Amazing Grace
by Dessa
Disclaimer: I neither own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor the song "Amazing Grace." Also note that this is based on the manga, rather than the anime.
Italics mean thoughts /Italics with bars/ mean song lyrics
~~~~~
Cho Hakkai never believed in God. But perhaps one Sunday morning will change his mind...
~~~~~
He'd never had a use for any god. What god would separate a young boy from his only family? What was it he'd told the nuns, growing up in that orphanage? "God's incompetent." It didn't matter to him which god it was, whether it be the gods that the Buddhists prayed to, or the one God that the nuns had taught him about. He'd seen to many things be allowed to happen in this world to believe in any of them.
Kanan always wore a cross. He didn't know if it was a relic from the orphanage she'd grown up in, or if she actually believed the faith. He'd always had problems believing that someone could be so selfless to actually let himself be killed for other people. "Live for your own sake." That's what Sanzo always said, and he supposed that that's how he'd always lived anyway.
What would Kanan think of him, if she could see him today? Would she see Cho Gonou, the man whom she had fallen in love with, despite him being her younger brother? Or would she see Cho Hakkai, the man who lived his life with an eternal smile, to hide the pain of his past, and the sins that he'd committed.
"Sin." The nuns had said that it meant "separation from God." That sin was what happened when you didn't follow His way. But his sins were a result of Kanan's kidnapping. If he had've been following God, would God have saved Kanan? He doubted it.
"Ah! A town!" a voice cut through his thoughts. "Sanzo, harahetta!" Goku yelled.
"Urusai!" the monk yelled, hitting the younger boy over the head with his harissen. He smiled. Some things never changed.
~~~~~
Hakkai sighed again. The list of supplies they needed was pretty long, so he decided to set out early that Sunday morning. Gojyo had come in pretty late that night, so it wasn't surprising that he was still asleep. He assumed Sanzo was still sleeping, even though it was dangerous to assume anything about Sanzo. Even Goku was still asleep. Only Hakuryuu was awake, waking with its master, and so only Hakuryuu accompanied Hakkai on his shopping.
Hakkai was walking through the town, when he saw a crowd gathered. In the distance, he could see the tell-tale steeple that marked a church building. Finding a clear spot, he saw four villagers carrying a wooden casket. A funeral, he thought, and Hakuryuu nuzzled his cheek. When the funeral procession reached the steps of the small church, he saw two men bow to the pallbearers. One he recognized from his youth as a preacher, and the other, he assumed, must be a family member of the deceased.
The crowd followed the pallbearers and two men into the church. Something piqued his curiosity, and he followed the crowd into the church, staying in the back where he was unnoticed by anyone. He had not been in a church service since he was young and in the orphanage, and even then, he'd never been to a funeral. He watched the proceedings with interest, learning that the man was not just a family member, but had been the fiancé of the deceased, who was quite beautiful, if the photographs up front did her any justice.
After the service, he was about to slip out the back, before anyone saw him, and asked uncomfortable questions as to why he was there, when a choir stood up and started singing a hymn. He remembered hearing the hymn when he was a child.
/Amazing Grace, how sweet the song/ /That saved a wretch like me/ /I once was lost, but now am found/ /Was blind, but now I see/
Hakuryuu let off a soft "kyuu," and Hakkai noticed that tears were falling onto the small dragon from his own eyes. How could something that he'd never believed as a child affect him so much now? He reached his hand into his pocket, and felt the old pocket watch.
/Thru many dangers, toils and snares/ /I have already come/ /'Tis grace hath brought me save thus far/ /And grace will lead me home/
He'd had been through a lot, that was true, both with his companions, and without. Impossible situations, and somehow, he'd still made it out, the only marks being the scar on his stomach, and the artificial right eye. Perhaps there was someone or ones watching over him. He smiled to himself. Kanan must've believed at least some of this, to be wearing that necklace. Perhaps there was something here that he could believe as well.
And maybe God, or the gods, or whatever, aren't so incompetent after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Japanese Words and Phrases:
·harahetta- "I'm hungry"
·urusai- "Shut up!"; literally "loud", so by saying "urusai", you'd be
telling someone that they're being loud, and that they should be the
opposite.
·harissen- fan. In this case, a paper fan that Sanzo carries around in
his robes (with his gun).
