The Truth About Forever

The Explorer skidded sideways as I pulled into the parking lot. I slid out of the truck and jogged toward the crowd gathered around the smoldering vehicle. I spotted Stephanie in Morelli's embrace, her face buried in his chest. He nodded when he saw me, and I slowly walked over to where they stood.

"Is she okay?" I asked.

She looked up at me, and stepped away from Morelli. "Ranger, how did you know?"

I smiled. "I know everything, remember?"

She gave me a lopsided grin. "It really wasn't my fault."

"Babe, it never is."

"I'm sorry if I pulled you away from something important."

I playfully tugged at her ponytail. "You are important."

I heard Morelli clear his throat and I glanced at him. If looks could kill, I'd be a Cuban shish kabob.

"Cupcake, I'll drive you home."

Her eyes didn't leave mine. "Okay, I'll be with you in a minute."

"Do you still need me for that distraction job tomorrow night?" she asked.

"If you're up to it."

"I'll be ready."

"I'll call you tomorrow with the details. I'll have Tank drop off the Cayenne at your apartment." I nodded at the burnt out shell of her Escape. "You'll need some transportation."

"You don't have to do that, I can borrow the Buick from my grandma."

"Like I said, I'll have Tank drop off the Cayenne, I know how much you enjoy driving the land yacht."

"Stephanie…"

"Coming Joe."

I whispered. "You better go."

She smiled and mouthed 'thank you' as she backed away.

I walked over to the Explorer. I watched as Morelli opened the passenger door on the beat up cruiser, and helped her inside. He squealed the tires for affect as he drove out of the parking lot.

Asshole.

I turned to climb inside the explorer and saw a shadowed outline of someone sitting in the passenger seat. I opened the door, and saw my uncle Sal. I blinked my eyes, and took another look. We buried uncle Sal 5 years ago. I was sure of it; it was one hell of a party.

He laughed and patted the driver's seat. "You're not losing you're fucking mind Carlos, come inside."

I slid into the seat, my hand on the Sig in my waistband. He tipped his head back and laughed and I had to smile at the sound. Uncle Sal was a legend in his time. What I knew about business I learned from him. He loved the ladies, and damn if I didn't follow in his footsteps.

I looked at him and whispered. "What the fuck Sal?"

He sobered, reached up, patted the side of my face, but I couldn't feel anything.

I tried to grab his hand but I caught nothing but air in my grasp.

"I'm a ghost Carlos, I'm here to show you what an empty life you're leading."

I smiled and started the truck. I needed to get back to Rangeman. I logged 60 hours of work last week. It was finally catching up with me. After a nap and some food, I would be good to go.

I drove off the parking lot and headed toward Rangman. "You need to make a left at the light." Sal said.

I glanced in his direction, he was still riding shotgun. Maybe this is what happens when you haven't experienced a social orgasm in a couple of months. My grandmother once told me I would lose my mind if I jerked off enough; she was too fucking smart for her

own good.

Sal laughed and looked at me. "Your grandmother was trying to keep your hands out of your pants. Half the male population would be in straight jackets if that was true."

"So you are not only a ghost, but you can read my mind?" I asked.

"Scary isn't it?"

"Unfuckingbelievable." I muttered.

"Pull over to the curb."

I looked over at him. "What for?"

"Just pull the truck over, I'll show you."

I pulled to the curb and shoved the truck in park. I gave him a questioning look and saw he was staring at something over my shoulder. I slowly turned my head and felt myself fading back in time. I was standing on the sidewalk across the street in front of a diner. Stephanie was beside me and we were looking at a beat up Nova parked at the curb. It was the first time we met.

"Look at yourself Carlos. What do you see?"

"Someone that should have walked away from her and never looked back."

"Tell the truth, remember, no bullshitting me."

"Other than I look like a thug, what do you want me to see?"

"Look at her, has she changed?" He asked.

"No, she's the same."

"Can you remember what impressed you about her that day?"

"She didn't take my shit, and still doesn't."

"Did you know that day that she was different than all the other women that had passed through your life?"

"I wasn't convinced of anything."

"You don't dress like he does anymore, why?"

"It depends on what part of town I'm scoping."

"I think you dress like that when you want to be untouchable. What do you think?"

"I suppose."

"When was the last time you dressed that way around Stephanie?"

"I don't remember."

"I think you've evolved since you met her. What she thinks of you matters."

"You're full of shit Sal; this is a waste of my time." I shifted the truck into gear and pulled away from the curb.

