In a withering dream.
As time slowly disappears we all think about what we have missed and what we missed.
Some may think that we missed the one person we loved the most,
some may think about how they haven't lived the life they wanted,
or how the breeze is nothing but a reminder of what was once real.
As time comes to an end there is nothing but a simple thought of being with the one they watched die, and loved with all their beating heart.
Remembering what was once there and being with them once again.
Recalling the lush and love in each touch as your time comes to an end or a new time is beginning.
Just remembering that one person... is enough to make you feel sorrow for what was once a dream.
As the night was cold and the stars glimmered bright in the sky, my bright eyes snapped open and looked out the wooden window. The sight of the bright moon was fresh in my orbs as I creaked out of bed and pulled my tattered robs on my exposed shoulders. I sniffed away the tears in my eyes as I looked over to the other side of the bed which laid empty.
My soft hand ran over the sheets which were cold and lonely, from the dying sensation in my heart for the rightful owner to come back and lay next to me once again. The pillow laid untouched like it had for many months now and many years to come. I never dared to take up the bed because, there was a hope that the person would come back and be there to warm the cold sheets and wrinkle the pillow once again.
Many people mocked me for my doubt and thought it was time for me to move on, but how could I move on when there was no one to replace my only love. I couldn't move on from them and what I felt for that person. It still haunted me now in my sleep a year after their death.
I looked at my side of the bed and held my breath at the tattered sheets and wrinkled pillow. Why must it be me to see the difference? Why couldn't it be him? I just wanted to switch positions and be the one in the ground. I wanted him with me.
As a tear danced down my soft cheek I walked away from the bed causing the my feet to stick to the wooden floor of the room. My orbs wondered the room as I walked away from the lonely bed that wasn't the same anymore to me.
On the walls there were photo's of him and I; those photo's were nothing but a painful but pleasant memory to me now. Just to have the opportunity to see his smile and his bright eyes was enough for me; it was almost like... he never died to begin with. Each picture reminded me of what wouldn't have been and what I could have stopped if I went and not him.
I closed my eyes as my hands touched the cold and dusty wood of the closet; which hadn't been open in a year. My frail hand eroded the dust and pushed the closet open, only to have the moon light seek into the darkness and light the closet filled with clothing. My vision became clouded as I walked into the closet and looked at all the robes that hung.
I walked over with grace that he proclaimed I held, even though my murderous practice said different; and grabbed one of the robs with tears trickling down my cheeks. The soft cotton of the black and white robe was comforting to my sorrowed filled heart; almost like a pillow that comforted a falling glass piece and kept the piece from shattering into tiny pieces.
I buried my nose into the fabric and closed my eyes tightly as the aroma of my love swirled in my nose and brought back dead memories. The sweet smell of his husky skin, spicy personality, salty sweat from battles and the lingering pride in each stitch of the robe lingered still; like it had when he was breathing and wore them.
In the darkness of my eyes, I saw him with his bright smile and glorious eyes that he had for that day.
" Come on, it only going to take maybe a minute!" a voice said with confidence. Her lips were silent at the mans words. She looked at the man with his Captain's robe and bright eyes trying to say no, but he was too happy and excited for the fight and kill.
Her eyes wandered his body with his perfect skin and wondrous features all in his black robe. Upon his shoulders was his Captain's robe which fluttered with pride in the breeze. " Do you really have to?" her voice dripped with worry for him. She had a feeling that something was going to go wrong and she wanted to keep her husband, not lose him.
He smiled softly at his wife and kissed her hair tenderly before kissing her lips; causing her to wrap around him softly. As he pulled away he looking into her eyes and whispered " I'll be back", before disappearing into the wind like a ghost.
My tears stained the cotton as I thought of my last moment with him and his beating heart. Our last kiss and last words. " Y-You n-never c-came back", I sobbed into the robe as I dropped to my frail knee's. My breath became labored as I clutched the robes to my face and tried to imagine him there with me. But that was never going to happen.
I knew that day that, I should have stopped him and told him to stay and let someone else get the call; but no he wanted to go. Once I got the news all I thought about was the what if's and the I could have. By now, I knew that they weren't going to get him back in my arms and kissing me with passion. I needed to stop living in my imagination.
