Well, I have been toying with this idea for a while, and here it is. I find Cas and Dean completely adorable, but they are relatively hard to write about, considering Dean's taste for busty asian beauties. Yet, here it is.
Please forgive grammar. I hope you enjoy.
Joining
He could swear he had seen a different light in deep blue eyes. A fire he had not seen before. It lasted less than a second, but Dean was good at reading people – and even though he was not sure if he could call an angel a person, he as sure as hell knew Castiel.
Which was the reason for his curiosity, actually. There weren't many things on earth that could change the look in Cas' eyes… and… Dean just had never thought that Jo passing by waving her blond hair would be one of them.
They were on a meeting at Bobby's. Dean, Sam, Jo, Helen, Rufus and as many hunters as they managed to call. It was time to gather everyone and prepare to fight. It had been hard to convince Castiel to come, but the angel had agreed in the end, after a fine hour of convincement work from the older Winchester brother – in the end, Cas simply sighed and raised his hands in the air in defeat, but made a point of adding that they were losing time, that he was more useful out there, gathering information.
A part of Dean thought that he was right, that Cas, being the only supernatural being on their side, should not be spent with hours of discussion between hunters. Specially because he knew that either the others would not appreciate his presence and manners, or the angel himself would be highly displeased by so many of them arguing and loosing precious time, probably both – truth was that Castiel didn't have many patience with any human other then him, sometimes Bobby and vice-versa.
Still, another part of him – a big one – wanted them to see the angel. The angel that fought on their side, on his side. The angel that had defied orders from his superiors because he believed in Dean.
It was probably a silly thing, to show Cas off like a prize, but Dean knew that deep down most of them thought that all that Apocalypse crap was the Winchesters' fault – not that they were exactly wrong – and somehow he thought that having an Angel of the Lord by his side proved he was not just a failed hunter. Cas had chosen to aid him instead of standing with his heavenly brothers, that had to show all of them something meaningful.
(Deep inside Dean begins to wonder if the angel's presence being so important isn't already meaningful in a whole different way, because, really, during the last couple of months since the big bad guy had been set free, he just couldn't recall not thinking if Cas would be too far away when he was not with them.)
The first encounter had been awkward, for both sides. Dean felt like he could cut the tension with knife, so dense it was. Hunters were not exactly big fans of the 'oh so heavenly' host… Most of them had fought against Hell their entire lives and never had a single help from up there, and now, when those flying bastards finally decide to show their feathered asses is to begin Armageddon and destroy the Earth. He had not really expected them to look at Castiel with anything less than a mixture of fear and resentment. And the angel was not exactly helpful when it came to socialization.
Nevertheless, he had not expected that brief and powerful thing on those deep blue eyes.
They had been waiting for a few more hunters to arrive so they could start the meeting and in the meanwhile Helen and Jo had taken Bobby's kitchen into their own hands, arranging food and drink for everyone. Castiel for his turn had been simply standing by the window, silent and still, his mind clearly very far away from there. Until Jo went to him, that is.
Unlike most of the present hunters, she had not looked so harshly at the angel, and was polite enough to go to him and offer him a beer.
"Guess that for a fugitive angel just one beer isn't the worst of sins, huh?" she smirked at him, truly trying to be nice.
Castiel looked at her and Dean saw it. A quick and powerful fire before the angel turned his head to the window.
"No, thank you." Was his answer. Something clearly restrained in his voice.
Jo didn't mind it much, she snorted silently, waving her head and left for Bobby's waiting hand at the other side of the room. So, as soon as she turned, Castiel's eyes – no longer with that strange light but still intense as always – were on her back, following her walk around the room.
Dean could not say he was comfortable with that. The fact that he couldn't tell what was going on in Cas' mind sent him on edges.
(The fact that he felt slightly jealous made him grow suspicious of himself, and the object of his jealousy wasn't any more tranquilizing.)
A few moments passed and Dean was still uncomfortable with what he had seen. Firstly, Cas in love would be distracted and fragile. The guy was a virgin! He barely knew what to do about sex, imagine what a disaster it would be if he suddenly decided to go full-on Nicholas Cage on Jo.
