Stop Reading, Stupid Girl

by Hvalross05

She can't help but to be a little bit... jealous. But how will he react when her emotions get the better of her? Judar x Kenmei (OC). One-shot, snippit of their relationship.

Stop reading, you stupid girl.

That was the greeting that Kenmei was used to hearing almost every time Judar came her way. It was a simple, rude sentence that was always more often that not met with an equally rude action, tearing her away from her book and causing all of her attention to be drawn to him. And yet, Kenmei didn't ever mind it the interruptions. Getting to spend even just a moment of the day with Judar filled her with more joy than her books did, and she was always more than happy to put them down and join him.

This day was no different. Kenmei sat in a far away corner in the palace food hall, away form any other people that may have been in there as well. There was a certain table with a built in bench that was always pressed up against the wall, and it was the perfect spot for Kenmei to sit, leaned up against the wall with a bowl of carrots next to her and a book in hand. She often loved to read in places outside of her own room or the library, as loud noises and talking didn't distract her in the slightest. She did think she heard some familiar voices and words from close by, but she paid no mind to them.

As she read, sitting sideways on the bench with her legs propped up and book laying open on her thighs, she would occasionally reach over and take a treat from the bowl. She had gotten cut up raw carrots, so the pieces she grabbed and plopped into her mouth did not distract her from the beautiful pages in her book.

They were exceptionally captivating to her this time around. The book was about water magic, and though she was quite skilled in the practice already, she found the different spells to be so interesting and their power unbelievable. Some were too advanced for her to learn, as she did not posses enough magoi to accurately preform the spells, but she still loved to learn and memorize the directions on how to do them, just in case.

As she turned the page to read on about the next spell in the book, she craved another carrot piece, so she reached her hand over to the spot where the bowl was at, but her fingers met with fabric instead. Confused, but still not pulled away from the words, she searched for the bowl around the area a bit. The table seemed a lot higher to her than it had before, but she paid no mind to it as her search came up empty handed.

Now thoroughly distracted and annoyed, she lifted her eyes away from the book and turned her head to find her missing bowl of treats. Instead, though, she was met with the irritated, glaring eyes of Judar, who was sitting extremely close to her and the edge of the table, his legs neatly crossed and the bowl of carrots sitting on his left knee.

Kenmei gave a surprised jump, but kept herself from making any type of noise to attract attention from anyone else in the room. She slammed her book closed and returned the glare that the boy was giving her. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Judar scoffed. "How long do you think I've been sitting here? You become blind and deaf when you have one of those stupid things in your hands." He leaned back on his arms, causing the wooden table to creak under his weight. Kenmei shook her head and took her bowl of carrots off of his knee. "Sorry, you should have said something."

"I did say something!" He lifted his knee as she took the bowl and bumped it, causing a few of the pieces to fall out and onto the table and his lap, though Kenmei was able to save the majority of them with her reflexes.

"Hey! These are good carrots, don't do that. Now they're no good." She took the bowl away from his reach the best she could, protecting it as if it was a child. Judar scoffed at her words and picked the piece up off of his lap. "How can you eat this tasteless crap?"

He flicked the piece at Kenmei and hit her in the side of the head, causing her to jump once again at the sudden impact. "They're not tasteless! You're just spoiled." She grabbed a piece out of her bowl and munched on it angrily, causing Judar to give a disgusted grunt as he moved to get off of the table. "Yuck."

Kenmei rolled her eyes as she ate another, starting to scoot out of her corner, book and bowl in hand. "Did you want something or did you just want to bug me?" She stood, balancing the bowl on her book as she fixed her pants with her free hand.

Judar seemed to give a light bounce as he turned on his heels quickly to face her once again. "Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot." Kenmei gave a small smile, finding it a little cute how forgetful he was sometimes. "What is it?"

"I have something I want you to do for me." He said with a slight grin, obviously knowing that she would do pretty much anything he asked. Kenmei raised an eyebrow at him, but gave a small nod. "Okay. What is it?"

"I can't explain it here, just come on." He turned once again and started to head for the exit of the food hall. Kenmei quickly followed along with him, taking her book and snacks with her, not about to leave both of them behind. "Can you explain it a little bit?"