I stood from the floor and looked at the hook in the far corner where a Captain's cloak hung with pride. I walked over slowly with the black robes and gripped the white cloak in my hands. The rough texture reminded me of the power and passion he held in his life.
I slowly slide the cloak on just as he would when we were walking around the division. I could remember him saying " Some day, you and I will be Captain's together in Soul Society. Then our children will and throughout time our blood will be the Gotei 13 and both of us, shall sit in Squad one", he had so many dreams for us and there were so many hopes.
I wanted kids more than I knew when; it was just a matter of trying and carrying the baby. Perhaps, if I were pregnant a year ago he would have stayed and would be here now. Through the year the only thing that I did was think about, were the things that would have stopped him from going and kept him alive.
Shutting my eyes was something that made it seem like he was there and not gone; it was the peaceful place in my world now. In my head he would be next to me in bed, walking with me through the division, getting ready in the morning and holding me when I cry. But, when my eyes opened reality rushed at me and the knowing that he wasn't there flooded my mind; slowly letting reality destroy my aching heart.
" I miss you", I whispered as a strong breeze filled the room causing the cloak to flutter. I wrapped my arms around myself and squeezed myself tightly trying to think that the breeze was him, reminding me that he was there watching me wear his robes and smelling his scent; like I did when he was away on missions or away for a long time. I wish he was just away on a mission.
A gasp left my lips when a hand covered my shoulder and I snapped my eyes open at the touch. I looked over with my teary eyes and hoped it was my husband, but I was wrong. " M-Momo", I sniffed at the sight of the women. Her big brown eyes filled with tears at the sight of mine. Momo was the only one who knew my pain as much as I did. My husband was someone who helped her and was a great friend, but in the end they were close and supported each other in any way possible.
" W-What are you doing in here at such a time?", she asked me with a shaky voice. I wiped my tears away softly and looked around the closet with all his clothing. His Captain cloaks, black and white robes, sandals and his regular clothing; it was just as he left it that morning and I wasn't going to change it or I didn't want to change it. " ... Why are you holding his robes?" she questioned.
I bowed my head in shame and clutched the clothing tightly in my hands. "...Momo.." my voice had nothing but utter sorrow in it, for the thought of Soul Society wanting me to move on, and take his division for my own. " I-I...can't take his cloak. I can't take all my husbands hard-work and effort away-"
" He would want you to", she interrupted me. I was silent at her words. He would want me to take his title and live on his dreams for me and him. The dreams of having our blood in Squad One and being the Head Captain of Soul Society; but it wasn't the same without him. I wanted to do this all with him. I didn't want to get remarried to someone who wasn't him and I didn't want to have children with anyone but him.
I looked at her quickly and felt the tears trickle down my cheeks. " I-It's not complete without him in his cloak, in his division. It's not mine to ta-" I tried but she didn't want to hear it and stopped me.
" Don't even think about that-" she tried.
" Think about, what Momo? The fact my other half murdered by a Quincy! I wake up every night thinking about how, I could have stopped him from getting killed and fighting that Quincy. I want my husband back, there is no one who can give me him back!" I snapped. She was silent at my words and the light in her eyes went dull at my words. " I-I just want him back", I whispered as I cried into the Captain's cloak.
She looked at me softly and then to the cloak with the Divisions number upon the white material. " I shouldn't have been so-"
" Don't Momo..." I told her before walking out of the closet and into the moon light. My eyes shot to the bed and stared at the lonely side. " I'm going for a walk. Don't stay up or worry, I shall not be back" I told her before walking out of the closet and passed the side of the bed where my husband would sleep. I sighed and looked at the wedding picture on the dresser next to his lamp; we both looked so embarrassed and happy in the photo, and we were on that day.
I and my husband weren't ones for showing our feelings but when it came to our wedding, our feelings just seemed like they were the only thing visible.
" My love, my everything. Those are just two things that I think of I think of you in my heart, I think of the words: partner, companion, lover, friend, my future and my wife. W-When you say 'till death, do us part' I know you mean it with all your heart. I will never love someone so stubborn, hard-headed, beautiful and mesmerizing like you. If today was the last day of my existence then, I'm over-joyed to be here; standing in front of many saying I love you with all my heart and soul. In which I promise you, a happy life with nothing but laughter, a future brighter than the sun, love that is never-ending and arguments every day that shall be ended with a punch", he read from the paper in his hand. The crowd laughed as his words, but she smile brightly and looked at the man she loved with honor and pride.
