"Boromir claimed the errand and would not suffer any other to have it. He was a masterful man, and one to take what he desired. I journeyed far with him and learned much of his mood." - Gandalf, speaking to the steward Denethor in Return of the King.
Five days after leaving Lothlórien, Aragorn and Boromir carried the Company's three boats past Sarn Gebir, a set of rapids. It needed the strength of two Men to lift and haul even Elven craft over the ground that the Company now had to cross. It sloped up away from the River, a tumbled waste of grey limestone boulders, with many hidden holes shrouded with weeds and bushes. There were thickets of brambles, and sheer dells; and here and there boggy pools fed by waters trickling from the terraces further inland. One by one Boromir and Aragorn carried the boats, while the others toiled and scrambled after them with the baggage. It took the entire day to make the portage.
"Let us rest all we can now," said Aragorn. "Tomorrow we must journey by day again. Unless the weather changes once more and cheats us, we shall have a good chance of slipping through, unseen by any eyes on the eastern shore. But tonight two must watch together in turns: three hours off and one on guard."'
"Legolas should watch with me," said Boromir. "Then each watch has a set of keen eyes for the dark - a Dwarf for one, an Elf the next, Halflings the others. We Men can see nothing at night."
"A good thought. Let us do so." Aragorn settled himself down. "I and Gimli will take first watch, if he does not object."
Gimli snorted. "No rest for the weary, eh?"
It came time for Legolas' watch with Boromir. A thin new moon rose, casting a little light on the River, enough to see by. The wind blew chill, and Legolas was reminded that outside the magic of Lórien, winter was still here. But thinking of Lórien, and Haldir, made him smile. So much had happened in so short a space of time there. Legolas had fallen in love, utterly and irrevocably. And his soul's mate Haldir loved him too. Legolas had never felt like this before, in all the many centuries he had lived. The elders spoke of it, the pair-bond, but he had never quite believed until now. When they were together, he and Haldir merged like two drops of water. Until he couldn't tell where he ended and where his lover began. It was a blessing in this dark time that there was such joy left in the world.
After a while, Boromir's voice broke the silence. "What are you thinking, Elf?"
"Of Lórien."
The Man grinned briefly, teeth shining white in the darkness. "Thought as much. You seemed very happy there. Must be sad to come away."
"It is." Legolas was a little surprised by Boromir's sympathy. The Man had been obviously nervous in Lórien, ill at ease for some strange reason.
Silence fell again for a few minutes.
Legolas decided to extend the conversation. "And it is sad to come away from - "
"From the captain of the guard, Haldir."
How did he know? "I was going to say, from my kindred there."
"Haldir in especial will miss you, though. Not surprising, considering what you got up to."
Legolas started to feel uncomfortable. "I don't know what you mean."
"Oh, I think you do." Boromir's voice sounded ragged. "I saw the two of you. Fucking. Or whatever Elves call it. Looked like you were having fun."
"Saw? You would dare - that was private!" Involuntarily his thoughts drifted back to those moments. To think that they had been spied on! It made him ill.
"My apologies. But it made me wonder, you see. The more fool me, I had thought that Elves had no desire. That they were like beautiful statues, moving for no-one. But that's not true, is it?" Boromir's hand reached out and encircled Legolas' arm, painfully tight. "And you're passing fair, almost like a woman in your countenance, your grace in walking. It's been a long road with no stops in friendly places where a man could ease himself. It builds up. You must see that. The way you've been looking at me." Boromir pressed himself against Legolas, breath hissing in his ear. "You must feel it too."
"Let go." "It happens more often than you'd think, in these desert places," Boromir whispered, almost to himself. "It's understandable, natural. No maidens around, a man gets urges. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up."
"*Daro!* I said, let go!" Legolas twisted away and ran a short distance from the Man, away from the sleeping Company. "I have no desire for you!" Boromir approached again. "There are so many hollows around here. So many intimate little hiding places. Not sunshine on a flet in Lórien, eh, but you could pretend." "Stop this. You are not yourself." Perhaps it was the influence of the Ring. He'd seen Boromir eyeing it whenever he had the chance. It corrupted people, changed them.
Boromir grabbed Legolas' arm again. "Don't say you haven't thought about it." Legolas was reminded that the strength of Men was great than that of Elves, their bodies heavier. If it came to a struggle...
Legolas drew his knife swiftly and held it to Boromir's throat. "I will ask you once more to release me. Do not make me hurt you." The Man was silent, but did not move away."I will not do it unless I have to." Legolas pressed the knife in a little further. "But if I have to, I will. *Stop this madness!*"
The shadow of evil passed, and Boromir released him, abrubtly. "I - I was only joking with you. There's no need to take it so seriously."
"If you try it again, *I will end you.* I will slay you in your sleep."