Judar looked down at her as he walked, not really paying attention to where he was going. "It's not a big deal or anything, I just want you to read these things for me and then tell me what they're about later."

Kenmei gave him a confused look. "You actually want me to read something? That's a first."

Judar gave her a glare. "Hey, you should be excited. It's stuff you've always been interested in. Besides, you've probably already read some of them so it wont be that big of a deal." He reached out to open the door, but was caught off balance when the door was opened by someone else. The two collided, though Judar was easily able to keep his balance and he took a few steps back into Kenmei, though he stopped when he felt her there.

Kenmei gave a gasp as she saw him hit someone, though wasn't able to see who it was from around him yet as she placed her hand on his back gently. "What happen-" She was suddenly interrupted by the word 'princess' being shouted quite frantically and Judar giving an irritated growl.

"You need to watch where you're going!" He suddenly yelled out, pointing in front of him. Kenmei poked her head around the side to see who he was yelling at and gave a small gasp as she saw Princess Kougyoku being steadied by her assistant Ka Koubun. The princess looked quite flustered as she angrily adjusted her head dress, glaring right back at the magi in front of her as she spoke. "Excuse me! You're the one who ran into me, Judar!"

Kenmei went back to hiding behind Judar a bit, a little embarrassed. She had never seen the princess around this area, and had hardly seen her in general, so this sudden interaction between the two made her feel a bit out of place. She had seen them walking and speaking to each other before, and Kenmei knew Judar was friendly with her as well. The magician glanced up as Judar started to walk, starting to leave the room.

"You old hag, must be losing your eye sight in your age." The boy flicked Kougyoku's headdress as he passed her, messing it up once again and causing the young princess to give an irritated huff, face turning red with anger and embarrassment. "I'm not old!" Koubun huffed as he watched the magi walk away. "You should apologize, priest!"

Judar only turned and childishly stuck his tongue out at them both as a response before he continued forward, not bothering to wait for the young magician he had left behind. Kenmei waited as the two others came into the room, the princess once again adjusting her hair, movements very snappy and angry. She only stopped when she noticed Kenmei standing there in their way, looking to her with a confused glance.

Kenmei's face turned pink with embarrassment at her awkwardness around the princess and gave a small bow before she quickly walked around them and out of the door to follow after Judar, who had finally stopped and turned to wait for her. Kenmei had never felt that out of place in a long time. She had before when she first met Judar, who was very intimidating to her, both in power and social status, but that feeling no longer came upon her when she was with him.

As she walked, she could hear the princess speak to her assistant. "Who was that? Was she following him?" The hushed, confused words pulled at Kenmei's heart a bit, knowing that Judar probably never spoke about her to anyone else. She knew he had good reason to, but she couldn't think of what it was. In fact, she couldn't think of a lot of good reasons for the things that he did or said.

Kenmei looked up at him as she reached him, face still pink. Judar raised an eyebrow at the look on her face. "What are you all embarrassed about?"

The girl shook her head. "I'm not embarrassed." She fiddled with a carrot piece in her bowl as she looked down and away from him. Judar only turned and continued to walk, though the way he moved was a bit stiff and agitated. Kenmei could tell that he was no longer relaxed and that upset her a bit. She had been hoping he would stay relaxed and a bit cheery that day so they could relax together without him being angry.

She looked up from the ground to watch him walk, her eyes catching on the toned form of his back and the way his muscles flexed with each step he took. She had always thought that he was beautiful, down to the last annoying hair on his head. She had never told him about that, but she had a feeling he knew with the way he used his looks against her sometimes, in order to embarrass her. Though, with these thoughts, she wondered what he thought about her.

Any attempts to embarrass or irritate him using her looks or body were always ineffective. He always seemed to easily be able to ignore her or just turn it around to his advantage instead. He never once commented on her body, be it good or bad comments, and only focused his insults on her mind and intelligence.

'Stupid' was his favorite word to use to describe her if he felt the need to insult or tease. He never complimented or praised her true knowledge, or even seemed to notice how much she truly knew about magic. It was obvious in the way he always fell asleep while she was talking to him about something interesting that he didn't care how much she knew or how smart she truly was.

