A tattoo appears somewhere on everyone's body once they turn 20. The tattoo is the first name of their soulmate and somewhere in the world, their soulmate bears their name in the exact same spot. His mother and father had each other's names written on their hipbones and never failed to show off the tattoos. The pressure for him to get his tattoo was anxiety inducing and terrifying all at once. He already had a vague idea of what type of name was going to appear on his body so it was just a matter of time before he found out who he was destined to be with.
But when the morning of his 20th birthday had arrived, his panic-filled fears were confirmed.
Gavin F
The first thing he did upon discovering the black lettering on his shoulder was grab his black fineliner and strategically write the first girls name he thought of just above his knee on his leg. Somewhere he knew wouldn't be suspicious if he never showed off his tattoo.
From then on he always wore shirts with sleeves to cover the name of his soulmate emblazoned on his shoulder. He never showed it to anyone. He'd always have his fineliner at the ready in case he couldn't get out of a situation in which he needed to show his tattoo. Showing his parents, friends and family the blatantly male name that resided on his left shoulder was completely out of the question.
The whole issue had been such a burden to him that he didn't even want to meet his soulmate. He was grateful when he discovered how much hehated his own first name. He opted to go by his nicer sounding middle name and he decided then and there that he wasn't going to even bother looking for his soulmate.
Ryan just didn't account for the fact that Gavin was going to find him instead.
Their first few meetings were very brief and after that Ryan got on with his work with animation and Game Fails and all his other editing while Gavin got on with various Let's Plays and AHWUs and soon became a regular Achievement Hunter. It basically meant that they rarely ever saw each other unless Ryan needed to speak to Geoff or if they passed each other in the hallways.
Ryan was quite happy with this setup he had going on. He knew who his soulmate was but didn't act upon it because it meant he could enjoy being around him without screwing anything up. He had the knowledge of who his soulmate was without becoming too involved with him or allowing Gavin to know. He could allow himself to care for Gavin without falling in love with him.
After a year or two of working at Rooster Teeth, Ryan had come to the conclusion that Gavin simply did not like him. Although it hurt to realise, Ryan couldn't help but understand the way Gavin almost seemed to distance himself from Ryan. In fact, if Ryan didn't know better then he would have assumed that Michael was Gavin's soulmate what with the way he was always plastering himself over the redhead.
But Ryan did know better. He knew that if Gavin lifted up the sleeve of his t-shirt then 'James H' would be clearly visible across his left shoulder.
Sometimes he caught himself wondering who knew about Gavin's tattoo… Geoff would probably know. Perhaps his parents would know? From what Ryan had heard, his seemed like a pretty accepting family (in stark contrast to Ryan's own family). Dan would know. There was a chance Michael knew but Ryan doubted it, he'd overheard one of their conversations about Gavin's reluctance to show his tattoo. But mostly Ryan just needed to remind himself that he wasn't planning on letting Gavin know any time soon. Or at all for that matter.
One may ask why Ryan wouldn't want anyone to know. Especially now that he works at Rooster Teeth, the most accepting place Ryan had ever had the pleasure of working at. Well, one would first have to be acquainted with Geoff. The man was practically Gavin's pseudo-father while he lived in America which made the Ramseys like his adoptive family. And if one dared to put Gavin in a potentially threatening situation, one would then meet Geoff's fury. Ryan did not want Geoff to unleash his paternal defensiveness over Gavin.
He also knew the close friendship Michael and Gavin had formed over the years. Everyone who had heard of Michael was well aware of how completely fucked they would be if they got on his bad side. He had the anger he made comedic for the Rage Quits, then he had the pure fury reserved for when he was really riled up. Ryan was definitely afraid that Michael wouldn't allow Gavin to be close with Ryan.
And then there was the issue of Ryan not really thinking he was amazing soulmate material anyway. Of course he was a bit disheartened because of Gavin's noticeable distaste towards him but there was the fact that Ryan just didn't make any move to bring them together, even merely as friends. He just didn't want to seem too enthusiastic about being closer to Gavin because he feared that if he got too close to him there would be a higher risk of Gavin discovering the tattoo.