"All right, calm yourself. I won't try anything. Forget it ever happened."
Next night, Legolas announced, "I will watch with Gimli." No-one made any comment.
Legolas found that he was sleeping poorly. None of the Company noticed - how could they, when elven sleep was to them indistinguishable from elven waking? He stayed awake most nights now, watching surreptitiously while the others thought him resting. Perhaps Legolas could not sleep because he had been infected with paranoia, with fear because of what had almost happened. He did not speak with Boromir again, except for the necessities of survival. Legolas could not tell if Boromir regretted trying to force himself on him. The Man never tried again.
When Boromir died in battle, Legolas was filled with almost as much sadness as Aragorn. Together, they composed a lament and floated his body down the stream, sword clutched to its chest in dignity. Legolas preferred to think of that night as a troubled dream, not reality. It was not how he would choose to remember his companion.
But when Legolas first met with Haldir again, before the battle of Helm's Deep, at first he could only cling to him. "What's wrong?" asked his lover, gently.
Legolas shook his head. "Nothing. Now that you are here." Preparations for the battle were underway, and the Elves from Lórien talked quietly among themselves as they fletched new arrows. Haldir drew Legolas away from the party and they walked a way along the walls together.
"I know what you mean. I feel it too. It was so hard to be apart, after our brief time together."
"... yes."
Haldir looked worried. "I have to attend to the battle preparations, but I must see you again before it begins. Something is troubling you. We will talk."
"Théoden has given me a private chamber."
Haldir nodded, then turned back to his troops.
Before the knock at the door came, Legolas sensed Haldir's presence. It was true, he had missed his soul's mate - so badly it felt like a physical hunger. But now he was here, Legolas felt strangely ill at ease. His lover stepped in silently and sat beside him on the sleeping couch, the only piece of furniture in that room.
"So, what is wrong?" asked Haldir, taking Legolas' hand between his own.
"It is nothing, truly. I'm only weary. You have more important things to worry about on the eve of a battle."
"Nothing is more important than you, dear one."
"Then just be with me. That is enough."
"Of course." Haldir smiled, looking at their surroundings. "It isn't sunshine on a talan in Lórien, but we can pretend." Haldir embraced him and began to unbind his hair, but a sudden wave of revulsion swept over Legolas, and he pushed himself away from his lover. For a moment, he didn't understand what it was, then he realised - Haldir used the exact same words that Boromir had, that evil night.
"What are you doing? Stay!" Haldir murmured, kissing his way down Legolas' neck. "It's been so long. Don't you want this too?" He grasped Legolas' upper arms firmly to keep him anchored in place. Legolas twisted away, upset beyond any rational measure.
"Don't touch me!" he panted, retreating to the far corner of the room. "You're just like him!" Immeadiately as Legolas said it he regretted it; Haldir was nothing like Boromir.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't - it - " Legolas felt panicked, like a cornered animal. This was supposed to be their special reunion. But - "He's ruined everything!" Legolas felt like drawing a knife and slashing wildly, somehow destroying this - thing.
"Please come back to bed. I won't touch you if you don't want me to. Don't you know that?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Tell me what happened. Is 'he' another Elf?" The implication was clear. He thought Legolas was guilty because his love had turned towards someone else.
"I would never be with anyone else! You're my only."
"Then who is it? What happened?"
"... He was a Man. His name was Boromir." It was a painful relief to let the story spill out of him. By the end, he was in Haldir's arms, crying very quietly.
"Where is he? This Boromir, he came with you to Helm's Deep?" Haldir looked more angry than Legolas had ever seen him. "I'll kill him. I'll kill him for hurting you."
"Haldir, you can't."
"He brought this on himself. Elbereth Gilthoniel, if he had succeeded - ! Death is not punishment enough!"
"No, I didn't explain enough to you. He's already dead." Haldir looked marginally happier. "Did you kill him, then? It was your right."
"No. He died in battle. Honourably." Legolas felt strange at the thought of Haldir killing someone for him. "Even if he was still alive, I'm not sure if I could bear it. It would be beneath you."
"You think too highly of me. I've killed in my time."
"But he wasn't evil. Just corrupted. And ..." Legolas couldn't help spilling out the last of his suppurating thoughts, "I think it was my fault."
"How could it have been your fault!"
"I must have encouraged him. Boromir said when I looked at him he thought it was obvious. I must have been - leading him on."
"Don't say that. It isn't true." Haldir was looking fierce again.
"I didn't mean to! But he kept looking at me, and I didn't know why. I should have stopped singing, or something. Stopped drawing attention to myself."
"No! Never!"
"He said I looked like a Human woman. He would have - he was so strong - " "Don't cry, Legolas, beloved. Please stop crying."
That night they simply held each other, without words, without coupling. In the safety of Haldir's arms, Legolas fell into sleep at last.