who shot her a vaguely amused look. Blaine stayed on the ground, watching Kurt with intense fascination.
"Dance!" Brittany shouted, and Finn shrugged, taking Kurt's waist in his hands. Kurt wrapped an arm around Finn's neck, legs on either side of one of Finn's. They rubbed and swayed and bounced with the music – now Ke$ha – while the rest of the group wolf-whistled and cheered.
"Day-um!" Mercedes called out at one point, giggling. "Incest is hot!"
"I second that!" Blaine shouted abruptly, eyes glassy as he watched his boyfriend dance.
Finn and Kurt started speeding up as a faster-paced song came on, and Kurt's free hand trailed to his stepbrother's chest. Finn laughed nervously, and Kurt closed his eyes as he got lost in the music.
A phone rang upstairs, and the room got quiet. Rachel departed the basement, and almost as soon as she left, she was back, panic in her eyes. Kurt and Finn stopped dancing, and the room turned to face their hostess.
"My dads are coming back early!" She cried. "You guys have to leave – now!"
The kids filed out of the basement, stumbling and laughing and panicking. Blaine went up to Rachel's bedroom, where he would spend the night. Mike, Tina, Puck, Lauren, and Santana headed out to walk home, and Quinn piled the rest of the partiers into her car. Kurt pecked his boyfriend goodbye, then squeezed himself between Brittany and Finn.
The car ride was quiet, with Artie humming along to the radio and Mercedes giggling every so often. Kurt was basically in Finn's lap, and snuggled up against his stepbrother, eyes drooping sleepily. Finn laughed awkwardly, running his fingers through Kurt's hair.
Quinn pulled up outside of the Hummel-Hudson residence, and Finn hopped out cheerfully, slinging Kurt over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes when the smaller boy refused to get up. Artie wolf-whistled, and Brittany called out something about dolphins.
"He's my stepbrother, you sickos!" Kurt shouted back, flipping them some rather nasty hand gestures. It turned out Kurt was a rather bipolar drunk – innocent and a little sad and super cuddly at times, then incredibly belligerent the rest of the time. Finn found it amusing, as long as he didn't have to be sober. Dealing with an inebriated Kurt without drinking was like having surgery without Novocain.
As Finn stumbled inside, he laughed to himself. "Thank god Mom and Burt aren't home. That would be so embarrassing."
Kurt huffed. "Let me down, you baffoon. I'm getting vertigo."
"Nuh-uh." Finn trudged towards the stairs, hoping beyond hope that he didn't trip up them while carrying Kurt. "This is more fun."
They somehow made it into Kurt's room, and Finn unceremoniously dropped his stepbrother onto the bed. He collapsed down next to Kurt, giggling. "You're so light."
Kurt pouted. "No I'm not. I'm fat. Fat and stupid. I don't know even know why Blaine wants me!"
His face scrunched up and Finn was really afraid his stepbrother was going to cry, so he wrapped his arms around him and said, "No, no you're not. You're super skinny and pretty and stuff."
"You really think so?" Kurt's mood changed abruptly, and he was grinning up at Finn with shining eyes. Finn nodded slowly.
"Yeah, totally."
Without a word, Kurt leaned up and pressed a sloppy kiss to Finn's lips, giggling all the while. "Well, thank you, kind sir."
Finn blinked a couple of times, looking totally confused, then said, "That wasn't as weird as I thought it would be…"
And then their lips were together again, desperate and sloppy and tinged with tequila and cheap beer. Kurt's hands tugged desperately at Finn's hair, and Finn gripped the smaller boy's hips roughly.
Kurt pushed back, looking utterly debauched. "Wait, wait, wait. Finn, stop."
"Why?" It came out as a whine, and Finn latched on to Kurt's neck.
"Because you're straight. And I have a boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure I like him more than you."
"Lame." Their mouths met again, hot and needy. It was Finn who broke away this time.
"Wait, you're right. I am straight."
Kurt snorted. "I'm always right."
They fell silent for a bit, Finn trying to figure out what just happened and Kurt trying to figure out the easiest way to kill Finn before he interacted with Blaine again. Finally, Finn spoke.
"I…sorry for eating your face, dude."
"It's okay. It was a mutual face-eating."
"Is this what being gay feels like?"
"Drunk?"
"Yeah."
"No."
"Oh."
Out of nowhere, Kurt punched Finn's shoulder. "Ow!" Finn yelped, nearly tumbling out of the bed. "What was that for?"
"You just made me cheat on my boyfriend!" Kurt punched him again, then crossed his arms and pouted. "He's the only one I've got."
Finn blinked and rubbed his shoulder. "I think…I think that's how boyfriends work…" He sounded unsure.
Tears pooled in Kurt's eyes. "I just…I don't wanna lose him, and if he knows I cheated on him-"
Finn wrapped his arms around his brother's shoulders, forgetting that said brother had just punched him. "You're drunk and I'm straight and I swear I won't tell him. We'll just…never bring up tonight again."
"Okay. Deal." Kurt still sounded upset, so Finn rested his head on the boy's shoulder and started humming.
"Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes. Come on and come to me now…" Finn sang, nuzzling his nose against Kurt's jaw. "I'll stand by you."
Kurt laughed weakly. "Remember when you sang that? When we were partnered up for the ballad assignment?"
Finn smiled. "Yup." A pause. "I meant what I said at the wedding, Kurt. I know I haven't been the best brother, and I know that I've sort of…been scared of you, but I got you man. I love you."
Kurt wiped his eyes. "I love you, too." He kissed the top of Finn's head. "No homo."
Finn did fall out of the bed that time, but from laughing so hard. Kurt pulled him back up, and they collapsed back together under the sheets, in hysterics. There they fell asleep together, and there they were discovered by Burt and Carole the next morning, when the couple returned from their trip to Columbus.
Though they never, ever spoke of the incident again (except for an awkward episode in college where Kurt spent the night in Finn's bed after being sexiled from his own dorm room), but the effects of the night stayed with them for the rest of their lives. They were closer, more comfortable, and while their brotherhood (bromance, according to Finn) was a tad bit unorthodox, they made it work.
If you asked anyone in glee club, they would tell you that Furt was born the night Burt and Carole got married.
If you asked Kurt or Finn, though, they'd just blush and tell you that Furt was truly created one night when tequila was involved. Or just change the subject. You never knew with those boys.