"Emma, it will be fine. Your parents love you and no matter what I will always be here for you," my girlfriend tells me as she reassuringly squeezes my hand, "it's okay if you're having second thoughts about it."
"No. No, this is it. I'm going to tell my parents that I am dating... a girl."
"Woman," Regina corrects me with a wink clearly trying to make me feel less nervous.
"Yeah... Alright, this is it. Here we go..." I say smiling nervously at my girlfriend. I look at the doorbell and I want to press it. I look at it, I tell my hands to move but they just won't. Probably sensing that I wouldn't make a move for a while, Regina reaches for the doorbell herself and presses it. As soon as I hear the doorbell ring through the house I know I cannot do this. I can't come out to my parents, not today. I look into my girlfriend's eyes hoping that she will understand what I am feeling, I am not ready, but the answer I get from her side is, It's going to be okay, I am here and I love you.
I am about to turn around and walk back to the car, ready to pull Regina along with me when the door opens, no. As soon as my eyes meet my mother's I drop Regina's hand.
"Emma! Sweetie, what are you doing here? Come in! I wasn't expecting you. Oh, you have a friend with you! I'm Mary Margaret, and you are?" my mother asks ever so cheerfully. Please, Regina, I am not ready.
"Hello, my name is Regina Mills. I am your daughter's-"
"Sister-in-law!" I say cutting Regina off. At this moment I refuse to look at either Regina or my mother. I know if I look at Regina I am going to see either sadness or disappointment, maybe both. Probably both.
"What? Emma, you never told me you were dating?" I hear my mother say somewhat teasingly.
"I... I am dating Regina's brother, Killian," I finally look at Regina to see that she is in fact, sad and disappointed but mostly she is hurt, I am so sorry.
"Your parents want to meet me?" Killian asks leaning against the counter. After the meeting with my mother, we went back to Regina's place. She didn't speak to me during the whole drive and when we got to her house she kept brushing me off and answering me only with short words and nodding her head. I didn't blame her, I still don't, I can't. The next day we met with Killian and explained the whole ordeal to him, he even joked saying that I would come to my senses and go to the right sibling. When he realised that Regina wasn't finding the situation funny at all he became more serious and said that he would gladly be my beard, as he eagerly decided to put it.
"I know I said it was only going to be for awhile but I don't know what to do," I confess to Killian while Regina rolled her eyes.
"I don't know, why don't you just tell them that it's me you've been dating all along?"
"Baby, I want to. You know I do, but I am not ready," I try to grab her hand but she pulls away from me.
"Will you ever be? If you keep things going like this you two will be married before it happens," Regina huffs and walks away. I look at Killian and he smiles at me confirming that he will be coming to dinner with my parents and then I rush out of the kitchen to catch my girlfriend.
"Regina!"
"What? Don't you have somewhere to be with your boyfriend?" Regina spat out the words as she makes her way out of the house. I catch up with her grab her arm pulling her body flushed against mine, "let go of me, Emma. I really don't feel like being around you right now."
"Regina, I know you are upset. You have every right to be upset, I swear I will make it right. Tonight. Come to dinner with us, I'll tell my parents tonight okay?" I tell her wiping away a tear that had escaped her lover's eye. She rests her forehead against mine and nods her head, "I love you, baby girl..." I swear to her and she nods again. Tonight.
I was sitting with Regina on my right and Killian on my left with my parents facing us. All through dinner, there was an awkward tension, mostly from me. My parents were delighted with Killian and I know Regina was not liking it one bit. This is it, I am going to tell them the truth.
"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you," I confidently announce grabbing Regina's hand under table letting her know that this is it, no more lying, no more hiding.
"Wait for a second, Emma," my father tells me before turning his attention back to Killian, "You have no idea how happy to know that my daughter is with someone like you-"
"Dad, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," I try to get his attention but it's pointless.
"You're a handsome young man and for what you told us tonight I can see that you have goals in life. I remember when I met Emma's mother," he says smiling fondly at the memory, "I knew she was it for me. It didn't take long before we were engaged and soon after we got married Mary Margaret was already pregnant with our Emma here," he laughs while reaching into the pocket of his jacket," some and my wife talked and decided that is time for us to pass my family's ring for the next generation," no, no, no, this cannot be happening. Anything but this. I see my dad giving the engagement ring to Killian as Regina drops my hand and excuses herself to go to the bathroom, "I hope that when you feel like the time is right you'll use it to propose to Emma," Alright, so what? There's an engagement ring, but we're not getting engaged, so everything is there's nothing to worry about.
