The Little Child in the Maid Dress
"Acknowledge me."
"No."
"Why?"
"Why should I?"
"Because I am you."
Silence.
"No."
"Why not? You can't leave your own self. I demand it!"
"It's final, you should leave."
He was determined to leave. It was that all over again. The pain was starting to wrench in his heart and he simply cannot take it anymore. He turned his back on the little child wearing the maid dress, and started to leave.
"You still love him, don't you?"
Feliciano Vagas was wide-eyed. The Holy Roman Empire. He'd promise him that he'd come back. Yet where is he now? Grandpa Rome died. Luciano hates him. And if it wasn't for Ludwig and the others, where would he be now? He slowly faced the child, his younger self, trying to not let the tears fall.
"He promised both of us." He quietly said.
Feli wasn't usually like this. He was usually holding a wooden spoon, brewing a fresh pot of tomato sauce for his pasta. He'd thank Luciano later for the fresh tomatoes. He was usually smiling, being carefree. He was usually drawing things, the way Grandpa Rome taught him to. He wasn't this serious, he wasn't this hurt.
"He promised the both of us. And here you are asking me of something you know very well I cannot do." Feliciano, Northern Italy, remarked, the hurt, prominently etched in his voice.
"I just want to be acknowledged. Is that so difficult to do? For you to know that somehow you're still alive even though someone might have already forgotten you?" Chibitalia retorted, his once bright eyes were clouded with pain and misery, much like his older self. He was a child, and whether or not he could get away with tears, it didn't matter. All he wanted was for someone to remember him, someone to actually make him feel alive, make him feel that he existed. And when his older self can't even look at him straight in the eye, he might as well joined The Holy Roman Empire to war, so that at least he might have died happy, knowing that he was by his side.
"Do you know how it feels like to be forgotten?" Chibitalia asked.
Feli couldn't look at him straight in the eye. Yes, it was given that Chibitalia was his younger self, but he just can't get back to the pain, the hurt, the betrayal. He thought that The Holy Roman Empire was his ally, amidst his bullies when Grandpa Rome wasn't there to protect him. He thought that he would come back. He'd lost count at the days he'd spend alone, perched at the front window, crying, wishing, for him to come back.
That was years ago, and since then he never made wishes.
Both of them were crying now. Feli didn't realize it, but he wa sitting down, absently looking at Chibitalia's empty fist. The parting gift. Chibitalia also followed the lead of his older self, slumping on the floor.
"It isn't like us to be this down." Feli said, trying to make the both of them smile.
"I should have just gone with him to war, to become one with him. Then we'd both be happy, don't you think?"
Feliciano couldn't stop the tears anymore. Somewhere, he'd found the guts to look at his child self in full view. It was painful to remember all those times. His body was covered in bruises. He didn't even think of Lovino bullying him, but he did. His blank expression, and forced happy lines. His calloused hands, for the travelling he had done with Grandpa Rome. It was one of the happiest years in his life, but he was more delighted when he set his eyes on this childhood friend. His love.
"No, I don't"
Chibitalia was wide-eyed. He looked at his older self's eyes, as it was now looking at him. The tears were gone, but he thinks nothing in the world would take away the sadness in his eyes, in both their eyes. He was supposed to ask why, but he also understood. He might have been the one who disappeared. He might have seen The Holy Roman Empire de-. No. He is not dead. And Chibitalia knows that neither of them refuses to believe so, even if it hurts much more to cling to that small speck of hope that he might return to both their arms after so long.
Just then, Chibitalia's eyes grew wide. And his grief-stricken face was now with a smile.
'How could it be?' Feliciano wondered. And before he got the chance to asked Chibitalia, he got up and ran, towards him, and eventually passing him.
"You came back! You came back!" He screamed with joy, the tears suddenly flowing again.
Feliciano froze. After all these years he was back. Back from the war that ended over centuries ago. His heart froze, unable to distinguish if it would feel angry at him for taking so long, or so happy that he was finally there. But before he could do anything, he spoke.
"Italy? What are you doing there alone?"
He turned. It was Germany – Ludwig, hovering above him. He was in a meadow; he apparently fell asleep in the middle of training. And then it hit him. The sun kissed hair, the olive complexion, and the strikingly similar blue eyes. He smiled, and silently thanked the little child in the maid dress.
He was back all along.