(Secondly, Dean barely survived a week without Cas showing up to smite some demons and save their asses. What would happen if the angel spent more time saving the Harvelles'asses? Come on… he was the Sword of Michael… that had to give him some priority, right? He had to be more important to Cas, right? Right?)
"Dude, did you see Cas a few moments ago?" he had to ask Sam. He was feeling suffocated with those confusing considerations in his head. Sam always could tell when Dean was seeing things that were not really there.
"You mean that flames-of-heaven stare? Not only me. I guess Jo saw it too, she was right in front of him after all." Sam answered, apparently not giving much thought to it. Perhaps he hadn't realized the consequences!
"Oh, man… We don't need that now. It could be problematic." He whispered trying to keep control of himself, although he was not sure why exactly he was starting to freak out.
Sam looked at him half surprised.
"Hn. Interesting. You're calmer than I thought you would be." He said before finishing his beer.
"You're kidding, right? I'm about to go nuts here. I—We, I mean, we can't have Cas all horny for Jo now. It would be—"
Whatever else Dean was about to say was lost when Sam suddenly started laughing. It was weird. His brother was laughing like something he had said was funny. And great, now everyone was looking at them!
"Are you serious?" Sam managed to ask in the middle of his laughter.
"What do you mean, of course I'm serious!" Dean whispered more exasperated "We'll be in serious trouble if Cas perform City of Angels right now."
"Yeah, right. Of course."
"Dude! What the hell is so funny?"
Still chuckling, Sam put a hand on his brother's shoulder and pulled him aside a bit more.
"Dean, Cas is not attracted for Jo. He is jealous."
And what nonsense was Sam speaking now? Everyone knew Jo was single. Hell, Dean had way more reason to be jealous! Who did the girl think she was to seduce his angel? (And he was trying very hard not to acknowledge the fact that he had actually thought that.)
"Jealous? Of what?"
Sam sighed.
"Dean… Cas knows that Jo used to hit on you."
"Yeah, so?"
Sam sighed one more time and just looked at him with that face he always did when Dean was being slow. And then it hit him. Hit him hard and shockingly and… pleasantly?
Dean looked at Cas from the corner of his eyes, and found the angel staring back at him. Could it be? Could Cas really… Why would someone – an angel, no less… hell, even Jo had already given up on him, a long ago.
By his side, he heard Sam chuckle and leave him to his wondering. And it really was all that Dean could do at that moment, to wonder, surprised at that realization and at his own reaction to it.
(And to secretly fear, and to – even more – secretly hope. To hope that he was not imagining things, that he would not ruin things like he had before. What would Cas think about it? Just because he was jealous it didn't mean he knew he was. In the end Dean had to be fair, it didn't matter who was the centre of the angel's affections, it would make him vulnerable either way.)
After all that, the meeting had gone practically blank for Dean. Sam and Bobby did most of the talking. Rufus and Helen had done most of the questioning. No one even dared to ask a thing to Castiel, and the angel probably preferred that way. In the end, both the Winchesters were not sure if the meeting had been advantageous in any way – unless you counted Dean's big discovery, of course. Every one had gone home with promises of doing their tasks and spreading the word, and soon the brothers were alone with Bobby.
Late at night, laid in the sofa, Dean was not at all surprised to hear the ruffling of wings. That's not to say he was ready to face Cas alone, not when he still was in a bit of a daze himself that he was getting into that kind of situation with angel. (That had to mean he was going back to hell, right? That was wrong even for his standards.)
"I thought you would be awake." Said Cas with that tone of awkwardness in his voice, as if apologizing for his lack tact with the human nature.
"Yeah… So, what did you think of tonight?"
"It was useless as I thought it would be. But I could see that there are people out there besides us that are working with the same goal, that part was good."
"I know what you mean. Makes me feel a little better too."
"And, Rufus is… funny. In a way." Cas added a second later, with that little shy smile in the corner of his mouth, to sign that he was beginning to understand a few concepts of the human humour. Dean chuckled in return, (but he was still trembling inside – the damn angel was just too cute when he did that!)
A silent pause followed, and in his gut Dean knew that there was something that Cas wanted to say to him, and it was hard to look at the (his) angel in the face.