" Many say that it's faint, that stars-crossed lovers are nothing but a magical belief; but that is exactly what we are. We are both stubborn and pride-filled, somethings its overwhelming but we manage. We manage to balance ourselves in some odd way, but yet again we are the odd ones who seem to defeat all odds: in battles, in love, friendship, appearance, skill and loyalty. You are the odd one in my life and I'm happy to hold and cherish such a different person. If it weren't for your difference, then you wouldn't be you and you wouldn't be the love of my life. I remember back in the summer, you once told me 'Being different is nothing but, a rank above all those who think they are normal'. Who wants normal, when I can have the most annoying, stubborn, pig-headed, loving and different man of my life. You aren't normal, but I love you for being different. You are my one of a kind", she spoke with a blush on her cheeks and smile upon her lips. She looked up at the man and smiled brightly at the sight of love in his eyes.
He smiled at her with happiness and whispered " I love you".
" I love you too", she replied before kissing her new husband for the first time.
As tears poured down my cheeks, I looked down at the ring on my finger. The gold band glimmered bright in the moon light and the gems glistened with happiness for the meaning each one of them held. I placed my small hand on my chest and felt the beat of heart in my palm. I wanted that beating heart to stop and be like his. I wanted to be with him.
The tears dripped into my robes and on the Captain's cloak as my feet brought me into the living room and away from the dungeon which was once call a bedroom. I looked over the lone room with its couch, table covered with paper-work he had for the night and the swords hanging by the couch.
My bright eyes stared at the silver blade on the walls. Once my husband passed, the blade never went back into its form; instead it just took the shape of a normal katana and not the beast he held in his hands with power.
I only got the blade back about five months ago, the other seven months the blade was in Division twelve getting tested for some energy. They thought that my husband's soul went into his blade; because the Quincy's could take bankai's and fight against a Captain or Shimigame. I remember when Head-Captain brought the blade back.
A knock echoed the house as his wrinkled fingers tapped the wooden door. His eyes went to the blade in his hand and then to the door; hoping the woman inside would open the door and let him return what was once her lovers blade. "Lieutenant ", he spoke as the door opened revealing the broken woman with stained cheeks.
" H-Head Captain", she said weakly as she bowed at the sight of him. He placed a hand on her shoulders and motioned for her to stand and not bow.
" Please don't, my dear" he told her. She nodded with sorrow and gestured the man inside the house. He walked inside and noticed the photo's and paper work of her husband. " It's just as he left it, that morning I presume" he spoke before looking at her. She nodded her head and looked over the house with all her loves belongings.
She looked to the wall and noticed her own blade glimmering in the room. Her heart tightened at the empty hooks where her husbands blade would sit at night; waiting for the morning he would take the blade down and rush into battle. " Head-Captain.." she whispered to the elderly man, who looked back at her with sad eyes. " W-When do you I get his blade back?" she asked with a crackling voice.
Yama looked over the room and to the empty rack on the wall. His heart grew sad at the sight of the single katana that screamed for its partner; it was almost like he could see into her heart and hear her pleads for her husband. " That is why, I am here. I'm here to give you what is rightfully yours", he handed her the blade and watched as she covered her mouth at the sight. The tears that rolled down her cheeks was something that he didn't expect from the woman; she was usually cold and cruel like her practice, but now she was nothing but a dying flower. " I'm sorry that we had to hold it for such a lo-" he tried but she stopped him.
" Head-Captain, its quiet fine", she interrupted.
I held my breath as I grabbed both blades and flashed out of the house with them in my arms. My eyes looked below me as I shunpoed over Soul Society; it was so peaceful at night because of all the tired Shimigames sleeping or with their families.
The tree's of sixth division concealed by green leafs and the ponds shimmered with the light of the moon causing my shadow to cover the grass. My bare feet ruffle the grass as I walked towards the manor upon the division. My eyes looked at the dark windows and the lack of movement in the house. Everyone was asleep.
My raven locks tousled as I got closer to the manor. I looked over to the tree's to see a figure in the moonlight. I froze at the sight and gripped my blade tightly in my palm; I dropped my husbands clothing and glared at the figure under the tree. Who was that? What were they doing?
