Title: Hanging By a Space Between
Disclaimer: Not mine – ok, who am I kidding, they're all mine, I keep them captive in a cardboard recreation of County in my basement. The Olympics aren't the real reason there was no ER for two
weeks . . .
Summary: The Luka/Abby/Carter triangle is finally resolved, once and for all.
Spoilers: Oh, totally. Through "A Simple Twist of Fate," I guess.
`
Notes: I was in a weird mood one day, and we all know how dangerous *that* can be. And oh yeah, the songs are "Hanging by a Moment," the Carby anthem, and "The Space Between," the Luby anthem. One of em, anyway. I couldn't decide which one to use – oh the symbolism! – so I mashed them both together. I bet that's what Abby's gonna do with Carter and Luka. One big pile of dee-lish doctor. And oh yeah, the whole thing runs backwards.
---------------------------------------------
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
-----------------------------------------
The morning sunlight seeped in through Abby's bedroom window, spilling over from the sunny day outside. Abby uttered a low groan as a sunbeam hit her right in the eye; quickly she closed her eyes again and rolled over in bed.
Her eyes snapped open again as her arm hit someone else's arm next to her. It was a surprise, but a nice one; familiar yet pleasantly new.
The warmth of this moment was cut short by memories of the night before. The pain was overwhelming.
As if on cue his eyes opened slowly, and upon seeing her face, he smiled warmly. "Morning," he murmured, smiling sleepily.
"Morning," Abby repeated, turning over on her back and staring at the ceiling.
She felt an all-too familiar hand reach over and touch her bare arm; self- consciously she pulled the bed sheet closer around her. "How are you?" came the groggy voice behind her.
"I'm . . . fine," she told him, glancing over her shoulder. "You?"
"I'm great." Abby felt a soft kiss between her shoulder blades and her entire body tingled at the touch of his lips. "I'm great."
In spite of herself and all her conflicting emotions, Abby smiled. She turned over and gazed into his eyes, wondering how wrong this really could be, wondering why it had taken her so long to see it . . . "Me too."
-------------------------------------------
You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
Closer where I started
Chasing after you
---------------------------------------------
Abby let out a deep breath as she collapsed back on the bed. "That was . . ."
"Timely?"
Abby smiled slightly and turned towards him, pulling the bedsheet around her. "Unexpected," she finally told him. "Completely unexpected."
He smiled and leaned over to kiss her softly, his lips exhausted from the night's excursions. "I'll take that as a compliment."
Abby chuckled and curled closer to him, snuggling into his bare chest. "It was a pleasant surprise," she mused. "It was nice."
"Nice?"
"Very nice. Incredibly nice. Amazingly nice."
"Amazing." He grinned and rested his chin on the top of her head. "I like that."
Abby sighed and settled comfortably into his arms. This was how it should be. "I'm sorry it took me so long."
"It was worth the wait."
There was a comfortable silence, and for a moment, Abby was able to forget . . . but he interrupted her thoughts. "This wasn't pity sex, was it?"
"What?" Abby looked up at him in shock. "Of course not!"
"I know you've had a lot to deal with recently . . . I just want to make sure I'm not playing on your emotions . . ."
She shook her head. Typical of him to worry about *her* emotions – especially in a time like this. "You were a gentleman," she assured him, taking his hand and kissing it gently. "And I promise you, this wasn't for pity. This was for a lot of things, but pity wasn't one of them."
It took her the few moments between a kiss and sleep for her to assure herself that this was true. Of course it was true – she wouldn't sleep with anyone, let alone him, because of pity. The last emotion she felt before sleep washed over was an overwhelming regret quenched only with an innate satisfaction. It was right because it was right.
Goddamn it.
----------------------------------------------
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
----------------------------------------------
The kiss was deep and intense, more powerful than Abby could have ever imagined it to be. It was unexpected but felt planned, like this was destined to happen long before they'd ever met. Their first kiss had had a spark but no fireworks; every kiss after that had felt obligatory and dull. But now . . . now . . .
She moaned almost inaudibly as she felt his hands slide underneath her blouse. She could almost feel how hesitant he was, and for this she smiled into the kiss. So conscious of her feelings, when other men would already be unhooking her bra . . . his fingers seemed to be savoring the touch of her skin just as much as her skin was savoring the touch of his fingers.
Suddenly he pulled away and the kiss was ripped apart. "Am I hurting you?" he asked softly, putting a tender hand to her cheek.
Abby shook her head; surprisingly, she was telling the truth. Her cheek was still sore and her eye was barely bruised, but what she felt was an ache beyond any physical comprehension. "My face isn't what hurts," she whispered, her eyes ducking to the ground. Oh, God . . . what was she doing . . .
His fingers grazed her cheek as he kissed her nearly faded bruise. "Me too."
Their eyes locked once more, and Abby finally succumbed to the moment - wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him once again. The taste of his lips was changed, different than it had been in the past, and the more Abby deepened the passionate kiss, the more insatiable she grew. Slowly and reluctantly she broke the kiss; slowly and deliberately she sat on the bed.
He stared down at her, appearing to be afraid to move. "Abby . . . are you sure?"
She looked at him hopefully. "Are you?"
He was quiet; Abby suddenly felt the familiar ache of rejection in the pit of her stomach. But in a moment that felt like a year he sat next to her, and kissed the palm of her hand. "God, yes . . ."
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The space between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
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"Oh . . . wow . . ." Abby was lacking for words, and humiliated, she turned away from him.
He studied her carefully. "I shouldn't have said anything," he sighed, standing up from the couch. "I assumed you already knew, I guess . . ."
"No, no," Abby interrupted quickly. She looked up at him, still unsure of what to say. "I just . . . how can you say that to me?"
"I know, I know," he murmured.
"I mean, first you keep this huge secret from me –"
"I know, I was stupid –"
"Then you tell me in *public*-"
"Big mistake, I know-"
"And I can't even blame you for it!" She stared up at him, wounded. "You break my heart and I can't even fucking blame you for it. I'm supposed to think you're an asshole, not be even more in love with you."
"I understand." His words were pained and curt, and quickly he sat next to her on the couch again, taking her hand urgently. "I wish I could do it over again, but I can't. I can't change any of this."
Tears came to Abby's eyes at this, and ashamed, she looked to the floor. "I'm not angry with you," she whispered. "I'm just . . . just . . ."
