Where the Heart Rests

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Barbara looked up from her screen with a jolt as a knock sounded at the door. Taking the batons resting beside her computer and tucking them into the sheaths installed on her wheelchair, she went to answer the door.

"Hi, Babs."

"Dick…" It was almost a breath more than it was a word. A flush coloured Dick Grayson's cheeks and a smile he'd been waiting to feel formed on his lips.

"I…" he began to say, and instead paused. His eyes settled onto a delicate gold chain around Barbara's neck. He knelt in front of her. The chain was weighted, holding something concealed by her low-necked sweater. Gently sliding his finger underneath the chain, he lifted it free of the sweater bringing its pendant into view. Barbara smiled as he let it fall to rest again.

"Barbara, life is insane. It doesn't make sense to me. Things that bring me unmatched joy cause pain for you. I think I've started to understand something. I kept selfishly hoping that things I love to remember about you, would lift your spirits the same way they do for me. I would mention the Joker and never understood why that wasn't the thing that caused you pain, and some of the memories I love most are. I wish these memories were for you what they are to me. I want to be able to look at you, to remember, to smile, and see you able to do the same for the same reason. I look to times before you were hurt for those kinds of memories because it seems so full of them…" Dick had to stop for a moment to be sure his throat wouldn't close up on him, trying to get the last of it out. Taking Barbara's hand in his he kissed the back of it and held it firmly as he rested his other hand on her waist. She held onto him in return, gently resting her other hand on his cheek.

"I can remember you telling me that you're happy with the life you have now. That life is only different, and might be better in some ways. The memories we're finding now – they're the same. Better than any we had before. I remember the thrill of falling from an airplane 4000 feet up in the air, of having you strapped tight to me, and being thanked for it…"

He couldn't help but laugh and smile at the fact that she very well could have ended up cursing him, and it was highly likely any other woman might have. Not Barbara Gordon. Barb was smiling too, for the love of the memory, and the realization that it was happening - that they could recall memories with a shared measure of joy.

"I…remember swinging on a trapeze and the look of relief and joy on your face when you were caught instead of falling. I remember us having no choice but to do these things in each other's arms if we want to experience them together. And seeing that made me realize you were right. That's the way I want my memories of you that bring me joy to be. I don't want them to happen because you had to end up in my arms in the face of a terrible threat. We can make the present and the future as great to remember as the past. It might mean times are a little rougher, a little darker for now, but pretty soon we'll look back and see this shadow we're under start to pass. And - if you're willing to wait – it'll be sixty short years and I'll be joining you in one of these." Dick gave the wheelchair's arm a pat. Barb couldn't help a short laugh.

"Doesn't sound so bad, does it?" Dick said, giving her hand another kiss and holding it to his cheek. Barb felt so in love with this moment, with the man who wanted to share it with her, that she almost hated herself for the thought she allowed to intrude.

"What if this is it, Dick?"

"What…?!"

"I…I'm sorry. Just hold on a moment and let me say this…What if…this is it? What if this is as high as we go? If this is as thrilling as it gets? What happens then?"

Dick couldn't hold himself back. The barrier was gone…if he never kissed her again, this would be the one he'd treasure until the day they put him in the ground. She melted into the kiss, feeling the tension in her arms and back evaporate, as her heart pounded.

"Give us the chance, Babs. If the rush of a kiss, a touch, is the highest we ever again go, it's enough. Isn't it?" Dick could feel his lower lip begin to quiver. Barb's jumbled emotions took a painfully long time to settle.

"Yeah…yes. It is." Barbara let herself smile. And she couldn't believe the warmth she felt then. It wasn't the warmth of attraction, of proximity. The emotion itself was such comforting warmth that it flooded every fibre of her being.

"You know why I say life's insane, Babs?"

She fixed her gaze on him and shook her head. There were too many reasons to choose from to try and sum them up with one.

"Because, despite how many terrible people - terrible monsters - I've seen in this life, I don't think I've ever been terrified of anything like I was a moment ago." He laughed and rose, taking her in his arms and up out of the wheelchair.

"I'm sorry, Dick. I'm sorry for that." Dick laughed. It was a wonderful sound.

"God, if that's the worst you ever have to be sorry for, you're already forgiven. I love you, Barbara Gordon."

"Merciful heavens, I do love you, Richard Grayson. I love you." Barbara smiled and pulled him into another kiss. When she pulled away from it she did so in surprise as she felt her mattress beneath her.

"Dick…"

"Babs, can you do something for me?"

"If I can I will." Dick breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you. I'm going to get us some comfortable clothes, we're gonna put them on, and I am going to sleep like a baby in your arms. Can you do that for me?" Barbara laughed and mostly at herself.

"God, I never thought that I'd say this but you do realize I'm not going to sleep for wanting you?"

"I know, but if I have to hold myself up any longer...sheer will got me here. My legs gave up a long time ago. And the rest of me can't wait to follow suit." Barb smiled and placed a comforting kiss on Dick's forehead.

"Sleep."

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A few minutes later as they lay down to sleep…

"Thank you." Barb smiled and pressed Dick's clasped hands to the skin of her stomach as she began to doze.

"Don't thank me yet. In the morning you're going to owe me something for it."

"Mmm. Gladly…" A sick day sounded like a fantastic idea.

"Good night."

"Mmnn."