How Angel Saved the World Without Really Realizing It (Again)
By Vega

Inspired by a conversation with TVNergirl

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Fandom: "Harry Potter", post-"Order of the Phoenix"/ "Angel", mid-season five
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Genre: Comedy

Angel sat at his desk, doing his best to look Imposing and Grim.

Sitting across from what appeared to be a living, breathing cloak, it was hard. Oh, Angel knew there was a person – thing – inside the cloak, but all he could see of it were two bony hands with long, spindly fingers. The fingers were interlaced in front of the shadow, which ought to have held the non-visible mouth

Angel had heard rumours that this creature had once been human.

Hearing his rasping hiss of a voice, seeing the wide red eyes blink in the darkness of the hood, seeing the scaly green tint of the skin, Angel thought that the rumours might have been lies. This man was definitely more snake than human.

It gave Angel the heebie geebies.

Not much gave the two hundred plus Immortal, Killer of Thousands, Champion of the Light, the Souled One, the heebie geebies.

Snakes were one of those things.

It went back to his father. His father had hid a little emerald snake in his bed when Liam was five and snakes had given him the creepy crawly heebie geebies since.

Luckily, Spike didn't know, or he'd never hear the end of it.

The snake-man was talking and Angel did his best to catch himself up on the conversation.

"You sssseeee," the man hissed and Angel repressed a skin-crawling shudder and tried to look Mean and Unimpressed, mixed with a little bit of Broody. "You'll agree, it really issssn't my fault. You cannot blame me."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Mr… uh…" he double checked the folder under his hands, "Riddle. Mr. Riddle, there's really nothing we can do about it. You have failed to pay your fees to the firm for almost sixteen years."

"I wasssss… unavailable."

"Being incorporeal is no excuse. Our other disembodied clients manage to pay their fees."

The cloak's hands slammed down on the arms of the chair and Riddle shoved himself to his feet. "Thisss is unacceptable! The Sssssenior Partnersss cannot posssssibly condone thissss ridiculoussss bill! Ssssixssssteen yearsssss worth of retainersssss feessss!"

Finally! The Part where Angel Knew what to Do. "I don't answer to the Senior Partners," he said, rising from his own chair. Under the desk, he flexed a fist around the hilt of his sword. He liked this Part.

"Inssssolensssse!"

Angel scowled and shuddered all over. "Stop purposefully using 's' words!" He swung up quickly with the sword and that was that.

The head that fell out of the cape had a face that was indeed more snake than human looking and Angel's case of the heebie geebies intensified. He dropped his sword on the desk, grabbed the folder, and ran out into the lobby.

"Hey, Boss man!" Harmony chirruped from behind her desk and he shook himself all over to divest himself of the creepy feeling. "How'd the meeting with the Dark Lord go?"

Angel frowned and dropped the folder onto her desk. "Taken care of."

Harmony flashed him a brilliant if vacant smile. "See, now, Boss? Doesn't it feel better to take Care of people, instead of, you know, chopping their heads off and stuff?"

Angel allowed himself a small grin. "Yeah. Yeah it does."

Somewhere on the other side of the planet, a young boy sat up in bed from a strange nightmare about a vampire and an Evil law firm and touched his forehead.

His scar was gone.

"About damn time," he muttered to himself, laying back down and burying his face in the pillow. "Gotta love Red Tape."

END