A/N: In honour of Pride Month, 2018, and in homage to all those in the community who struggle with their feelings and think there must be something wrong with them when there really isn't, I present you an angsty wolfstar. Sparked by the anonymous submission for the "First Sentence" challenge on Tumblr, this is for all of you. May your flag fly high.
xx-Kitten.
Monster Kisses
By Kittenshift17
"I think you're being ridiculous," he said, rolling his eyes. "Of course, I want to snog you right now, who wouldn't? Now stop fidgeting, I'm trying to give you a goddamned kiss."
Remus Lupin blushed crimson, fidgeting all the more as Sirius Black leaned toward him, intent on snogging him for no apparent reason other than that he wanted to.
"Sirius..." Remus interrupted when the other boy was just an inch away, his nose almost touching Remus's.
"Yes, Remus?" Sirius asked, his voice low and husky, his eyes fixed on Remus's lips.
"This is a bad idea," Remus said, his stomach tied in knots and his heart pounding in his ears.
He could smell the lust pouring off Sirius and he knew the other boy wanted him, but Remus knew only too well that it was just a side-effect of his lycanthropy. This time of the month, just hours before the full moon, he was at his horniest and his most alluring. It had only been a matter of time before his attraction to his dark-haired, grey-eyed best friend would lure Sirius into wanting to try something with him.
"It's the best idea I've had all bloody day, Remus," Sirius disagreed. "Please?"
"I… you only want me right now because of my condition," Remus whispered, pulling away. "My lycanthropy makes my body emit pheromones and they're affecting you. It'll pass if we just… ignore it."
The words pained him, but for fuck's sake, he wanted to do the right thing. He knew he wouldn't survive if, tomorrow, Sirius looked at him like the monster he was. He couldn't bear losing Sirius over a moment's raging lust.
Sirius pulled back a little bit, his eyes flashing in annoyance.
"Remus?" Sirius asked after a long moment of silence that saw the other boy staring at him like he was a complex Arithmancy equation he couldn't quite figure out.
"Mmm?" Remus hummed, not trusting his voice to speak when his jeans were cutting off his circulation, he wanted his best friend so badly.
"I've been ignoring it, mate," Sirius said quietly.
Remus's head jerked up, his eyes widening as he met Sirius's eyes.
"I've been trying to ignore this urge to snog you for bloody years, Remus. And I'm getting tired of ignoring it. I want you. Not because of some bullshit pheromones or the full moon, or because you're a werewolf. I want you because you're a big dork, sitting there with ink stains on your fingers, trying not to swear in the middle of the bloody library in case Pince hears and kicks us out again. Now, are you going to stop fidgeting so I can kiss you, or should I just forget this permeating ache that's been getting stronger and stronger every blood month since fourth year?"
Remus blinked at Sirius for a long moment, trying to clamp down the urge he had to lunge across the table and have his way with the other boy. He tried, and he failed. Sirius emitted a small sound of shock when Remus's hand shot out, gripping the back of his neck and jerking him forward before planting his lips on his.
Sirius melted against him almost instantly, leaning into him and proving that his years as a notorious skirt-chaser and all-around rake made themselves known in the way he cheekily nipped Remus's lower lip before coaxing his lips apart and sweeping his tongue in to tangle with Remus's. Remus emitted a low, purring sort of growl of contentment, using his superior strength to pull Sirius closer, dragging him across the small space that had been separating them and curling his free arm around Sirius's back.
The sweep of his tongue against Remus's, the wicked way he licked and suckled, and played with Remus was driving him mad and Remus feared he might lose control of Moony right there in the middle of the library.
Before he could do something rash, like shredding Sirius's shirt, the sound of someone clearing their throat intruded on his senses and Remus jerked back from Sirius in surprise, fear swamping his mind and clearing his head of the lust induced fog.
Fuck!
They'd been caught.
He'd just snogged his best mate – another bloke – in the middle of the library and they'd been fucking caught! His eyes wide, Remus searched the area with for the culprit of the throat clearing, his cheeks flushing crimson.
James Potter stood before them, his hands on his hips, his glasses slipping down his nose, and his shirt untucked. He was eyeing the two of them strangely and Remus darted a glance at Sirius.
"Well…." James grunted. "Fucking finally!"
Remus's eyes widened.
"What?" he managed.
"Pads, this doesn't count as you winning the bet that he'd kiss you some time this year. I heard you seducing him. We agreed that it doesn't count if you seduce him."
Remus blinked, his brow furrowing. He turned to look at Sirius, his face pulling into a frown.
"You… had a bet with James about snogging me?" Remus asked.
"I… not like that, Moony," Sirius said, looking worried when he realized he'd hurt Remus's feelings. "I've been telling James for ages that I was going to convince you to snog me, and he reckoned that you'd never go for me. Reckoned you had more sense."
"You…" Remus shook his head. "This is just… I…"
Remus couldn't stand it. Pushing back from the desk, he rose shakily to his feet. He needed to get to the shack. His hurt was transforming into anger, and a low growl slipped between his teeth as Moony latched onto the anger at the idea of being played for a fool.
"Moony," Sirius said, also rising.
"Moony, mate, it's not like that," James protested. "Sirius has been mad for you for ages and trying to fight his bloody feelings thinking you'd never go for him. And so I bet him that you would, because I'm not bloody blind and I can see that you two fancy the bloody pants off each other from a mile away."
Remus growled and the two of them fell silent.
"This isn't a fucking joke!" he snarled at them angrily, stalking out of the library and needing to get to the Shack so he could rip himself apart in private.
"Remus!" Sirius called, running after him when he left the library.
Remus moved faster, hearing Sirius gaining on him.
"Remus, it's not what you think. I just didn't think you'd ever fancy me or want to snog me, and… could you stop running, mate? Please?"
Remus spun on him, baring his teeth furiously. "You made a fucking fool of me, Sirius. I can see now exactly how all those girls you lure into the stacks feel. You just don't fucking care who you toy with or who you hurt!"
Shoving Sirius hard in the chest, he spun and ran for it, running all the way to the shack on the grounds, not even needing to bother with pressing the knot to immobilize the Whomping Willow because he was moving too fast for the tree to catch him.
"Should've known," he muttered when he was finally alone. "I should've fucking known! No one wants the kisses of a fucking monster like me!"
