"A Christmas Story Gone Wrong"
Rated T
Disclaimer: I don't know why, but I do not own anything associated with Total Drama and its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this fic is for the Secret Santa challenge that was created by I'll Cover Angel And Collins, and this gift is for ProfessorSmooth, who asked for a Duncan/Courtney/Scott/Dawn one-shot. Some of the characters may be a little OOC, but I promise you that you'll like it.
P.S.: Both Scott and Dawn hadn't competed in Total Drama, just to let you know.
An entire sheet of snow was laid all around the local Mall of Muskoka. The place was large enough to be a football stadium itself. It had everything your usual mall would ever ask for. A food court, four places of sports apparel, two shoe stores, a lingerie store, seven restaurants, and even one big hospital to boot. Not even the Mall of America could offer anything so awesome as this.
For Courtney however, she ready to get her Christmas shopping done for her husband Scott and her daughter Dawn. It had been a while after Total Drama Island had ended, which was about 16 years to the future. So far, everyone would have assumed that she would've married Duncan, whom Courtney had a major crush on back at the island. It became a love-hate relationship between the two, and so far, Duncan ended up being with Gwen instead. That tore Courtney's heart out like a bullet.
But luckily, she managed to rebound from her broken relationship, and instead, dated a fellow by the name of Scott. Scott was bit of a farm boy, in which Courtney didn't mind since she needed a little break in the spot light. After all, a nice change of scenery from city to country would be more peaceful. But yet, Courtney still wanted to follow her dreams of being a lawyer. So thankfully, the city of Thunder Bay (which Scott resided in) managed to make Courtney the city's local attorney right after she finished law education at their local college.
Right about that time, the two settled in with the birth of their brand new daughter, Dawn. Throughout the eight years that they've raised her, Dawn had grew up to be quite a nature lover. She had a lot of plants around her room alongside baby birds that she could communicate with. But suddenly, she started becoming a bit of a loner. That's why her father Scott decided to give her some of Courtney's old dolls to play with. Truth be told, it was actually very fun for Dawn. And even on Scott's day offs, he would spend some time with her by having tea parties and playing dollhouse.
But weeks after Christmas, Dawn heard that Santa Claus was coming by to greet shoppers at the Mall of Muskoka. Pleading with her father and mother definitely worked wonders as her mother and father traveled a good mile to the city just so that Dawn could see him. After all, it was Courtney's day off so a ride to the mall wouldn't hurt.
As soon as they got there, they were stunned to see that the entire mall was packed.
"Wow, this place sure is loud." Scott replied.
"Of course," Courtney nodded. "They're all here with their kids to see Santa."
"Just exactly how long is this gonna take?" Scott sighed, "I'm starving and hungry as a dead cow covered in roadkill."
"Now don't pout," Courtney smirked at her husband. "It won't be but a while. You'll live, you big baby."
As much as Courtney wanted to tease Scott so bad, they were cut off by an ovation. It was the ovation indicated that Santa had came out to a bunch of wonderful kids. Dawn on the other hand, was psyched to see him.
"Mom, Dad, look!" Dawn said, tugging on Courtney's sleeve. "It's Santa Claus! Let's go see him."
"Um, h-honey, let's not rush right now." Courtney replied. "There are other kids here to see him too. Right, honey?"
Suddenly, Scott didn't reply. Courtney was waiting for an answer from him, but she couldn't get one.
"Honey, are you even there?" Courtney replied as she turned her shoulder to her husband...
...
...
...who was busy looking at lingerie through a woman's department store.
"Breasts..." Scott replied in a zombified way, "Must have them."
"Honey, not in front of our kid!" Courtney replied, grabbing his husband's hand as they followed Dawn.
The little girl could not retain her excitement any longer. She wanted to go see the only person that matter to her: Santa Claus.
"Ho ho ho!" Santa shouted. "Merry Christmas! I hope all of you have been good this year! I've been watching you when you're sleeping, I know when you were awake, so do the rest of you make it on Santa's nice list this year?"
"Yes!" Shouted the kids.
"Well, we're definitely gonna find out are we?" Santa laughed. "Now every one of you kids get in a line now, so I can see who'll be willing to sit on Santa's lap!"
Just like that, the kids, especially Dawn all raced over to Santa to see who would get the chance to sit in jolly St. Nick's lap. It was so rowdy that Santa's little helpers were trying to bring calm to this situation. And after only a few minutes of rioting, the kids finally got into a line.
And as luck would have it, Dawn managed to make it first in line without any problems.
"Okay, who's first up?" Santa said as he sat in his chair.
"Me! Me, Santa!" Dawn said with her hand waving.
"All right, come up on Santa's lap!" He chuckled.
Without any help from the assistants, Dawn managed to jump up on Santa's lap. While she was on his lap, Santa looked at her with a smiling grin on his face.
"So, what's your name little girl?" Santa raised his eyebrow.
"My name is Dawn!" She replied, "I came here with my mommy and daddy!"
Santa then glared at both Courtney and Scott, who were both waving at their daughter and himself.
"Eh, your mother's quite the looker." Santa nodded, "I can see why your daddy's a lucky man! Anyway, what would you like for Christmas, sweetheart?"
After quick thinking, Dawn knew exactly what they wanted.
