A/N: This is supposed to be a little one-shot about how I re-envisioned that rooftop scene in season two. Now, I used Ms. Harris's interpretation of angels here. In that they are descended from fairies. So, they are just another Fae creature, like elves or sprites. So, I don't want to offend anyone because I'm stating clearly that Carys is not a Biblical angel.
So, in this story our main characters of Carys and Godric happened across each other a very long time ago. But, somehow, neither one of them ever forgot the other. Carys has struggled trying to find her place and purpose and has, perhaps, lost her faith along that journey. But, on that rooftop in Dallas, the fates of two creatures will collide. Has destiny brought them back for this fateful meeting? And will Carys find her faith or lose it forever?
Secret Admirer
Carys shifted slightly in position, marveling how the gravel crunched beneath her feet. The sky was gray with the approaching dawn and the fading stars were still visible. They never went away, she thought, they just became invisible. Like she could do. Her eyes focused on the other beings on this roof with her. Two vampires, a fairy hybrid and, of course, Jasper.
She stared at one of the vampires. She knew him, although, he wouldn't recognize her, if he could see her. Which he couldn't. She knew him because, at one time, she had watched him.
She knew that was probably against the rules. But, rules were just guidelines and only the blind followed them without thinking. Plus, the exalted state of this existence had worn off a long time ago. Had she lost her faith? Maybe. But, why had she not fallen if that was the case? Carys smiled. Tricky, very tricky, she thought. Perhaps, the fallen were cursed by not being able to see what they had become. They continued slogging along, mindless to the changes all around them. Surely, that would be a true hell.
Heaven and hell were but concepts of a human imagination. Of course, that's not saying that they didn't exist, corrected Carys. She had seen heaven in the tender moment of a stolen kiss and she had seen hell in the pain and suffering of those unable to protect themselves. She was what humans would call an angel. Except, she didn't have a golden halo or fluffy white wings. And that was a damn shame because she would have looked totally killer in those. Okay, maybe a little whimpy, but still killer. Of course, she hadn't begun her life as this. She had been born a fairy a long time ago. But, while most fairies were perfectly content just being fairies, she had not been. Something always felt wrong with her. The feeling of being different only grew stronger as the years went by. The other fairies could sense the difference, too. She became isolated from her own kind. Yet, she didn't miss their company. A yearning began to grow inside of her, yet she was unsure of what it was that she desired. She didn't understand at the time that she was…changing. Evolving. Becoming.
Of course, angels were just a different type of Fae. Demons, spites, elves were all Fae as well. And it was well known that, while it was rare, a fairy could change into an angel. Mostly, angels begat other angels, keeping it all in the family, so to speak. When her difference became apparent, she noticed the whispers and glances from her fellow fairies. Not that she cared. Screw them. Who needs them anyway? She was pulled in front of the fairy queen who commanded her to complete her homework. She had to become a fairy godmother in order to advance. Right, fairy spy was more like it. She had no illusions about the true motives of her kind. Fairies were perhaps the most duplicitous creatures ever to be created, except for vampires. But, fairies were hunted almost to oblivion so maybe she should cut them a little slack. She had flat out refused and pissed off the queen. Her refusal should have stopped her metamorphosis in it's tracks, but it didn't. It was then that she realized that she had possessed the power to change all along within herself.
And, so she had become other. Neither fairy, nor exactly an angel. The boundaries of the Fae lands no longer held sway over her and she ventured into the world of man. She also found that as her magic grew, she could touch other worlds that existed alongside this one. She found others who were similar. And, once again, they preached the rules to her. She ignored them. Hey, where were they when she was struggling to understand what was happening to her? She did all the work getting to this state and they wanted to lord over her? Not going to happen. They threatened. She still ignored them and did her own thing. Fallen, they whispered behind her back. Whatever.
One day, she discovered that she could hear prayers. She listened for a while until she grew tired of all the petty things that people wished for. Wealth, power and beauty were at the top of everyone's playlist. As time went by, she turned a deaf ear to them. It was at that time that she started to hear other voices. Except, they weren't really voices, at all. Images and feelings seemed to zoom past her and she tapped in. She felt a wave of such suffering and pain that it brought her to her knees. She found that here was something that she couldn't ignore. In an instant, she followed the trail to it's source.
