Disclaimer: Tenipuri is not mine…I will never ever be Konomi-sensei! If I was Ryoma and Akaya would have had more moments together…ah well fanfiction serves its main purpose so I'm happy for the most part.

A/N So started writing this ….er…some years ago…tweaked it a bit and decided to share it…whatever whatever…its AU…but not as AU as Urges was it's also not really a pairing of Akaya and Ryoma…more so an Akaya-centric and Ryoma-centric where Ryoma and Rikkai and Atobe and Nanjiroh are briefly mentioned and yeah…hopefully some one other than myself will find this enjoyable. If not, shrugs, I'll try to do better next time.

Warnings: AU, UBER OOC-ness, crack-fic…open/lazy ending, spelling, grammar, punctuation, brief blink and miss implied pairings.

Summary: A crack-fic in which Kirhara Akaya hides out in Echizen Ryoma's luggage at the request/demand of his sempai.

()()

STOWAWAY

Even with the breathing mask on Kirahara Akaya felt as though he might pass out. He wasn't sure exactly how many hours had passed since he had first climbed into the torture contraption (better known as Echizen's Ryoma's uberly large travel suitcase)

And why was Akaya in such an uncomfortable position right now? Simple because his sempai-tachi had asked him to deliver a package and the devil ace knew better than to argue with the demons of Rikkaidai.

Never mind that said demons had recently graduated and could no longer truly call themselves "sempai". But Akaya didn't care about tiny insignificant details.

Yukimura-buchou had spoken on behalf of the group and even though Akaya liked to rebel just like any other hot-blooded teenager he was not a damn fool with a death wish.

Yukimura was Yukimura and Akaya knew better than to try and argue with his former captain-the fact that he also had a teeny tiny crush on the one who was "blessed by God" had nothing to do with it.

Still…Akaya would do anything to see Yukimura smile even if it meant risking his life-okay perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration, it wasn't like he was expected to dodge a series bullets and jump through a ring of fire.

In fact Akaya was barely moving at all.

'It's my own damn fault' Akaya snarled into the darkness, his eyes glowing a fire blood shot red as he thought back on how he wound up in the suitcase in the first place.

()()

Rather than celebrating their graduation at a fine sushi bar or ramen dive or throwing some sort of extravagant party, Akaya's "Evil and Heartless" sempai dragged the devil ace out of bed in the wee hours of the morning. Akaya hadn't even had the time to brush his teeth or comb his hair.

"Today is our last official day together," Yukimura spoke on behalf of everyone. "And during this time we would like you to think back on all of the wonderful gifts we have bestowed upon you."

Akaya glared into the faces of his sempai-tachi. What the hell were they talking about and what was with the wide grins? Hell even Sanada-fukubuchou was smiling brightly beneath his black cap.

Wonderful gifts? Akaya did not understand. What gifts? Even though he had mad respect for all of his sempai (even would go so far as admitting in his own head that he thought of the older boys' as brothers he never had) they had never given him any gifts!

On the contrary his sempai-tachi had only lectured (Yanagi, Yagyuu, Jackal) slapped (Sanada) and embarrassed the hell out of him (Niou, Marui, Yukimura) during their time together. In all honesty Akaya should hate them. But he didn't…well mostly.

"We probably won't see much of each other after today but that doesn't mean you can slack off!"

Tch! Typical Sanada's words sounded more like a threat than proper encouragement.

"Rise up and become a true Emperor, Akaya!"

Still after all this time Akaya has no idea what Yanagi eyes look like when open.

"Remember to eat your fruits and veggies or Santa-sama won't bring you candies."

Seriously did Marui ever go with out having something sugary in his mouth?

"You can always come to me if you need help with your studies."

Heh, Akaya would probably have to take Yagyuu up on his offer for tutoring sessions since his English was still horrible.

"Don't forget to get as many numbers as possible, both guys and girls, always good to keep your options open, Aka-chan."

HA! Akaya always had a feeling Niou wasn't entirely straight-that confirmed it.

"And now Akaya as one final request, we would like for you to deliver a package."

"A package? What package?"

Yukimura didn't answer or rather the blue haired male didn't answer right away. But Akaya wasn't an idiot. He knew something was up.

"What's going on?"

Yukimura shook his elegant head.

Akaya was growing increasingly impatient. "Enough! Just tell me!"

"Never mind the details Aka-chan, just know that now is the best time to finally put your flexible body to good use."

The hell? Why the hell was Niou winking at him?

"The hell are you talking about? What's my flexible ability got to do with anything?"

()

At last said package was revealed. It was fairly small and square shaped wrapped in plain paper.