"I didn't like Joanna, however." The sentence was expelled with that blunt honesty that only Castiel had, and suddenly Dean was divided into anxiety and… and that thing that makes people think and act strangely. And to think that a few hours before he was freaking out at the notion that Cas had the hots for Jo… Don't get him wrong, he was relieved that was not the case, but this other option wasn't any more easier.
"Oh… well, she is a nice girl. You ought to give her another chance."
"Will you?"
The question was shot back so immediately and straightforward and Cas had that light in his eyes again… Dean was mute for a second. He chuckled nervously.
"What? What do you mean?"
"I know that she loved you before. And she has dreams of you and her naked in a bed, sometimes. Other times you are on the—"
"Wow wow! Cas! Hold on a second. You invaded Jo's mind?"
"I… might have flown through there."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because she looks at you differently." Then, he turned his head down, as if a puppy ashamed of his mess "She looks at you the way I do. And it bothers me."
And there it was. The elephant had officially gotten up from the corner and walked right to the middle of the room.
Dean sighed, scratching his head. You see, he was happy that he would not need to throw all that 'I'm Michael's sword' speech at Cas, but this… he didn't know how to do this. It was not supposed to happen this way. He had always (hoped, but he would never teel anyone that) thought that one day after they had defeated Lucifer, Cas would come to him and they would have some cutesy crap chick flick moment and then it would all be scenes prohibited for kids – show each other paradise and all that, you get the meaning.
"Look, Cas…" he had no idea what to say! He was not Meg Ryan! (Although, he probably was, given their situation.) And then, a thought occurred to Dean. "You can get into my head, right?"
"I thought you didn't like me to do that." He answered, inclining his head slightly to the side, his classic sign of confusion.
"Yes, well… today is different. I need you to understand something that I don't know how to tell you… so I think it's better if we just solve this right now. Voyeur into my mind and let's get on with it."
For a few minutes neither of them said anything. They just stared into each other's eyes and Dean began to wonder if Cas would actually do it, or if he really would have to speak word for word how complicated things were for them.
"Dean."
"Yes?"
"Who is Nicholas Cage? What does this man has to do with us?"
The hunter was caught by surprise for a moment. He knew Cas was fast, but to see even his crazy metaphors with chick flick movies he had to be really thorough – or not so much, it was Dean's head, after all, you can't really get lost in there. Things are simple inside his mind: right, wrong, Cas, family and the stuff he would never figure out – like why Cas would care for him in any way other than a friend.
"Of all the things you see in my mind, that's the only question that you have?"
"I saw that you worry about me. I saw that you don't want me to throw my wings away for you because you love me, but you don't feel like you're good enough for me."
Dean blushed as he heard that, he had never really spoken out loud – not even in his head – and Cas said with such easiness.
"I saw that you didn't like me to look at Jo. And I saw that you sometimes has dreams of the flesh between you and me."
For that, Dean didn't find in himself to be embarrassed. He had never denied that enjoyed everything his body could give, and he would not apologize for dreaming of it with Cas (he was most likely with a guaranteed one-way ticket to hell, anyway).
"And I saw that you worry that I might act like Nicholas Cage, but I don't know who he is."
Hearing an angel of the Lord speaking that was a bit funny, and reasonably cute when this angel was Cas. But Dean was almost sure that Castiel would take his time to grasp the meaning of a Hollywood movie, so he chose to deal with more pressing matters.
"Just tell me something. Is there any risk of you falling of grace if we do this?"
"Not while I can't be sure that you're safe from my brothers. I left heaven and I still retain some of my powers, I suppose that… joining… with you won't have any negative effects on my abilities."
To the sound of the word 'joining', so awkward and uncertain in Cas' lips, Dean had to smile. If his angel was safe, than it was time for them to do some 'joining'.
He pulled Cas through his Columbo cosplay and kissed him. Chapped lips tried to move hesitantly with his own, and Dean gladly guided the angel through his first dance of bodies, their first 'joining'. He smiled in the middle of the kiss and pulles Cas to lay down with him.
"Should I make sure that Sam and Bobby don't wake up?" Cas asked, truly innocent, looking at him with confused puppy dog eyes.
Dean chuckled. "Probably."
They joined, all right. And the next time Cas met with Jo, he even smiled to her.
Thank you for reading. Review if you feel like it.
seafox