~~~~~
Thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter, I'm just re-uploading it with spelling corrections and a glossary.
by Dessa
Disclaimer: I neither own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor the song "Amazing Grace." Also note that this is based on the manga, rather than the anime.
Italics mean thoughts /Italics with bars/ mean song lyrics
~~~~~
Cho Hakkai never believed in God. But perhaps one Sunday morning will change his mind...
~~~~~
He'd never had a use for any god. What god would separate a young boy from his only family? What was it he'd told the nuns, growing up in that orphanage? "God's incompetent." It didn't matter to him which god it was, whether it be the gods that the Buddhists prayed to, or the one God that the nuns had taught him about. He'd seen to many things be allowed to happen in this world to believe in any of them.
Kanan always wore a cross. He didn't know if it was a relic from the orphanage she'd grown up in, or if she actually believed the faith. He'd always had problems believing that someone could be so selfless to actually let himself be killed for other people. "Live for your own sake." That's what Sanzo always said, and he supposed that that's how he'd always lived anyway.
What would Kanan think of him, if she could see him today? Would she see Cho Gonou, the man whom she had fallen in love with, despite him being her younger brother? Or would she see Cho Hakkai, the man who lived his life with an eternal smile, to hide the pain of his past, and the sins that he'd committed.
"Sin." The nuns had said that it meant "separation from God." That sin was what happened when you didn't follow His way. But his sins were a result of Kanan's kidnapping. If he had've been following God, would God have saved Kanan? He doubted it.
"Ah! A town!" a voice cut through his thoughts. "Sanzo, harahetta!" Goku yelled.
"Urusai!" the monk yelled, hitting the younger boy over the head with his harissen. He smiled. Some things never changed.
~~~~~
Hakkai sighed again. The list of supplies they needed was pretty long, so he decided to set out early that Sunday morning. Gojyo had come in pretty late that night, so it wasn't surprising that he was still asleep. He assumed Sanzo was still sleeping, even though it was dangerous to assume anything about Sanzo. Even Goku was still asleep. Only Hakuryuu was awake, waking with its master, and so only Hakuryuu accompanied Hakkai on his shopping.
Hakkai was walking through the town, when he saw a crowd gathered. In the distance, he could see the tell-tale steeple that marked a church building. Finding a clear spot, he saw four villagers carrying a wooden casket. A funeral, he thought, and Hakuryuu nuzzled his cheek. When the funeral procession reached the steps of the small church, he saw two men bow to the pallbearers. One he recognized from his youth as a preacher, and the other, he assumed, must be a family member of the deceased.
The crowd followed the pallbearers and two men into the church. Something piqued his curiosity, and he followed the crowd into the church, staying in the back where he was unnoticed by anyone. He had not been in a church service since he was young and in the orphanage, and even then, he'd never been to a funeral. He watched the proceedings with interest, learning that the man was not just a family member, but had been the fiancé of the deceased, who was quite beautiful, if the photographs up front did her any justice.
After the service, he was about to slip out the back, before anyone saw him, and asked uncomfortable questions as to why he was there, when a choir stood up and started singing a hymn. He remembered hearing the hymn when he was a child.
/Amazing Grace, how sweet the song/ /That saved a wretch like me/ /I once was lost, but now am found/ /Was blind, but now I see/
Hakuryuu let off a soft "kyuu," and Hakkai noticed that tears were falling onto the small dragon from his own eyes. How could something that he'd never believed as a child affect him so much now? He reached his hand into his pocket, and felt the old pocket watch.
/Thru many dangers, toils and snares/ /I have already come/ /'Tis grace hath brought me save thus far/ /And grace will lead me home/
He'd had been through a lot, that was true, both with his companions, and without. Impossible situations, and somehow, he'd still made it out, the only marks being the scar on his stomach, and the artificial right eye. Perhaps there was someone or ones watching over him. He smiled to himself. Kanan must've believed at least some of this, to be wearing that necklace. Perhaps there was something here that he could believe as well.
And maybe God, or the gods, or whatever, aren't so incompetent after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Japanese Words and Phrases:
·harahetta- "I'm hungry"
·urusai- "Shut up!"; literally "loud", so by saying "urusai", you'd be
telling someone that they're being loud, and that they should be the
opposite.
·harissen- fan. In this case, a paper fan that Sanzo carries around in
his robes (with his gun).
~~~~~
Thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter, I'm just re-uploading it with spelling corrections and a glossary.