However, it was after about a year of knowing Gavin, Ryan had really screwed himself over. He'd continuously told himself that he wasn't going to let himself get too attached to Gavin and that was going to be the end of it. He wasn't going to even let himself consider the idea of actually developing certain emotions towards Gavin. But there he was, stricken with the realisation that he'd fallen in love with Gavin Free.
Which only brought up another fear; if he were to tell Gavin that they were soulmates (which he definitely wasn't going to do), then what would Ryan do if Gavin didn't reciprocate? There were rare but not unheard of cases where soulmates stayed completely platonic and there were even rarer cases of soulmates genuinely disliking each other to the point where they developed an unhealthy love-hate relationship.
So Ryan found ways around his issue; he would distance himself ever so slightly from Gavin, he would always wear a shirt with sleeves, he would never take his shirt off, he would be careful with what he says around not just Gavin but everyone, and he wouldn't even dare participate in conversations about soulmate tattoos.
He was happily sat on the couch with his laptop balanced comfortably on his knees when his vision was suddenly obscured. After flapping his arms about for a few seconds he finally grabbed the merchandise shirt that had apparently been thrown at him and removed it from his head.
"You gonna put it on or what?" Geoff asked as he looked expectantly at Ryan before turning back to his desk and busying himself with rummaging around for something. "Jon wants pictures for the store, he said he'll have the camera ready in about fifteen minutes." Ryan nodded, not that Geoff could see, and without thinking he removed his own shirt.
It took him a couple of seconds to actually hold the new shirt the right way round before he opened it up and pulled the shirt on. But a few seconds was all that was needed. Because when Ryan turned back to Geoff, the unashamed look of complete shock was evident on his face as he stared at Ryan.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" He queried, his voice laden with confusion and disbelief as he flicked his gaze from Ryan's face to his left shoulder and back again. "Seriously dude, you need to explain this because I honestly have no fucking clue why you wouldn't want to let your soulmate know that they don't have to keep looking for you anymore."
Ryan sighed, shrugging his shoulders and suddenly finding his shoes to be of great interest to him in that moment.
"I know Gavin doesn't really like me, let alone reciprocate. I thought it would be beneficial for both of us if he didn't know I was his soulmate; I could live happily just with the knowledge that Gavin is in good care whilst he can continue with his life and perhaps even meet some woman who lost her soulmate." Ryan confessed, finally bringing himself to meet Geoff's gaze. His expression read shock and disbelief but his eyes read something more. It wasn't dissimilar to sympathy but Ryan struggled to deduce what it actually was for Geoff was expecting him to continue talking. "Gavin doesn't know that my full name is James Ryan Haywood and that's how I plan on keeping it. But I thought you already knew?"
"I knew your full name but I never really thought about the idea that you could be Gavin's James." Geoff stated, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow at Ryan. "Honestly? I thought it was just a coincidence."
"I never said anything because I didn't really think I'd be, y'know… Good enough for Gavin." Ryan admitted timidly. "And I was kinda scared you'd shoot me or something. And Michael would tear my head off. And Gavin would probably wish that James was a girl's name. And I'd probably get shit from everyone else because they'd think Gavin deserves better than the likes of me. And…"
"And what?" Geoff prompted calmly, not pressuring Ryan into talking too much but just enough for him to speak again.
"And you're the first person who's actually seen my tattoo, okay?!" Ryan confessed frustratedly, though his anger was aimed more at himself than anyone else.
"What do you mean? Did your family not make a huge deal out of it when you got it? I know mine did." Geoff asked, leaning against the desk behind him and staring at Ryan with a caring look yet the curiosity was still there.
"They did make a huge deal out of it. They made a huge deal out of a carefully written girls' name I wrote on my leg." Ryan informed, smirking when Geoff couldn't help but grin at the clever idea. "They were hugely judgemental and homophobic. I would've been kicked out or worse if I had shown them the real one."
"So what happens when your family never meet this mystery woman you made up?" Geoff wondered aloud.
"I don't know. I was just planning on telling them I simply hadn't met her yet." Ryan admitted as he fiddled with the shirt in his hands. His nerves had subsided significantly and he was finally confident in talking to Geoff about the issue. It had been one that had plagued him his whole life so the feeling that he had someone he could finally talk to was most certainly a good one. Ryan smiled over at Geoff - nothing huge, just a small thanks - and watched Geoff for his reaction.
