A/N: This was a request fro Koujackoo from tumblr to mix the Ore Monogatari episode where Takeo and Yamato get lost in the forest and the running joke where Egoist was lost in the forest through the whole season. I tried deviating from the actual episode so no one thinks I copied the whole concept.

Thank you all for reading and tell me what you think!

-Lucicelo


Wandering through the forest (Oneshot)

Hiroki laid on a blanket which he took from his large backpack. He used his sweater as a makeshift pillow to support his head. A marring frown etched on his face. He tried not to grumble his displeasure on their situation. Staring through the gaps in between the trees, he tried hard to relax. He listened in one the chirping birds and breathed in deep. His arms were crossed over his chest and drummed his fingers on his forearm. Impatience filled his body as he waited for Nowaki to come back from his inspection of their surrounding area.

They spent most of the morning navigating through the forest. A small trip they planned just to get away from the city. Nowaki brought up sharing vacation time during one of their dinners. Hiroki agreed without much persuasion. He thought on asking Nowaki before he even brought it up. After all, their long hours apart made quality time a cherished occasion. Nowaki wrote up locations on pieces of paper and put them in a hat. This way, they didn't waste time arguing over their vacation spot.

Hiroki didn't know why Nowaki wrote a picnic up in the mountains on one of the slips. A ridiculous vacation spot. Considering, both of them frequented no forest areas. Too bad for them since Nowaki picked it out of the hat. They had to comply and packed everything up. Two backpacks full of supplies and food. Enough for lunch and an early dinner. They packed water and iced tea as well.

He heard rustling to his left. Sitting up, he watched Nowaki walking through the bushes. Leaves tangled in his hair as he kept his cellphone above his head. His other hand held a crumpled up map they used for their navigation. Hiroki sighed. It seemed Nowaki had no luck finding a way for them to leave the forest.

Hiroki asked with a sigh. "You had no luck finding any roads did you?" Nowaki shook his head with a frown. "Shit. So that map was useless after all. I should've known better than to trust Miyagi to give me directions to some amazing spot."

Nowaki slumped beside Hiroki and then put his phone away. "I tried walking a far distance but all I saw was trees and bushes" He extended the map and pointed at a spot. "We were supposed to have hit this lake a while ago. I don't know what we did wrong. Maybe, we took a wrong left or right because I have no clue where we are exactly. I attempted to use my cellphone but I have no reception."

Hiroki checked his phone with a scowl. "Mine has no signal either. Looks like we are stuck here."

"Not necessarily," Nowaki said. "Maybe with some luck we can find the trail and go back.

"We might get stuck here during the night if we don't start searching soon. I'm not looking forward to sleeping outside." Hiroki unzipped his backpack and handed Nowaki a water bottle. "Should we try to retrace our steps now?"

"I think it's better that we eat some food before trying that option." Nowaki's stomach growled and he laughed in amusement. "We didn't eat breakfast because we woke up late."

Hiroki took out the top layer of one of their lunchboxes and some chopsticks. "Good thing you brought that up. I was almost going to eat one of these while you were on your little search thing. But, since you did the work to try to find us a way out, you eat first."

"Thank you." Nowaki smiled as Hiroki handed him the lunchbox. "I was thinking about eating two layers but I think this one will be filling enough for me. Want to share?"

"Why not."

Nowaki scooted closer to him and held the lunchbox between the both of them. "You really made the side dishes really delicious. Did you switch the seasonings on me?"

"T-Thanks." Hiroki munched on a rice ball. "At this point, I can't possibly suck at making a simple lunch. Anyway, I think we should eat half of the lunchboxes. We need the energy to keep up all the walking we will be doing. Can I get some of that water?" Nowaki handed it to Hiroki. "Thanks."