Slowly he leaned over and kissed her, their lips barely touching. "I know the feeling," he mused, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Believe me, I know the feeling."
She shook her head and looked into his eyes, her tears halted for a moment. "I'm so sorry," she murmured. "This is the first time I've been in love before, I don't know how to act."
He stared into her eyes like so many times before; there was only a moment of hesitation before he leaned over and kissed her with as much passion as he ever thought possible.
---------------------------------------------
Forgetting all I'm lacking
(The space between)
Completely incomplete
(The wicked lies we tell)
I'll take your invitation
(And hope to keep us safe from the pain)
You take all of me
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"I brought you some tea," Abby told him, entering the living room from the kitchen. "I wish I had wine, or something, but I don't keep any in the house." A lie, and he probably knew it. "Is that all right?
"That's perfect," he assured her as he took the tea. "I'm not supposed to be drinking, anyway."
Abby looked at him questionably, but said nothing about it. "It's this new peach stuff, herbal or something, it's supposed to be pretty good . . ."
He took a sip of the tea and tried to swallow a grimace. "Mmmm," he managed to utter.
"All right, so it's horrible," Abby chuckled. "It was that or tap water, and even though I know you don't exactly have an elite taste in your beverages-"
"Abby-"
"I can make some coffee, maybe, but you'd have to take it black-"
"Abby-"
"I'm all out of cream and sugar, but if you want, I can go next door and ask –"
"Abby!" he exclaimed, and her attention was finally captured. "I didn't come here for a drink."
She looked at him warily. He was going to call things off, she knew it. She shouldn't have stormed out like she did, she deserved whatever she got . . . "No?"
"No." He took Abby's hand and gazed deep into her eyes. "Abby, I'm in love with you."
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But will I hold you again?
(I'm falling even more in love with you)
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
(Letting go of all I've held onto)
Like 'Will it rain today?'
(I'm standing here until you make me move)
Waste the hours with talking, talking
(I'm hanging by a moment here with you)
These twisted games we play
-------------------------------------------------
Abby quickly wiped the tears from her eyes as she answered the door. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, her swollen eyes widening in surprise.
He stood outside the door, an air of guilt and concern hanging over him like an overwhelming stench. "I had to see you."
She inhaled sharply; looking at him with something between adoration and horror, she whispered "Why?"
"I just did." He looked past her nervously, and clasped his hands together. "Can I come in?"
"Sure . . . sure," Abby told him quickly, stepping to the side so he could come in. "I . . . I'm so sorry . . ."
She began to close the door when he surprised her with a kiss -–she was caught off guard and only comprehended it after he'd pulled away. "What was that for?"
He smiled down at her and ran his fingers through a strand of her hair. "For letting me in," he told her.
Abby raised an eyebrow at this. "How exactly am I supposed to take that?" she asked, unable to hear her own doubts over the sound of her beating heart.
He smiled sadly and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "However you want."
-------------------------------------------------
I'm falling even more in love with you
(We're strange allies)
Letting go of all I've held onto
(With warring hearts)
I'm standing here until you make me move
(What wild-eyed beast you be)
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
------------------------------------------------
The cab ride home was long and excruciatingly silent. Abby leaned into the seat and sighed, wishing she hadn't left it this way, wishing she hadn't left him in that state. But she couldn't promise things that she couldn't deliver; she couldn't be promised things she knew would never come.
It took her a few seconds to realize that the cab had been stopped in front of his building for some time now. "Sorry," she muttered hastily, shoving a wad of bills at him and opening the cab door.
Breathing in the thick night air, Abby tightened the scarf around her neck and scurried up the stairs to her building. She wasn't angry, or resentful, or bitter – goddammit, she was devastated. This was the only time in her life she could actually use that word and not be exaggerating. How *dare* he make her care about her and then take it all away in one moment?
But it wasn't his fault. God, it wasn't his fault.
Abby shook her head as she furiously began to unlock her door. Of course it was his fault. He could have told her beforehand; he knew what would happen if she found out this way . . .
She'd been in the apartment long enough to collapse in tears on the couch before she heard a knock at the door.
--------------------------------------------------
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
-----------------------------------------------
She stared at him in horror, unable to breathe. "That's not fucking funny," she finally hissed.
"I'm not laughing," he murmured miserably. "It's not supposed to be funny."
Abby shook her head, her gaze unable to stay in one place for too long – her eyes flickered over the rest of restaurant - they were laughing, talking, ignoring her – she hated them.
"Abby, I know this is a lot to handle –"
"A lot to handle?" She stared at him, tearing her hand from his grasp. "A bounced check is a lot to handle. This is . . . this is . . ."
"Hell." Desperately he tried to regain eye contact with her. "This is Hell."
Abby shook her head again. Her hands were trembling and she felt like she was going to vomit. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" she whispered.
"I couldn't. Things were going so well between us, I couldn't ruin it by-"
"By telling me the truth?" Abby demanded, her voice becoming shrill. "You'd rather let me fall in love with a lie than dignify me with the truth??"
"Abby, it's not that big of a deal-"
"Not that big of a deal?!" Abby stared at him in horror.
Sheepishly he pinched the bridge of his nose. "All right, it is that big of a deal. But Abby, I'm just asking you to understand-"
She shook her head and grabbed her purse from under her seat. "I can't understand, I can't deal with this right now," she told him quickly, standing up from the table. "You promised me something that I can't ever have now."
He looked up at her quickly. "Abby . . ."
Without another word Abby turned around and left the restaurant without taking another look back. She choked back her sobs until she got out the door.
---------------------------------------------
There's nothing else to lose
(The space between)
Nothing left to find
(The wicked lies we tell)
There's nothing in the world
(Hope to keep us safe from the pain)
That could change my mind
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"This is a nice place," Abby commented as he pulled out her seat for her. Always the gentleman. "Thank you."
He smiled at her as he took the seat across from her. "You look beautiful tonight."
Abby rolled her eyes, relishing the compliment but pretending to be annoyed. "You've said that like five times. It's beginning to lose its sincerity."
"I mean it more every time I say it," he chuckled, placing the napkin in his lap.
She sighed – what was up with her loving these compliments? "Well, thanks," she told him meekly. "You look beautiful too."
