Prologue: Why Not?

Kurogane glanced through the pile of applications.

"Sooo~? What do you think?" He glanced up. The chairman leaned back and put her feet up on her desk, her butterfly anklet tinkling against the wood. Today, she was wearing a light yellow cocktail dress, a red blazer and a tiny matching red hat with long, speckled yellow feathers hanging down from it. "Are they good enough?"

"…Is this a joke?"

"Of course not. This is serious business, right? Out of everyone who applied for the athletic scholarship, I handpicked my favorites and gave them to you!"

"You think I want to give a scholarship to these people!?"

Yuuko smiled innocently. "Why not?"

"Why NOT!?" He slammed one of the applications onto her desk. "Who would give a scholarship to someone who claims running late to school every day is her special talent!?!?"

Yuuko's eyes widened in understanding. "Ahh, but doesn't that mean she'll be good at track and field?"

"That's not the issue here!!!"

Yuuko frowned, and then her face lightened considerably. "What about the next person?"

Kurogane scanned the paper. "Highest possible levels in kendo, karate, judo, aikido, and archery… sworn ninja protector of the Imonoyama family…"

"Sounds like you two would get along well, doesn't it?"

"…currently enrolled in CLAMP Academy…"

He stopped, thought a moment, and then looked up at the chairman with an annoyed look on his face.

She beamed at him. "Well?"

"I'd give him the scholarship, but I don't think he'd want it."

"…Your reasoning."

"CLAMP Academy is much better known than we are. I know you well enough by now to guess that you yourself submitted this so we could have a chance at stealing their star athlete for ourselves."

"Eh~? I couldn't possibly-"

"CHAIRMAN!!!"

"Okay, I did! You killjoy, you pick up on the smallest things."

"That's not a small thing!!!"

"Well, if he did transfer here, we'd get some lovely publicity, right~?"

"He wouldn't. Transfer, that is. If he did, he'd also be separated from that Imonoyama kid."

"Ah! I suppose so… next,then?"

The room was silent for few moments.

Kurogane suddenly held the application out at arm's length with a look of deep fury and embarrassment.

"This person claims surfing the internet for doujinshi is a sport! And not just ANY doujinshi, but, BUT-"

Yuuko looked confused, for once. "Give it here."

He threw the paper at her, which she caught gracefully. As she looked it over, a knowing smile gradually replaced her confusion. She burst into laughter.

"OHOHOHOHO! So THAT'S why you're blushing!"

"WHO WOULDN'T!?"

"You should rejoice that you have fangirls! Anyway, I didn't choose this one, it seems to have chosen us. It seems our author wants to be in Horitsuba Academy herself."

She turned to face the crumbling fourth wall. "By the way, the only people allowed in Horitsuba Academy are genuine CLAMP characters or their other selves." She winked. "Like me and Kurogane-sensei here."

"Fangirls?! Author!?!? Ch-Characters!?!? What the hell are you talking about, and why are you facing left!!?!??!"

"Nevermind. In fact, by the good grace of the author, please forget everything that happened in the last 25 sentences, including this one."

The room was silent a few moments.

Kurogane suddenly held the application out at arm's length with a look of deep fury and embarrassment.

"This person claims fighting in some sort of virtual reality is a sport!"

"...Is that embarassing? You're blushing."

He looked confused. "No, it's not."

"It's okay. I suppose she couldn't do away with the body's memories, huh." Luckily, Kurogane couldn't hear her.

"But... well, it's just another way of saying he's a gamer, right? How is that athletic at all!?!"

"It may or may not be like that. But no, video games are not generally an athletic sport."

"Chairman, if everyone who actually applied has these kind of ridiculous… talents, I'll just go scouting myself!" He picked up the pile of papers and tossed them in the trash.

"Ah. You missed one." Yuuko held out the paper to him. He tried to grab it, but she pulled back at the last moment. "It's only one, so just read it. Okay~?"

He eyed her warily, then took it and read it.

Yuuko looked on with a smirk in her eyes.

"He was trained by our archery coach?"

"Mmm-hmm, apparently he was Coach Yukito's protégé."

He slowly read the rest of the application. "A temple boy, huh?"

"Yes. Oh, and he goes to a local high school right now, by the way."

"…You…"

"Hmm?"

"You wanted me to give this boy the scholarship from the beginning, didn't you?"

"Of course not~! It was a coincidence that his application was left behind~!"

He pointed at her in anger. "Aren't you the one always saying that there's no such thing as coincidence!?"

"There isn't."

"Now you're contradicting yourself."

Yuuko took a long, refreshing sip of sake. "Ahh! …In any case, it would be nice to give him the scholarship, wouldn't it? He'd be reunited with his old coach, and I'm sure he could rise to athletic stardom quite quickly."

"Heh!" He put the application down on the desk. "Lunchtime is almost over, so I should head back now."

Yuuko swung her feet down to the ground and leaned forward.

"His interview process starts tomorrow, by the way."

"HAAAH!?!?"

"You should clean up you office a bit. Make sure you treat him to some of your famous green tea, okay~?"

Yuuko stood up and pushed the stuttering Kurogane out of her office. Returning, she picked up the application, stood by the full-length window overlooking the campus gates, and smiled.

"Welcome to Horitsuba Academy, Doumeki."