Disclaimer: I don't own HSM
A/N: To all those who died during 9/11, we will remember. x
September 11 2007-New York
Looking down I knew how ridiculous I probably looked, but there was no way I was taking it off. It came down to mid-thigh, hanging over my dark blue jeans. It had his smell still, even after all these years of wearing it, and Mom's frequent wash cycles. I always kept it close by after he'd gone. It was something I'd never let go off. It was something that belonged close to my heart, something that would always belong close to my heart. It was my Dad's.
People always say they feel your pain when a loved one dies, but do they really know. Or is it just a sympathetic act to keeps your hopes up, to make you feel better?
It hurts to think that he will never watch me grow up, never see me get married, see me start my own family and it hurts to know that I will never hear his voice again, see his face again. 6 years later, I still can't accept why he had to go. Why it had to be him.
A tear rolled down my face before I had the chance to stop it. I picked up my head, having been staring at my swinging feet for too long. I took a glance over to the right, the bright beams shooting up into the night sky could be seen for miles around. Reminding people of what once stood there, of what New York lost that day on September 11 2001.
I didn't want to be reminded, I didn't need to be reminded. Looking over at those beams, I would forever be reminded of September 11 2001, the day I lost my Dad.
I sat in the deserted park a while longer, before a big breeze blew over me making my hairs stand on end. I stood up. My brown hair catching the wind, flying in front of my face. I tucked it behind my ear as I walked through the streets to the apartment block I called home. Keeping my head down as I walked, I didn't want to be noticed. I didn't need to be noticed.
Reaching the apartment block, I saw my grandmothers car parked on the road outside the entrance. I inwardly groaned and rushed to the door. I was met with the warmth of the building as I stepped inside and headed to the stairs, climbing up the 5 sets until I reached our floor.
The Arguing could be heard from a distance away. She was having a go at my mother again. Having a go about my father, to my mother. This never ends well for someone.
Pushing open the apartment door I gave a heavy sigh. My mother was leant up against the kitchen counter, tears clearly visible in her eyes, threatening to fall but she wouldn't let them. "If he hadn't been as stupid and accepted that job," My grandmother began before my mom interrupted.
"Troy never knew that was going to happen Mom!" she yelled. "None of us did!"
"Well I'm just saying, if he hadn't done it you wouldn't be in this state now."
Both women turned when the apartment door slammed shut behind me and I ran back down the stairs I had just climbed. It seemed that the victim of the argument today was me.
"Kennedy!"
I could hear my mothers voice as she followed me down the stairs.
"Kennedy Mei. Please!"
I stopped and turned round. My tear stained face met hers.
"She's right Mami, and it kills me to think of it that way." I said as she scooped me into her embrace. "If Daddy hadn't accepted that job, hadn't gone into work that day, then maybe, just maybe..." a sob overtook my body before I could finish. I stood there for a few moments, sobbing into my mother's t-shirt. "Then maybe he'd be here today, and we wouldn't be in this state." I finished quietly.
That was when I felt my mother's tear drops hit the top of my head. She tried to be strong about the situation, but even I knew it was killing her inside more than it was killing me.
My mom loved my dad. And my dad loved my mom. They were 2 peas in a pod. After meeting one new years eve and singing together, they immediately connected. Then mom moved to Albuquerque, attended the same school as dad and well it went on from there. After college they got married and after a year of Marriage, I was born.
I've been told I brought them closer, made their relationship stronger, and I smile at the faint memory. I've been doing that a lot since dad died. Having memories of my childhood with him, knowing he'll always live on in my heart.
My Grandmother came down the stairs after a short while, announcing she was leaving and would be back in the morning before she would drive back home. We moved out of our embrace and followed her to the main door.
Mom managed a small smile as she left the apartment block and climbed into her car, before driving off into the city. She wiped her eyes before she turned to me and offered another small smile, which I shyly returned.
She crossed the small space over to me again, and kissed my forehead. "Look at us Kennedy." she whispered. "We're both hot messes."
I chuckled quietly before I wrapped my arms around her again, finding comfort in the way she held me tightly.
I tried so hard not to cry again, I was done with the tears for another year. But my eyes clouded over as I thought about that fateful morning. I never got to say goodbye to my Dad that morning, I never got to tell him I loved him.
I sniffled and Mom pulled back to wipe at my tears. "He knew Mi hija." she whispered quietly. Then she let out a breath and held out her hand. "How about me and you go back upstairs, order a Pizza, then snuggle together on the couch and watch Daddy's favourite movie?"
"If your talking Toy Story, then I'm up for it." I replied on a small giggled before I locked my hand in hers and followed her up the stairs.
I followed my Mom into the apartment and walked through to the living room I collapsed onto the sofa, and pulled down the blanket hanging over the back before I wrapped it round my body. Mom emerged from the kitchen the house phone in her hand. She looked over at me.
"Want your usual?"
I shook my head. "I want Daddy's Pizza," I mumbled quietly. She smiled slightly.
"You know what baby girl, I want that too." Mom then walked off back to the kitchen. I offered the room a small sigh before I unwrapped the blanket and walked over to the DVD cabinet. My eyes scanned the shelves until I came across Toy Story. I pulled it from it's place in the cabinet, before I opened it and slotted the disk into the DVD player connected to the TV.
I turned around and my Mom was already sat on the sofa with the blanket, waiting for me. The remote gripped tightly in her hand. I walked over to her and collapsed next to her. Snuggling into her side almost immediately.
Her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding onto me. Afraid if she'll let go I'll disappear, just like Daddy did.
We spent our evening like that, cuddle up on the sofa together. Then when the movie finished, we talked happy, sweet memories of Dad. Before I grew tired and fell asleep on my mothers lap, gripping on tightly to her like a child, wrapped in Daddy's blanket.
Although my Daddy isn't with me anymore, I'll forever know he'll live on in our hearts... I love you Daddy... I miss you...
