A/N: Hey Everyone! I thought I would dip my toe into the Castle fandom with this little oneshot. I hope everyone likes it.
It was still there.
She foolishly assumed that the wall she built up to protect herself after her mother's death would crumble in the wake of catching her killers. As if justice could replace a soft hug or a smile. Instead she felt empty. Completely hollow.
It had taken nearly two years for the trial to be over, two years in which her life and her job were under a microscope. Her association with Castle led to paparazzi following her, desperate to get the true story of the cop who caught her mom's killers. It was a high profile case that shook the foundation of the city.
And as of today, it was over.
He had been there today, sitting next to her, waiting for the verdict to reveal what she knew to be true.
Guilty.
Yes, there would be appeals but at least she could start to move on with her life.
It was after they made the arrests that he started to subtly push her towards something more. And she let him. She needed it. He purposely invited her over to dinner more often than not, allowed her to get closer to Alexis, closer to him.
But she couldn't take it any farther.
She chalked it up to the case not being fully resolved yet. And now, two and half years later, she was out of excuses.
Her mind flashed to what her therapist said in the months after the shooting.
'What are you really scared of? That he won't wait for you or that he will?'
She reached for the wine glass on the table and wondered what he was doing right now. He had looked hurt when she rebuffed him earlier, citing a headache as her excuse. Lainie and the boys seemed confused as to why she wasn't more ebullient but they just nodded and headed home as well. Only her dad, who gave her a quick squeeze before leaving as well, seemed to understand.
She closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch, wondering if this vacant feeling would ever leave her. Tomorrow she would get up and go to work as if it was any other day. But she wondered what it would be like to work without the spectre of her mother's case hanging over her. Would she be a better cop or a worse one?
Her mind flitted towards Castle, wondering what his answer would be and she felt a fresh stab of pain. She knew it wasn't going to wait forever, knew he wanted to be her one and done but still she couldn't let go. It was all she had, all she had been fighting for all these years.
To let go of the case meant letting go of her mother.
And she didn't know if she was ready for that.
And yet she needed him.
She needed him in her life whether she was ready for it or not. The tiny spark between them had grown and now she couldn't think of her life without him.
A knock on the door startled her out of her reverie and she knew it was him on the other side.
She set her glass down on the table and made her way to the door, trying to temper her erratic breathing.
She put her hand on the doorknob and hesitated.
Was she ready for this?
As her heart pounded heavily in her chest, she opened the door.
Castle was standing there, a tender but worried expression on his face. They didn't speak at first. Then finally he held out his hand.
"Kate."
And with that one word, and all the promise behind it, her wall began to crumble away.