Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and I never will. All rights go to Dreamworks, who made the movies and the series, and Cressida Cowell, the author of the books. In case you didn't read the summary properly, this is a modern AU fanfic. Enjoy!
It was autumn on Berk, and in the Haddock household, there was nothing but chaos. Stoick was clearing out the shed, Snotlout (AKA Scott, Hiccup's cousin) was sorting through the bookshelves for things they didn't need anymore and Hiccup (Henry) and Toothless (Thomas) were in the attic for stuff that didn't work. Today had been deemed a cleanout/garage sale sort-through day, so nobody got a break.
"Hiccup, I had no idea that the attic had so many old things inside," Toothless exclaimed, coughing harshly as he inhaled a lungful of dust. "I just found a picture of your dad before he grew a beard!" He wiped the dust off the front of the picture with the palm of his hand, and showed it to Hiccup. Sure enough, there was a picture of his father at his graduation, wearing a graduation gown, and like Toothless had said, he was clean-shaven. Hiccup almost didn't recognize him, since he literally had no memories of his father not sporting a beard so incredibly big that Santa Claus was jealous.
"I'm having a hard time recognizing that as Dad," Hiccup answered. "When was this photo even taken?"
"I don't know, but I bet this book has even more pictures of your parents before they gave birth to you and got a bunch of stress wrinkles," Toothless said, as he found a photo album and took it downstairs, not even bothering to use the wooden stairs in his excitement and instead jumping down from the attic to the first floor of the house.
"Toothless! Don't get so worked up about it; it's probably nothing important!" Hiccup yelled. "Toothless! Wait!"
"Give me a moment to see what this is first!" Toothless retorted, as he sat down on the sofa and blew dust off the cover. Once the dust cleared (and Toothless stopped hacking like a lumberjack) he properly saw the cover of the book, and gasped. "HICCUP!"
"Hiccup arrived a moment later, clutching his left leg and groaning in pain. "Sorry I couldn't get here faster than the speed of light, Your Majesty. My leg was giving me trouble." His sarcasm was nullified by the pained look on his face.
"You can take it off if you want," Toothless offered. "You're wearing shorts, remember? And it's just me." Hiccup obliged, taking off the metal leg and sighing with relief as he massaged the life back into the end of his aching stub of a leg. Hiccup's missing leg couldn't take too much pressure, as the car accident that had got rid of it (doctors had dubbed it the "Red Death") meant it was extremely sensitive to pain.
"Oh, wait, Snotlout's here," Hiccup remembered. "Get me a blanket, bud, quickly. Dad keeps one under the sofa cushions." Toothless got up and pulled up the sofa cushions until he found the blanket Hiccup was talking about. Then, he put the sofa back together and handed the blanket to Hiccup, who took it gratefully and swaddled himself in it.
"Anyway, let's go and look through this dumb album," Hiccup said, before looking at the cover. His face turned white as he read the childish block letters on the front in fading red colours that spelled LITTLE HENRY AND THOMAS. "Toothless," he finally said, "these are our baby photos. How did you find these?"
"I just saw it sitting there and I couldn't see the front cover," Toothless explained. "I thought it contained pictures of your parents, not . . . not us. Why are you smiling, Hiccup?"
"I've always wondered what I looked like as a baby," Hiccup mused, as he held the book gently in his hands. "Wanna take a break to look at this, bud?"
"Already looking for the chocolate biscuits," Toothless answered, his dark-haired head disappearing for a second as he went into the kitchen. Not even a minute later, he came back with a plate with a decent-sized pile of chocolate-covered digestive biscuits on it. (See? Now you know I'm British!) "Want one?"
"Thanks," Hiccup said, as Toothless took three and stuffed one in his mouth whole. "Take one at a time, Toothless!"
"I am taking one at a time! You've never seen me put two in my mouth at once, have you?" Toothless sassed. "I'd choke if I did that!"
Hiccup sighed, and opened the album. "Hey, there's me in the hospital, with my mom holding me!" Hiccup shouted, almost jumping out of his seat. "I must have been about a week old when Dad took that photo!"
"You look like a crying potato wrapped in a towel," Toothless laughed. "Hey, there's another photo of you! There's a picture of you dressed like an elf for Christmas! Your parents dressed you in a onesie that says 'Santa's little helper'!"
"What?" Hiccup yelped, turning three shades of red as he scrambled to keep the picture away from Toothless' curious eyes. "That is not for you!"
"Well, it could be useful . . . as comedy relief," Toothless joked, collapsing on the couch as he howled with laughter. "Oh, this is priceless!"
"Priceless, you say?" Snotlout asked, bursting into the living room unannounced. "Ooh, biscuits! Sweet!" He quickly grabbed five of them and ate three in a flash.
"We found a baby album in the attic, and it's hilarious!" Toothless announced, grinning as Hiccup hid his face in the blanket. "It's got photos of Hiccup inside it, and photos of me, too!"
