First smut piece I've written. Be nice or tear it to shreds, I don't care either way, but please, read and review! Makes for a happy SamiWami.
It goes without saying that I do not own Full Metal Panic! To be honest, it's not even my favorite anime. But this whole thing popped into my head after watching the episode where Sousuke gets dumped in the lake and when Kaname helps him up, and they're standing so close... And she's blushing and frozen... And he's completely unaffected.
I hope you enjoy!
Rating: M for masturbation and angst
Sousuke Sagara sat down heavily on the end of his bed, staring unseeingly across the room. He didn't know what he'd done to anger Miss Chidori today. He never really did. She was so… difficult to understand sometimes. It was possible that this was the most difficult mission he had ever been assigned to.
Normally he arrived, completed his orders, and returned to base. He had never been in one place for so long. And the people here… He didn't know how he was supposed to do. Violence did not work. Miss Chidori did not like it when he used his training. And what was worse, he didn't know how to distinguish the threats to Miss Chidori from the civilians. She claimed they were totally different… but he was not so sure.
He ran his hands through his hair, sighing in confusion and frustration. Why couldn't Miss Chidori see that he was doing his duty, that he was only trying to protect her? She was so resistant to his efforts. She yelled, and threw things. He'd received so many injuries from her, and he didn't know why. He fell backwards on the bed with a sigh, throwing his arms wide.
Her eyes flashed in his mind, fiery with anger. The skin across her nose wrinkled when she yelled at him. Her face flushed red when she got into his face to scream.
But as he thought about it, her face had flushed red under other circumstances. He thought back to when she had pulled him out of the lake. They had stood so close, as the circumstances demanded. But for some reason, she had been unable to move until he had spoken to her. He'd watched her for a moment as he ringed out his shirt.
He could still picture her perfectly on that day. He had been terribly concerned at the time that she needed to go to the doctor. But now that he was alone, he had time to study the image. Her eyes… Again, those golden orbs flashed behind his closed eyelids. His body flushed with warmth. His eyes snapped open, looking over himself. What was happening? Had the heat in the building increased for some reason? No, it was most definitely his own core temperature that had increased. Had he ingested something strange?
Seemingly without his will, his thoughts were pushed to the side as more images of Miss Chidori flooded through his brain. Even her scent filled his nose. The whole situation was illogical. She was not in the room. So how could these things be happening?
He felt another change come over his body, and he raised his head once more. His black pants were covering a bulge. He was no stranger to an erection. He had woken on some mornings with the uncomfortable position. But never had he gotten one so suddenly, while he was awake. He undid the buttons and the zip on his pants, trying to relieve some of the discomfort.
He laid back on the bed, trying to relax and clear his mind. He had mastery of his body. Every time he had woken up like this, he had just relaxed with a clear mind until it had gone away. But when he tried this time, those same images of Miss Chidori flooded his mind. His face burned with humiliation, and he lingered on the edge of staying here and going to take a cold shower. Miss Chidori was his charge, his mission to protect. He should not be dishonoring her in such a manner.
But the erection would not relent. The images of her just kept washing over him. He gritted his teeth, his fists balling in the sheets. He would master his body. His training dictated it. He was not one of the fools that populated the high school. He would master this. He would…
His hand drifted over his own body. It was surprisingly soft over the fabric of his school uniform. He could almost imagine they were her hands, those dazzling eyes watching his face for his every reaction. His anger at himself grew at the same time that he slipped his boxers down his narrow hips. His eyes opened to stare imploringly at the ceiling, trying to find any other way out of this. Logic dictated the fastest course of action; but he hated it all the same.
His hand wrapped firmly around his shaft, and a hiss escaped his lips at the first contact. His teeth bared, he closed his eyes and drew up the image of Kaname. Her eyes were watching him with a slightly accusatory look, but they were soft none-the-less. Her lips went to his throat, his ears. He moaned softly, and squeezed himself again. Instead of his rough military hands, he could only feel her soft, much smaller hands.
He started out slowly, his hand moving up and down the shaft, squeezing where it felt good. The sensations were so strange to him; he had never done this before. Rather than analyzing each feeling, though, he gave himself over to the rising tide of ecstasy, Kaname surrounding him and enveloping his every sense. He ran a finger over the tip of his penis, and a strangled gasp escaped his lips. He did it again, picturing her rough tongue instead of the pad of his thumb.
His face flushed, sweat rolling off of him, he pumped harder, writhing at the sensation. He didn't even hear the grunts and moans that were filling the room from his own mouth. Harder and harder he pushed and pulled. Pressure was building inside of him, a coil that was winding tighter and tighter until it would snap. His hips arched off the bed as he thrust into his own hand.
The floodgates burst open, and with a savage cry he pushed into his hand twice more. "Kaname!" he cried out. The sensations were overwhelming. He nearly passed out from the sheer intensity and novelty of it.
He came down from his high, gasps for air filling the quiet room. He raised his head when he became aware of the sticky warmth that had begun to cool across the fabric of his shirt. But when he opened his eyes, he froze. He hadn't locked the door when he came in.
Miss Chidori's wide, golden eyes stared back at him, a blank shock reflected there. He gaped at her, unsure of what to say. What did one even do in a situation like this? Had he cried her name out loud, or only in his mind? Judging by the look on her face, he had said it aloud.
"Miss Chidori!" he finally exclaimed, sitting up and pulling his jacket over him, as if it would do any good. She had already seen all that he had. "W-what are you…"
"I-I… I came…" Her voice was faint, her eyes never changing. "I came to apologize for the way I treated you earlier. I… I'm sorry I just burst in. You see, the door was unlocked and… and I heard you cry out. I'm sorry, Sousuke. I'm sorry. I…" They gaped at each other, both frozen in panic and shock. But then she wheeled towards the door, dropping the boxed dinners she had been carrying. She had a mad dash for the door, it slamming over his outcry to bring her back.
He stumbled after her, trying to tuck himself away and zip his pants up. But he stopped just short of the door, trying to stare through it. What was he expecting to do? The filth of his deed still coated his hand and his stomach. And what could he possibly say to her that could erase such a thing? It was vile, and he'd known it from the start. But he hadn't been able to help himself, like some stupid teenager. He slumped against the wall and sliding to the floor. What had he done? And what was he ever going to do to get her to forgive him? It would have hurt less if she had screamed at him, called him a perv, thrown something. He buried his head in his hands.