He laughed and patted his hair carefully. "I did do something different with my hair today, I'm honored you noticed," he joked.
But after a moment of lingering in each other smiles – God, she wanted to kiss him again – his grin faded. "Abby, I have to tell you something . . ."
"I have to pay for dinner tonight?" she asked innocently, but the sudden seriousness in his eyes reminded her that joking was inappropriate. Her stomach churned with nervous anticipation. "What is it? . . ."
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Will I hold you again . . .
(There is nothing else . . .)
Will I hold . . .
(There is nothing else . . .)
-----------------------------------------------
Abby poked her head out the door of the exam room and scanned the admit area. She smiled briefly as she saw him walking down the hall – grabbing his arm, she whispered "I need a consult in here, doctor . . ."
"Sounds intriguing," he chuckled, allowing himself to be pulled into the room. "Hope there's no patient in there to bother us."
Abby grinned and was about to reply until she saw Chuny gaping at them from the admit desk. "Uhh, 18 year old from an MVA, complains of shortness of breath and chest pains." She flashed Chuny a reassuring smile and called "He's such a joker, isn't he?"
He looked at Abby inquisitively as she mouthed "Don't ask" and pulled him into the exam room, shutting the door behind them.
"What's so funny?" Haleh asked a giggling Chuny at the admit desk.
"Looks like Abby took our friendly advice to heart," Chuny laughed, and Haleh's eyes widened in surprise.
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Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
------------------------------------------
"Wait," she impulsively called out, and he stopped walking across the living room. "It's not that I don't feel the same way, it's that I just . . . never thought about it before." All right, so that was a lie. Whatever.
"And now you have," he informed her from the other side of the living room. "And your reaction told me the answer."
"I've had like thirty seconds!" Abby exclaimed, exasperated. "I can't have a little more time?"
"Take all the time you need," he grumbled, walking away again. "I don't care."
Abby hesitated, then crossed the living room to catch up with him. "Kiss me once more," she urged. "Give me another shot."
"Abby-"
"Will you just do it?"
"I don't-"
Without another word Abby reached up and kissed him – this one was hesitant yet certain, experimental yet somehow sure. "See?" she whispered when the kiss ended. "I just needed another chance."
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Desperate for changing the space between
Starving for truth, where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get closer to where I started
The space between the bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, chasing after you
-------------------------------------------------------------
Abby's eyes were wide open with shock, but she made no effort to pull away. "What . . ."
"No, don't ask questions," he mused, placing his hand to her bruised cheek. "Questions will ruin it."
She stared up at him. "Ruin what?"
"Oh." He blinked at her with something that obviously reflected pain. "I thought . . . never mind."
"No, tell me," Abby insisted, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. It wasn't like she didn't want to hear the answer, she just hadn't expected it . . .
He simply shook his head and turned away, his hand sliding from her cheek slowly. "I didn't think you'd feel the same way. You don't have to stay. I'll understand. I'm sorry."
Abby could only stand in the living room in shock and stare at his retreating figure in lingering surprise.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm falling even more in love with the rain that falls
Letting go of all I splash in your heart
I'm standing here like sadness down the window into
I'm hanging by the space between our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from a moment
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Wait a second," Abby insisted as the credits rolled on the TV screen. "So, that guy . . . and the thing . . . with the tattoo . . . what?!"
He laughed and pointed the remote at the TV. "It's the greatest ending ever in a movie," he informed her, stopping the tape and rewinding it.
"But I don't get it," Abby informed him, curling her legs underneath her on the couch. "What's the point of having his tattoos disappear?"
"They didn't disappear, they weren't there yet," he explained patiently, glancing over at her from the other side of the couch. "Didn't you notice the tattoo parlor at the end?"
"Oh, because it was . . . oh!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I have to see this movie again!"
"It takes a while to click," he told her with a grin. "I had to watch the ending like 15 times before it finally clicked."
"Memento – ahh, it makes sense now!" Abby exclaimed. "Tomorrow we're watching this movie again. We have to."
"I'll lend it to you," he offered.
Abby looked over at him, intrigued. "I can't come over here and watch it?"
"You've been here every night this month," he explained with a chuckle. "I assumed you were getting tired of it here."
"Nah, this place is starting to grow on me," Abby chuckled, snuggling into the couch. "Even if I do get lost on the way to the bathroom."
"It shouldn't be a challenge, the place isn't *that* big," he laughed.
"Oh come on, it's bigger than my apartment and therefore confusing," Abby informed him with a smile. "What time is it, anyway?"
"Uhh . . . 1:30," he told her.
"Shit, I'd better go," Abby sighed, reluctantly stretching her legs but making no further effort to get up. "I'm on at 7 and I'd better get some sleep."
There was an awkward silence. "You could stay over here, if you want."
Abby laughed and shook her head. "No, I don't think that would be the best idea."
"Why not?" His voice had an injured twinge to it.
"Oh, come on," she teased, glancing over at him – and realizing that he wasn't joking. "You know why, it wouldn't be appropriate."
"Abby, you've been here every day for a month now," he informed her, standing up and offering her his hand. "If I wanted to be inappropriate, I would have done it already."
She looked up at him skeptically. "I don't know . . ."
"Please?" His voice sounded almost pleading. "You wouldn't want me to be lonely here again, would you?"
Abby sighed and reluctantly took his hand. "All right, fine, but when someone at work asks me if we're sleeping together, I'm sending them to you for an explanation." She stood and looked up at him again – she was alarmed to find him gazing down at her.
"I'm not sure you'd like my answer," he murmured softly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, and as if giving her an answer, he leaned down and gave her a tentative kiss.
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I'm living for the only thing i know
(Our wicked lies)
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
(Is where)
I don't know what I'm diving into
(We hope )
Just hanging by a moment here with you
(To keep safe from pain)
------------------------------------------
Nearly two hours later his pager went off, and annoyed, he groaned. "I'm wanted back on the battlefield," he grumbled, plucking his pager off of his belt. "Sorry . . ."
"Oh, no, it's fine," Abby assured him. "I understand. I've kept you here long enough."
"Yeah," he agreed, "but it was nice. I enjoyed myself – helped me take my mind off my troubles."
Abby smiled up at him. "I'm glad."
There was a tense silence, and quickly he said "We should do it again sometime. I've forgotten what trading sob stories does for one's mental state."