Nowaki rubbed his forehead with a groan. He tried not to let this whole situation disillusion him. After three hours, they still had not found any signs or roads. From the broken branch which hovered over them, they went in a complete circle. Looking down at Hiroki, he caught his impatient expression. He knew Hiroki was close on exploding due to not finding anything. To take control of the situation, he didn't let his displeasure show on his face or in his voice.

Panicking did nothing to help their situation.

"I can't believe this." He looked at the map again and worried his lower lip. "We might as well keep going straight at this point. There is bound to be something we will bump into. There are people who hike this area pretty often."

Hiroki kicked the rocks with enough force that they bounced off a tree. "This is bullshit! Where the fuck are we?! Augh!" He gripped the straps of his backpack as he glanced up at Nowaki. "I want to burn that fucking map!"

Nowaki placed a hand on Hiroki's shoulder and applied pressure. "It will be alright. There has to be some cabin or someone walking through these mountains somewhere." The map slipped from his fingers onto the ground and Hiroki wasted no time before he stomped on it. Leaving the map dirtied and ripped up in certain areas. "You really didn't have to do that."

"Well, I'm pissed! It's a useless map. Our cellphones are not working at all. I want to go home and not think about mountains ever again." Hiroki exclaimed as he breathed in deep. He rubbed his face with a frown. "I know I'm overreacting but this whole thing is aggravating me."

Nowaki curled his arm around Hiroki's waist and pulled him close. "I understand, Hiro-san. I want to be out of here as much as you do." He glanced at the ruined map and huffed. "Now, I sort of want to stomp on the map too."

Hiroki smirked. "Go right ahead, let some steam out. You can't possibly be so calm about this."

"It's not that serious that I want to ruin the map even more." Nowaki chuckled. "It was just a thought."

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders as he turned his head, he saw the setting sun. "Looks like we don't have anymore light until the morning. Unless, you want to use the flashlight and keep walking through the night."

"I don't think so." Nowaki took off his backpack and placed it on the ground. "We might as well set camp here, Walking around at night might bite us back if we get any more lost. If anything happens, I will protect you." He finished with a charming smile.

Hiroki arched a brow as he explained. "I have studied martial arts and kendo since I was a child. I might be rusty but I still remember everything to help us. I can defend us if anything happens."

"But when you sleep, nothing ever wakes you up." Nowaki pointed out in a teasing tone. "I should know, you sleep through all of your alarms."

"Doesn't matter." Hiroki insisted. "Just because you are tall doesn't mean you are naturally stronger than me."

Nowaki squeezed Hiroki's hip when he suggested. "Alright then, we'll take turns overlooking our little camp. Since we have our flashlight and the full moon, we have more than enough light to make everything clear. I can go first, then, I wake you up and you take over. Sound good?"

Hiroki scoffed. "If I'm so bad at waking up, how am I going to take over after you? I should go first."

Nowaki stifled a laugh. "Alright, you got me there. You can go first."

Hiroki poked Nowaki's chest. "Are you laughing at me Kusama?"

Nowaki shook his head as he snorted. "No, no, I'm not laughing." He corrected Hiroki in a matter of fact grin. "Remember Hiro-san, I'm Kamijou now, not Kusama."

Hiroki's face warmed as he snapped. "Not until June of next year. For now, you are still Kusama to me." He walked out of Nowaki's embrace and informed him. "I'm going to take a leak, I'll be right back."

"Alright!" Nowaki exclaimed after Hiroki as he went behind a tree.

He took out the blanket from his backpack and set it out on a soft patch of grass. A little bit away from the tree trunks. Smoothing it all out before he sat in the middle. He rolled up his sweater as a pillow and placed it on one end. Afterwards, removed the rest of their lunchboxes and their tepid tea from the thermostat. He unscrewed the thermostat and served himself a cup. He sipped while peeking at the area Hiroki walked toward.

Hiroki reappeared minutes later from his hidden location. He appeared irritated and more than ready to go to sleep. Nowaki assumed he might sleep the moment he placed his head on their blanket. Although, Hiroki would object if he commented on it. Hiroki's hands were in front of him as he checked around their little campsite.

