Summary: Kel is having second thoughts at the end of the First Test. Will some very strange conversations convince her to stay. Warning chapters will be short and is only four chapter long there is a sequel.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any characters that are recognized as a character from Tamora Pieces books.

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'Walking down the halls of the palace I had realized that maybe Joren was right; maybe I just wasn't cut out for knighthood. I was only eleven I mean come on what do I know about what I will want in the future?'

'What if it was no longer the life I wanted, what then? I would be stuck with being a knight because it is a life time commitment.'

'Sure Wylden had let me stay, but should I? "Neal," I said to my best friend who sat upon my bed, "I don't know if I should continue my knights training."

Neal seemed to think this over. "Well Kel it is your decision as to whether or not to continue, just don't let the words of others make you decision for you."

"I wont Neal, its just that if I got tired of being a knight someday I would be unable to just up and stop being one." I explained in answer to Neal's unasked question.

"Kel it is your decision. I will support you no matter what that decision is, just as the rest of our friends will, (I hope)." Neal said this last part under his breath. But before that it was as soothing and philosophical as it normally was.

Joren who happened to be walking by at this particular moment stopped and stared dazedly at the wall opposite of him, 'The lump gone?' He thought. Just thinking it made it seem ridiculous.

Gracefully gliding towards the open doorway of the "Lumps" room Joren leaned on the door frame. "So the lump has given up has she." Joren drawled.

"I haven't given up I have merely made a tactful retreat." I replied to the blonde haired, blue eyed heir of Stone Mountain. "Besides I know you wont miss me; even if you did the only reason you would is because the only one (me) to be able to contest with you is gone."

Joren's eyes had flashed briefly with hurt. 'Damn you Mindelin, you know nothing about me do you.' "You cannot leave you know."

"Oh and why is that?" I asked skeptically with both eyebrows raised above my hazel eyes.

"Because you, after a year of struggle against those of us who think that girls don't belong here, and you finally gained what you wanted and now you want to leave? Though now you are going to give it up because sometime in the future you may come to resent it as time passes. What of all the other girls who want to become knights? What will they think when the only known female page gives into pressure?" Joren argued this before he finally stopped talking.

"Since when did you care if I became a knight. Since when did you care about would be female knights? Was it not you that encouraged me to leave from the very beginning?" I shot back annoyed by the fact that he would not leave me alone.

Joren stiffened at my words. "I care because it was not me to send you back home to your parents, instead of becoming a knight." With that Joren left. (Neal left when Joren showed up.)