"Oh, I swear by it," she assured him. "I go back to work next week, but in the meantime, if you want to get together and talk . . ."
"I'll do that." He flashed her a quick smile, then stood up from the booth. "Thank you."
She smiled back at him. "You're welcome."
------------------------------------------
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here,
Just hanging by a moment
------------------------------------------
"I guess I expected it," he finally answered, staring into his glass of Coke. "But still . . . just kind of shocked me."
Abby nodded sympathetically. "I know how you feel," she told him softly. "You've got a sneaking suspicion that it might happen, but when it does . . ."
"You feel like you've been publicly stripped and gutted," he responded dully. "And not necessarily in that order."
"Yeah, I . . . guess," Abby responded, her eyebrow raised curiously. "But after the first few days, it stops feeling so devastating. And then a month goes by and all your bitterness and resentment start to kind of go away. Soon enough you find yourself not even giving a shit, and convincing yourself that this life is better this way.
"I know." He looked up at her and gave her the faintest of smiles. "I've been through this before."
"Oh . . . right."
He was quiet for a moment. "But it's nice to hear I'm not the only one," he offered. "Lets me know I'm not as alone as I thought I was."
"50 percent of the country's population says that you're not alone," she assured him.
Their smiles met, followed by their eyes – and Abby self-consciously looked away. "But I've never heard it referred to as 'gutted and stripped,'" she chuckled.
"I ran out of euphemisms," he admitted.
His eyes met hers once again. If Abby wasn't mistaken, they looked a little happier than before.
------------------------------------------
Love is all we need here
Hanging by The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
--------------------------------------------
Abby opened the door to the lounge and was more than a little surprised to see him sitting on the sofa. Geez, talk about a coincidence – she'd just been thinking about him, and there he was . . . "Hello," she greeted meekly from the doorway.
He looked up and smiled tiredly. "Hello," he said back, but the word sounded hollow and mimicked.
Abby hesitated before stepping into the lounge, closing the door behind her. "You all right?" she asked amicably. This was strange. Either the dynamic between them had never been so forced, or she was noticing it for the first time. Or something was wrong.
He looked up at her once more, and to Abby he looked like he was on the brink of tears. "Just fine," he assured her. "Taking an unscheduled break."
"Unscheduled?" Abby looked at him uncertainly. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He looked up at her. "Not especially."
Ordinarily, that would be enough to convince Abby to leave it alone. But there was something behind his eyes, something she'd noticed before – a certain sadness that was impossible for her to ignore. "Come on, we can go over to Doc's or something, get some coffee . . . after all, you're on a break and all, and I'm not even working today . . ."
He was about to shake his head again, but reluctantly shrugged. "All right."
-----------------------------
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
----------------------------
"Hey, you're back," Haleh commented from the admit desk.
Abby smiled, but it came across as more of a grimace – her face was still tight and swollen, and she knew exactly how morbid she still looked. "Not for good yet," she told Haleh as she approached the desk. "I think I'd scare off patients like this."
"Oh, no, you look much better," Haleh said, offering a helpful smile. "Honestly."
Just then Chuny looked by and whistled in incredulous pity. "Ouch, Abby, shouldn't you be taking some more time off to heal that face? Like a year maybe?"
I gave her a thin smile. "Thanks. I'm just here to get my paycheck."
"Not here yet," Chuny informed me, and I groaned. "I'm serious though, you should take as much time as you need. Everyone comes back way too early around here. Dr. Greene with his surgery, Carter with his attack . . . they can't stay away."
"Don't forget Mark's attack, too," Haleh reminded her. "He practically wanted to get off the gurney and finish his shift that same day."
"Oh, right, I forgot about that," Chuny recollected.
"Dr. Greene was attacked?" Abby asked curiously. "When was this?"
"Oh, God, long time ago . . . four or five years, I think," Chuny informed her. "They never caught the guy who did it, either. He looked even worse than you."
"That was *not* a great time to be working with Mark Greene," Haleh sighed. "Between that and Susan Lewis leaving, he was so pissy . . ."
"Pissy?" Chuny asked skeptically. "He got the separation papers from Corday today. Talk about pissy." She chuckled slightly and skimmed over a chart from the rack. "Besides, I wouldn't say that was such a bad time to be sleeping with Mark – oops, *working* with Mark . . ."
"You slept with Greene?" Abby asked incredulously.
Chuny nodded with pride; Haleh rolled her eyes. "You went out for a week," she informed Chuny, "and that was *beforehand.*"
Abby shook her head. "I just can't see it, I guess."
"It's not that hard to see," Chuny told her with a grin. "He's a really great guy, which is something I can't say about the rest of the guys I've dated. You can talk to him and he actually listens."
"During sex?" Abby asked skeptically.
Chuny scowled at her, but the grin remained. "*No*, about other stuff. He's a good friend."
"But he can be a bitch when he wants to be," Haleh commented, and Chuny smacked her in the arm.
Abby smiled, but she contemplated what she'd heard. Greene – a good listener? He'd always seemed like a nice person, but for some reason she'd never thought of him as anything but "Dr. Greene." It surprised her to hear that he'd had gone through almost the same thing she had – relative of a patient, his attacker never punished for what he did . . . it was very familiar to her. She'd been having a hard time with the whole situation, what with staring at her bruised reflection every day and knowing Brian was out there somewhere. She'd tried to talk to Luka about it but was afraid of what he might do – it would be characteristic of him to go to drastic measures to protect her. Abby didn't need protection. She needed someone to talk to.
That's where she assumed Carter would come in. Even though he'd insisted that he wasn't "her girlfriend," Carter was an excellent listener and gave great advice. But there was no way in hell she could talk to him about her attack – he was still bitter about his own more than two years ago. True, he couldn't be expected to heal immediately after being stabbed with a butcher knife, but Abby couldn't deal with how irritable Carter got whenever he thought of his attack. And expressing her own fears about Brian wouldn't exactly be suitable for Carter, either.
But Dr. Greene, now. He'd always seemed cordial and friendly, and she'd only heard vague rumors about him and Corday. Maybe she'd think about talking to him one of these days.
After all, what could come of it?
--------------------------------------------
Is the space we'll fill with time
Hanging by a moment
The space between
Hanging by a moment here with you
---------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Not mine – ok, who am I kidding, they're all mine, I keep them captive in a cardboard recreation of County in my basement. The Olympics aren't the real reason there was no ER for two
weeks . . .
