I originally posted this over on tumblr (frankchurchillsaysrelax) and then completely forgot to transfer it to here. Just a little futurefic I came up with while I was dealing with the cancellation news.
Riley always enjoys working at her mother's cafe. Seeing different people from all different walks of life going about their days never fails to put a smile on her face. She likes the quiet moments too when she can sit and think in between rushes.
Today was a quiet day, winter break had started at NYU and most of her fellow classmates were on their way back home for the holidays. The high schoolers are finishing their last day of class and she suspects things will pick up as soon as they are let out.
The icy December chill blows through the small space as the door opens for the first time in over an hour. Riley looks up, ready to welcome the new customer until she sees who it is.
He stands there with his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his winter coat and an almost timid smile on his face. The blue scarf her grandmother had knitted for him last year is wrapped tightly around his neck. He looks good standing before her and it takes a couple moments before she can find her voice.
"Lucas, hi." Six months since she'd last seen him.
"Hey." Eight months since their break-up.
She swallows down the end to their old customary greeting. Things may be a little awkward between them right now but there is no need for them to revert back to their middle school selves. They are still friends. They can still talk to each other.
"I thought you weren't getting back until tomorrow," she says eventually as he approaches the counter she is standing behind. He sits on one of the stools and she starts making his usual drink before he can even ask.
"That was the plan," he sighs while unwrapping the scarf and unbuttoning his coat, "but my last final became a take home and I was able to catch an earlier flight."
Riley sets the steaming mug in front of him and glances back out the window at the snow being blown around in the wind.
"I bet you would have stayed down south a little longer if you'd known what was waiting for you when you got off the plane," she teases.
"No," he shakes his head. "It's nice to be home." He blows on his drink briefly before taking a long sip. She can't help but smile, glad that even though he decided to move back to Texas for college he still considers New York his home.
"I'm glad I was here when you stopped by," she admits. "It's good to see you."
His smile goes from timid to relieved and just like that some of the tension surrounding them evaporates.
"I came to see you actually," he pauses to take another sip from his drink, "I stopped by your apartment and your dad told me where to find you."
"Well, here I am!" She throws her arms out wide as if she were some prize he'd tracked down. Quickly she lets them fall to her sides and begins folding a stack of tea towels to keep her hands busy. "Did you need something?"
"I just wanted to check in, see how you've been." There's an uncomfortable silence for a moment as they stare at each other, neither of them speaking. "So, how have you been?" he urges.
"I've been great." She finishes with the towels and moves on to wiping down the counter. "Why are you asking?"
"I don't know," he sighs. "A couple weeks ago when I called you for your birthday you just seemed a little off. So come on," he stops her busy work with a hand on her arm, "tell me what's going on."
She hates that he knows her so well. A part of her wants to tell him it's none of his business anymore, but they had promised that they would still be friends. That's all he's asking for right now and she would never deny him that.
"Maya and I have been fighting," she confesses.
"Oh?" He asks it like a question but he doesn't seem very surprised.
"Yeah." She gives in and starts to make herself a hot chocolate, grabbing extra marshmallows as an afterthought. She doesn't speak again until she's holding her own steaming mug in her hands. "Things have changed since we started school. I knew we wouldn't see each other as much living on different campuses, but it's like we never have time for each other and I'm not entirely sure we've been trying very hard lately to change that.
"She hates that I joined Gamma, she makes fun of my sisters every chance she gets, and I don't understand how she can go out and party every single night. I thought she would become more serious about her classes once she got into art school but she hasn't, and I'm not there to bail her out anymore. I'm worried about her and she doesn't seem to care." Riley is practically crying as she finishes her rant, a mix of emotions bubbling up to the surface once again.
"Is that what you guys fought about?" Lucas questions softly.
"Yeah," she lets out a watery laugh and braces her hands against the counter top. "She told me that I need to stop trying to control her and let her make her own mistakes and I get that, I do. I wasn't trying to control her it's just," she pauses trying to find the right words. "It's how we've always been. She gets us into trouble and I get us out of it. But she doesn't want to get into trouble with me anymore."
She doesn't realize she's fully crying until Lucas hands her a cocktail napkin to dry her tears.
He hesitates before finally asking, "Riley, do you remember that one time in eighth grade. Your dad gave us that assignment about Joan of Arc and you and Maya were fighting, and I asked you if it was possible that you two were too close?"
