The war was over. She could finally take a full breath. Something she hadn't felt able to do since she first learned about Voldemort's return so many years ago. Her entire school experience had been tinged with blood and death, with shadows around every corner. She had learned, she had adapted. She had made sacrifices, even when that sacrifice was her own happiness.
"Ronald Bilius Weasley, what the hell do you think you are doing?" Hermione was so angry she almost leapt over the coffee table and slapped that lazy grin off his face. "Do you have any idea how long I have been in here? Cleaning!" She settled with shoving his muddy boots off the now dirty table.
"Oh that's nothing, 'Mione. Just a little smudge." He moved his feet to the rug in front of the couch that she had hand washed four times to get the years of dirt out.
"I'm done!" She threw down her cleaning rag, turned on her heals and was out the door before you could say Beauxbatons. When she reached the cornfield, she just started running. The harsh corn husks scraped her arms, raw already from the cleaning products she had used for hours, days. The pain was sharp, but she welcomed it compared to the absence of pain in her heart.
Hermione had agreed to spend some of the summer at the Burrow after finding her parents and returning their memories. She loved the Weasleys like an extended family, and Merlin knows they deserved a world of happiness and normalcy, but this was ridiculous! From the moment she arrived, Molly had her cleaning around the Burrow and Arthur was constantly at her elbow asking every question he could think of about the muggle world. Ginny and George we living at home still, as was Ron, and all treated her normally, but Molly acted as if she was a housekeeper in training. And while Hermione was all for pure physical ingenuity, Molly took it to a new level with magic-free cleaning.
This entire visit had seemed all about Hermione becoming the next Mrs. Weasley, in every way. And Ron had become infuriatingly passive about the effort she was putting into making him happy. They had been dating since the day of that last battle, but it wasn't what she had always hoped for.
She finally broke through the corn field and into a small clearing around a weeping willow. She stumbled and landed with her hands in the dirt. When she looked down all she could do was cry. She hadn't cried since the war was over. It was finally over, a time for smiles and laughter. Right? Then why did she feel so broken inside?
She cried for the lives lost: Fred, Tonks, Lupin, even Lavender. She cried for the trials of the students last year. She cried for what she had had to do to her parents to keep them safe. Then it hit her…
She cried for herself. She cried for her tainted childhood. For the years of pain and suffering she had to endure by simply befriending an unlucky raven haired boy when they were eleven. She cried for the actions that she had been forced into, results from her life as one of the Golden Trio. And now she had no plan. No decisions. No trials. No problems to solve. Nothing.
Hermione Granger could be a normal girl. And she was lost!
Ron finally caught up to her, breathing heavily. "Bloody hell, 'Mione? What was that all about?" He looked around the clearing as if they were just talking about the weather.
"I'm done," she whispered.
"What?"
"I SAID I'M DONE, RONALD! I can't do this anymore! I can't be your mother. I can't be what you want. I can't be your housewife. That's not me!" She was surprised to see that she had stopped crying.
"I didn't ask you to do anything or be anything." Ron finally sounded like he was taking her seriously. She stood up, brushing off the dirt from her knees, and turned towards him. He had that confused look that had endeared her to him years ago.
"I know. But it's what you want. It's what I can't give you. We've been arguing left and right and never seem to work. You know it!" He had motioned as if to stop her. "I think we should end this now before we start hating each other. I don't want that and I know you don't either."
Ron was quiet, for an uncomfortable long time. Just when Hermione thought he would blow up like he always did, he looked her in the eyes with the most calm expression she had ever seen. "I don't want to lose you, 'Mione. Even that means I have to let you go to keep you."
She walked over to him and hugged him. Not as a girlfriend, but as a friend.
That night Hermione packed her bags and left the Burrow. She disapparated to Grimauld Place, where Harry was living now. After a long conversation, he welcomed her to stay with him for the summer.
She took this opportunity to learn who she wanted to be. A letter had come for both her and Harry at the end of June inviting them to return to Hogwarts to finish their schooling, while extending the offer for them to simply take the exams and skip the year. They both agreed that a year of schooling would be a great use of their time.
They arrived at the train station with plenty of time to spare. Harry found that living with Hermione would do that to a person. When they got settled into a cabin, there was a knock on the door. Ron sheepishly opened it and locked eyes with Hermione. They hadn't spoken since she left, but she had thought long and hard about how to deal with him.
She simply patted the seat next to her and smiled. His returned smile said more than she knew he ever would. The three of them laughed like old times that they had never had. For once there was nothing hanging over their heads, yet there were some long silences when they would mention a lost loved one. Hermione saw the shadows in their eyes and felt that such moments were best handled from the bottom of a fire whisky.
After a half an hour of travel, another knock was heard. Neville came through the door.
Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing. She had noticed he had grown over the last year, but this summer had finished the job. What little baby fat had been left on him during the final battle was gone. He even had a becoming amount of stubble on his face. She even thought she could see a slight tan. His hands on the edges on the door hinted towards a man who was used to getting his hands dirty, but with surprising dexterity that is required of a gardener.
But it was his eyes that surprised her the most. She had always seen what everyone usually saw when they looked at Neville: slow, watery, eager to please and fearful of failure. These were eyes of someone who knew who they were and what they wanted. She envied him that.
Ron nudged her. "What?"
Ron looked at Neville, who cleared his throat."I asked if I can talk to you about something."
Hermione couldn't understand why, but her heart started to flutter. The boys looked clueless, but when she passed them to leave the cabin, they shared a knowing smile.
Neville lead her to an empty cabin in the front of the train. All the students wanted to stay far away from the adults that tended to occupy these ones, so they were quite alone.
"Is something wrong, Neville? We haven't even started classes." She smiled, trying to play off the feeling of anticipation she had.
He sat across from her, leaning forward on his knees. "I've been thinking a lot this summer, Hermione. I know we haven't always been the closest, but I would like to think you and I have a lot in common." At this point he took her hands in his. She wasn't expecting this much boldness from Neville. "I know I'm not the smartest in our year. I know I'm not the strongest. But I know I can be there for you, and I know we can be great together."
She sat there stunned. After her break-up with Ron, she had not given much thought to the relationship aspects of life. A friend she made in a bookstore had turned her on to reading romance novels, but that had been the furthest she had gotten to moving on. She had never thought of Neville in a romantic sense, but something deep within her urged her towards him, towards what he was offering.
"Yes."