In a dirty, dingy alley that was strewn with garbage, she saw a human kicking a black bag around. Her eyes widened when she saw the bag was actually a black dog. He was skinny and dirty. His body was broken and she knew that he would never rise to his feet again. Yet, he held on to this miserable life and his eyes watched the man, hoping for a trace of mercy. In the face of such cruelty, she realized, that this dog still had faith. And she didn't. It shook her to her core. She couldn't let something so precious fade away. So, she moved forward. The man had leaned down to punch the dog, but when he saw her approach, he turned his fist towards her. She longed to give the man a helping of what he was dishing out, but she had other plans for him.
"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.
"Shut up," she replied.
The man opened his mouth, but found that no words came out. He grabbed his throat and his eyes widened in fear. She threw him back against the wall and held him there with her power. Then, she knelt by the dog. His tail weakly thumped and he gave a soft whimper. He was poised on the edge of life and death, waiting. His wet tongue lapped at her hand and she realized that he had been waiting for her.
"I'm here, now," she said.
She reached out her hand and the dog came to her. He shuffled out of his mortal existence like a dog shakes off water from his coat. He glowed with an aura of such purity that Carys felt her eyes weep. He sat on his haunches and looked at her with deep brown eyes that were filled with….love. Could it truly be so? She reached out a shaky hand that was met with more sloppy doggy kisses.
"I'm all alone," she whispered.
The dog shook his head as if to dispute those words and woofed, softly. Her hand petted his silky fur. "Are you sure that you want to come with me?"
"Woof."
Carys got up and the dog danced excitedly around her legs. She turned and walked forward to the man, but the dog stayed back. She stood before him and allowed him to speak.
"Hey, how did you do that, you bitch," he growled. "Are you some sort of freak? And, that's my dog you're stealing."
The dog whined behind her and Carys felt a moment of fury. She bored into this human's brain and found that the dog wasn't the only creature to suffer at his hands. Other, animals had met fates just as bad or worse and the man's own family lived in fear of him. She could kill the bastard with just a thought. But, that was too easy and he might find forgiveness for his sins. Now, she wasn't saying that there shouldn't be forgiveness, she just thought that one needed to work for it. She placed a finger on his chakra or third eye.
"You will feel the fear and suffering of all those creatures that you have harmed," she said. "Day and night, their cries will haunt you. Only if you are capable of feeling some sort of empathy for your victims will this curse be reversed."
She lifted her hand and the man struggled to stay on his feet. His hand moved to his forehead and rubbed the spot that Carys had touched.
"Curse?" he whispered.
Carys ignored him. She began walking down the darkened alley and waved a hand to the dog. He moved and trotted by her side and together they just seemed to disappear into the shadows. She stole his dog, the bitch, he thought. His eyes roved across the alley until they spotted the body lying next to a heap of garbage. What the hell? He moved closer and saw the broken body of the dog. His knees felt weak. But, he had just seen that dog up and moving. This can't be. A howl broke the silence. The man froze. He knew that howl. It belonged to Bandit. But, Bandit was dead. He had chained him outside and left him with no shelter until one frozen morning he had found the icy body of the dog with his teeth still latched onto this chain. The crazy dog had tried to chew through the chain to get free and his teeth were all broken and bloody. He had thrown the body on a garbage heap. Good riddance, he had thought at the time. The howl came again and it sent a wave of fear straight down the man's spine. Again and again the howl came until the man put his hands over his ears in an attempt to stop the noise. He felt something at his feet and looked down. A gray tabby kitten was moving against his legs. It meowed and lifted his head. The cat's fur was dripping wet and the man tried to step away from it. He recognized it as once being his daughter's kitten. She had found the stray and brought it home. When he had tripped over the kitten going to the kitchen to get a beer, he had lost it. He shoved his little girl out of the way and grabbed the kitten by the throat. He had taunted her before he took the cat away. Daddy's going to drown this worthless furball in the river. He had laughed at her tears and listened to her begging, before leaving with the yowling kitten. This same long dead kitten looked up at him and hissed, baring little needle sharp fangs.
"Stay away from me," the man cried as he turned and ran down the alley. But, no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't get away because he realized that he could hear the cries in his head. They only grew louder and louder.