"Believe me Carlos, what you feel for her goes way beyond the time when you get her naked."

"I've been there, done that."

"Yeah, and fucked it up. Next stop is her apartment."

"She was on her way home, why would I take you to her apartment?"

"She isn't home, believe me, I know."

I looked at him. "What are you trying to prove? You dropped women like you changed underwear. Someone sent you, to convince me, that I need someone in my life? That's fucked up, Sal."

"Carlos, life is ironic. So you will learn."

I pulled into the parking lot in front of her apartment. I looked at Sal.

"Go inside, keep an open mind and most of all observe Stephanie. You can hear her thoughts, so pay close attention."

I stepped out of the truck and made my way to her apartment. As I walked out of the stairwell on her floor, I saw total chaos in front of her doorway. Paramedics rushed inside with a stretcher. I heard people shouting, and a low keening cry of a woman. I walked into the apartment and saw myself lying in a pool of blood in the hallway. I saw Edward Scrog lying near me, obviously unconscious. Tank was holding Julie, and she was crying as he slowly rocked her against his chest. I looked in the living room and saw Joe Morelli trying to remove tape around Stephanie's wrists, where she was secured to a kitchen chair. She was rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her face. I could see her heart beating in her chest from across the room. Her thoughts were swimming in front of my eyes like closed captions on a TV screen. Every part of me wanted to pick her up, carry her away, and never let her go.

In the back of my mind, I always wondered what went on when this all went down, but now it was clear. She never said the words that were so obviously written on her face. I had to ask myself if it was my fault. Was I so unapproachable, that she was afraid to let me know how she really felt? I made no bones about the fact that I loved her, I had told her on more than one occasion. But I never let down my guard long enough to make her feel comfortable enough to tell me that she cares. Probably because I'm scared shitless that it would change everything. I backed out of the apartment and stopped cold when uncle Sal stepped in front of me.

"Leaving so soon, Carlos?"

"Living through this once was enough."

"It's a different scene when you see it from this angle, is it not?"

"So she cares, it doesn't change anything, she loves the cop too."

"But who is to say she doesn't love you more?"

"It's not going to happen Sal."

"You're running from the inevitable Carlos."

"I don't do forever."

"Ah, but you have seen what you didn't witness, and it will haunt you."

I stepped through him and walked down the stairwell. When we were back inside the truck, he looked at me. "Drive across town I want to show you something."

I drove across town and parked across the street from a house near where my parents currently live. An older man and woman sat on the front porch in a swing. The man held her hand, and obviously hung on every word that she spoke. She smiled up at him and patted his cheek. I heard Sal sigh beside me and I glanced at him. "Tell me this isn't me and Stephanie in the future?"

He stared at the couple across the street with a wistful look in his eyes. "You only wish my boy."

I looked back at the couple. "Who are they?"

"She is the love of my life, the woman I told I didn't do forever. So she did forever with him."

I looked at him in disbelief. "Sal, you had more than 200 women at your funeral who wanted to resurrect you from the dead so they could have one more go at you. You can't expect me to believe that this woman meant something to you."

"Believe it. She had my heart and soul, and I was a fool because I thought I couldn't live with just one woman. That somehow I would be less of a man if I settled down. I died a very rich and lonely man. My life meant nothing because I refused to share it with anyone."

Tears streamed silently down his face. I turned away because I had no idea what to say.

"Carlos, don't play the fool's game. Don't wake up one day and discover she's chosen to live forever with someone else."

"I'm sorry for what you lost uncle Sal, but I don't think Stephanie wants a porch swing anymore than I do."

"How do you know unless you ask?"

"I have to get back to work, is there somewhere I can drop you?"

He laughed. "My days are not about being "dropped" anywhere. My time is filled with making sure others don't make the mistakes I did."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't be, somehow I find pleasure in helping others capture what I have lost."

"I'm happy for you Sal."

"I only wish you could feel the loss I have felt, and then you would be convinced."

I felt guilty; I felt the need to appease his efforts. "Maybe you're right Sal."

"And maybe you're full of shit Carlos."

Fuck him and his ESP.

"I heard that." He smiled and disappeared into thin air. I reached out and touched the leather on the passenger seat. It was cold and vacant.

I drove to Rangeman on autopilot. I was almost to the building when I came to a screeching halt in traffic. I heard a church bell toll and felt my gut clench. I had an overwhelming urge to get out of the truck and run toward the church. The longer I sat in traffic the stronger the urge. Finally I slid out of the truck and ran two blocks to the church. I went inside and walked up the isle. The bride and groom were facing the front of the church but I could hear her voice as plain as day.