" Who goes there at this time?", I asked formally. The figured moved slowly into the light causing me to ready myself for the release of my shikia, just for if a where to occur battle. " Answer me!" I ordered and the figure raised it's arms.
" Kuorsaki-san, please have misery", the figure laughed. I held my breath and squinted my eyes as the person came into view.
The long black hair and dazzling smile caused me to narrow my eyes at the man. " Zaraki-tachio" I said. The tan skin of the Captain glowed in the moonlight and his teeth cracked into a smile as he looked at me. " I shall not battle you tonight", I told him.
" I didn't expect you to", he told me. That was a shock; ever since I got my bankai and fought my husband Kenpachi wanted to fight me all the time. " I'm here because I just left your husbands burial grounds", he told me with a sad tone of voice.
I held my breath at his words and closed my eyes at the words: husbands burial grounds. I hated those world with a passion; they were nothing but sick and unbelievable to me; or was it that I didn't want to believe that my husband was put to rest. " O-Oh, why were y-"
" He would have wanted someone to come tonight, it is the time they... found him", he bit his tongue at his words; when my body froze and began to tremble. " Koursaki-san..." he whispered towards me. I snapped my dull and lifeless eyes towards him, which were full of tears for the memory of the night my husband's body was found.
The night my husband passed, wasn't the night that his body was found. I knew something was wrong when I felt his resti spike and then fade, but I was told that it was nothing and not to worry about; that a team of Shimigames were heading his way and going to help him. I believed in those words spoken by Unohana. But the team never made it that far; they only got to the entrance of the area before the Quincy killed them and then my husband.
After several hours of waiting, I grew anxious and begged the Head-Captain to let me and a group of Shimigames to go search for them. He only told me that, I could go after a 24 hour period.
I remembered pacing my house for hours and hours; every noise that came from outside I thought was my husband coming home but it was just the wind or something else. Finally, after the twenty-four hours I ran to every squad and grabbed the Captain's to help me search. Kenpachi and Byakuya were instantly ready to help, because my husband was close to them and spoke to them most days. Unohana came with me if there were any injured Shimigames or something wrong happened. The more Captain's that I gathered the more the Head-Captain was convinced that there was something wrong.
Once I had all the Captain's I stormed into the direction that my husbands pressure was before. It felt like hours until I got to the site and saw him... laying there in his own blood. At first I didn't know if it was him, but there was a feeling in my stomach telling me that it was him.
It didn't matter to me that there was several bodies throughout the field; each body was terribly mangled and destroyed like a hollow would if there was murder in mind.
" Oh my god", I remembered gasping at the sight before running to the worse body on the ground. I hugged the body tightly in my arms and wept into the body robes " No...no! You're not dead!", I remembered screaming into the corpse-
" You still think about finding him, don't you?" the Captain asked me, causing my thoughts to stop and for my attention to be drawn on him instantly. I looked at the murderous Captain and noticed the sorrow in his eyes for once; usually he was a crazy man who lived for blood but not tonight, he was a emotional man in front of me. " It was a sin for you to be the one to find your husband first", I felt a tears go down my cheek at his words. I never wanted to find my husband dead, I thought he would be injured. Not dead.
I sniffed and wiped my tears away before reaching into my robe and grabbing an envelope. " ... I would have rather found him... besides someone finding him and... telling me", I struggled at the idea. I didn't want to think about someone knocking on my door and then telling me: "Your husband is dead". That would be the worse.
Kenpachi released an unsure sigh and hugged me softly before looking at the manor behind us. I buried my face into his robes and closed my eyes at the embrace. " I'll miss you Kenpachi, you were a good man and a brilliant Captain", I thought as he pulled away from me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
As the man walked away, I watched him and noticed the letter in his side pocket. " You'll be the one to find me", I whispered as he disappeared in the night.
If there was one person I would want to find me; it would be Kenpachi for sure. He might be one of the most murderous Captain's but, he knew what a proper funeral and burial was; do to all his victims. I trusted him to do me justice in my funeral like he does with all his victims.
