After watching tonight's Alias, this is actually what I wish would happen on the show. However, since I'm a lot better at writing ER fan fic, I figured the same scenario could happen on the show, and wrote this story. It's now 10 minutes til 2 in the morning, and if I fall asleep in class tomorrow, this fic is being blamed. So please review so I have something going for me. This is a stand alone for now, but I might continue if I get feedback. Hope you enjoy!

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"I can't do this anymore." She sat up in the bed and began to look for her shirt. He turned on his side and watched her naked back move slightly as she twister her arms through the sheets.

"What?" He answered, pretending he didn't know what she was talking about.

"I told myself I'd never be the other woman. I know how it feels. I've been on the other side of this before." She finally finds her pants and quickly pulls them on before standing up. She brushes a stray piece of hair away from her face and notices another article of clothing lying on the floor. With one hand on the bed to balance herself, she bends down to grab the black bra. As she goes to stand back up, he grabs her hand and pulls her towards him.

"You're not the other woman. You're the only woman." He pushes himself upward to catch her lips in his own. As much as she tries to stop herself, she can't help but allow a small moan to escape from her mouth. His lips move down and start forming a trail from her chin to the small crevice in her neck. She places both her hands on either side of his face and looks him in the eyes. They plead with her to just stay a little longer with him, and not to leave him alone in the king size bed that they have been sharing for a little over an hour. He continues to watch her as she lowers herself onto his chest, with her left ear over his heart. Her right arm is draped over his body and he takes the opportunity to use his free hand to gently trace a line up and down her back.

"It's too complicated Carter." She finally says, and shuts her eyes. "That seems to always be our unraveling."

"Has it become that much more complicated in the past three weeks?"

"I think it was always this complicated and neither one of us wanted to admit it."

"Abby, I love you." He expected some sort of reaction from this statement, yet got none.

"I know." She said nonchalantly, as if he had only said that her car was out of gas. "And that's why I need to go. I think she's starting to suspect something."

"Who?"

"Your wife."

"Why? Did she say something to you?" With her head still pressed to his chest, she can feel his heartbeat start to quicken. She rolls off of him and starts putting the bra on as she answers him.

"This isn't going to end well, you know that right, John? She's bound to find out. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together eventually." She's having trouble with the clasp and he reaches over to help her. "I'm just saying that can't go any further."

He is once again surprised by her voice. This time she is speaking firmly, as if she has practiced saying the words before they actually came out of her mouth.

"Why can't it?"

"Do you love her?"

"I told you that I love you."

"Are you going to leave her? Become one of those men that leaves his wife for his mistress, that abandons the life that he has built for himself over a moment of lust?" She finally gets up off the bed again and goes over to the chair where her shirt is strewn.

"Abby, this isn't lust."

"Then are you going to leave her?" Abby stops and looks at him.

"I can't do that, not yet." He replies.

"Well when you do, give me a call." She pulls on her blouse and buttons it as she slides her feet into her shoes and exits the room. He watches her go, knowing there is nothing that he can say to keep her. He sighs and glances at his watch.

"When does your shift start?" Carter calls through the room, knowing that even though she is being silent, Abby is still there.

"In an hour." Her response comes a moment later.

"Do you want me to run you home?"

"No, I'm going to take the El." This is their almost daily ritual. Because he had kept his apartment, even after moving back into the mansion, this is where they meet. He knows that his wife doesn't even know this place exists, and this is the main reason that it is where they come. It is the same each time. They meet after their shift, maybe order in some food if they are hungry, and then spend the next few hours in bed. After she gets dressed, he offers to drive her home, yet she always refuses. Eventually, she leaves and he takes a shower and then heads home.

She walks back into the bedroom and sits down on the edge of the bed, careful to be as far away from him as possible.

"It's not fair to them."

"They have one John Carter, the other is here." Her face forms a small smile as these words process through her head.

"It's not fair to him, Carter. You work insane hours as it is being Chief Resident. It's selfish to keep you here away from him, he's your son." As always, she is the voice of reason, the one that keeps them both in a reality zone.

"So this is it then?" He says, unable to meet his eyes with hers.

"Yeah." She once again stands up and look at him one last time. "I'll see you around."

And with that she is gone. He doesn't know why she continues to come to him like this. After he broke up with her in that letter, he wasn't even sure she would ever even talk to him again. He does love her, but this isn't about love. This is about fate, and destiny, and chance. It was fate that she caught him shooting up all those years ago, it was destiny that he would fall in love with her, and it was chance that she would fall in love with him.

This cycle had changed recently however. He came back from Africa with a pregnant girlfriend, she was in med school. They had both changed, whether they knew it or not. He had gotten married and his wife had given birth to a son, Abby continued to push herself with med school. They rarely talked, except when working together on a patient, and outside of this, it was usually a polite small talk.

This went on for several months, until one day a patient died, and John had gone for a walk. He had wound up at their bench, which was already being occupied by her. He had sat down and they had talked. He said all the things that he hadn't been able to tell her before, about how his grandmother's death had affected him, and how Africa had changed him. She finally opened up about her reasons in going back to med school, how his going back to Africa when she asked him not to had upset her, and how she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to let herself love anyone again.

It was like the old times, when it had been simple and they weren't tangled up in feelings for each other. Yet that never seemed to last long, and even as they sat on the bench, they were unable to resist. Neither knew who initiated it, but soon they were kissing and it was like no time had passed.

A cell phone rang, bringing Carter out of his daydream. He looked around the room, and finally finds it by his own shoe.

"Hello?" He answers. "Hey, I was just about to call you. I'll be home in a little bit. Okay. Bye."

He starts to wonder if maybe she does know. Has she noticed the insomnia that has kept him awake for hours recently? That he can't seem to eat a complete meal without feeling sick to his stomach. He is inflicting the pain that he is afraid to cause her upon himself. He didn't intend for this to happen. It seems like his life is out of his control now. And he wonders if he will ever have that control back again.