Geoff nodded in silent awe of how well Ryan had planned this all out. He'd drawn his fake tattoo in a clever place where he wouldn't have to reveal it often or at all and he'd decided what he was going to do about his make-believe soulmate. But that was Ryan for you, always thinking creatively and outside the box.
After a long but not entirely uncomfortable pause, Geoff broke the silence and spoke up again.
"You have to tell Gavin." He declared. "He doesn't know your full name and I'm the only one who knows about his tattoo. And before you ask, yes it is in the same place as yours. Gavin Free is, without a single doubt, your soulmate."
"I can't just tell him!" Ryan stated before launching into all the reasons why he simply could not let Gavin know about this. As he spoke, Ryan felt like he was rambling. He was bound to sound stupid no matter what he said… But it felt like a heavy weight off his chest after he had confessed everything to Geoff. "-and I just don't feel like I would really make a very good soulmate. That's why I chose to just look out for Gavin instead of burdening him with me for a life partner."
When Ryan finished talking, Geoff was completely stunned by the message Ryan had gotten across. Without thinking, Geoff was walking over to Ryan and wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.
"It'll be okay, I promise. I'll even help you if you want. But you need to tell him." Geoff's words were comforting as he spoke soothingly, keeping Ryan in the embrace.
"I don't know how, though." Ryan admitted quietly. Luckily Geoff was still close enough to actually pick up the words because then he was pulling back from the embrace and forcing eye contact between them.
"You just gotta find the right time to do it." Geoff informed comfortingly as he patted Ryan on the shoulder before opening the door, hinting that they needed to leave. "And it's not that hard, usually it's pretty simple. Griffon saw mine when I first rolled my sleeves up and we just kinda rolled from there. Just go with what feels right."
"Alright, alright, I'll tell him." Ryan threw his palms up in surrender and followed Geoff out of the door with a smirk. "But I'm not making any promises that I'll do it soon."
Three weeks after their initial conversation, Geoff had given Ryan enough space and time and opportunities to quietly let slip that he was Gavin's soulmate. But every time Ryan saw an opportunity, he turned and ran in the other direction. So Geoff had started to be a little less covert in his attempts to get Ryan to show his tattoo.
In one of Geoff's attempts, he had invited the entirety of Achievement Hunter for a pool party. So far, many people were going to be there; including Michael, Lindsay, Jack, Ray, Geoff, Griffon, Caleb, Millie and Gavin.
"Sounds tippy toppers to me!" Gavin exclaimed, grinning at Geoff in agreement. Ryan forced himself to not react to the conversation. If he ignored it and focussed on his editing then he wouldn't have to participate.
"What about you Ryan?" Geoff queried and Ryan could immediately sense the meaningful look he was probably getting from Geoff right then. He'd been getting those looks a lot lately. Mainly because Geoff was still insistent upon Ryan revealing his tattoo and every opportunity that had presented itself had been politely declined by Ryan. And that was exactly what he was going to do to this offer.
"Nah, I've got a shitton of work to catch up on. You guys have fun though!" Ryan faked his enthusiasm as he watched the majority of the men in the room get all excited for that evening.
And there was the disapproving glare from Geoff. Somehow he managed to keep the rest of the office from seeing it but it was definitely there - Ryan saw the way Geoff's brows furrowed in annoyance and his nose scrunched up that tiny bit while he crossed his arms and darkened his expression solely for Ryan.
So that's how Ryan continued to live; avoiding situations where he would have to remove his shirt or have the opportunity to reveal the name on his shoulder. He knew he was procrastinating and he knew he'd have to do it in the end but it didn't stop him from putting off telling Gavin even longer. Even if the snarls and glares from Geoff were getting more and more irritated and impatient by the day.
Geoff was determined to get Ryan to reveal to Gavin that he was his soulmate while Ryan was determined to postpone the event for as long as possible. Their combined efforts pretty much counterbalanced and cancelled each other out resulting in a nervous Ryan and a pissed off Geoff. Actually, scratch that. Make it a very pissed off Geoff.
