Disclaimer: I Do not own the office or anything of that matter. I wish I did, though.

So, for this story, I made the computers have remotes. My parents' computer has one, so I figured why not.

Dwight's New Computer

"Hello, hello, my little kingdom," Micheal cried, "I have a little surprise for you guys! Since our quarterly sales numbers are doing so well, Mr. David Wallace, his majesty himself -"

"Wait," interrupted Jim, "Aren't you the majesty of your kingdom?"

"Well, yes," agreed Micheal, "but David is like the king of all the kingdoms. God, Jim, didn't you ever learn the Pronarchy system in school?"

"You mean Hierarchy."

"No, Jim! Pronarchy!"

"Can I be the Assistant Royal Majesty?" asked Dwight.

"Assitant to the Royal Majesty" corrected Micheal, resulting in a sulky look from Dwight.

"What about us?" questioned a curoius Kevin.

"You will be my little slaves! Ask Stanley, he knows all about that."

"Michael, what did you just say?" inquired a disgruntled Stanley.

"OK, you know what? You all got me off track. What I was going to say was, Corporate got us new computers, and they are vedy vedy goood! So, dig in, friends!" Michael exclaimed, pointing at a giant stack of boxes.

For the sixth time today, Jim strode up to Pam's desk at reception, a remote neatly concealed in his hand.

"Hey. This, is Dwight's computer remote."

"Oh my god, how did you get this?" demanded a gleeful Pam.

"Let's just say, every single one of Dwight's safe combos correspond to a fictional character. Like for instance, the one in his second desk drawer is Spock."

At exactly 2:20, Dwight's computer screen flicked off. Quickly, Dwight cast a look around the office, pausing slightly on Jim.

"Did you do this?"

"Do what?"

Dwight gave an exasperated sigh.

"My computer just turned off Jim. Did. You. Do. This."

"What are you talking about?" Jim gave Dwight a questioning look, without a hint of a smile. He had the Pokerface perfected.

"Look, Jim, don't be an idiot. My computer has just turned -" Dwight stopped mid-sentence when he swivelled around in his chair and noticed his sales managing file on his very well lit up screen. Jim gave him an amused look, tapped his pen twice on the table, and resumed his work. Behind him, Pam was barely able to contain her giggles.

"Dammit Jim!" Dwight's computer screen had been turned black again.

"Dwight," spoke Jim, in a mockingly serious tone,"I am doing absolutley nothing. Look" And Jim held up his hands. Suddenly, what sounded like heavy metal music came blaring out of Dwight's speakers.

"Who hacked my Itunes!" demanded Dwight. "Okay, people, that is a serious crime. If the perpertrator does not present himself, I shall have to report you all to the Lackawana County Sheriff's Deputy."

"Whoa, slow down, Dwight. Maybe, no one's fooling with your computer. Maybe it's acting of it's own accord." Jim suggested, just as the song's guitar solo began.

"It's possible," admitted Dwight. "Once, my cousin Mose had a possessed wagon wheel. I beat it to it's death with my spud gun."

Later on that day, after Dwight had almost dismissed the whole "Possessed Computer" issue, Jim's computer screen all of a sudden went black.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, "who shut off my computer?" Of course, Jim was just acting - he knew that it was Pam, with his remote, but Dwight didn't! Right away, Dwight was out of his chair, spud gun in hand, yelling at Jim.

"Don't do anything! I have been placed in these situations before, and I know how to act. "Then, he proceeded to smash Jim's computer. Ignoring the office's cries of "Dwight!" and "Dwight, stop it!", he picked it up and slammed it into the ground, pieces flying everywhere. At reception, you could see Pam, mouth open, gaping at the disaster, along with Jim, who was staring at what once was his computer.

By the end of the day, Dwight's computer was on Jim's desk.

Review it and I'll cocnfiscate Dwight's spud gun, ok?