And, so, Carys searched for these helpless victims. The dog whose name was actually Jasper, not Blackie like his old owner had named him, seemed to be able to sniff them out. Together, they became a team and neither one was alone again. Sometimes, they managed to find those helpless souls in time to right the wrongs done to them. And, other times, Carys could only ease their suffering. She found that they could also find children whose innocence burned with a bright light that was like a beacon to them. If it was within her power to restore them to health, she did so. She didn't give a flying fig if it was against the rules or not. She also handed out a few curses along the way to those who so rightly deserved them. She kept watch over her charges and they gave her a sense of purpose back. For, those that were beyond her help, she brought them to the Everlasting Lands. It was as close to heaven as she had ever found. There they could run and play in a way that they were never able to do in life. Dogs rolled in the grass and dug holes in the earth. Cats chased after butterflies that they never seemed to catch. In that place, they could be the creatures that they were always meant to have been. They were no longer suffered from fear and were finally happy.
Before she had arrived here on this rooftop, she and Jasper had been running across a meadow of brilliant green grass in the lands of Everlasting. She remembered peeking over her shoulder to see Jasper running after her with his pink tongue lolling out. She swore that his lips were curled back into a smile. For a dog, that was quite a feat. The sky overhead was a periwinkle blue and the trees that grew around the meadow rose up, lush and tall, reaching for the sky. The scent of blooming flowers drifted fragrantly on the breeze and birds sang in the trees. It was a paradise that even she couldn't have imagined better.
Suddenly, Jasper's ears perked up and he ran off in a different direction. His black, sleek body rippled with muscles as he ran faster than he had ever been able to in his life before. Knowing that he was on the scent of something, Carys followed along.
"Jasper, where are you going?" she called after him.
He barked excitedly and ran faster. Was it a rabbit? Of course, he would never catch a rabbit in this place. But, all dogs knew that the fun was in the chase itself. Suddenly, Jasper came back and circled around her with his tail wagging. His body wiggled with the force of those tail wags.
"Did you find another?" she asked.
Jasper sat on his haunches and woofed. Carys closed her eyes and felt with her senses. She felt the familiar ache in her heart. But, it felt different this time, somehow. She reached down a hand and petted Jasper's head. Those wise brown eyes stared into hers.
"Someone needs us," she said. In a blaze of light that so reminded her of her old fairy life, they winked out of sight.
And, then, they appeared on this rooftop and Carys took a moment to get her bearings. The sky was still dark, but was lightening with the impending arrival of the sun. She could see the rooftops of a vast city that seemed to stretch out in every direction. Dallas, the name came to her. She turned and saw three other creatures on the roof. A human female dressed in a red and white-checkered dress. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail. Carys sensed something else from her and frowned. She still didn't totally trust her old kin. The human with fairy blood might bear watching. A tall, blonde vampire dressed all in black was talking to a shorter vampire dressed in white linen clothing and sandals. Jasper leaned into her legs and she reached down and absently petted his head. She could feel the pain coming off of the two vampires and that, in itself, was a rare occurrence. Something unusual was happening here on this roof and it had drawn her to this place to bear witness. Maybe as a renegade angel, she was the only one who would come. After all, most other angels wouldn't care about the fates of vampires. Carys gazed upon them, or rather at the dark-haired one. But, she did care.
She knew him, having met him long ago when she was still evolving. Godric looked exactly the same. But, being a vampire, he would. She trailed a hand down her silk dress that was rather plain by fairy standards. For some reason, she felt a fluttering of nervousness in the pit of her stomach. Godric had never seen her, so she shouldn't have to worry about her appearance. But, for some reason, she did. Her path had crossed his ages ago. Supposedly, vampires were her mortal enemies, except that she wasn't exactly mortal anymore. Vampires might be dead, but they were still of this world. To her the argument as to whether they belonged here or not didn't matter. They were here, just like she was.
