I don't own Naruto. Because of my next reference, I should also mention I don't own Monty Python or any of its properties. And now for something completely different: a story.
Kakashi rushed along the near deserted city streets, trying to keep from being seen. Under his arm was a small, nondescript paper bag. Inside it was a solid, but slightly pliable object. The object in question was the cause of Kakashi's haste. He wanted to make sure no one saw it, be they civilians, off-duty shinobi, or, (especially) guards. Any one of them would have been more than happy to separate him from the priceless object he had tucked against his chest.
Whenever he spotted anyone who appeared to be a possible threat, Kakashi did all he could to disappear, even if it meant diving into alleys and covering himself with garbage bags. All that mattered was that Kakashi get the object out the city before anyone noticed it was gone.
Upon reaching the city walls, Kakashi stuffed the object into one of his pouches, and painstakingly climbed the wall. He listened carefully for any uproar coming from within the city, but no such disturbance ever arose. As soon as he reached the top, he climbed down the other side.
Once he was on the ground, he rushed into the forest, making his way towards the coastline. It was imperative that he get to the Secret Grove before nightfall. If he didn't, all his work would be for naught. Kakashi shuddered at the very idea. He pushed relentlessly through the foliage, jumping through trees so he could reach his goal faster. A thousand anxious thoughts fought for control of his mind. What if he failed? What if he was caught? What if he was too late?
"No," he thought to himself, "I will succeed, no matter the cost,"
Finally, his goal was in sight, and Kakashi doubled his pace so he could get there. With a carefully timed jump, he landed exactly in the middle of the Secret Grove, a circular clearing on the very edge of the forest. From this vantage point, he could clearly see the ocean. Cautiously, Kakashi surveyed his surroundings, careful not to miss a single detail. Once he was convinced he was alone, Kakashi pulled the brown bag out of the pouch he had placed it in earlier. He delicately pulled the bag open, and reached his hand inside. Looking like a small child stealthily retrieving an ice cream sandwich from the box while being careful not to damage the precious prize, Kakashi pulled out the object.
There it was. He had finally done it. He now had, in his possession, a first edition copy of "Konoha Nights," the most highly anticipated book since "An X Ranked Mission." Kakashi forced himself to remain calm and collected. It was difficult. As he prepared to open the book for the first time, his eye caught sight of an object in the distance. Worried over what it might be, Kakashi forced himself to take his attention off his priceless new treasure, and instead placed it on the offending seaborne object.
He did not have to look at it long to realize what it was. It was a boat. Currently, this boat was in the undesirable position of being stuck on a rock. It was also in the undesirable state of having been blown up. To Kakashi, it looked as though the explosion had been internal. Perhaps a bomb or a malfunctioning boiler. Either way, the damage to the large metal ship was extensive. Kakashi rapidly sealed his book in a black plastic bag, placed it one of his pouches again, and ran toward the beach.
What he found was not promising. Few crew members seemed to have managed to reach the shore. Eventually, Kakashi decided to check and see if any of them were breathing. The first one he chose to examine was the youngest looking member of the crew. While most of the crew wore simple black tunics, this one was wearing a long black coat. Kakashi thought it was a rather foolish choice of costume for a sailor. It was then that he noticed it: a medallion hanging from the boys neck. It a had symbol on it, but it was covered in sand.
As Kakashi reached out to grab the medallion and get a closer look, he felt someone grab his arm. He immediately searched for the perpetrator, and discovered a man on the ground next to the individual that formerly occupied his interest. This man was wearing a black tunic, much like the others. The man looked like he was in bad shape. Kakashi reached towards him instead.
"No!" He screamed, pointing now to the other individual, "Save him! Our master must be protected!"
Without delay, Kakashi did as he was told, "I will bring others back to save the rest of you,"
"All we desire is our master's safety! Ensure his survival, I beg of you!"
"We will do what we can," Kakashi said, and he dashed towards Konoha as fast as he could, his mind focused on trying to save at least of the unfortunate mariners.