"I take you Joseph Anthony Morelli to be my wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

It was so final. It had all come full circle, and the last hour was up. All I could see was a fading vision of the little couple in the porch swing. I couldn't do anything but stand and watch as Morelli slid the ring on her finger. I tried to scream no, but no sound broke my lips. I was reduced to a mere observer. I slowly turned around and walked down the aisle. Stephanie and Morelli walked through me as they made their way down the isle as Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Morelli.

Sal was right, being alone in forever, was going to be hell.

I opened my eyes and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I scrubbed my face with my hands and groaned. It felt like the entire town of Trenton had marched through my mouth during the night. I rolled out of bed and headed for the shower, Yesterday had been one fucked up day. Stephanie had almost gotten blown sky high in a car bombing, my uncle Sal had come back to life, and haunted the shit out of me, and I dreamed Joe and Stephanie got married.

Or was it a dream?

I finished my shower in record time, and got dressed. I grabbed a bagel off the bar and headed for the door. I pulled open the door and Stephanie stood in the hallway.

With a bridal veil on her head.

"What's the matter? You look like you just saw a ghost." She pushed past me and grabbed a container of orange juice off the bar. I slowly closed the door and leaned against it, trying to suppress my out of control heart rhythm.

"What's with the veil?"

She looked at me as if I had grown another head. "Are you okay? You look like you're not feeling well. This is the wedding veil you wanted me to wear for the distraction job tonight. We're supposed to be married. I know it's a scary thought, but get over yourself."

"Oh, the distraction job, right."

She walked over to me and placed the back of her hand on my forehead. "You feel a little warm. Do you have a thermometer? I want to take your temperature."

I peeled her hand off my forehead and looked at her. "Do you think it would be so bad to be married to me?"

"Okay you're scaring me." She pulled her phone out of her handbag and started dialing. "I'm calling Ella, you're delirious."

I grabbed the cell phone out of her hand, and snapped it shut. "I'm serious as a heart attack. I'm not sick, answer the question."

"Ranger, don't get me wrong, you're hot as hell, and I have continual wet dreams about you that could supply the electric for half of Trenton, but I don't see you as marriage material."

"Okay, how do you feel about porch swings?"

She snatched the phone out of my hand and started to dial. I snatched it back and threw it across the living room. I cupped her face in my hands and lowered my mouth to hers. I kissed her until I was sure her toes were curled inside of her shoes. I pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Tell me that you care about me."

I saw her eyes mist up. "I love you."

"Is it the kind of love that comes with a ring, or just a condom?"

She stuck her tongue out and I smiled. "I believe that's my line," she said.

"Okay, is it the kind of love that comes with a porch swing?"

"What's with you and the porch swing? You in a porch swing is a little much." she whispered.

I pulled the veil down over her eyes, and leaned my forehead against hers.

"So, wet dreams huh?"

She blushed and I nudged her toward the bedroom. She glanced over her shoulder with a panicked look on her face. "I still think we should take your temperature."

"I have a special method that I've perfected that will enable you to locate my exact core temperature."

"I bet you do." She smiled and slipped past me as she headed for the door. I caught her by the arm and swung her around so she settled against my chest. A moan sipped out of her mouth that went straight to my crotch. "Ranger what are we doing?"

"I think it's necessary to practice being married, before we pretend to be married."

"Good girls get married, before they practice."

I worked my lips along her jaw line up to her ear. "You've never professed of being a good girl."

She moaned and nipped my neck with her teeth. "You make me bad, and that's so not good."

"It can be very good."

"But not for long." She pulled away from me and I pulled her back against my chest.

"But what if I want it to be?"

"Are we back to the porch swing?"

"A lot of nasty things can happen on a porch swing."

She rolled her eyes. "Something else that you've probably perfected?"

"I want to perfect it with you.'

She looked at me as she pulled the veil back away from her face. "You're serious aren't you?"

"Dead serious."

"What the hell has come over you?"

"Let's just say the truth about forever."

"And who's to say this revelation won't pass?"

"Just blame it on my uncle Sal."

"You had a talk with your uncle Sal and you decided we need to be together?"

"Exactly."

"How old is your uncle Sal?"

I smiled. "Ageless." I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and steered her toward the bedroom. I tugged on the veil and smiled. "Will you keep this on even when I get you naked?"

"Will it curb the talk about the porch swing?"

I grinned. "How do you feel about wearing it while you're naked on the porch swing?"