Summary: The Luka/Abby/Carter triangle is finally resolved, once and for all.
Spoilers: Oh, totally. Through "A Simple Twist of Fate," I guess.
`
Notes: I was in a weird mood one day, and we all know how dangerous *that* can be. And oh yeah, the songs are "Hanging by a Moment," the Carby anthem, and "The Space Between," the Luby anthem. One of em, anyway. I couldn't decide which one to use – oh the symbolism! – so I mashed them both together. I bet that's what Abby's gonna do with Carter and Luka. One big pile of dee-lish doctor. And oh yeah, the whole thing runs backwards.
---------------------------------------------
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
-----------------------------------------
The morning sunlight seeped in through Abby's bedroom window, spilling over from the sunny day outside. Abby uttered a low groan as a sunbeam hit her right in the eye; quickly she closed her eyes again and rolled over in bed.
Her eyes snapped open again as her arm hit someone else's arm next to her. It was a surprise, but a nice one; familiar yet pleasantly new.
The warmth of this moment was cut short by memories of the night before. The pain was overwhelming.
As if on cue his eyes opened slowly, and upon seeing her face, he smiled warmly. "Morning," he murmured, smiling sleepily.
"Morning," Abby repeated, turning over on her back and staring at the ceiling.
She felt an all-too familiar hand reach over and touch her bare arm; self- consciously she pulled the bed sheet closer around her. "How are you?" came the groggy voice behind her.
"I'm . . . fine," she told him, glancing over her shoulder. "You?"
"I'm great." Abby felt a soft kiss between her shoulder blades and her entire body tingled at the touch of his lips. "I'm great."
In spite of herself and all her conflicting emotions, Abby smiled. She turned over and gazed into his eyes, wondering how wrong this really could be, wondering why it had taken her so long to see it . . . "Me too."
-------------------------------------------
You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
Closer where I started
Chasing after you
---------------------------------------------
Abby let out a deep breath as she collapsed back on the bed. "That was . . ."
"Timely?"
Abby smiled slightly and turned towards him, pulling the bedsheet around her. "Unexpected," she finally told him. "Completely unexpected."
He smiled and leaned over to kiss her softly, his lips exhausted from the night's excursions. "I'll take that as a compliment."
Abby chuckled and curled closer to him, snuggling into his bare chest. "It was a pleasant surprise," she mused. "It was nice."
"Nice?"
"Very nice. Incredibly nice. Amazingly nice."
"Amazing." He grinned and rested his chin on the top of her head. "I like that."
Abby sighed and settled comfortably into his arms. This was how it should be. "I'm sorry it took me so long."
"It was worth the wait."
There was a comfortable silence, and for a moment, Abby was able to forget . . . but he interrupted her thoughts. "This wasn't pity sex, was it?"
"What?" Abby looked up at him in shock. "Of course not!"
"I know you've had a lot to deal with recently . . . I just want to make sure I'm not playing on your emotions . . ."
She shook her head. Typical of him to worry about *her* emotions – especially in a time like this. "You were a gentleman," she assured him, taking his hand and kissing it gently. "And I promise you, this wasn't for pity. This was for a lot of things, but pity wasn't one of them."
It took her the few moments between a kiss and sleep for her to assure herself that this was true. Of course it was true – she wouldn't sleep with anyone, let alone him, because of pity. The last emotion she felt before sleep washed over was an overwhelming regret quenched only with an innate satisfaction. It was right because it was right.
Goddamn it.
----------------------------------------------
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
----------------------------------------------
The kiss was deep and intense, more powerful than Abby could have ever imagined it to be. It was unexpected but felt planned, like this was destined to happen long before they'd ever met. Their first kiss had had a spark but no fireworks; every kiss after that had felt obligatory and dull. But now . . . now . . .
She moaned almost inaudibly as she felt his hands slide underneath her blouse. She could almost feel how hesitant he was, and for this she smiled into the kiss. So conscious of her feelings, when other men would already be unhooking her bra . . . his fingers seemed to be savoring the touch of her skin just as much as her skin was savoring the touch of his fingers.
Suddenly he pulled away and the kiss was ripped apart. "Am I hurting you?" he asked softly, putting a tender hand to her cheek.
Abby shook her head; surprisingly, she was telling the truth. Her cheek was still sore and her eye was barely bruised, but what she felt was an ache beyond any physical comprehension. "My face isn't what hurts," she whispered, her eyes ducking to the ground. Oh, God . . . what was she doing . . .
His fingers grazed her cheek as he kissed her nearly faded bruise. "Me too."
Their eyes locked once more, and Abby finally succumbed to the moment - wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him once again. The taste of his lips was changed, different than it had been in the past, and the more Abby deepened the passionate kiss, the more insatiable she grew. Slowly and reluctantly she broke the kiss; slowly and deliberately she sat on the bed.
He stared down at her, appearing to be afraid to move. "Abby . . . are you sure?"
She looked at him hopefully. "Are you?"
He was quiet; Abby suddenly felt the familiar ache of rejection in the pit of her stomach. But in a moment that felt like a year he sat next to her, and kissed the palm of her hand. "God, yes . . ."
-----------------------------------------------
The space between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
----------------------------------------------
"Oh . . . wow . . ." Abby was lacking for words, and humiliated, she turned away from him.
He studied her carefully. "I shouldn't have said anything," he sighed, standing up from the couch. "I assumed you already knew, I guess . . ."
"No, no," Abby interrupted quickly. She looked up at him, still unsure of what to say. "I just . . . how can you say that to me?"
"I know, I know," he murmured.
"I mean, first you keep this huge secret from me –"
"I know, I was stupid –"
"Then you tell me in *public*-"
"Big mistake, I know-"
"And I can't even blame you for it!" She stared up at him, wounded. "You break my heart and I can't even fucking blame you for it. I'm supposed to think you're an asshole, not be even more in love with you."
"I understand." His words were pained and curt, and quickly he sat next to her on the couch again, taking her hand urgently. "I wish I could do it over again, but I can't. I can't change any of this."
Tears came to Abby's eyes at this, and ashamed, she looked to the floor. "I'm not angry with you," she whispered. "I'm just . . . just . . ."