He had been all alone, living like a wild savage. She had also been alone and against her better judgement, she had followed him and watched him. She was more than a fairy at that time and she wasn't overly afraid to getting closer to check him out. Following the firelight, she had moved through the trees as silently as a ghost. She found him sitting on a rock and gazing into the flames, lost in thought. He might have been a savage creature, but he was still hauntingly beautiful, she had thought. With his dark hair and pale skin that was decorated by intricate markings, he looked like a pagan god. Yes, he killed to survive, but she could sense that he didn't take joy in another's suffering. Is the lion evil because he preys on the gazelle? From her vantage point in the shadows, she had watched the flickering firelight cast shadows over his body. Those moving shadows had seemed to cause his tattoos to dance upon his skin. It was magical and her breath caught in her throat. The stars made music in the sky as they traversed the heavens and those tinkling sounds reached her ears. Surely, there was something magical about this evening afoot. Slowly, she was drawn forward. She needed to be closer. She could hide herself from his eyes and she edged closer to the vampire that made her so curious. But, he must have sensed her presence. His head lifted and in a blink he whirled around with bared fangs. Frozen in place, she held her breath as his vampire eyes roved over the dark forest. Slowly, they stopped in her direction and her heart froze. Impossible. He sniffed the air and a low growl came from his throat.
"You're not human," he said, into the darkness.
Carys concentrated on making herself even more invisible. She willed herself somewhere else and relaxed when she found herself within the safety of the trees again.
Feeling a little bold, she called out, "Correct, vampire."
The vampire easily tracked her voice to her new spot and his eyes narrowed. Could he actually harm her if he caught her? She was still a Fae creature and there was a good possibility that her little savage vampire would drain her in an instant if he got his vampire hands on her. Carys decided that it would be wise to stay out of his claws.
"What are you, then?" he asked.
Carys knew better than to answer from the same spot. He would zero in on her and pinpoint her location if she did. She realized that there was a good possibility that he was trying to keep her talking in order to track her with his vampire senses. Tricky creatures, these vampires, she mused. So, as slippery as a ghost she moved again.
"A friend, perhaps," she answered.
His eyes moved unerringly to her new spot. Damn, he was good, she thought. A small smile played across his face as he said, "Vampires don't have any friends."
"Neither do I," replied Carys from another location.
He turned his head again. "So, is that what you are doing? Trying to make friends with me?" he asked.
"Actually, no," she said, silently moving again. "I was just spying on you."
The smile grew a little bigger. "At least, you're honest."
"I'm not supposed to tell lies," she replied, deciding to throw her voice, since moving all the time was getting tedious.
The vampire's head moved to the direction of her voice, but his eyes narrowed until they were almost slits. He flicked a glance back to where she was hidden. Did he know that she was still here? How?
"Lucky for me, that you have such a truthful tongue," he replied. "Why don't you show yourself?"
"Um, scary vampire," she replied, throwing her voice from another location.
"I doubt that you are helpless," he replied. That smile returned and he said, "I'll just have to assume that you are hideous ugly if you won't show me your face. You probably have a pig nose and a warty chin."
Carys laughed behind her hand. "You're close. I have scaly skin like snake and a forked tongue and the most adorable claws on my toes."
"You sound like the girl of my dreams."
"More like nightmares, I would think," she replied.
"Somehow, I think that you are breaking the rules and lying to me," he said.
"Why would you think that?"
"Because the owner of such a pretty voice has to be just as beautiful," he softly said.
"Very smooth, for a vampire," she said. "But, it's going to take a little more than that compliment to make me come out of my hiding place."
He smiled so sweetly that Carys almost forgot how dangerous he was. "My name is Godric," he said. "Will you, at least, tell me your name?"
"There is power in a name," she replied. "My name must remain a secret."
"You are a hard nut to crack, my voyeuristic admirer," he replied.
"I never said that I was your admirer."
"Are you not?" he replied. "Why else would you be here, spying on me?"
"You made me curious, that's all, vampire."
"Curious about what, exactly?" he asked with a smirk. "My fangs? Or, has something else grabbed your fancy? Do you want to feel the touch of my skin over yours as I move inside you?"
She gasped in shock and he expertly tracked to her location. She realized that he had said that to shock her on purpose in order to find her position. She tensed as she expected him to pounce on her. But, he stayed where he was.
"There you are," he said. "You have a neat ability to evade my senses, but it's not perfect."
"Why are you telling me this, if it is a weakness?" she asked in curiosity.
"Not all vampires would be so willing to play this game," he said. "They play for keeps, little voyeur."