This time, the Achievement Hunters had been casually chatting and joking in the office in the middle of their lunch break. Everyone had already eaten and they still had about an hour to kill and the conversation had shifted onto the soulmate tattoos – 'yeah, thanks a lot Geoff' Ryan thought bitterly – and Lindsay had started recording on her phone.
"We didn't even know we were each other's soulmates until a week or so after we'd started dating." Michael laughed along with Lindsay as he stood up from where he'd previously been sat in his office chair.
"Yeah, it was like an unexpected advantage." Lindsay added, smiling sweetly at her fiancé who removed his beanie and ruffled his curls a bit to get his hair out of the way, revealing the back of his neck which had 'Lindsay T' written in neat black lettering. Lindsay handed the camera over to Ray and held her long red hair to the side as she stood next to Michael so both of their soulmate tattoos were visible, 'Michael J' written on hers in the same black font.
Ryan continued to watch quietly as the other Achievement Hunters discussed their tattoos and who their soulmates were. Geoff had been the one to initiate the conversation after he'd mentioned that he and Griffon had immediately clicked after discovering that they were each other's soulmate. Michael was more than happy to show off his tattoo and Lindsay was more than happy to record it, perhaps for an RT Life video; the audience always seemed to get a kick out of seeing the soulmate tattoos of the Rooster Teeth employees.
"Hey Jack, show us yours!" Ray enthused as he skipped across the room, camera in hand, over to Jack's desk. The older man showed the room the inside of his wrist where 'Caiti W' was tattooed and Ray made sure to get a good close-up of it. His idea was clear to everyone now. Ray was going round the room and getting each Achievement Hunter to show their tattoo. It was evident when Geoff pointed to the framed picture on the wall of him and Griffon – even with the other tattoos she had, 'Geoff F' was clearly visible on Griffon's forearm - then rolled up the sleeve of his shirt to show where Griffon's name was written in the same spot.
"Hey dude, gimme the camera and we'll show yours." Michael suggested, smiling cheerfully as he took the camera from Ray and pointing it at him.
"Hey guys, I've already found my soulmate!" Ray exclaimed, picking up a pen and writing 'Ryan G' on the back of his hand. "The one and only Ryan Gosling." He said with a satisfied grin. Lindsay giggled and Michael groaned but she forced him to keep the camera steady to show off the poor handwriting skills of Ray. "He's the only one for me." Ray said wistfully.
"No but seriously, Ray. Show us the real one." Michael requested, unable to keep himself from smirking at Ray's crazy antics.
"Ugh, fine. At least you've met your soulmate." Ray complained as he lifted up the hem of his shirt to reveal the name of someone they'd never even met on his right hipbone.
"This video's going on the internet. I'll bet ten bucks that you meet her within a year." Michael declared, offering his hand for Ray to take. Ryan had to admit, Michael had a point. Anything on the internet has the potentiality to go viral. For all they know, Ray's soulmate could be a frequent member of the RT audience.
"Meh, whatever. It'll be an easy ten bucks then." Ray chuckled as he agreed and shook Michael's hand.
"What about yours, Gavin?" Michael asked, looking over to the Brit who actually looked a little bit nervous. Ryan knew why but there was no way he was going to let on. When Gavin- if Gavin shows his tattoo then Ryan and Geoff were both already aware what it was going to say.
"Uh…" Gavin hesitated, casting a quick glance over to Geoff for assistance. When Geoff nodded and smiled encouragingly, Gavin grumbled and swivelled in his chair so everyone had a better view of where his tattoo was. Slowly (and almost reluctantly) he pulled up the short sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal the smooth black lettering of 'James H' that was written across the very top of his bicep.
"So we have two soulmates we gotta send out search parties for." Michael said when he didn't recognise the name. "Ryan, c'mon, restore the hope. I don't think I can handle having to find three people."
"Uhh..." One glance over at Geoff told Ryan that it was now or never. Well, more like now or a punch in the face later.
"Come oooon Ryan! I wanna know who it is!" Ray pleaded, wringing his hands exaggeratedly and bumping into Michael as he did so. Michael played along and nudged Ray back but stopped after that.