I took a deep breath as I got used to the idea of being alone at the Kuchiki manor; before I grabbed the items I dropped on the grass. I slowly wrapped my spouses blade in his robes and then cradled the katana in my arms. It was almost exactly how I packed for missions; with my blade tucked into my robes and ready for a battle.
My feet began on the grass causing the soft sound of ruffling to enter the air, as I headed towards the burial grounds.
As the manor became smaller and smaller behind me, I looked around the tree cover and pushed branches out of my way; as my eyes looked for the grave stones and the flags for the peaceful sleeps of the dead.
I flinched when an owl called into the night as if they were warning the divisions of another death, and soon have them running and searching for the victim. My eyes looked up at the birds large ones causing me to shake my head and continue on my way towards the graves. Owls were the wise animals, perhaps they have figured out my plan before I have.
A crack echoed in the silence caused by my feet snapping branches and breaking the wood like snapping a cracker in two. The floor of the forest was wet with mud, which caked my feet like a slipper. The night was warm due to the summer weather which meant the leaves were green and full of life. There was the sweet sound of the crickets in the night singing to the other animals, and in the darkness of the forest was the bright lights of the fireflies which lite my path with the moon in the sky.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard someone call me name in the woods, causing me to look left and right searching for the person. I stood there looking for the person, but saw nothing and all was silent as I searched. A sigh left my lips as I thought that I was just getting paranoid and it was nothing but a mind game; this thought caused me to press on for my search.
Finally, as the forest became thin I saw the sight of the red flags that wrote: Sleep in Peace. I held my breath at the words and bowed my head in honor for all those Shimigames who died in combat; to protect Soul Society and to keep the balance equal. They deserved to sleep in peace, because they died for the balance and fought for the heavens; it was time for them to have peace in this world.
I lifted my head and looked at the lines of graves; each one of them had a name and a saying on them, some were ranks and then was there words of loved one's. It was sad to see that there were fathers and brothers in the cemetery but they got here for doing a duty that many only dream about; they were sleeping in peace. There were not worries of a hollow appearing, a blade killing you or someone you love dying because they probably were sleeping as well; or so I thought.
My eyes wandered the graves as I passed Shimigames, then Co-Captains... then in the most spaced out rows was the Captain's.
I held my breath as the long rows of graves that stretched to a small district in the distance. We hadn't lost a lot of Captain's, but when it came to graves Soul Society would give them a huge one; due to their services and the power they carried for justice.
Reading the names one by one caused my heart to squeeze and tears to prick my eyes, but the one grave that stopped me out of the rest of the one which stood alone from the others. In front of the wondrous grey stone was a pile of flowers snow-lilies and babies breathes.
" Hey..." I whispered as I fell to my knee's with my eyes on the name. "... It's been a year now, ya know", I said as I closed my eyes and looked down at the flower Kenpachi left. My eyes poured tears as I thought of this place being the only place that, I could talk to my husband at forever. This couldn't be the only place-... I can't just sit here for my whole life and talk to nothing but a stone... I thought. I didn't find any comfort in talking to his grave, because I knew he wasn't there to begin with
I sniffed softly as I looked at the fresh soil with tiny buds of grass upon it; my husband was the only Captain in a while to pass. But, when... I found him, his body was so mangled that I didn't know it was him until I saw his wedding ring. Just from the white band of gold and the carving: Forever, was enough for me to know that was my husband on the ground.
I could remember screaming to the heavens in front of all the Captain's as I cradled his bloody body, causing my robes to become soaked with his blood and cover my pale skin with nothing but his rich life. It was like I was the murderer of my love; well that's what some might think if they saw me walking back.
" ... I never did get to say goodbye to you", I sobbed as I clinched the ground below me. " I would have loved to hold you once more and... say goodbye", my cheeks were painted red from my tears as I looked at the name and the ground. " I just wish I said goodbye..." I whispered.
In the tears of my sorrow there was a glimmer which came from my blade and his; I reached over and gripped the hilt of his katana. "... Head-Captain gave your blade back not too long ago... it was nice to see it back on the wall with mine; it was like you never left", I sobbed as I placed the katana at the stone and stared at the metal which reflected my sorrow filled face. I wiped my tears and looked at the image of myself; it wasn't even me anymore. I was nothing but a weeping widow who just wanted her love back.
