A rather old, semi-OOC fic, by now I'm a bit embarressed by it. I don't own Slayers, although once I did want to.
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He turns in his sleep, one of the rare times I see him asleep. I wonder what he dreams of . . . does he dream about the rest of us? Gourry, Xeros, Amelia, . . . me? Occaisionally, I've been able to tell a bit of what he's dreaming . . . a muttered word, an expression upon his face.
He's so distant during the day, rarely smiling, with an even more rare laugh . . . so easily embarressed. So many times I want to hold him, kiss him, and yet I know doing these things will drive him farther from me. When all I want is to be closer . . . It hurts so much, to be this far, yet walking side by side. This close, yet unable to touch him.
In my dreams, he's with me, sharing the wonder I find in the world, letting me hold him. Loving me as much as I love him. Sometimes I dream of children with my hair and his eyes. I pray each night, that somehow, some way, I can make these dreams come true. And each night, I feel like crying, nothing's changed. I feel so alone . . .
It's strange, how those little things that used to annoy me, the way he slurps his coffee when he especially enjoys the blend, his habit of sharpening his sword before going to bed, his surliness in the morning, his refusal to let me have any of that vodka he's got stashed in his cape (I've nipped some every now and then), the faint scrape of his thumb over his knuckles when he's thinking . . . they no longer annoy me. They are a part of him, part of who he is.
"Lina? It's my turn to take watch." I jump, startled. I hope Gourry didn't notice, as I quickly slap my normal devil-may care attitude in place.
"Sure Gourry, just don't fall asleep, ok?"
"Sure, Lina." Gourry looks out into the night, dopey happy-go-lucky smile on his face.
I settle down, wrapping my cape around me as I settle into a position where I can still watch . . . such a beautiful, wonderful man. He smiles in his sleep . . . he looks so happy. Is he dreaming of before his change? Is it good memories of the travels we've all done together? Is he dreaming of tormenting Xeros? Finally getting that fruitcake out of his life? Finally getting Amelia out of his life?
Maybe he doesn't really want anything to do with me . .. . No, that can't be true! Otherwise, why would he have stayed with us so long . . . wouldn't he?
. . . wouldn't he? Oh Ceipheed, will I ever have a chance to tell him how I feel?
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Xeros sighed, taking in the emotions drifting in the wind. Poor Lina-chan. He knew that if Lina remained this unhappy, her great-grandmother would notice. And she would demand that something be done.
Xeros decided that his own wishes would best be set aside, to work on the problem now lying before him. However he may wish otherwise, he was well aware Lina would never love him anywhere near as much as she loved Stone Boy. He glared at Stone Boy, noticing the happy look on the chimera's face. Wait a minute, he was saying something . . .
"Lina . . . beloved . . . "
Xeros grinned, leaning back. Maybe this wouldn't be as difficult as he previously thought. And loads of fun to watch!
##@##
He turns in his sleep, one of the rare times I see him asleep. I wonder what he dreams of . . . does he dream about the rest of us? Gourry, Xeros, Amelia, . . . me? Occaisionally, I've been able to tell a bit of what he's dreaming . . . a muttered word, an expression upon his face.
He's so distant during the day, rarely smiling, with an even more rare laugh . . . so easily embarressed. So many times I want to hold him, kiss him, and yet I know doing these things will drive him farther from me. When all I want is to be closer . . . It hurts so much, to be this far, yet walking side by side. This close, yet unable to touch him.
In my dreams, he's with me, sharing the wonder I find in the world, letting me hold him. Loving me as much as I love him. Sometimes I dream of children with my hair and his eyes. I pray each night, that somehow, some way, I can make these dreams come true. And each night, I feel like crying, nothing's changed. I feel so alone . . .
It's strange, how those little things that used to annoy me, the way he slurps his coffee when he especially enjoys the blend, his habit of sharpening his sword before going to bed, his surliness in the morning, his refusal to let me have any of that vodka he's got stashed in his cape (I've nipped some every now and then), the faint scrape of his thumb over his knuckles when he's thinking . . . they no longer annoy me. They are a part of him, part of who he is.
"Lina? It's my turn to take watch." I jump, startled. I hope Gourry didn't notice, as I quickly slap my normal devil-may care attitude in place.
"Sure Gourry, just don't fall asleep, ok?"
"Sure, Lina." Gourry looks out into the night, dopey happy-go-lucky smile on his face.
I settle down, wrapping my cape around me as I settle into a position where I can still watch . . . such a beautiful, wonderful man. He smiles in his sleep . . . he looks so happy. Is he dreaming of before his change? Is it good memories of the travels we've all done together? Is he dreaming of tormenting Xeros? Finally getting that fruitcake out of his life? Finally getting Amelia out of his life?
Maybe he doesn't really want anything to do with me . .. . No, that can't be true! Otherwise, why would he have stayed with us so long . . . wouldn't he?
. . . wouldn't he? Oh Ceipheed, will I ever have a chance to tell him how I feel?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xeros sighed, taking in the emotions drifting in the wind. Poor Lina-chan. He knew that if Lina remained this unhappy, her great-grandmother would notice. And she would demand that something be done.
Xeros decided that his own wishes would best be set aside, to work on the problem now lying before him. However he may wish otherwise, he was well aware Lina would never love him anywhere near as much as she loved Stone Boy. He glared at Stone Boy, noticing the happy look on the chimera's face. Wait a minute, he was saying something . . .
"Lina . . . beloved . . . "
Xeros grinned, leaning back. Maybe this wouldn't be as difficult as he previously thought. And loads of fun to watch!