Slowly he leaned over and kissed her, their lips barely touching. "I know the feeling," he mused, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Believe me, I know the feeling."
She shook her head and looked into his eyes, her tears halted for a moment. "I'm so sorry," she murmured. "This is the first time I've been in love before, I don't know how to act."
He stared into her eyes like so many times before; there was only a moment of hesitation before he leaned over and kissed her with as much passion as he ever thought possible.
---------------------------------------------
Forgetting all I'm lacking
(The space between)
Completely incomplete
(The wicked lies we tell)
I'll take your invitation
(And hope to keep us safe from the pain)
You take all of me
-----------------------------------------------
"I brought you some tea," Abby told him, entering the living room from the kitchen. "I wish I had wine, or something, but I don't keep any in the house." A lie, and he probably knew it. "Is that all right?
"That's perfect," he assured her as he took the tea. "I'm not supposed to be drinking, anyway."
Abby looked at him questionably, but said nothing about it. "It's this new peach stuff, herbal or something, it's supposed to be pretty good . . ."
He took a sip of the tea and tried to swallow a grimace. "Mmmm," he managed to utter.
"All right, so it's horrible," Abby chuckled. "It was that or tap water, and even though I know you don't exactly have an elite taste in your beverages-"
"Abby-"
"I can make some coffee, maybe, but you'd have to take it black-"
"Abby-"
"I'm all out of cream and sugar, but if you want, I can go next door and ask –"
"Abby!" he exclaimed, and her attention was finally captured. "I didn't come here for a drink."
She looked at him warily. He was going to call things off, she knew it. She shouldn't have stormed out like she did, she deserved whatever she got . . . "No?"
"No." He took Abby's hand and gazed deep into her eyes. "Abby, I'm in love with you."
----------------------------------------------
But will I hold you again?
(I'm falling even more in love with you)
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
(Letting go of all I've held onto)
Like 'Will it rain today?'
(I'm standing here until you make me move)
Waste the hours with talking, talking
(I'm hanging by a moment here with you)
These twisted games we play
-------------------------------------------------
Abby quickly wiped the tears from her eyes as she answered the door. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, her swollen eyes widening in surprise.
He stood outside the door, an air of guilt and concern hanging over him like an overwhelming stench. "I had to see you."
She inhaled sharply; looking at him with something between adoration and horror, she whispered "Why?"
"I just did." He looked past her nervously, and clasped his hands together. "Can I come in?"
"Sure . . . sure," Abby told him quickly, stepping to the side so he could come in. "I . . . I'm so sorry . . ."
She began to close the door when he surprised her with a kiss -–she was caught off guard and only comprehended it after he'd pulled away. "What was that for?"
He smiled down at her and ran his fingers through a strand of her hair. "For letting me in," he told her.
Abby raised an eyebrow at this. "How exactly am I supposed to take that?" she asked, unable to hear her own doubts over the sound of her beating heart.
He smiled sadly and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "However you want."
-------------------------------------------------
I'm falling even more in love with you
(We're strange allies)
Letting go of all I've held onto
(With warring hearts)
I'm standing here until you make me move
(What wild-eyed beast you be)
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
------------------------------------------------
The cab ride home was long and excruciatingly silent. Abby leaned into the seat and sighed, wishing she hadn't left it this way, wishing she hadn't left him in that state. But she couldn't promise things that she couldn't deliver; she couldn't be promised things she knew would never come.
It took her a few seconds to realize that the cab had been stopped in front of his building for some time now. "Sorry," she muttered hastily, shoving a wad of bills at him and opening the cab door.
Breathing in the thick night air, Abby tightened the scarf around her neck and scurried up the stairs to her building. She wasn't angry, or resentful, or bitter – goddammit, she was devastated. This was the only time in her life she could actually use that word and not be exaggerating. How *dare* he make her care about her and then take it all away in one moment?
But it wasn't his fault. God, it wasn't his fault.
Abby shook her head as she furiously began to unlock her door. Of course it was his fault. He could have told her beforehand; he knew what would happen if she found out this way . . .
She'd been in the apartment long enough to collapse in tears on the couch before she heard a knock at the door.
--------------------------------------------------
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
-----------------------------------------------
She stared at him in horror, unable to breathe. "That's not fucking funny," she finally hissed.
"I'm not laughing," he murmured miserably. "It's not supposed to be funny."
Abby shook her head, her gaze unable to stay in one place for too long – her eyes flickered over the rest of restaurant - they were laughing, talking, ignoring her – she hated them.
"Abby, I know this is a lot to handle –"
"A lot to handle?" She stared at him, tearing her hand from his grasp. "A bounced check is a lot to handle. This is . . . this is . . ."
"Hell." Desperately he tried to regain eye contact with her. "This is Hell."
Abby shook her head again. Her hands were trembling and she felt like she was going to vomit. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" she whispered.
"I couldn't. Things were going so well between us, I couldn't ruin it by-"
"By telling me the truth?" Abby demanded, her voice becoming shrill. "You'd rather let me fall in love with a lie than dignify me with the truth??"
"Abby, it's not that big of a deal-"
"Not that big of a deal?!" Abby stared at him in horror.
Sheepishly he pinched the bridge of his nose. "All right, it is that big of a deal. But Abby, I'm just asking you to understand-"
She shook her head and grabbed her purse from under her seat. "I can't understand, I can't deal with this right now," she told him quickly, standing up from the table. "You promised me something that I can't ever have now."
He looked up at her quickly. "Abby . . ."
Without another word Abby turned around and left the restaurant without taking another look back. She choked back her sobs until she got out the door.
---------------------------------------------
There's nothing else to lose
(The space between)
Nothing left to find
(The wicked lies we tell)
There's nothing in the world
(Hope to keep us safe from the pain)
That could change my mind
-----------------------------------------------
"This is a nice place," Abby commented as he pulled out her seat for her. Always the gentleman. "Thank you."
He smiled at her as he took the seat across from her. "You look beautiful tonight."
Abby rolled her eyes, relishing the compliment but pretending to be annoyed. "You've said that like five times. It's beginning to lose its sincerity."
"I mean it more every time I say it," he chuckled, placing the napkin in his lap.
She sighed – what was up with her loving these compliments? "Well, thanks," she told him meekly. "You look beautiful too."
He laughed and patted his hair carefully. "I did do something different with my hair today, I'm honored you noticed," he joked.
