a/n: Well, this is my first Fruits Basket fic… :p I just love Yuki and Ayame and therefore, this came through! Haha! Sorry for the typos and other complain-able stuff! :p
Worst Fear: "I'm Sorry"
"Fighting is better than nothing…"
I never want the time to come when you wouldn't acknowledge me anymore. I never intended to shun you away, it never occurred to me how much it had hurt you. But please, never turn away…
…don't shun me away…
…shout at me, be angry…
…anything would do…
…just please, don't ignore me…
…'coz that, my dearest brother…
…is what I fear the most…
oOo Fruits Basket oOo
"Yuki…"
Rain poured on the two figures amongst the reign of chaos surrounding them. He had held him in his arms, something he'd never thought he would do for the life of him. He had mixed emotions on what to feel on the matter at hand; he felt numb, whether from happiness or fear, he did not know.
He had to be happy right? This person would finally be gone like he wished. That was what he had constantly told himself and everyone: he wanted him dead. He wanted him to be miserable, to get off the face of the earth. He never wanted to see his face if possible. This person knew all these things, yet…
"Why?"
This was all he could say to the figure he held. His hands clasped the long, silky hair together with his red outfit. Not really knowing what to do, he continued to hug fervently, not wanting to let go. As much as he tried to deny it, he did care for him. As much as he said he wanted him dead, he wanted to feel affection from him.
He heard the man laugh weakly. It angered him that he could still laugh in this situation, the fool. His eyes widened, anger swept away as he heard the words he never thought would ever come out of his mouth…
"Because you're my little brother…"
oOo Fruits Basket oOo
Yuki Sohma never did pay any attention to his older brother's childish remarks, knowing he would never come to understand them. It was a futile attempt to even just think about why his brother was too weird. He had that air of utter arrogance and had the knack of exaggerating things.
He had always said he wanted Ayame dead, that he wanted for the older Sohma to be gone and never come back. Now it occurred to him that maybe, just maybe… the reason he was able to say those things and, probably, fool everyone including himself that he hated the man more that Kyo, was because he never thought it would actually happen…
But now, here it was... his long, unfulfilled, half-hearted request…
Who was he kidding? The truth was that he didn't hate Ayame as much as said he did. He probably hated the man for not being there when Akito was torturing him, when he needed his brother to lean on to more than anything in the world, but as much as he can comprehend right now, that wasn't really enough a reason to want him dead. He is his brother after all…
He was probably just scared of being shunned away once more, that he distanced himself from him. He didn't want to feel hurt like he did then, his brother turning away from him when he had no one. He could've gone to anyone then, to Haru, to Shigure, or maybe even Hatori, but he still chose Ayame because he was his brother and he was the person Yuki last thought to push him away…
…but the person he trusted the most was the one who evaded him when he tried to lean on…
oOo Fruits Basket oOo
As much as he hated him for pushing him away, for some reason, he never had the will to completely shun him away. Maybe that was because he still had that little bit of hope that things could be fixed, that things could become right between them. But of course, he never gave it a chance. Probably because of pride? Or because he didn't want to risk Ayame pushing him away again after they make up. Who knows? But that was what happened and there's nothing he can do to change it.
Yet, as he feared for history to repeat itself, his brother was constantly wishing to have the chance to change it and here they were. He was busy trying to run away from his stupid brother's antics and a car practically came speeding towards him. It couldn't stop because the streets were wet due to the rain. Before he knew it, he was shoved onto the filthy, wet ground with an unwanted weight on top of him. The car ran away, but he could deal with it later. Right now, he had to do something about this silver-haired idiot who was supposed to be his brother.
Pathetic was how he would describe him, if only the reasons were different. He laid his brother down on his lap and slapped his face a bit so he would wake up. Rain poured on both of them. He looked into those golden eyes, yes. Definitely pathetic…
"It makes me happy to see that you care," he silver-haired man said, smiling, "look, you're crying"
"I'm not… it's just… it's just the rain…" Yuki said as he tried his best not to let his voice quiver and his body tremble.
Ayame nodded weakly, "yes, probably" he looked at his younger brother's face sadly, tears dancing around the brim of his eyes. "Yuki, I'm sorry…"
"For what exactly?"
"For not being with you when you needed me. Believe me, if I could return to that moment myself, I wouldn't hesitate to stay by your side and maybe even kill Akito myself… but I can't… I never paid heed to you or notice your need of me, and I regret that…"
Yuki didn't respond, he just looked at Ayame, eyes clouded. "But I'm glad…" the older Sohma muttered. "Hn?" Yuki let out in confusion.
Ayame held out his hand to wipe his brother's unseen tears. "Because not once did you completely ignore me. You always responded. However bitter your words to me are, it made me happy that at the very least, you acknowledge me. Even if you did hate me…"
"If I could've been there to wipe your tears away… to take every blow in your place… to be your brother… I wonder, would it turn out this way?"
Yuki looked at his older brother reluctantly, regret, guilt, sadness, panic and a bunch of unnamed emotions danced through the prince's eyes. He put his older brother to the ground and was about to stand up and run for help but a hand stopped him in his tracks.
He looked back and saw his brother looking at him pleadingly. This was the very first time he saw his proud, arrogant older brother like this. He never imagined it would come to this. Emotions tend to burst from him, "Please don't leave, Yuki… I promise to be a good brother from now on, so please…"
Despite the rain, Yuki could see that his brother was crying. He caressed Ayame's hair, "I'm not! I'm just going to get help!" Yuki snapped gently. Ayame shook his head and with that, Yuki was surprised.