"Actually sir," Killian starts. Okay, he is going to put an end to this, everything is fine, "I don't think there will be a better time than this," he says as he kneels before me smiling. No, Killian what are you doing?
I just wish I could lay in bed all day, this was only meant to be a way to avoid coming out to my parents and now it has come way to far. I know Regina is reaching her breaking point, I just don't know how to stop all of this.
"What did you want me to say? Didn't you see how excited my parents were? I couldn't hurt them," I tell the brunette who is holding me in her arms.
"But you could hurt me... Clearly, you've made a list of your priorities and I am not one of them, Emma."
"No, don't say that. You are my number one priority, Regina," I say as I gently press a kiss against her naked chest.
"You're getting married tomorrow Emma! To my brother! Do you know how painful that is? How painful it was to see my brother introduce you to my parents? God, I helped with planning your wedding! You're getting married to someone other than me and you're here in bed, naked, with me! That basically makes me your side chick. The woman you're cheating on your fiancee with."
"Baby, that is not true. Not with us, it's different. I don't know how to stop all of this."
"I can't do this. You've been trying to figure out how to stop this since the start and nothing has happened yet," Regina tells me as she gets out of the bed and starts to get dressed.
"Where are you going?" I ask sitting up on the bed.
"I'm not doing this, I can't."
"Are... Are you breaking up with me?" I question tearfully. Regina refuses to meet my gaze as she stops by the door.
"All I want in this world is for you to be happy. I know you won't be happy if you marry my brother tomorrow. Neither of us will, not me, not you, not Killian. We both know he is just doing this because he has always had a crush on you and he is taking his chance. I tried, Emma. I tried to put up with this because I love you. You're it for me, but clearly... clearly I am not it for you because if I was, nothing else would matter. If I was, it would be me you would be marrying tomorrow," she finishes and walks out of the room.
Regina didn't appear to help me get ready for the wedding as it was planned. I wasn't expecting her to. I lost her. I was too scared and lost her. And now here I am, arm intertwined with my father's ready to walk down the aisle to marry someone I do not love. I walk down the aisle with my head down, too ashamed to look anyone in the eyes. When we reached Killian, my dad kisses my cheek before sitting next to my mother. I'm facing Killian when the priest starts the ceremony, I finally look up, however, the first thing I notice is not Killian but his sister who is standing behind him.
All of the sudden all the sounds are gone, the only thing my brain is able to process is how breathtaking Regina is. Even though she refuses to meet my meet my gaze, I know she is feeling exactly what I am, this is wrong. And it's all my fault, I should have just told my parents the first time that Regina is- was, my girlfriend.
"Emma!" someone shouts bringing me back to reality.
"Yeah?"
"Do you take Killian as your husband?" the priest repeats the question that I apparently lost. So the 'whole speak now or forever hold your peace' has been already. And no one said anything... Regina didn't say anything. This can't be it.
"Emma?" Killian asks and I shook my head.
"We can't... I can't. I am so sorry Killian, this has gone way too far," I faintly tell him and I know that only him, the priest and Regina heard. As soon as I say this Regina finally looks at me making me smile softly at her. I walk past Killian towards Regina who is looking at me with wide eyes. I grab her face with both of my hands and pull it towards mine crashing our lips together making everyone, including Regina, gasp. When the initial shock passes, Regina's hands find my face and she kisses me back.
I pull away and rest my forehead against hers, "marry me."
"What? Emma, what are you doing?"
"What I should have done that first day when we went to my parents' house. I love you, you're it for me and I should not have been afraid to tell people that. You are not just some woman I'm in love with... You are my person," I tell her bumping our noses together.
"I love you too, of course, I'll marry you."
"I mean today. Now," I tell her when I realise she had not understood, "if you want we can just sign the papers and have a party later on. But I am done being scared. I want you to be my wife."
Regina and I make our way into her bed, only in our underwear, where I straddle her. I look down at her and I notice that this was one of the several lingerie's she had worn during our times together, "were you planning on meeting someone after the wedding?"
"I... we were not together..." she starts and I notice she isn't sure of what she should say.
"Hey, it's okay. We were not together and that is my fault, you had the right to do whatever you wanted," I tell her reassuringly.
"I thought I was watching the love of my life getting married to someone else today. Honestly? I was ready to get under someone to get over you," she admits and I lean down pecking her lips.
"And now?"
"Now, I am ready to make love to my wife," she says sitting up and bringing out lips together once more.