Along with his obviously enjoyment of insulting her knowledge, Judar also teased her relentlessly about her power and skill. Kenmei knew she was weak and powerless against someone like him, but since meeting him, she had improved more than she would have ever thought she could. Not only had her skill in using magic increased, but her physical strength had almost doubled from what it had been. She was weak and out of shape when he met her, and now she was able to keep up with him when it came to physical exercise. Still, Judar would always call her weak and powerless.

So what was it that Judar found interesting about her enough to continue to even bother to interact with her? He belittled everything she did or said, so what could be keeping him around? If she wasn't stupid, she was boring. If she wasn't weak, she was annoying. It was always something, one thing or another, and Kenmei was starting to feel very confused.

Did he like her or not?

Kenmei looked up as she lightly ran into the back of him, not noticing that he had stopped. He only glanced down over his shoulder at her before he slid open a door. The girl took a few steps back and looked around, a bit surprised. They were at the entrance to his quarters, which was a very long way from the food hall. Two soldiers stood on either side of the door, still and silent, guarding the entrance for who knows what reason.

She hadn't noticed that they had walked that far, and it had been in complete silence. She had been so deep into her thoughts and had neglected to pay attention. But now, she spoke up. "Why are we here?"

"The things are in here." Judar started to walk inside, leaving the door open behind him as he went. Kenmei went inside, but the instant she was in, she heard the door slide shut behind her, more than likely shut by the guards. Judar wasn't fazed by it and continued into the room, heading to an area that held a table and a few long couches.

Kenmei followed him further inside, looking around. The room was brightly lit by the open windows and was spotless. She knew that Judar was never in here, but the maids continued to keep it spotless and perfect. There was not a speck of dust to be found and nothing was out of place. It was such a huge contrast to Kenmei's room, both in cleanliness and decoration. Everything about the room was lavish and gorgeous, making the girl feel very jealous every time she stepped foot into the room.

She kept her eyes from wondering as she followed Judar to where he had gone. He stood by a table that held a pile of books and scrolls, all very old or even important looking from the print on the covers and paper. Kenmei placed her old book down before she carefully picked up a large book that rested on top of the pile. "Why is all of this here?"

Judar sighed, obviously annoyed with the unsightly pile of useless paper. "I have been told to read this stuff and I really don't want to. So you should read it for me and just tell me what it says. You can finish a book in a day right?"

Kenmei nodded. "On my days off I can." Judar nodded. "I'll be sure you have a while off to do this stuff. Just consider it a special project or something." Kenmei frowned, looking up at him. "But my patients-"

"-They'll be fine, we have other healing magicians." Judar interrupted her as he flopped down on the obviously very soft and overly cushioned couch, laying down on his back.

Kenmei sighed. "I know there's others, but they're the one's I've been caring for."

Judar looked up at her, obviously a bit irritated at her fighting his request. "You're always complaining about never having time to read, and here I am offering you a chance to read about things you've been interested in without having to work. I'll leave you alone, even, to give you time. I just have to know what's in it all, and you can memorize everything, it seems."

Kenmei held the book a bit closer, silent for a moment before she nodded. "Okay, if it will help you. I think you're just being lazy, though."

Judar huffed, giving her a glare. "I don't have time to read all that crap and I don't feel like reading it, either. It's probably all stuff I already know, anyway." He sat up, keeping his legs on the couch and just resting his arm on one of his knees. "You can just tell me about them when you're done."

He started to stand, giving a stretch and a yawn. "Anyway, you can take them and go or read here, I'm gonna nap."

Kenmei looked up at him once again, starting to feel her confused feelings raising up in her mind. She wanted to speak to him about it, to tell him how confused she was and ask him how he felt about her, but she knew he wouldn't have anything to say. "Okay, Judar."

Judar was about to walk away, but stopped and turned back to her with a inquisitive look. "What are you freaked out about?"

Kenmei blinked, becoming a bit confused. "What?"

"I can tell you're all mopy about something. Your energy always gives you away." He turned back towards her, crossing his arms.

The girl shook her head. "N-nothing is wrong, really. It's-"

"Oh shut up." The boy interrupted her again. "You're so annoying when all you do is deny crap." He poked the book, pushing it and making her rock on her feet a bit. "Speak up or leave, I can't sleep with this annoying energy you're giving off."