A smile crossed my lips as I saw the image of a tall man with spiky hair behind me. His skin was like the sun and eyes as bright as the light which lite his heart. My smile dropped when I noticed that he was transparent and the tree's were visible through his body. "... You never did come back.." I whispered, he frowned and raised a hand out to me.
I reached to my waist and gripped my blade in my tiny hand. The singing of the blade in the air was something that my heart became happy to hear.
His large hand went through her short raven locks as she looked into his eyes. The smell of love, passion and lush was in the air as they smiled bright at each. "... I never want to lose you", he told her. Immediately her smile dropped and her lips went still. " Promise me that you will always come back to me", he spoke.
Her eyes pleaded for his mercy as she thought of what to say in return. " Only if, you promise to come back every day", he smiled at her words and kissed her softly on her tender but flushed lips.
I poked the tip at my heart and closed my eyes as I thought of being with him again. Having his touch on my skin and his lips on mine; both of us sleeping in peace like we have before.
They parted slowly and smiled at each other with happiness. Her eyes were as bright as the sun. "...What if we can't make it back to each other?" she asked him with a dying wish burning in her orbs.
He was silent at her words and pulled her closer into his embrace. "... Then we shall find away, so we are together once again".
I held my breath and looked up at the stars of Soul Society; they were the brightest I have ever seen in a long time. Perhaps this was the right thing to do.
The tip of the blade was cold as it broke through my robes and touched the pale skin. My tears stained the blade as they slid down my cheeks and danced on the blade.
" What if one of us dies?" he asked her. She looked at him with soft eyes for the question.
" ... Don't die on me; if you do I will be force to find a way so I will be with you" she whispered.
I gasped as I looked down at the blade; my red blood covered the silver blade and flooded down my breast as my vision became blurry. My skin was as cold as ice, when I tumbled to the ground. I felt my hand press against the warm blood causing it to cover my skin; it was so red and hot, nothing like I expected.
My lips parted as the pain rushed through my body and the rush of shock left my soul. The pain was easily compared to being boiled alive; you felt your skin slowly peel off, flesh burning at the water and see the blood cloud the water; pure torture but worth it at the end I hoped.
The taste of my blood was in my throat as I coughed and the red liquid splattered to the ground; painting the dirt with my red serum of life.
I closed my eyes slowly as my heart-beat died and my breath disappeared.
I was dead.
" Wake-up" the wind spoke in my ear but with a husky voice. I scrunched my nose and smelt the sweet spicy aroma of my husband causing me to open my eyes. " Hey", he smiled as his hand brushed through my raven locks. I sat up and looked into his bright eyes; one of his hands cupped my pale cheek and the other placed on my heart which pounded with happiness at the sight of him once again.
I had him back, just like I wanted. " Was it all just a dream?" I whispered to him. He shook his head softly and kissed my forehead. I didn't understand; I could feel him and touch him like I did when we were in Soul Society. " Ichigo..." my eyes filled with tears at the sight of his orange hair and perfect face. I couldn't help but collapse in his arms and weep like a baby. "...You never came back, you Baka!" I yelled into his chest.
My tiny fist gripped his robes tightly till they turned red; I felt his lips kiss my hair and his arms wrap around my body just like he had in my dreams. "... I'm sorry" he whispered into my raven locks. A tear trickled down his cheek as he listened to my sobbing; a hand laced in my locks as he wept was something that I wasn't expecting. " I'm not going anywhere again, I promise... I promise, Rukia" he whispered.
I looked up from his chest and wrapped my arms around his shoulders; I buried my face into his robe and cried softly causing my breaths became hiccups. " I have you back", I sobbed. The warm trickle of his breath was on my neck as he buried his head into my neck and inhaled my scent. "... I can't live a year without you, let alone a whole life time", I whispered.
He was silent at my words; just enjoying our reunion for the most part. " I watched over you everyday; when you sleep and woke up in tears even till your death", he told me.
So, I was dead and with him. For some reason the thought of being dead wasn't uneasy to me; it was rather calming and reassuring to my heart.
I guess, death is the limit lovers will take to have each other for eternities.
Tell me what you think and if the emotion was well written; it will be needed for the Bucket List and possible other stories I will be working on later on.
Love, Bleachlover2346
Who did you originally think the woman was and her husband was?