This went on for a few moments before Nowaki spoke up. "Are you looking for something?"

"I need hand sanitizer." Hiroki answered, moving his hands to emphasize his point. "You don't happen to have carried any with you right?"

Nowaki placed the tea at a safe place on the blanket before he checked his backpack. He found it on the smaller bag in the front. Hiroki got closer to him and squirted some into his palms. Rubbing his hands together, Hiroki sat next to him as he let out a sigh.

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

Nowaki handed him a layer of their large lunchbox and they started eating. They ate in silence as they observed their area. Keeping an extra eye on areas which made any sort of noise or rustled the bushes. Bringing up their guard while sipping tea and a bite of food. When they finished their food, nothing made any significant noise. Just the random scattered crickets making their sounds.

Sighing in relief, Nowaki packed up all the empty containers inside of a plastic bag. Making sure to zip up everything before moving his backpack toward the other end of their blanket. Hiroki placed his own backpack right next to his own as he laid on his back. He laid on his side as Hiroki joined him after taking out his flashlight. Wrapping an around around Hiroki's waist, he pulled him close.

Hiroki snuggled close to Nowaki and felt him tighten his grip around him. "Go right to sleep and don't worry about a thing." Nowaki's natural warm body made him feel less cold. "I'll stay wide awake."

Nowaki smiled as he closed his eyes. "Sure. Wake me up in a few hours for my turn. Don't forget."

Hiroki nodded his head. "You got it."

Hiroki attempted on staying awake as he observed their surroundings. Lifting his head, he checked on Nowaki who fell asleep almost immediately. He already felt the drowsiness hitting him as he relished in the warmness coming from Nowaki. He turned around and clenched his flashlight in his hands. His thumb hovering over the clicker as he tried hard not to turn it on.

Nowaki's arm tightened around him. Hiroki peeked over his shoulder, thinking Nowaki woke up due to his movements. Nowaki stayed asleep, his eyes were closed. He turned his sights away from him and kept observing their surroundings. His eyes grew heavier with each passing minute. He rubbed his eyes and blinked fast in an attempt to stay awake. Trying every trick in the book whenever he dozed off.

Convincing himself he'd wake up, he closed his eyes.


In the morning, Nowaki teased Hiroki the moment they woke up.

Hiroki let Nowaki have some fun with his commentary. After all, he assured him on staying awake and then switching hours later for his own sleep. He failed on adding in his exhaustion from their long walk searching for a lake they never bumped into. No wonder he fell asleep when he closed his eyes. He woke up with a stiff neck which he kept on massaging on their way through the forest.

The moment they stepped out of the forest onto solid road. Hiroki almost danced but held himself back. Relief washed over the both of them as they checked each direction. No cars or pedestrians came around. It didn't damper their spirits. At least, they were out of the forest in one piece.

Nowaki spotted a bus sign and pulled Hiroki along. "Look, a bus sign! Let's hope a bus is coming soon."

"That bus better come quick. I want to take a shower and sleep when we make it home." Hiroki grumbled as he struggled to keep up with Nowaki's long strides. "Slow down, you know for a fact I'm not so fast."

"Sorry." Nowaki sheepishly said.

They stopped right beside the stop sign. Nowaki read through the bus schedule on the sign. Taking out his phone to check on the time. All ready to calculate the time when the bus arrived to their spot. Meanwhile, Hiroki sat down on the ground and covered his face with his hands.

"How long do we have to wait?" Hiroki said, his voice muffled from behind his hands.

Nowaki caught the nearest time when he answered. "Ten minutes give or take. Since there is no traffic, the bus might get here faster."

"Great." Hiroki lifted his head up as he drawled.

Nowaki grinned. "Look on the bright side, at least we are out of that forest."

Hiroki turned to Nowaki and stated. "We are never going to picnic in the mountains ever again."

THE END.