"Cool, blackmail material," Snotlout grinned. "I bet there's lots of juicy pictures I can use to make you two nerds do my bidding." He was about to grab the album and flick through it, when Toothless stopped him, grabbing his hand at the wrist and pulling him into a headlock.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't quite catch that. You were speaking too quietly. What did you say about blackmail, Snotlout?"
"Nothing," Snotlout muttered, eyes going wide with fear. "Nothing at all. Let me breathe now?" Toothless let him go. Hiccup grinned, knowing Toothless would never let Hiccup come to any harm.
"Anyway, let's look at more of these pictures. While it's funny seeing Hiccup in the crying-potato phase his parents know so well, it's got my name on the cover too, and I wanna see what sort of baby I was," Toothless said, grabbing the book and skimming the pictures until he found one of himself. "Seems like you were the only one to go through a crying-potato phase, Hiccup. I looked adorable!"
"What?" Snotlout yelped, snatching the photo album as a curious Hiccup looked over his shoulder. Sure enough, there was a picture of a baby with jet black hair in a pale blue onesie smiling into a camera lens. He had the usual baby fat every baby has, and he had no teeth at all. His pink gums were glistening with drool, as was his chin. A teddy bear lay on its back next to him. When he looked at the background, he realized it was plain white, and looked more like a studio than a nursery or his house.
"Toothless, I think this was taken in a professional studio," Hiccup said. "There's nothing in the background at all, look."
"That must be one of the official photos the adoption centre took of me to make sure I'd get adopted," Toothless explained. "They wanted to make sure all the babies looked cute so people would want them, so they gave us toys and played games like 'watch the birdy' so we'd smile."
"And it worked, too," Valka said, waltzing through the door unannounced with bags of shopping. "When we came to adopt you, we both thought you were adorable. But it was the friendship you forged with our son that made us take you home."
"He wouldn't leave without you," Stoick chuckled. Toothless smiled and messed with Hiccup's hair.
"Thank you! Now I'm not just a statistic!" Toothless cheered, hugging Hiccup and not noticing how Hiccup thrashed to get away.
"Toothless - can't breathe-" Hiccup choked out. Toothless gasped, and let go of him. "Oh, thank you! And it's not only me thanking you, it's all of my broken ribs, too."
"Broken ribs? Really?" Toothless asked, his childlike side taking over. "Which ones are broken, Hiccup? Which ones?" He started poking Hiccup's ribcage in an effort to find the broken ribs that had been mentioned, forgetting how ticklish Hiccup was until he started squirming and giggling.
"Toothless, let me gohoho!" Hiccup giggled. "Nohohot thehehere!" Toothless grinned, and started properly tickling Hiccup, forcing out a couple of squeals out of the brunette as Stoick, Valka and Snotlout watched on. "Hehehehehe-HELP!"
"Fine, I'll give you a break," Toothless sighed, as he let Hiccup go and pushed him upright. Snotlout smirked.
"Well, even if the pictures can't be used as blackmail material, that fact that Hiccup's ticklish definitely is," Snotlout grinned.
"No, it isn't," Toothless contradicted. "Snotlout, this wouldn't work for two reasons. First, the only person I can think of who would be interested in seeing this is Astrid, and she's not dumb enough to take your word for it if she could just find out . . . and tell all her female friends." Hiccup gulped, and put his prosthetic leg back on just in case he had to make a break for it.
"The second reason?" Snotlout asked.
"His parents know what you're planning to do, and will definitely stop you. Never talk about blackmailing somebody in front of his parents!" Toothless warned, gesturing to a now livid Stoick and Valka. Stoick's knuckles were white. Valka's jaw was set.
"Who do you think we should go to, honey," Stoick seethed, "the police or his parents?"
"I have his father's number on my phone," Valka answered, already reaching for her bag. Snotlout's eyes widened. She wouldn't . . . would she?
"Sorry about the mix-up, Hiccup. I-I was thinking about somebody else. See ya!" Snotlout sprang out of his chair and bolted for the door. They heard the door slam in his wake and a girlish scream as he ran all the way home (just like the fifth little pig). Stoick and Valka burst out laughing. Valka had tears streaming down her face and Stoick's booming laughter felt like it was shaking the walls.
"This is priceless!" Stoick laughed. "Now I wish you actually had your phone, so you could take a picture of the look at his face!"
"I wonder if he knew my phone was dead?" Valka laughed. "I'm not calling anyone with that for a while!"
"MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE AWESOME!" Toothless yelled. Hiccup just stared on in shock.
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm the adopted one," Hiccup sighed.
"Then why do you look like Mom?" Toothless asked. "I'm clearly the adopted one. I don't look like Mom or Dad, and that's never going to change, nor will it in the future." Then he grinned, and couldn't resist saying one last thing, if only to annoy Hiccup. "Just like your height."