"Kirihara Akaya we in trust to you the task of seeing that this package is delivered to one Echizen Ryoma, do you accept?"

Yes and even after all this time Sanada's loud booming voice made Akaya a little uneasy-not that he would let it show.

With the kind of grin that would make a grown man cry Akaya accepted. "Sure, why not?"

()

Akaya sighed and scratched behind his left ear with his right foot. Soon. Soon this would all be over. Soon Echizen would open his stupid suitcase and he'd be free.

()()

Why his baka-oyagi had agreed to take the egotistical Monkey King up on his last minute offer to borrow one the Atobe-Corp privately owned jet planes in order to fly to California, Echizen Ryoma would never know.

And in all honesty he'd rather not know. He was just happy to be heading back to the US. Japan had been nice and Ryoma had met a lot of interesting people along the way but if he had to watch Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-sempai continue fondling each other day in and day out, he was going to throw up.

Not that they weren't a cute couple (because they were-yes Ryoma would it admit it if only in the privacy of his own thoughts) but there was a time and a place for everything.

The tennis courts should be strictly used for tennis-nothing more.

It mattered very little that the third years had graduated, Tezuka and Fuji were everywhere as were Kikumaru, Kawamura and Oishi. The only one who had seemingly vanished with out a trace was Inui, Kaidou had become even more withdrawn and Momo-sempai was …well no Momo-sempai was the same as ever-was planning to drop in for a visit next month.

"Oi seishounen, you're not doing anything hurry up and make yourself useful and fetch my treasure."

Ryoma was pulled from his thoughts at the loud ear-grating voice that could only belong to his father. It wasn't a very big private get plane but of course being the idiot he was, the man didn't seem to care about that.

"Go get it yourself."

After all it wasn't like Nanjiroh actually had to fly the plane. It was automatic.

"No respect I'm telling you Keigo-kun, kids these days have no respect."

Sometimes Ryoma wishes that he had been born into a different family, wished he didn't have such an idiot for a father. He knows the man is doing it on purpose just to piss him off.

"What's that Keigo-kun? Ahahahhaha oh you are too much ehehehehehe."

Ryoma narrowed his golden eyes at the side of his father's skull and announced, "The second this plane lands I'm telling Okaasan that you're cheating on her with a minor."

"Bahahahahahahha stop Keigo-kun, really you're too much."

Ryoma climbed out of his seat (not caring how reckless such a move might be) and kicked Nanjiroh in the shin.

He couldn't believe how shameless his old man was, honestly giggling over the phone like a school girl with a dumb crush-and on the damn Monkey King no less!

Actually the fact that it was Atobe on the other end is what pissed Ryoma off the most.

"Ouchhh! Damn brat! What the hell was that for?!"

"…"

"Uh-oh Keigo-kun I think we should probably stop, seishounen is getting jealous."

The hell? Ryoma's cheeks flamed and he kicked his father again. Bastard! He was not jealous. What kind of bullshit lies was his stupid oyagi telling the Monkey King?

"What's that Keigo-kun? Hehehehe wait I'll put you on speaker so he can hear it for himself."

Ryoma does his best to ignore whatever Atobe intends to say but it proves to be rather impossible-hard to block out that smooth timbre-that arrogant laughter-sounds Ryoma has heard before and won't soon forget.

"Ne, Echizen ring Ore-sama in three years, I'll not only have my rematch I'll pay you back with interest."

Ryoma might be young and he might spend 99 percent of his time thinking about tennis, tennis tennis but he's not an idiot. Did not miss the obvious implication-the hidden words in the Monkey King's little taunt. 'Bastard.'

Ignoring the fact that his face is flaming even brighter now Ryoma is ready to fire back with a snarky retort when his father's booming laughter makes him falter.

"Bahahhahahaaha maa maa Keigo-kun play nice or I'll have no choice but to reconsider other candidates."

Candidates? WTF?

Ryoma had a feeling the two were no longer discussing tennis. Far from it.

And then it happened…

"HA! Ore-sama is always up for a challenge."

Ryoma decided he has heard more than enough. Without warning he grabs the phone and smashes it, ignoring his father's angry sputtering.

"Mada, mada dane."

()()

"Oi seishounen I thought I told you to go fetch me my treasure!"

By treasure Najiroh is obviously talking about his dirty porno magazines. Ryoma promptly ignores it and turns his attention to his beloved cat, Karupin is sleeping soundly and looking as adorable as any four-legged creature has a right to look.

"Oi Ryoma I know you heard me, go and fetch my treasure."