"Why are you playing with me?"
He was silent for several moments as if deciding whether or not to tell her the truth. "Because I'm all alone and, at least, you are talking to me."
She could understand loneliness. But, she shouldn't get too cozy with a vampire. "I'm afraid that things just wouldn't work out between us."
"Why is that? I am overcoming my natural instinct to devour you," he said.
"Forgive me if I lack faith in your willpower," replied Carys. "We are supposed to be enemies, you and I."
"Do I feel like your enemy?"
Carys paused. He could be totally playing her, but she felt something that told her that he was telling the truth.
"Will you give me a parting gift?" she asked him.
A very long pause and then a hushed, "Yes, what is it that you want?"
"A kiss to remember you by," she said. "I'll carry it with me, forever."
"Then, come get your kiss, if you dare, my little secret admirer," he said.
Carys began to glow and the light grew brighter and brighter. She stepped out from the trees and Godric squinted against the blaze of her soul light. She knew that he would be unable to see her like this and, yet, she was revealing a part of herself that few ever saw.
"What are you?" he asked with a hushed voice, his eyes trying to see.
She was close now and she kissed his lips. They felt soft and tasted surprisingly sweet. She moved to his ear and said, "I'm your secret admirer, vampire."
She moved away as he reached out a hand and touched the air where she had just been. "Goodbye, Godric."
"Wait! Will I ever see you again?" he asked.
"You didn't exactly see me this time," she replied.
"Smart ass," he hissed. "You know what I mean."
"I cannot tell the future," Carys replied. "That is beyond my abilities."
"Then, tell me your name, so that I will have something of you to keep," he asked.
The wind whipped up and swirled around the fire. The wind carried her voice on it. The sound was faint, as if she came from far away. My name is Carys and I promise that you will see me again, it sighed.
Of course, she had sought him out a few other times. But, she had never again attempted to contact him. It was enough to watch over him, like a guardian angel. She certainly didn't meet the guardian angel standards, but for a vampire, she was probably the best that he could hope for. She had witness the turning of the blonde, tall vampire and felt a small degree of sadness. She was happy that he had found a companion, but she was still as alone as ever. She was sure the memory of the strange spirit who kissed him by the firelight had faded from his life like the fading image of an old photograph that slowly disappears over time. But, his kiss was still lodged deep within her heart and, when she was lonely, she would pull it out like a treasure and remember it again. The memory of his soft lips still made hers tingle with a forbidden promise.
Jasper made a small whine and drew her back from her memories. He leaned against her legs as if giving her comfort. He had followed the trail to this place. Did he somehow sense that this vampire meant something to her? She turned her eyes back to Godric. He was still as hauntingly beautiful as before. Only, now his lovely eyes were filled with sadness.
"He's not our usual client," she reminded the dog.
Jasper woofed and looked up at her with those big puppy dog eyes. Dammit, she hated it when he did that. Miserable pooch.
"Alright, we'll stay and observe," said Carys. Right, like wild horses were going to drive her off this roof. "But, I'm not making any promises."
Jasper thumped his tail and smiled his doggy smile. Carys groaned. Who could ever resist that? She felt a pang of sadness as she remembered how many cruel souls could be unmoved by such a sight.
"Two thousand years is enough," said Godric.
"How can you say that?" replied Eric.
"We're not right. We don't belong here," said Godric.
"But, we are here," replied Eric. "You told me that there wasn't any right or wrong. That there was only survival."
"Then, it seems that I told a lie," replied Godric. "Let me go."
"I will keep you here by force if I have to," replied Eric.
"Even if you could, would you be so cruel?" asked Godric.
Eric fell to his knees and begged. "Please, please, don't do this."
"Father, brother, son," said Godric, petting Eric's bowed head. "There are centuries of love between us. Someday, you may understand but try not to hate me too much, right now."
Eric looked up with bloody tears on his face. "I won't let you die alone."
"Yes, you will," said Godric, still tenderly caressing Eric. "As you maker, I command you."
Godric looked over at the horizon and a calm peace settled over him. "Go, now, my child."
Eric slowly rose and moved away as the fairy hybrid touched his hand. "I'll stay with him," she said.
