disclaimer: ohmigod, it's a Kingdom Hearts. can I have it please, mommy?

warning: OOC, really bad writing, shonen-ai, implied suicide, etc, etc.


You're painting your walls red, red paint and markers and it's getting all over everything, your hair and face and skin and bed but no, you don't really care.

It's really nice red which matches your clothes and sheets and that lovely lovely liquid that comes out when you slit your wrists open and it's beautiful, but nobody else thinks so, so you don't tell anyone.

So then you keep on living this way, you with your red walls and wrists, because nobody cares enough about you except to yell at you and get mad, even those so-called friends of yours.

And really, they all act nice to you but when it's over and done with you'll be the odd one out again, you always are. Nobody ever speaks to you (you with your red walls and wrists) anymore except to tell you to get out of the way or to tell you how much you've disappointed them (againagainagain).

But it's all pointless, you know how stupid and ugly and weak you are, you know that you can't get anything right and you know that you're lazy and you know already that yes, you shouldn't have been born but people don't listen to those thoughts and tell you again and again that you're lazy and stupid and worthless.

And he does it too, him who you thought would love you forever, the one who might just be the only person in the world who might just need you back.

He does it too. Not verbally, or physically, but you can see it in the way (or at least you think you see it in the way) that he looks at you in the morning or day or night and when you're fucking you can nearly feel (or at least you think you can feel) his disgust later.

And it's writing and red all over your wrists and you realize that you have quite a knack for morbidness (namida no ame shi ten hana wa sakura desu DIE mizu ten ho ten flowers bloom and corpses fall …but that's just the way life is life goes on the world will turn the world will turn sekai de kimi to deatte kara crosses & petticoats crimson petals). You laugh and brush it off as another one of your little quirks, but really, it's just another version of slitting your wrists.

But really, this life isn't good for you (at least you think it isn't good for you) but you stick with it anyways, it's too late to change (it's always too late to change, you're alwaysalwaysalways too late) and once again in life you find yourself on a one-way road to hell. (and he's not really helping, either, him who just might've been the only person in the world who might've needed you back)

I'll go with you, Axel.


first of all, before anyone planning on reviewing starts...uhm, criticizing, I'd like to state that I don't really care what anyone thinks on this one, unlike the others. this fic fucking saved my life. so deal with it.

the stuff in the second last paragraph actually is on my wrist. xD in black and red, no less. I have 'flowers bloom and corpses fall SHI TEN' on a photo I'm developing. xD (SHI TEN in chinese kanji, of course.)

yeah. I planned this as axiku but really, you can subsitute axel for any other guy.

riku centric for the win.

-namikun