***
Naruto walked through the Konoha hospital with his arms behind his heads. Unlike most of the building's current occupants, Naruto was there of his own free will. In fact, he was looking for someone. He had been searching for Sakura all day, and had decided that she must have been doing some manner of work at the hospital. Naruto, being a sensible young man, had decided that he should search the hospital room by room until he found her. Though his methods had not yet achieved the desired result, Naruto was certain that he would not have wait much longer before he found her. At that point, he could tell her all about the half-price ramen special at Ichiraku's, and the brilliant idea it had given him. In fact, in honor of the occasion, he had washed his blond hair, ensuring that it was both shiny and smooth. He thought he had heard somewhere that women liked guys with hair that was shiny and smooth.
Humming cheerfully as he walked through the hallways, peering into the rooms of sick and miserable people, Naruto was startled to hear shouting coming from one of the rooms.
"RELEASE ME NOW YOU MUDAKS! STOP POKING ME WITH THAT! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHERE I AM, WHO YOU ARE, AND WHY YOU HAVE INSISTED ON PUTTING ME IN THIS ABSURD ATIRE!" yelled one voice.
"Please calm down sir, this is all for your own good!" came another.
The original voice then responded, "I DON'T CARE HOW BLOODY GOOD FOR ME YOU THINK IT IS YOU SVOLOCH!"
With a loud crash, a medical ninja smashed through the door and slammed into the wall. Emerging from the room was an outlandish looking young man, who Naruto assumed couldn't have been any older than he was. The boy had black hair and thin, ice blue eyes. Combined with his rather skinny frame and pale skin, the boy looked sickly and weak. In contradiction of his weak appearance, the boy was holding another medical ninja in the air, by the neck. Without any delay, the boy smashed the medic head-first against the wall, and released the now unconscious shinobi.
Naruto stood stock still from the shock. The Kyuubi had also suddenly made itself highly alert. It didn't feel endangered by any stretch of the imagination, but it could sense something that it didn't like about this patient.
"YOU!" the boy shouted after spotting Naruto, "WHERE ARE MY MEN? WHO ARE YOU? WHERE AM I? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?"
Naruto backed away cautiously. He didn't want any trouble, and he certainly didn't want to beat up a hospital patient.
The boy marched resolutely toward Naruto, demanding answers to his questions. Suddenly, he stumbled, and fell to his knees. Naruto's caution had appeared to pay off.
"That...Mudak...tranquilized...me," the boy growled softly, clearly trying to regain control of his senses.
Naruto heard footsteps coming down the hallway. A group of medical ninja, led by Sakura, were rushing forward to carry the sedated patient back to his bed, as well as see to the health of their comrades.
"Hey Sakura..."
"Not now Naruto!" she yelled as she carried the still struggling patient inside.
Crestfallen, Naruto turned around and walked back the way he had come. He was certain he could hear Sakura punch the problematic patient. The fact that the no more loud sounds were coming out of the room seemed to support this theory.
"Well," Naruto thought, "at least I'll be able to have some ramen by myself,"
He was supremely annoyed when he felt the Kyuubi attempting to communicate. It wasn't a taunt or an escape attempt as far as Naruto could tell. The Kyuubi apparently wanted to genuinely want to speak with him. Naruto decided to speak with the demon sealed within him, since the day could hardly get worse.
"Yes?" Naruto asked.
The Kyuubi seemed concerned about something (odd behavior for a demon), "That boy back there wasn't normal,"
"Well, that was pretty obvious," Naruto replied annoyed.
"DON'T SCOFF AT ME!" the Kyuubi snapped, "I DO NOT SPEAK OF THE OBVIOUS!"
Naruto sighed, already tired of the conversation, "Then what do you mean?"
The Kyuubi composed itself and continued. "There is something unusually dark about him. Be cautious in your dealings with him,"
"Is that all?" Naruto asked, impatient.
The Kyuubi seemed to be annoyed by Naruto's blatant disinterest, "Yes," he sighed.
Naruto broke off contact without another word. He didn't trust the Kyuubi as far he could throw him. Naruto walked out the hospital in search of Ichiraku's, hoping that eating ramen until the small hours had as good a comforting effect as booze supposedly did.
***
Tsunade stood in her office, looking out the window. She had wasted no time in organizing a rescue effort for the crew of the devastated ship, but there had only been seven survivors. According to the preliminary reports from the field, only twenty crewmen could be found, dead or alive. Given the ship's size, the rest of the crew must have been at the bottom of the ocean. Unless, of course, their crew size was a key cause of the aforementioned disaster. Either way, the reports from the hospital had not been good. The rescue mission had not taken long, but she had made the mistake of not guarding their hospital rooms. The patient Kakashi had retrieved first had attacked the medics attending him, and had to be heavily sedated before they could do a thorough examination. If this was a sample of how they generally behaved, then Tsunade might be forced to imprison them after their treatment was complete.