Kenmei's face turned red with frustration and embarrassment as she held the book closer. "You're just going to get mad."

"It's either I might get mad or will get mad at the way you're acting." He rested his hands on his hips as he waited for an answer.

Kenmei put the book she was holding down back on top of the stack, becoming more and more nervous by the second. How was she going to tell him that she thought he didn't like her? Would he understood how she felt or just laugh at her like he did with everything else? Each new questions brought up nothing but butterflies in her stomach and tears to her eyes. But still, she spoke up.

"Fine... I'm just confused." She kept her eyes on the floor as she spoke, nervously crossing her arms.

Judar blinked. "About?"

"How you actually feel about me." She spoke softly, lightly nudging the floor with her foot. "I'm just having trouble understanding it."

The boy in front of her tilted his head to the side a bit. "What do you mean 'how I feel about you'? That's a stupid question."

Kenmei shook her head. "No it's not. I mean, do you actually like me or not? Or are you still just using me?" She uncrossed her arms and motioned towards the books a bit, eyes still down. "I know you used to use me just for something to shoot ice at and laugh at, because that's all we ever did was train. It's different now, and has been for a while, we do other things besides that. But sometimes I can't help but feel like you don't really like me."

Her voice seemed to quiver the more she spoke and she could feel her eyes starting to tear up some. She knew this was pointless, he wasn't going to admit or tell her anything comforting, he never did. All she was going to do was make herself look like a complete fool in front of him.

She could feel her stomach clinch the longer he stayed silent. She knew she must have said something wrong, must have ruined everything.

"You really are stupid."

Kenmei blinked and looked up at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Judar rolled his eyes. "Honestly, if I didn't like you would I seriously waste my time on you? No. I'd never even notice you exist. You'd know if I didn't like you."

"Then why do you say such mean things to me all the time, or you don't ever seem to care about what I have to say." Kenmei pulled at her hair a bit, becoming more nervous with his answers.

"I like you tease you, it's not like I'm serious. Where the hell is all of this coming from, anyway? You've never had a problem before. I mean, you're getting upset over me asking you to read, which is something I thought you'd flip over. There are tons of servants I could have had do it instead."

Kenmei shook her head. "No, no that's not it! I mean, I'd be happy to read these for you, that's not why I'm upset. I just... started to be confused on why you'd bother paying attention to me, when you have other people to talk to that.. I guess are more your level."

"More my level? That doesn't make any sense."

"I mean in power and social status. I'm not sure how often you talk to the royals, but it must be a lot with how friendly you are with the princess. I just don't see why you bother with me if you can talk to them all the time."

Judar blinked a few times at her mention of the princess and grinned, leaning down more to her level. "I know what's wrong."

Kenmei frowned at his response, confused. "What?"

"You're jealous!"

Kenmei's face turned dark red and she shook her head, bringing her hands up almost in a defensive gesture while taking a step froward to seem more assertive. "No, no I'm not jealous!"

Her words were ignored as Judar began to laugh, covering his mouth with one of his hands. "I knew it! I knew it from how quiet you were on the way here! I didn't know you were so sensitive." He teased, poking her forehead lightly.

Kenmei's eyes were threatening to begin leaking tears at any second. She was so embarrassed and full of mixed emotions, and his teasing wasn't helping in the slightest. "I already said I'm not jealous of her! I told you what was wrong, stop assuming things." She grabbed his hand to make him stop poking at her. She felt a bit comforted, though, when he allowed her to hold onto it.

Judar's snickering slowed to a stop and he sighed, shaking his head. "You're stupid. There's nothing to be upset over or jealous about. If I didn't like you, you would know. If I wanted to use you, you'd be able to tell the difference. Now shut up."

Kenmei sighed, hanging her head a bit. She still didn't have a reason for him to bother with her, but she decided not to push it anymore for now. She would get more out of him later. "Okay.."

He took his hand from her and ruffled the hair on the top of her head a bit, messing it up. "Now relax and read one of my books. I'm going to take a nap."

