The attack was unexpected and swift and had cost them dearly.
He found her sitting on a chunk of debris, her charcoal gray fatigues stained with dirt, sweat and blood. Her elbows rested on her knees, her head in her hands. He limped over to her, his leg burning in pain from the deep shrapnel wound to his thigh. Without a word, he sat down next to her, gritting his teeth against the pain. After a few minutes she lifted her head and looked at him. There was a good sized gash on the right side of his forehead and the blood ran freely down the side of his face and neck, soaking into the collar of his shirt.
"You're bleeding", she said quietly.
He shrugged. "I've had worse."
He reached up and gently brushed his hand across the livid purple bruise forming under her left eye. He watched a tear slip from her eye and felt the warm wetness run between his fingers.
"He's gone", she said numbly. She knew it the moment it happened: a soul shattering pain had torn through her and she had cried out his name. She had wanted to collapse, to cry in anguish, but he knew she had to keep fighting.
He nodded his head silently in acknowledgement. He too knew his best friend was dead, had seen him go down during the battle. His grief was just as overwhelming as hers. He put his arm around her shoulders as she leaned heavily against him. They sat silently for a few minutes before she began to sob against him. He held her as she cried her heart out.
"What am I going to do without him?" she choked out.
He was at a loss for words. The three of them had been together for so long it was difficult to imagine life without one of them. Before he could think of an answer, a young field medic rushed up to them and silently began assessing his wounds. The medic put a hasty dressing on his head wound then carefully examined his leg.
"Sir, I think you should get to medical right away. This is pretty deep; you're losing a lot of blood."
He nodded at the medic and allowed him to help him stand up. He looked down at her, tears still lining her cheeks.
"Go", she said quietly. "You need medical attention. I'll be all right."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I want to…" she paused and swallowed hard. "You know he deserves a proper funeral. I want to make sure they all get one. I have to make sure we get them all back."
He nodded in understanding then pulled her up and into a hug. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
They parted and he was helped by the medic to a nearby transport and she made her way through the rubble to the ground commander. Body recovery was not a particularly pleasant duty, but it was something she had to do.
Two days latter they stood side by side at the memorial service for the twelve souls who lost their lives in battle. She cried for them all, but mostly for him. His loss left an unfillable gap in her life. She felt a gentle squeeze as he took her hand and glanced over to see a tear silently running down his cheek. She knew he was hurting too.
After the service, he walked her to her quarters. She refused his offer to talk, telling him she wanted to be alone. He looked slightly hurt, but allowed her the time she wanted to mourn alone. After the door closed behind her, she stood still for a few minutes as the reality that he was gone swept over her. She felt the tears begin to run down her cheeks before she collapsed in a heap to the floor, sobbing and gasping for breath. She had no idea of how she was going to move on with her life without him in it.
That's how he found her several hours later when he went to check on her; lying on the floor, head resting on her arms and quietly sobbing. He gently helped her up from the floor and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"It's going to take time. You know you don't have to go through this alone."
She pulled back a little and sniffled. "I know."
"Why don't we go for a walk? It might help you to talk about things."
She nodded and wiped at her eyes. He gave her a sad smile and took her by the hand. Together they walked and talked, both of them wondering if things would ever be the same after the loss of their best friend.