"Hokage!" Shizune yelled, running into Tsunade's office.
Tsunade turned around rapidly, "Is one of them conscious?"
"Yes, he is," Shizune replied.
"Is it the same one that attacked our medics?" Tsunade asked, a concerned look on her face.
"Yes, but he seems to be less volatile. He has been demanding to see you though. He's even threatening more violence if you don't speak with him soon," Shizune answered nervously.
"Is he the group's leader?"
"Kakashi said he seemed different from the others, and that one of their group referred to the boy as their master,"
Tsunade thought about the situation quickly, and about all possible ways of dealing with it. "Very well, I'll meet with him, right now. Run ahead and tell him, so he isn't tempted to make trouble.
Shizune bowed, acknowledged the command, and ran out of the room quickly.
Tsunade walked out of her office, preparing for her conversation with Konoha's new guest.
***
The first thing Tsunade noticed about the room as she entered was how cold the atmosphere was. Noticeable tension existed between the patient and those guarding him. The patient seemed to be examining his hosts, analyzing the situation he was in.
"Are you the leader of these people?" he asked without waiting for an introduction.
"Yes," Tsunade replied curtly, "Are you the leader of the ship's crew?"
"Yes,"
"Why did you attack my medics?" Tsunade demanded.
He glared at her, "Because they did not answer my questions. They simply responded by attempting to restrain and sedate me. The only way to prevent them from doing so was to attack them. I was concerned about myself and the men under my command. If you are honorable, then I'm sure you would do the same,"
"Why didn't you attack this time?"
"Because when I asked how my men were, they told me what seemed to be the truth,"
Tsunade pondered this for a moment before continuing the conversation, "Who are you, and where are you from?"
"Nicholas. Where I come from does not concern you. My homeland is a long distance from this place, and I no longer hold any social position there. Now tell me, who are you, and what is this place?"
Tsunade seemed reluctant to answer, but she chose to anyway, "My name is Tsunade, I am the Hokage of Konohagakure, a shinobi village located in the Land of Fire,"
Nicholas raised an eyebrow when he heard this, "A shinobi village? What does shinobi mean?"
"A powerful warrior. What were you and your men doing on that boat?" Tsunade clearly wanted to ensure the conversation was an even mixture of give and take. So far, she felt she had given more than enough.
Nicholas looked at her solemnly, "We were looking for someone. Someone lost,"
"A crew member?"
Nicholas thought for a second before replying, "Perhaps,"
Tsunade didn't like the way he operated. He seemed to sense her displeasure.
"You don't have to speak with me, the six others among my crew would be better at this diplomatic game you wish to play. In the meantime, I have much to think about. Do you have any sort of music player or," he paused, looking for a word to use "moving image display device?"
"You mean a video and/or audio player?"
"Exactly," he replied, smirking.
Tsunade wanted to beat more information out of the kid, but she didn't want to show hostility just yet. Perhaps if she allowed him a few "reasonable" luxuries, he would loosen his tongue. However, if he chose to be uncooperative after his crewmembers were conscious, then perhaps a bit of time with an interrogator would do the boy some good.
"Alright," she said, "I'll let you have what you want for now, but the moment two of your men are conscious, you will prepare one of them to continue our so-called game. We will be much less hospitable if you do not help us understand the reasons for you presence,"
"Don't worry," Nicholas replied, "As long as you are honest and honorable, you have little to fear from us,"
Tsunade didn't believe a word he said. "Double the guard on all of them," she whispered to Shizune as she left the room, "I don't want them to try and escape,"
Quick Author's notes:
This story is an attempt by me to have all the major elements of a good story. Please alert me to any perceived ooc in reviews, and I'll try my best to amend my dark deeds. Any questions or other comments are welcome. I won't tell you to not flame because flames are inevitable. also, For those of you wondering why the the new character uses Russian words, its because I chose to model him and his people Russo-Germanic culture. Both groups have somewhat "resigned" philosophies toward the inevitability of misery and death, and I thought it fit the atitude of the character and his retinue. Just so all know, this takes place at some point in shippuden. Just fyi.