"And I nearly bit your head off," she says, solemnly.
"Yes, you were very intimidating," he chuckles. "Why did you get so mad about that?"
"She's my best friend!"
"So? Zay has been my best friend for as long as Maya's been yours. What makes your relationship different from ours?" His questions are prodding and Riley finds herself getting annoyed with him for the first time in a long time.
"Because we're Riley and Maya!" she cries, pushing off from the counter and waving her arms around for emphasis. "She's Peaches, I'm Honey. Thunder, Lightning. Ever since that first day when she climbed through my bay window I knew that she would be my Shawn." She breaks off with a gasp and covers her mouth with both hands.
"You wanted an extraordinary friendship like your dad and Shawn. Something that could live up to Cory and Shawn." Hearing him say it out loud makes her feel ridiculous; like she's spent her whole life competing with her father. "You can't force a friendship like that Riley. You either have one or you don't."
"We've never forced anything though. It's never been hard to be friends with Maya," she lies. She picks up her mug again and hides her face as she takes a long pull.
"Really? Never?" he asks with a crooked smile and one raised eyebrow.
"N-never," she falters under his knowing stare.
"You've never bit your tongue at something she's said or done when you wouldn't let someone else get away with it? Or agreed to go along with whatever she wanted to do even when you really didn't want to? You've never once felt like she was taking advantage of you?"
He crosses his arms over his chest and raises both eyebrows, waiting for her answer. Her mouth opens and closes a few times as she tries to find something to say, but the words won't come to her.
"I always had a feeling this would happen someday," he admits after watching her struggle.
"You did? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Seriously? I learned a long time ago not to comment on your relationship. Anything I would have said you wouldn't have wanted to hear."
"Well I'm listening now." Her fingers tap against the mug as she waits, anxious to hear whatever insight he might be able to provide.
Lucas finishes off the rest of his drink in one large gulp before leveling her with an intense look.
"You can't force a friendship," he repeats. "If you do, eventually it's all going to fall apart. For as long as I've known you you've had your friendship on a pedestal, but not just you, everyone has. Maya, Farkle, your parents, Katy, everyone has built it up so high that even the smallest thing could send it crashing."
"So what?" she asks indignantly, glad that the bakery is still empty besides the two of them. "I'm supposed to just give up on her? Sorry Maya, our friendship was never really that great so I guess it's over now?"
"Riley calm down, that's not what I'm saying. You would never give up on anyone and I didn't say that you should. It's not about ending the friendship, it's about," he sighs in frustration, trying to choose his words carefully. "It's about accepting how much love you and the other person are actually able to give. If either of you tries to give or take more than you're capable of then you might as well be giving up because it can only destroy you.
"I'm speaking from experience here. You know how hard it was for me to tell my dad I didn't want to go to West Point, that I was serious about becoming a vet. We're never going to have the kind of close relationship that I wish we could, and ever since I admitted that things have gotten better between us."
"So I take it you aced Freshman Psych?" she asks, smiling back at him.
Lucas' head bobs forward with a laugh in a gesture so familiar it's almost painful to witness. She's missed making him laugh like this.
"I get what you're saying Lucas, I just don't know if I can-"
"Just think about it," he cuts her off. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just giving you some options."
Riley nods, she can accept that. "So things are ok now? With you and your dad," she elaborates.
Lucas makes a noncommittal sound. "They're better. We talk more now than we used to, it's just never about anything really important. Maybe someday we'll get there but for now it's just nice to not be fighting all the time."
Riley can imagine how much of a relief that would be. She hopes to feel that way herself soon.
"Listen, I should get going." Lucas stands and begins doing up his coat and scarf again. "I want to get home before my mama gets off work and surprise her." Riley waves him off when he takes out some money for his coffee but he puts the five dollar bill in the tip cup anyways.
"It really was good to see you Lucas. I've missed talking to you."
"Me too," he says. He looks sad for a moment like there is something else he wants to say but the next moment he's smiling again and walking backwards towards the door. "I'm home for the next month so I'm sure we'll see each other again soon."
He walks out the door just as the first of the high school crowd are coming down the stairs outside.
As she's taking their order a small voice in her head wonders how much love Lucas is able to share with her these days, because she still has a lot to give.