"It's not that important, it's just a tattoo. I don't think these things are 100% accurate all the ti-"
"Oh just show us the fuckin' tattoo. Jeez, Ryan. Anyone would have thought you don't wanna show us." Geoff snapped, scowling at Ryan and somehow making sure the other Achievement Hunters thought that it was in a joking way. But his words got them all thinking the same questions: why the mystery? What harm can a name and one initial do? There must be an interesting reason. All it did was make them even more curious than they were before.
After a few more chants of "do it, do it, do it" from Ray, pleads from Lindsay and Michael, pressure from Jack and Gavin, and accusatory glares from Geoff, Ryan finally caved.
"Okay, okay, I'll show you." Ryan said, giving in to the pressure that won the battle with his inner fears. He really didn't want to do this. But he couldn't back out now, it would be too suspicious.
Ryan shot Gavin an apologetic glance before turning to the right a bit so everyone could see. They all watched in anticipation as Ryan held onto the loose fabric of his left t-shirt sleeve and paused again. Gavin's expression turned into one of slow realisation but stayed laced with confusion.
'Fuck' Ryan knew what Gavin was thinking. Soulmate tattoos were always in the same place. And Gavin certainly wasn't stupid. He was actually extremely intelligent and that was one of the many things Ryan loved about him, he just got confused and had different ways of saying things. Like when he'd said that the sky was bigger than the ground; he wasn't wrong, it was just a unique way of saying it. That's what Gavin was, unique.
"For the record, Geoff's making me do this." Ryan blurted out before averting his gaze from everyone in the room and focussing on the ceiling as he yanked up his sleeve.
The room fell silent with shock and only Michael's voice could be heard in the room.
"No fucking way."
Before Ryan had even managed to pull the sleeve of his shirt back down, Gavin had stood up. All eyes were on them as Gavin grabbed Ryan by the arm and tugged him up from the couch then out of the office, only coming to a halt once they passed through the main doors to the building an stood outside in the warm car park.
Ryan's inner monologue was having a mild panic attack as he tried to calm himself down enough to speak clearly and untainted. But he couldn't help but fixate on Gavin's face. The Brit looked like he was still processing the new information. His eyes were focused on the top of Ryan's left bicep and his brows were furrowed. Ryan felt like Gavin was burning a hole through his arm. He wasn't used to getting stared at with such intrigue or intent.
"Show me the tattoo again..." Gavin's demand came out more like a request. "I just want to make sure that what I saw, or what I thought I saw was actually right because if I saw wrong then uh, I'm in a bit of trouble... But it'd be pretty funny."
Ryan forced himself to look at Gavin's face as he watched Ryan lift up his sleeve once again.
Gavin F
Gavin lifted his own sleeve to reveal his tattoo for the second time that day.
James H
Gavin's brows furrowed even more in confusion as he looked from one tattoo to the other.
"James Ryan Haywood." Ryan said, definitely sounding more confident than he felt. He felt like he was about to pass out because of nerves. And he never got nervous. "I absolutely loathe my first name so I go by my middle name instead. Besides, Ryan Haywood has more of a ring to it than James Haywood."
Gavin huffed amusedly and broke out in a massive grin, unable to control it as he looked at Ryan as if seeing him for the first time.
"I do apologise for not showing it to you earlier." Ryan sounded sincere and his expression matched his tone.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I honestly thought you didn't like me. And I thought Geoff would simply not allow me to be with you. And I assumed Michael would lose his shit as well, among others. And the fans are gonna be disappointed that I'm your soulmate, not Michael or some other attractive woman or anyone else... I thought you'd be disappointed that it's just me so I thought I'd compromise by just watching out for you from afar because I really did believe that you didn't like me." Gavin listened with a sorrowful expression but allowed Ryan to speak. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew this was something Ryan had to say. Even if it was all false, Ryan needed to get it off his chest. So when he finished, it felt as though he was finally free of the weight on his shoulders.
"You bloody stupid dope. We're both complete idiots!" Gavin exclaimed, giggling along with Ryan as he relished in the feeling of finally letting his worries free. "I thought you didn't like me so I didn't want to be an annoyance when I realised I wanted to be closer to you. I know it sounds cheesy and cliché as hell but it was almost like my soul wanted to be closer to yours."