Kenmei gave him a look as the hair fell into her face, though she gave a small nod. "Alright.." She watched him walk over towards his bed and plop down as she fixed her hair back into place. Still confused, but trying to look past her feelings, she picked up the first book and sat down onto the couch, opening it up. The couch was extremely soft and she almost sank into the cushions. She wiggled herself into a comfortable position, finding it hard to get comfortable on it with the cushions so plush and the back of the couch so low that right below her shoulders and up were visible from behind the couch.

She looked back over at the bed to see Judar already knocked out cold, sprawled lazily over the huge bed. She clutched the book a bit tighter in her hands, feeling her stomach clinch once again with her uneasy feelings. He might have said that she was being stupid for feeling the way she was, but the fact that he could just fall asleep while she was still so upset confused Kenmei.

She still felt like he didn't care.

Her emotions then got the best of her and a few tears finally released from her eyes. Though they were followed by many more and she seemed unable to stop herself. How could she let all of this get to her? Why did she? What was the point of all this sadness and anger? She had his attention and affection, so why did she continue to feel so down about it all.

Kenmei knew how he was and she knew what she was getting into when she started to fall for him. It was stupid of her now be so upset that he could seem to care less about if she was sad or not. She was being weak, letting her emotions get the better of her like this. But she had grown to love the boy, more than she ever should have let herself.

Her silent sobbing continued for a few minutes until she saw a cloth fall into her lap from above. She gave a small jump at its sudden appearance and looked up, seeing Judar standing in front of her with a tired, irritated expression. "Wipe your face, your make up is running."

Kenmei quickly lowered her head and grabbed the cloth, wiping the area under her eyes as her hiccups continued. "Sorry for waking you up.."

Judar grunted and turned, walking away back towards the direction of the bed. Kenmei kept her head down and sighed, lowering the cloth from her face. She hadn't wanted him to see her like that, and the look on his face only confirmed that he thought she was being weak. "I'll go a head and leave so you ca-"

She was interrupted as arms came around and fell to rest around her shoulders. What shocked her more, though, was when she felt his face gently nuzzle into the nape of her neck. He had to be sleep walking or something. This was so odd and out of the blue that Kenmei thought she must have fallen asleep in her spot and was dreaming.

Kenmei reached up and put her hand on his arm lightly, but that only caused him to tighten his grip on her lightly and give a grunt.

"Your crying is annoying." He spoke with a tired slur, his words muffled as he kept his face hidden.

Kenmei gave a small smile. "I said I would leave if you wanted me to."

She could feel him open his eyes. "No, I need to keep an eye on you to make sure you're doing your job." He glanced down at the book before he reached down and tapped it lightly. "It's been ten minutes and you're not done yet."

"I can't read that fast. I actually haven't started yet.." Kenmei rubbed his upper arm gently, looking at the spot that his finger had landed on.

He huffed and started to stand up straight. "Of course. Too busy crying." He hopped over the back of the couch, landing next to her. He turned and scooted to the end of the couch, leaning back against the arm as he gave a large yawn. He was leaning back against the arm of the couch, which was just as high as the back of it, with his legs resting on the couch, facing her, now. "Damn it I was sleeping good."

Kenmei wiped her face off again, not sure if she had gotten all the tears or make up off yet. "I'm sorry. Go back to sleep, I'll stop cr-" She gave a yelp as he reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her to him and making her sit between his legs with her back to him. She gave him a light glare over her shoulder at the sudden action. "Could have just asked."

Judar scoffed and put his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. "You would have taken too long, I want to go back to sleep."

Kenmei turned her head back forward, opening up the book again. "Is it okay if I ask you one more thing, though?"

"Depends." He closed his eyes, already starting to drift off.

"Can you at least tell me why you bother with me?"

Judar was silent for a moment before he shook his head lightly. "Nah, I think I'll let you figure it out for yourself. More fun that way."

Kenmei turned her head towards his and frowned. "Come on! Just something, please?"

He replied with a sly smile before he hid his face in her neck again. "Shut up and read, stupid girl."

Kenmei sighed and looked back down at the book in her hand. He was such a mystery to her and she had a feeling that she would never understand why he acted the way he did. Even now, the fact that he had become so clingy confused her, but she was happy for the affection. She wanted to ask him more questions, force him to explain himself if she could. But, she could already feel his breathing slow and his grip loosen lightly.

Getting her answers would have to wait for another day.