Carys tensed and watched Godric and the hybrid talk. The sky grew ever lighter and a knot developed in her stomach. Was Godric really going to greet the sun? He would die if he did that. Perhaps, she should have kept a better watch over him. Her playfully savage vampire had become a tortured creature. Maybe, he had been…evolving. Was that possible? She would have thought that such a thing was impossible, but she always felt that Godric was different. She watched as Godric turned away from the human and waited for the rising sun. He pulled off his shirt and held out his arms in surrender to his fate. Suddenly, Jasper rose and ran over to him.
"Jasper!"
Carys followed and as she and Jasper moved in front of Godric, his eyes focused on them. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out how they had gotten up on the roof without him seeing them.
"How? Who?" he muttered.
Jasper trotted up to him and wagged his tail, using all his doggy charm. Godric looked down at the dog who pranced around his legs. Godric could see that the dog seemed to be lit from within by a bright light that sent rainbow-colored sparkles into the air around him. He looked to the roof edge and saw a woman standing there as if she was not worried about falling to her death. Her reddish gold colored hair blew in the breeze and the wind rippled the very Grecian style of dress that she was wearing. Expressive blue eyes in an intelligent face stared at him as if they could see right through him.
Her lips twitched into a small smile. "Jasper likes you."
"Where did you come from?" asked Godric. "And, you should get off that edge because you could fall."
"I won't fall," Carys replied. "Well, no more than I already have."
"What?"
"Forget it," she said. "Lame attempt at humor."
The sun was rising and Carys could feel it at her back. What should she do? Godric was certainly old enough to make his own decisions. She should move and allow the sun to burn him away. It was what he wanted, after all.
"The sun is up," said Godric, in confusion. "Why aren't I burning?"
"I have reached out my hand into the heavens and blocked the rays from touching you," replied Carys.
Godric stared at this crazy girl. She was talking nonsense. Maybe, she was just standing in front of him. "Move aside," he said. "I'm ready."
Carys bit her lip, a holdover from her past. She used to worry her lips until she needed gallons of soothing balm on them. Let him go. Didn't he order his own child to do the same? She shifted her weight to move aside just as Jasper whined and looked at her. He was sitting at Godric's feet and his tail thumped weakly in a quiet plea. Jasper was wise. He had brought her here and she didn't believe that Jasper intended for them to watch Godric light up like a Roman candle. She was supposed to save the lost ones that she found. That was her purpose. She had to have faith. Jasper was sent to her to help her find her way. If there was a God, surely his hand was in all of this.
"Whoever you are, get out of my way," pleaded Godric.
Suddenly, Carys rose upwards and she felt something move from within her. Startled she looked over her shoulder. She had wings! Not those sissy, white Cupid wings, either. These were bad-ass ones. They were long, sleek and dusky gray and they beat with coiled power. The air on the rooftop swirled and Jasper barked with excitement. She spread her wings and blocked out the sun. Her shadow fell upon Godric and he gazed upon her in wonder.
"Are you really an angel?" he asked.
"You better believe it, baby," she replied.
"Excuse me?" said Godric. "I must be hallucinating."
"You ain't seen nothing yet," smirked Carys.
Carys swooped down and enveloped Godric within the protection of her wings. Jasper squeezed in between them. "Is everyone ready?" asked Carys.
"What? Who are you?" asked Godric.
"I'm your secret admirer, vampire," she whispered.
"Carys?" he asked, hesistantly.
"You remembered me," she replied.
"You were hard to forget," said Godric. "What's going on?"
"I made you a promise," she said. "We sealed it with a kiss."
"I didn't know that angels could kiss."
Carys planted her lips on Godrics. "Does that change your mind about my kissing skills?" She tenderly kissed his lips again and they tasted just as sweet as before. Her arms wrapped around him and he felt so right, like he had belonged there all along.
"Where are we going?" asked Godric.
"Someplace like Heaven," replied Carys.
"Don't I have to die to go there?" asked Godric.
"You only have to believe," said Carys, softly kissing him again. "Your heart and soul do the rest."
In a blaze of light, Carys, Godric and Jasper winked out of sight. Sookie stood in the morning sunlight and held onto to a rail.
"Holy shit," she murmured. "Maybe, I should lay off the vampire blood."