A/N: So I was sitting here, listening to my music, when I realized that I had the same song on repeat over and over again, and how much I love it. It makes me sad, but it makes me happy at the same time. There's something about how a single song can reach into your soul and show you how you feel, with or without words. So here is a songfic I made because I was feeling lonely.
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this except for my OC's point of view.
I open my lungs dear
I sing this song at funerals, no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
I screamed as he fell to the floor, his chair almost falling over as well. "L!" I was crying silently, and watched as my best friend died. I didn't want to believe it when they said he was dead. He couldn't be gone! He was the best detective in the world! That Shinigami had killed him, no doubt about it.
Baby boy you've held so tightly,
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds,
I feel your touch.
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I would just lie in bed, crying, vowing that Kira would pay. He took away one of the only people in my life that I cared about. I would sit back and remember sitting close to him, our hands accidentally brushing the others as we took turns typing into the computer, trying to follow a lead on Kira.
I will wait dear
A patience of eternity, my crush.
A universal still, no rust.
I had always had… feelings for Ryuzaki. At first, I was cautious of him, but as we worked to find Kira together, I started to trust him. And I eventually found that I loved him. The world stopped when he was gone. I didn't want to go on without him. No, I couldn't go on without him.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.
The little sleep I could get always ended in the same way: I would scream his name, and someone from the taskforce would run in, expecting an intruder. I made them stay awake with me with me until I fell asleep again, which I almost never did, so after a few months, they gave me sleeping pills. They never worked.
We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I loved you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head
But I promised you that I will see you again, again.
I imagined going away with him, going on an airplane to a faraway place and never having to deal with Kira ever again. I always remember how I wanted to tell him how I felt, that I was in love. I wanted him to love me back. I wanted to see him alive one last time.
I sit here and smile dear.
I smile because I think of you, I blush.
These bleeding hollow dials, this fuss.
His quirks would make me laugh: the way he ate his sweets, the way he spun around in his chair sometimes. I remember when I was accidentally locked in a closet with him for 5 hours. I was blushing and stammering at first, but managed to control it enough to have a civilized conversation with him and not give away my feelings for him. But I was sure he suspected anyway.
The fuss is made of miles and travel,
The roadways are but stones and gravel.
A bleeding heart can conquer every crutch.
I would go wherever he was. I wanted to search all ends of the earth to find him, because I knew that he couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible. He wasn't dead. The world's greatest detective wouldn't just sit and not prevent his death. Unless it was his plan to die. I sobbed harder. How could he leave me?
We booked our flight those years ago
You said you loved me as you left me.
Regrets still haunt your saddened head,
But I promised you I will see you,
"He's gone now. There's nothing you can do to bring him back," Light told me. I just shook my head. I lived in my own fantasy now. L was just visiting a faraway place, but he would come back. He had to. He promised me that he would, after he told me that he loved me. So why wasn't he coming back?
We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regrets no longer in my head,
But I promised you and now I'm home again
Again
Again
Again
Again
Again
I gripped the bottle of sleeping pills in my hand. I wasn't sure if this was right. Would I ever see him again? There was one thing that I wasn't going to do, though. I wasn't going to wait for him. I took a deep breath, took out seven pills, popped the small capsules in my mouth, and took a long swig of water.
I'm home again
The Mortician's Daughter by Black Veil Brides
A mortician is a funeral director.