The effect was immediate. Hiccup tackled Toothless to the floor and pulled his shirt up. "I've always wanted to know exactly how many ribs the famous prankster known as the 'Night Fury' has," Hiccup mused, as he first started at Toothless' smooth armpits, making the dark-haired boy howl with laughter and try to squirm away from his adoptive brother, but either he was too weak from laughing, or Hiccup had been working out recently. (Spoiler: it's not option 2.) "Now I can find out!" Toothless laughed hysterically, and said something through his laughter that somehow only Hiccup heard. "How am I doing this? I've done this to you for as long as I can remember. See, here's a picture of us when we were younger." Hiccup gave Toothless a breather break as he flipped through the photo album, until he stopped at a picture of a younger Hiccup tickling the feet of a much smaller Toothless. Toothless had tears of laughter in his eyes and a look on his face like he was holding in laughter (and failing).
"MAHAHAHAHAHAKE HIHIHIHIHIM STOHOHOHOHOHOP!" Toothless pleaded, as Hiccup abandoned his armpits and started the torturous game that had been dubbed 'rib-counting'. The torturous part was that one of the rules Hiccup had introduced said that he would start over every time he moved, claiming that he'd lost count. It didn't help that Toothless was the type that couldn't sit still . . . ever. So it was a miracle that Toothless managed to stay still as Hiccup counted the 12 ribs on his left side, and then moved on to his right side, but not before rubbing his hand down his sides to make Toothless squeal.
"Just a little test," Hiccup said, before he resumed the painfully slow process known as rib-counting. "Now, that's one . . . two . . . three-"
"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LEHEHEHEHET MEHEHEHEHEHEHE BREHEHEHEHEHEHEATHE!"
Hiccup was unfazed. "I've gotten this far, so I guess I can relax the rules a little. I know where I left off, after all," he teased, tracing Toothless' ribcage with one finger as he whined and giggled. "Four . . . five . . . six . . . "
"Hiccup, you're stopping after that, right?" Valka asked, becoming increasingly worried as her adoptive son slowly weakened as his screams of laughter became louder. "I don't want Toothless to faint because you two were rough-housing too much."
"Nobody's ever died from rough-housing too much unless it wasn't rough-housing," Stoick discounted, before taking another look at Toothless. "Toothless will be just fine, but Hiccup, the sneaky son of a gun, could do with a taste of his own medicine." Grinning the parents swooped in from above and grabbed each son before depositing them on the sofa. Hysterical laughter could be heard soon after.
"MOHOHOHOHOHOM! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Hiccup screamed, as his mother's nimble fingers targeted his belly-button and left him in stitches. Tears of mirth clouded his vision. He tried to get away, but his muscles were too weak. "MEHEHEHEHEHERCY!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOP, PLEASE!" Toothless howled. Stoick was holding him upside-down, leaving his other hand free to torture his adoptive son's wiggling feet. Toothless screamed with laughter so much after a game of 'this little piggy' that Old Man Mildew, the village grouch who lived on the opposite side of Berk, heard him.
Eventually their parents stopped, letting their sons finally breathe and chuckling a little as their sons yawned. Apparently, being tickled for a few hours really takes it out of you.
"Well, aren't you two a little tired," Stoick teased. "Maybe you should go to bed a little earlier than usual, just this once."
"Am not!" Toothless argued. A couple of pokes to his stomach soon led him to cry out, "OK, OK! Maybe I'm a little sleepy!"
"Why are you treating us like little kids?" Hiccup whined. "I don't need to be carried! I'm fifteen years old, for Thor's sake!"
"Somebody please take the plate of biscuits and shove them all in his mouth!" Toothless pleaded, covering his ears. This time both hands assaulted Toothless' tummy, as he squealed and tried to kick out, as he repeated an apology over and over until he was allowed oxygen.
Stoick and Valka held the two teens as they carried them up the stairs to their room. They squirmed a little in their parents' arms as they insisted they could walk, but otherwise didn't fight it. As they were tucked into bed, Hiccup pouted, but Toothless was too tired to tease him as he was lifted into the top bunk of the bunk bed. Eventually, they drifted off to sleep, with Valka and Stoick watching from the doorway. "So much for Snotlout wanting blackmail material," Stoick scoffed. "That boy's got nothing on us." Valka scowled playfully.
"And what do you mean by that, Stoick?" Valka asked.
"Take a look," Stoick grinned. He pointed to Toothless, who had started sucking his thumb as he slept, a habit he had supposedly broken when he was four. Hiccup smiled in his sleep as a thin river of drool made its way down his chin. Valka giggled.
"Yep, those are our boys," Valka smiled, as she and her husband went to bed, content that their boys were sleeping happily. "Haven't changed a bit in fifteen years, have they?"
"Nope."
Couldn't resist writing a cute little fanfic like this one, especially since Hiccup and Toothless are more like brothers than friends sometimes! All flames will be deleted, then used to fuel my flamethrower. With all the hate in the world, it will never run out of energy! FoxtrotTango543 signing off . . . for now!