Ryoma rolls his eyes and once more curses life for giving him such a idiotic pervert for a dad and then reluctantly rises from his seat and makes his way towards the back where the suitcases are.

()()

"Oi seishounen what's taking you so long?"

Ryoma doesn't answer right away. He unzips the suitcase-pushing aside socks and underwear he reaches for the familiar trash his old man calls treasure but finds nothing there.

A slight smirk pulls at the corner of his lips and he calls to the front, "I think Kaa-san burnt all of them, there's nothing in your bag except clothes, a stale bag of cashews and an old slip from the market."

"I put it in your case."

"Which one?"

"The green one with the white stripes."

()()

"Of all the things Ryoma would have ever expected to find in his suitcase, the blood-lust crazed second year ace from Rikkaidai was not one of them.

And technically Kirihara isn't a thing but-

"Don't you know that stalking is considering a crime?"

Kirihara only blinked at Ryoma or maybe the other boy is squinting because he's been in the dark for so long. Ryoma does not know or care.

"If you're here for some type of rematch, you'll have to take a reign check."

"…"

Ryoma cocked a brow, "How exactly did you get your foot up there anyway? No scratch that! How did you even get into my suitcase in the first place?"

Kirhara glared and then snarled, "Never mind that just move!"

"Ah it speaks." Even though Ryoma didn't appreciate the other boys' demanding tone he wasn't in the mood to start an argument.

If Kirihara had a problem with him they should settle it out on the tennis court. Not now of course but perhaps when he returned to Japan.

()

Akaya uncurled himself and then without further warning tossed the package at the prince.

"What's this?" Echizen eyed the package suspiciously. Not that Akaya had expected much else.

"Just open it!" Akaya snarled out impatiently although truthfully he was just as curious about the contents that lay inside if not more so than Echizen.

()

Just open it? What kind of game was Kirhara playing? Surely what ever was inside the box couldn't be dangerous could it? Ryoma shook the box hoping it would give him some sort of answer.

"No don't do that!"

"Heh, aren't you a little old for pranks?"

Kirihara's eyes flashed in warning and he snarled out an angry "Quit stallin' and open the damn thing already!"

()()

A package of pink bubblegum, a jar of curry, a wrinkled tie, a toy mouse and a tennis ball? At least Ryoma thinks it's a tennis ball but wait it's a little heavier than normal…still…it's worth taking a closer look at.

Mind made up Ryoma carefully placed the items (sans the ball) back into the box and then chucked it at the devil ace, "Thanks, I guess."

()

Akaya blinked feeling uberly annoyed. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. With a growl that would make a lion preen with pride, he stalked towards Echizen, effectively invading the other boy's space.

And a glaring contest ensued.

()

It lasted for hours…well no not hours 15 but long minutes that seemed like hours…only to be broken by the sound of footsteps and..

"OI seishounen where's my treas-ho? What's this? What's this! You gonna introduce me to your friend, Ryoma?"

"We're not friends!" The response is the same but one comes out as a snarl and the other a bored drawl.

Nanjiroh grinned and quickly reaches a conclusion. 'Interesting.'

The wrong conclusion.

Turning to their unexpected guest he says,

"Well I've got to hand it to you kid this is definitely a round about way to catch someone's attention but uh hahaha I give you an A for effort."

()

Akaya blinked. He couldn't tell if the guy (he's assuming its Echizen's old man-the resemblance is clear even to him) was threatening to call the cops or comparing his features to a vegetable. Damn the English language.

"Echizen why don't you go ahead and tell this guy who I am so I can be on my way."

()

Ryoma looked over at his idiotic father then at Kirhihara and then back to his father again. "I've never seen this person in my life, perhaps he's one of your fans." Turning his back to his old man and devil ace, the prince used this time to figure out what the heck was going on.

He fingers the unusually heavy tennis ball in his hand and tries to make sense of things. But comes up short. What were the members of Rikkaidai trying to tell him by presenting him with this…this whatever it was?

()

"What you got there Ryoma, something from your one of boyfriends?"

He knows his old man is just trying to get a rise out of him-it's Nanjiroh's favorite past time.

'Idiot.'

Not receiving an answer from Ryoma, Nanjiroh addresses the seaweed headed boy who snuck into his son's luggae, clear amusement dancing in his eyes,

"So stowaway, you got a name?"

FIN…

()()

Sighs…

I still have lots more to work on obviously…bahahahahaha…Next time I write for the Tenipuri verse its gonna be total AU because then that way maybe I'll come up with a more solid plot. Anyway thanks for taking the time to read.

LONG LIVE THE BRATTY PRINCE! LONG LIVE RIKKAI'S DEVIL ACE!

~SLY~