Out of the labyrinth—And into a new one.
I am going to tell you about two things today, 1) The last minutes I spent as a person, and 2) The first days I spent being dead.
I am sure you know about how I died and where I was going and why and everything, so I am not going to bore you with that. I am going to bore you with something else entirely. As I hit that unfortunate cop car that morning, my car's steering wheel split my chest in two and in the millisecond before it hit and I died, I thought about two things. It is funny how much you can think in a millisecond, and how much you wish in that moment that you had more time. The first thing I thought about was my mother. I thought about how I had failed her, and how not a day went by since her dying, and not a day goes by even now, when I don't think about what I did, and I don't feel the inescapable, LITERALLY INESCAPABLE EVEN DUE TO DEADNESS, guilt of doing what I did. The second thought was a little surprising to me. The second thought was of Miles Halter, my bony crooked neighbor. I did not realize how much I cared about him until then, and in realizing how much I cared, I also realized that I loved him. And I thought if I survive this I'm going to dump Jake and kiss Pudge and we will be happy and everything, but, as we all know, I did not survive. I wished I would have realized this earlier, I wished I could have told him, I wished he knew I was thinking of him when I died, and I wished I had more time. But alas, my time in the labyrinth was over, and I suspected that his was just beginning. My labyrinth began when I let my mother died; I guess his began when he let me die.
The steering wheel crashes into my chest and I feel my lungs collapsing, I gasp for a breath but I cannot breath. I don't know how long it took for my heart to stop, but it certainly felt like an eternity. An eternity of blinding, literally blinding, pain as everything went black. A breath that would never come, a heart that would never beat. I did not scream, I just thought my last thoughts, I thought of what I left behind, a drunken kiss, a hopeless legacy, hurt, anger and pain. And in that moment, I think I did deserve to die.
Next up was white. Everything was white as I opened my eyes again, and I did not know where I was or the time of day or how much time had elapsed since my accident. I looked around in despair and I couldn't make out where the room began and where it ended. I looked down at my chest and it was perfectly fine. There was no scar, no trace of the accident. I thought I dreamt that accident, but then what was this? Was this some dumb prank Pudge and the Colonel were playing? I did not even dare to think that I had crossed over, that I was actually, literally, in the Promised Land. I am not going to lie and tell you that I heard God in that moment, nor have I heard him since then. It was just white. I began running towards the direction I was facing, and I realized that this place had no edge, no edge like the universe. Suddenly, I tripped and fell over, and as I closed and opened my eyes again, I was in another, scarier, room.
Scarier how? Well, for starters, this one had people. All of them were about my age, maybe some were older, some younger. Most of them were in a state of perpetual confusion, others were relaxed. Some were walking, some were sitting on chairs, chattering, laughing, crying, whatever. I got up and explored this space. It was not all white like the previous one, this one was more earth like, like it was made for us. I walked about and asked a girl, perhaps 16 years of age, where I was. She had one of those loving smiles, which used to annoy me when I was alive, but now felt really comforting.
"Hi" she said, "You, my friend, are dead, and this is where you will spend your days until…"
"Until what?"
She shrugged, and changed the subject. "So what's your name?"
"Uh, Alaska, Alaska Young"
I waved her off, too confused to chit chat, too confused to ponder over 'until…'
Around the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a boy. He was tall, and muscular, like a taller, better looking version of The Colonel. What made me notice him was that he was unusually ecstatic for guy who had just died. He was jumping up and down like he had not done it for a long long time. There was no one with him so I decided I'd go figure out what in the damned hell he was so happy about while the rest of us were so perplexed.
"Uh, Hi, Could you, uh, tell me what the hell is going on here?"
"I have no idea!" He said, with a large, goofy smile.
"Then what the hell are you jumping about for?"
"I got my leg back! I can jump! I can jump, beautiful stranger, I have never felt so alive!"
Only then did I realize that like I did not have any scars on my chest, he had a leg he did not have when he was alive. Simultaneously, I also blushed because he called me beautiful. People always called me hot, or told me I had a nice body or a nice rack, and it really annoyed me. But this guy, He told me I was beautiful. I am sure Pudge thought the same but he seldom told me.
"Alaska Young" I said, as I shook his hand.
"Agustus Waters".
That is all I am going to tell you about today, If you want to hear about how I befriended, and explored the world with this Waters fellow, let me know, and I will take you along, I will show you something.