But after a moment of lingering in each other smiles – God, she wanted to kiss him again – his grin faded. "Abby, I have to tell you something . . ."
"I have to pay for dinner tonight?" she asked innocently, but the sudden seriousness in his eyes reminded her that joking was inappropriate. Her stomach churned with nervous anticipation. "What is it? . . ."
----------------------------------------------
Will I hold you again . . .
(There is nothing else . . .)
Will I hold . . .
(There is nothing else . . .)
-----------------------------------------------
Abby poked her head out the door of the exam room and scanned the admit area. She smiled briefly as she saw him walking down the hall – grabbing his arm, she whispered "I need a consult in here, doctor . . ."
"Sounds intriguing," he chuckled, allowing himself to be pulled into the room. "Hope there's no patient in there to bother us."
Abby grinned and was about to reply until she saw Chuny gaping at them from the admit desk. "Uhh, 18 year old from an MVA, complains of shortness of breath and chest pains." She flashed Chuny a reassuring smile and called "He's such a joker, isn't he?"
He looked at Abby inquisitively as she mouthed "Don't ask" and pulled him into the exam room, shutting the door behind them.
"What's so funny?" Haleh asked a giggling Chuny at the admit desk.
"Looks like Abby took our friendly advice to heart," Chuny laughed, and Haleh's eyes widened in surprise.
-------------------------------------------------
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
------------------------------------------
"Wait," she impulsively called out, and he stopped walking across the living room. "It's not that I don't feel the same way, it's that I just . . . never thought about it before." All right, so that was a lie. Whatever.
"And now you have," he informed her from the other side of the living room. "And your reaction told me the answer."
"I've had like thirty seconds!" Abby exclaimed, exasperated. "I can't have a little more time?"
"Take all the time you need," he grumbled, walking away again. "I don't care."
Abby hesitated, then crossed the living room to catch up with him. "Kiss me once more," she urged. "Give me another shot."
"Abby-"
"Will you just do it?"
"I don't-"
Without another word Abby reached up and kissed him – this one was hesitant yet certain, experimental yet somehow sure. "See?" she whispered when the kiss ended. "I just needed another chance."
------------------------------------------------------
Desperate for changing the space between
Starving for truth, where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get closer to where I started
The space between the bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, chasing after you
-------------------------------------------------------------
Abby's eyes were wide open with shock, but she made no effort to pull away. "What . . ."
"No, don't ask questions," he mused, placing his hand to her bruised cheek. "Questions will ruin it."
She stared up at him. "Ruin what?"
"Oh." He blinked at her with something that obviously reflected pain. "I thought . . . never mind."
"No, tell me," Abby insisted, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. It wasn't like she didn't want to hear the answer, she just hadn't expected it . . .
He simply shook his head and turned away, his hand sliding from her cheek slowly. "I didn't think you'd feel the same way. You don't have to stay. I'll understand. I'm sorry."
Abby could only stand in the living room in shock and stare at his retreating figure in lingering surprise.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm falling even more in love with the rain that falls
Letting go of all I splash in your heart
I'm standing here like sadness down the window into
I'm hanging by the space between our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from a moment
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Wait a second," Abby insisted as the credits rolled on the TV screen. "So, that guy . . . and the thing . . . with the tattoo . . . what?!"
He laughed and pointed the remote at the TV. "It's the greatest ending ever in a movie," he informed her, stopping the tape and rewinding it.
"But I don't get it," Abby informed him, curling her legs underneath her on the couch. "What's the point of having his tattoos disappear?"
"They didn't disappear, they weren't there yet," he explained patiently, glancing over at her from the other side of the couch. "Didn't you notice the tattoo parlor at the end?"
"Oh, because it was . . . oh!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I have to see this movie again!"
"It takes a while to click," he told her with a grin. "I had to watch the ending like 15 times before it finally clicked."
"Memento – ahh, it makes sense now!" Abby exclaimed. "Tomorrow we're watching this movie again. We have to."
"I'll lend it to you," he offered.
Abby looked over at him, intrigued. "I can't come over here and watch it?"
"You've been here every night this month," he explained with a chuckle. "I assumed you were getting tired of it here."
"Nah, this place is starting to grow on me," Abby chuckled, snuggling into the couch. "Even if I do get lost on the way to the bathroom."
"It shouldn't be a challenge, the place isn't *that* big," he laughed.
"Oh come on, it's bigger than my apartment and therefore confusing," Abby informed him with a smile. "What time is it, anyway?"
"Uhh . . . 1:30," he told her.
"Shit, I'd better go," Abby sighed, reluctantly stretching her legs but making no further effort to get up. "I'm on at 7 and I'd better get some sleep."
There was an awkward silence. "You could stay over here, if you want."
Abby laughed and shook her head. "No, I don't think that would be the best idea."
"Why not?" His voice had an injured twinge to it.
"Oh, come on," she teased, glancing over at him – and realizing that he wasn't joking. "You know why, it wouldn't be appropriate."
"Abby, you've been here every day for a month now," he informed her, standing up and offering her his hand. "If I wanted to be inappropriate, I would have done it already."
She looked up at him skeptically. "I don't know . . ."
"Please?" His voice sounded almost pleading. "You wouldn't want me to be lonely here again, would you?"
Abby sighed and reluctantly took his hand. "All right, fine, but when someone at work asks me if we're sleeping together, I'm sending them to you for an explanation." She stood and looked up at him again – she was alarmed to find him gazing down at her.
"I'm not sure you'd like my answer," he murmured softly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, and as if giving her an answer, he leaned down and gave her a tentative kiss.
------------------------------------------------------
I'm living for the only thing i know
(Our wicked lies)
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
(Is where)
I don't know what I'm diving into
(We hope )
Just hanging by a moment here with you
(To keep safe from pain)
------------------------------------------
Nearly two hours later his pager went off, and annoyed, he groaned. "I'm wanted back on the battlefield," he grumbled, plucking his pager off of his belt. "Sorry . . ."
"Oh, no, it's fine," Abby assured him. "I understand. I've kept you here long enough."
"Yeah," he agreed, "but it was nice. I enjoyed myself – helped me take my mind off my troubles."
Abby smiled up at him. "I'm glad."
There was a tense silence, and quickly he said "We should do it again sometime. I've forgotten what trading sob stories does for one's mental state."