"I know!" Dawn exclaimed, "I want a Courtney action figure for Christmas with kung-fu grip and voice acting! It's the hottest toy out there, and I would be so psyched to have it for Christmas if you want. I've been wanting to play with an action figure of my own mommy for quite some time, and I would be happy if you got it for me."
"Huh," Santa nodded, "Interesting. Say, is this the same Courtney who's nothing more than a whiny little horsey with a big butt, medium brown hair, big bug eyes and the ability to whine and nag a lot?"
"Yes!" Dawn nodded as well, "How did you know my mommy?"
"Well, little girl..." Santa said as he tightened his beard for a second. "Let's just say that me and your mother are close..."
And then suddenly, in front of Dawn, Courtney and Scott...
...
...
...Santa took off his white beard, revealing to be Courtney's ex-boyfriend, Duncan!
"Very close as a matter of fact!" Duncan smirked.
"DUNCAN?!" Courtney and Scott shrieked.
"Aaaaaah!" Dawn screamed, "Mommy, there's a bad man in a Santa suit!"
"Come straight to me, honey!" Courtney shouted to her daughter, who started running towards her mother.
But Duncan, on the other hand, had plans.
"Oh, I'll have to disagree, princess!" Duncan smirked as he brought out a bazooka!
Aiming at her daughter, Duncan pulled the trigger and out came a fishing net, therefore trapping Dawn inside the tight net.
"A-ha!" Duncan exclaimed, "Got one! Any of you little poopy bastards want some?"
Hearing this little threat, the rest of their kids started running for the mall door, hoping to get away from this homicidal Santa. But one by one, Duncan started shooting nets all over the children, trapping them without nowhere to escape.
However, Courtney was trying to get her daughter out of the net that she was trapped in.
"Mommy, I can't breathe!" Dawn exclaimed.
"Don't worry, me and daddy are gonna get you out!" Courtney nodded, "Scott, come help me out! Honey?"
Yet, there was no response from Scott. When Courtney turned to her shoulder, she saw her husband Scott place his entire body in the Victoria's Secret window, staring at the bras and lingerie like a total perv.
"Breasts and butt-covered thongs, I must have them..." Scott replied, still feeling zombified.
"DAMN IT, SCOTT!" Courtney snapped at him, "Please quit looking at boobies and come help me get our daughter out!"
However, the sound of help came too late as Duncan picked Courtney back up and grabbed her by the waist. As Courtney tried to get out of his clutches, Duncan shot her a dirty look.
"You're definitely the one Santa wants for Christmas!" Duncan said with sick tendency. "You'd be perfect as my reindeer!"
"No, this can't be happening!" Courtney shook her head.
"I'm afraid it is, Mrs. Claus." Duncan smirked, "Now come over and take a good lick at Santa's candy cane..."
Just to creep Courtney out, Duncan sent his zipper down just to arouse her. But Courtney tried to resist his pants region.
"No no... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Courtney shook her head.
But before Courtney could even come down on him with force...
...
...
...
...
"DUNCAN!" Someone shouted.
Just like that, the scene changed from a winter wonderland themed mall, to a Playa De Losers setting as Courtney held up a script in front of Duncan's face. Duncan on the other hand, sat on a beach chair with a cup of lemonade in hand.
"How dare you write this godawful story about me!" Courtney shouted, "There's nothing jolly and celebrating about me being Santa's slave!"
"C'mon, I figured they make it more interesting." Duncan smirked, "There's too much joy, love and peace in Christmas stories nowadays. Can't be too afraid to steam things up in a more dominating way!"
"Well, this is by far, the least jolly and least excruciating fic I've ever read!" Courtney yelled, "And worst of all, you made me have a husband who looks at nothing but breasts and butts all day? That ain't joyful, it's immoral!"
"Hey, sex sells all the time!" Duncan nodded. "But not all of it is bad, princess! At least I gave you a happy-go-lucky daughter! At least she doesn't end up like her mother! How about that?"
"Well, if you like this sex so damn much, then keep it to yourself!" Courtney said, throwing the script in Duncan's face. "But you better not even print this out to every child who gives out the worst Christmas message ever! Christmas should be about joy, love and peace all through the world, not bondage, sex and boobies through a shopping mall!"
And then, Courtney walked away from him.
"It's not my fault everyone likes my Christmas smut more than you do..." Duncan muttered under his breath.
"I'M TELLING YOU, DUNCAN!" Courtney shouted inside the resort, "DO NOT PUBLISH THAT! I BETTER NOT HEAR THAT STAPLE GUN CLICK!"
"I'M NOT, BABE!" Duncan shouted back.
After looking around for Courtney with both shoulders, Duncan let in a smirk as he brought out his staple gun.
"Huh, I'm so gonna post this..." He smirked.
But as soon as he pressed that staple gun around those sheets of paper...
*THWACK!*
Courtney tackled Duncan to the ground like a linebacker. Courtney had warned his unfaithful boyfriend not to publish that to the entire world. Looks like Duncan should've taken those words to use.
Permanently.
Well, this was very interesting. Sorry if I was struggling here, but I was busy going back and forth with my Monster High fic that I was clearly stumped on what to write for this story. Hopefully, it wasn't that bad. However, I can't hardly imagine Duncan as a story writer, although it would be funny of the stories he'd turn out. ;D
Anyway, I hope you liked it, ProfessorSmooth. Anyway, feedbacks are welcome! ;D