"I know the feeling." Ryan admitted with a smile. "It's a good one."
There was a pause. Nothing half as lengthy or awkward as earlier; this one was mutual and far more comfortable and relaxing.
Warnings weren't needed when Gavin stepped forward and closed the gap between them, throwing his arms around Ryan's chest and hugging him tightly. When Ryan wrapped his arms around Gavin's lower back and returned the embrace, he revelled in the way it felt like his whole body had been craving this contact since forever. Gavin was warm like a furnace but it wasn't uncomfortable, it felt normal as they absorbed the rays from the sun and the heat from each other. Gavin's hair was soft as it brushed against Ryan's neck and Ryan couldn't help but sigh in giddy happiness.
They stayed like that for what felt like decades as they basked in the fact that not only had they finally found their soulmate, but they had both accepted each other with open arms (literally and metaphorically). But when Gavin pulled back slightly, it was only to smile adoringly at Ryan before leaning forward to press a soft kiss on his lips. It was gentle and quick and confident yet still a little bit scared. However, when Gavin discovered how completely natural it felt to have Ryan that close and to feel Ryan's lips on his own, he smiled as if he'd been waiting for that his whole life.
Both of their souls felt like they were all but singing with complete joy. Which only made them both grin even wider as Gavin shifted his arms to take Ryan's face in his hands and kiss him again. This time for longer but it still retained the sweetness and happiness of their first kiss. Neither man could help but smile a little bit into the kiss as they relished in the fact that they finally had each other right there.
Their kiss wasn't heated but it definitely wasn't chaste as Ryan intertwined his fingers together at the small of Gavin's back to pull him closer. And they probably would have stayed out there for hours if they hadn't heard the front door to the building open.
"Well, I'm glad I don't have to keep kicking Ryan's ass for not telling you, Gav." Geoff admitted, announcing his presence.
Ryan and Gavin reluctantly broke their kiss and turned to look at him, both with elated expressions.
"Wait, you knew?!" Gavin squawked, evidently surprised but in no state to bring himself to be annoyed at either of them.
"Why else do you think I've been consistently trying to get him to show off his tattoo for the past month?" Geoff replied, laughing as he merely remembered the numerous failed attempts.
"So you let Geoff know but not me?" Gavin asked rhetorically and interrupted when he saw that Ryan was about to launch into an apology. "Don't be sorry, I'm just glad you finally found the balls to let me know." Gavin smiled and kissed Ryan softly on his nose.
"Come on assholes, we should get back inside. The others would not shut up about how they should send Ray to sneak out with the camera and film whatever happens." Geoff complained dryly but no annoyance or irritation was even barely audible in his voice. "I told them your full name as well."
He knew what it was like to finally meet your soulmate; it was an event neither of them were ever going to forget. It was something special; two souls finally bonding together after being split for so long and the physical reaction that had on a person was unbelievable. Both of them were going to feel like they were on cloud nine for at least a full week, maybe even longer seeing how they had postponed this for such a long time. But even after they come down from the initial high there will still be times where they feel light as a feather because of their shared joy.
Geoff was lucky enough to be around numerous people when try realised their soulmates. He'd witnessed the interactions of Michael and Lindsay, of Jack and Caiti, of a few people at his old job and now he could add Ryan and Gavin to that list. It was always a memorable thing to happen and it was rewarding just to bear witness to the event unfold before his very eyes. He'd noticed how Gavin seemed to know what Ryan's tattoo was going to say just as he reached for his sleeve. He'd noticed how they only had eyes for each other ever since they'd had their conversation outside.
And he was the one who had to take the photo for Gavin to put on Twitter; Ryan had stood behind Gavin and they had both rolled their left sleeves up so 'James H' and 'Gavin F' were both visible. The picture was taken of their sides and Ryan had looked a little bit timid in the photo but the way they both looked happier than they had ever felt in their entire lives had completely overridden that. Gavin had sent the picture to his Twitter account along with the caption "finally found him RyanTheTwit. Gavin David Free and James Ryan Haywood."