"Oh, I swear by it," she assured him. "I go back to work next week, but in the meantime, if you want to get together and talk . . ."
"I'll do that." He flashed her a quick smile, then stood up from the booth. "Thank you."
She smiled back at him. "You're welcome."
------------------------------------------
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here,
Just hanging by a moment
------------------------------------------
"I guess I expected it," he finally answered, staring into his glass of Coke. "But still . . . just kind of shocked me."
Abby nodded sympathetically. "I know how you feel," she told him softly. "You've got a sneaking suspicion that it might happen, but when it does . . ."
"You feel like you've been publicly stripped and gutted," he responded dully. "And not necessarily in that order."
"Yeah, I . . . guess," Abby responded, her eyebrow raised curiously. "But after the first few days, it stops feeling so devastating. And then a month goes by and all your bitterness and resentment start to kind of go away. Soon enough you find yourself not even giving a shit, and convincing yourself that this life is better this way.
"I know." He looked up at her and gave her the faintest of smiles. "I've been through this before."
"Oh . . . right."
He was quiet for a moment. "But it's nice to hear I'm not the only one," he offered. "Lets me know I'm not as alone as I thought I was."
"50 percent of the country's population says that you're not alone," she assured him.
Their smiles met, followed by their eyes – and Abby self-consciously looked away. "But I've never heard it referred to as 'gutted and stripped,'" she chuckled.
"I ran out of euphemisms," he admitted.
His eyes met hers once again. If Abby wasn't mistaken, they looked a little happier than before.
------------------------------------------
Love is all we need here
Hanging by The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
--------------------------------------------
Abby opened the door to the lounge and was more than a little surprised to see him sitting on the sofa. Geez, talk about a coincidence – she'd just been thinking about him, and there he was . . . "Hello," she greeted meekly from the doorway.
He looked up and smiled tiredly. "Hello," he said back, but the word sounded hollow and mimicked.
Abby hesitated before stepping into the lounge, closing the door behind her. "You all right?" she asked amicably. This was strange. Either the dynamic between them had never been so forced, or she was noticing it for the first time. Or something was wrong.
He looked up at her once more, and to Abby he looked like he was on the brink of tears. "Just fine," he assured her. "Taking an unscheduled break."
"Unscheduled?" Abby looked at him uncertainly. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He looked up at her. "Not especially."
Ordinarily, that would be enough to convince Abby to leave it alone. But there was something behind his eyes, something she'd noticed before – a certain sadness that was impossible for her to ignore. "Come on, we can go over to Doc's or something, get some coffee . . . after all, you're on a break and all, and I'm not even working today . . ."
He was about to shake his head again, but reluctantly shrugged. "All right."
-----------------------------
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
----------------------------
"Hey, you're back," Haleh commented from the admit desk.
Abby smiled, but it came across as more of a grimace – her face was still tight and swollen, and she knew exactly how morbid she still looked. "Not for good yet," she told Haleh as she approached the desk. "I think I'd scare off patients like this."
"Oh, no, you look much better," Haleh said, offering a helpful smile. "Honestly."
Just then Chuny looked by and whistled in incredulous pity. "Ouch, Abby, shouldn't you be taking some more time off to heal that face? Like a year maybe?"
I gave her a thin smile. "Thanks. I'm just here to get my paycheck."
"Not here yet," Chuny informed me, and I groaned. "I'm serious though, you should take as much time as you need. Everyone comes back way too early around here. Dr. Greene with his surgery, Carter with his attack . . . they can't stay away."
"Don't forget Mark's attack, too," Haleh reminded her. "He practically wanted to get off the gurney and finish his shift that same day."
"Oh, right, I forgot about that," Chuny recollected.
"Dr. Greene was attacked?" Abby asked curiously. "When was this?"
"Oh, God, long time ago . . . four or five years, I think," Chuny informed her. "They never caught the guy who did it, either. He looked even worse than you."
"That was *not* a great time to be working with Mark Greene," Haleh sighed. "Between that and Susan Lewis leaving, he was so pissy . . ."
"Pissy?" Chuny asked skeptically. "He got the separation papers from Corday today. Talk about pissy." She chuckled slightly and skimmed over a chart from the rack. "Besides, I wouldn't say that was such a bad time to be sleeping with Mark – oops, *working* with Mark . . ."
"You slept with Greene?" Abby asked incredulously.
Chuny nodded with pride; Haleh rolled her eyes. "You went out for a week," she informed Chuny, "and that was *beforehand.*"
Abby shook her head. "I just can't see it, I guess."
"It's not that hard to see," Chuny told her with a grin. "He's a really great guy, which is something I can't say about the rest of the guys I've dated. You can talk to him and he actually listens."
"During sex?" Abby asked skeptically.
Chuny scowled at her, but the grin remained. "*No*, about other stuff. He's a good friend."
"But he can be a bitch when he wants to be," Haleh commented, and Chuny smacked her in the arm.
Abby smiled, but she contemplated what she'd heard. Greene – a good listener? He'd always seemed like a nice person, but for some reason she'd never thought of him as anything but "Dr. Greene." It surprised her to hear that he'd had gone through almost the same thing she had – relative of a patient, his attacker never punished for what he did . . . it was very familiar to her. She'd been having a hard time with the whole situation, what with staring at her bruised reflection every day and knowing Brian was out there somewhere. She'd tried to talk to Luka about it but was afraid of what he might do – it would be characteristic of him to go to drastic measures to protect her. Abby didn't need protection. She needed someone to talk to.
That's where she assumed Carter would come in. Even though he'd insisted that he wasn't "her girlfriend," Carter was an excellent listener and gave great advice. But there was no way in hell she could talk to him about her attack – he was still bitter about his own more than two years ago. True, he couldn't be expected to heal immediately after being stabbed with a butcher knife, but Abby couldn't deal with how irritable Carter got whenever he thought of his attack. And expressing her own fears about Brian wouldn't exactly be suitable for Carter, either.
But Dr. Greene, now. He'd always seemed cordial and friendly, and she'd only heard vague rumors about him and Corday. Maybe she'd think about talking to him one of these days.
After all, what could come of it?
--------------------------------------------
Is the space we'll fill with time
Hanging by a moment
The space between
Hanging by a moment here with you
---------------------------------------------