"Let me have my last moments with you alone, my dearest brother. I need to tell you things… things I don't want to be left unsaid…"
Yuki's eyes widened. He was talking as if he's… No! He won't allow it! "You can tell me all those things after you get better, darn it!" he cursed. Ayame smiled softly. He gently tugged his younger brother into an embrace. Yuki could feel warm liquid damp his arms, probably Ayame's blood.
"I don't want you to die… I… I'm not… going to let you die just like that…" Yuki said, his voice starting to break, tears finally falling from his eyes. He felt Ayame shake his head in disagreement. "It's fine this way…
…me knowing you do care and you don't hate me made my life complete…
…there's nothing more I'd want but for you to be the last one to see my final glorious smile…
…and Yuki…?"
"Hn?"
Ayame hugged him even closer, "I'm sorry… for pushing you away…" Yuki was surprised. Now, he was torn to fulfilling his brother's final wish and to calling for help. He cursed, "This won't be your last, you fool." Yuki said as he carried Ayame and started to run to somewhere he thought could make him better. Where? Where should he go for help?
Hatori! Of course, Hatori would know what to do! The Sohma estate was near here, he could go there. Hatori should be there, with Akito, he thought bitterly. Well, he'd have to think about that later. Right now, he needed to get this fool healed. He ran and ran, his brother's silver hair swaying through the wind that passed through them. He heard him laugh a snort. Yuki looked at him to see him smiling. "I never imagined that you would go as far as this for a worthless brother like me…" he muttered, eyes closed. Yuki's from grew as panic tried to overcome his systems. Stay calm! He ordered himself.
"Neither did I." he replied while panting. He ran and ran. "Yuki, you should stop. You weren't that healthy to begin with." Ayame said as he clutched his brother's jacket, coughing out blood. He muttered a soft sorry but he just ignored it. He'll be sorry about a lot of other things later. Yuki ran faster as he spotted the gates of the Sohma estate, "I'll stop when we find Hatori and get your stupid wound to stop bleeding!" he snapped with ragged breathes. He practically kicked the huge gates open and ran inside, not bothering to close them. Someone else could do that. He ran and spotted Momiji.
"Momiji!" he called. Momiji looked at their direction with a smile but it faded as soon as it came when he saw Ayame in Yuki's arms. Something must've happened. "What happened!?" he called back. Yuki panted, "Call Hatori, quickly!" he shouted as he went inside the closest house to them. He laid Ayame on a bed and wiped the blood away from his mouth and his forehead. "You'll be alright. Hatori's on the way…" he said as he panted heavily. Not ever has he run that fast in his entire life, not even in that marathon he and Kyo participated in. Ayame smiled once more. Yuki could only stop himself from reprimanding his brother to not smile like that when he was dying.
"Who are you trying to convince?" he asked with his usual arrogant tone, only softer. Before Yuki could comprehend the question, the door opened and Hatori came striding in.
"What happened?" he demanded as he checked Ayame's wounds. They were critical but Yuki probably had enough common sense to stop the bleeding with a cloth. It wasn't as bad as it could've been. Yuki had left the room, leaving Hatori to tend to his brother's wounds.
He leaned against the wall, pondering on Ayame's question.
"Who are you trying to convince?"
Had he been himself, he would've snapped that he was not convincing anyone but was informing him. But he couldn't answer…
…because he was convincing someone…
…and that someone was himself…
oOo Fruits Basket oOo
Yuki laid on the bed with his head pounding hard.
How in the hell did things become like this?!
He asked for the millionth time that day. It's only been three days since the accident and Hatori saw through it that the one who hit Ayame was caught. He's treated Ayame already, and there he was… blabbing about how he was touched by his baby brother's selfless act of love towards him. He's been saying this since he got there. It included pointing out that Yuki did love him very much – which the amethyst-eyed man profusely denied, as much as he could at his weakened state.
He groaned as his head pounded more.
Ayame snorted, "See, I told you to stop then. You aren't as strong as you seem. Oh, but you did it because you love me, admit it Yuki!" he practically sang. Yuki's eyes narrowed, maybe he shouldn't have saved this big buffoon. How in the hell did things turn out this way anyways!? Ayame was supposed to be the one in bed and he was supposed to be the one sitting by the bed, sitting quietly. Now why in the hell was he the one in bed, with Ayame beside him, all bandaged up but otherwise healthy, being the noisy, intimidating guy he is. How could he be just dying a few days ago and healthier than he was now!?
It suddenly became silent and that made Yuki look at his companion.
He was smiling again. "What?" he asked, a bit taken aback at the sudden silence and the weird smile. Ayame stood up from the chair and sat on the bed. He brushed his younger brother's locks gently…
"Thank you…"
Yuki's eyes widen but he forced them to return to how they usually were and avoided his brother's gaze. This made Ayame smile more, "So then!" he started once more, this time, louder. "Admit that you love onii-san!!" he sang. Hatori heard him and pushed him out of the room, telling him to let Yuki rest. The door closed with a soft click as Ayame's protests died completely. Yuki turned towards the door and smirked. He turned around, getting ready for sleep to take over…
"Who knows? Maybe I do…" he muttered, not believing it himself. But hey! It wasn't like he was going to admit that in front of that arrogant snake's face.
oOo Fruits Basket oOo
Outside, Ayame's eyes grew wide at the soft statement. Did he hear that right? Hatori noted this, "Shouldn't you be happy?" Ayame looked at Hatori and smiled, genuinely.
"Yes. You wouldn't believe how happy I am…"
"Don't do anything to change his mind."
"Hai!"
"And don't bother him while he rests…"
Ayame never did respond to that.
oOo Fruits Basket oOo
a/n: What!? Anyways, a poor attempt to get them to make up or something… :D
Any comments? Review please!