Chapter 1:
She hadn't told anyone about it yet. Not even Kenny. But just after she sent Cartman to Hell the Grim Reaper begged her to take his job. He was sick of people begging to be spared when it was obvious their time was up. He hastily gave her his scythe, his cloak and his hour glass and disappeared. She was stuck with the job ever since. Not that she wanted it either. She was already struggling to control the new power Kenny had given her. She didn't even know how she was going to tell the mayor about this as McDaniels was still fostering her. She sighed. Small wonder the old Reaper no longer wanted the job. Three people in one day begged her to spare them. She couldn't once their time was up. She had to take them. She wished there was someone else to take the job from her. She grumbled and went to the graveyard. She still had souls she needed to escort to the afterlife.
XXXX
He laughed manically as they cowered in fear. His birth mother and father no longer had custody of him after his adoption was finalised.
"You are so grounded Mr!" He laughed again as Mr. Stotch tried to be formidable.
"Fool! You're days of grounding me are done!" He hit Stephen with a blast of energy that shocked him knocking him into the wall behind the couch.
"Stephen? What are we going to do?!" Linda panicked as she helped his father up.
"Butters?" He stopped in his tracks when he heard his adoptive father – PC Principal – was looking for him. "Come on son, we're going shopping so we can set up your new room."
He hit Stephen Stotch with another blast of energy before following PC Principal out the door with his minions in tow. "Coming dad!"
XXXX
"Chaos is losing it. I can see it." She said as The Freedom Pals assembled in Token's basement for a meeting. She kept a close eye on Butters and could tell he was up to something. She didn't mention it, but he had been trying to recruit her to his team.
"To be fair he did spend like two months in solitary because of Fat Ass." Toolshed reminded her.
"We still have to watch him." Mysterion backed her up. "He's recruiting minions again and I've seen a girl working with him and General Disarray."
"A girl joined Chaos?" Captain Diabetes asked incredulously.
"Dude, Butters used to be a pimp and he's had a girlfriend before." Human Kite reminded him.
"What girlfriend?" Captain Diabetes seemed confused.
"That Canadian girl. Don't you remember?" Human Kite seemed surprised Captain Diabetes would forget.
"Oh yeah." Toolshed remembered her too.
"We just need to talk to him." She interjected after the conversation was going nowhere. "Remind him that he's a Freedom Pal now and he doesn't need to be a villain."
"Are you joining us Kitty?" Mysterion asked as he reminded her that she still hadn't joined them officially.
"I still don't know." She wanted to get the darkness with in her under control before she made her decision. "I'll think about it."
"We don't need Chaos to be a villain we already have Fat Ass for that." Super Craig added.
"Where is Fat Ass anyway?" The Shadow asked.
"Still in Hell and he's staying there." She had her scythe propped up against the wall behind her. None of her friends knew about her new job.
"That scythe is pretty cool." She noticed Mysterion admiring it. She still didn't know how to tell him she was Death.
"Thanks." It was her newest weapon. She also carried snap 'n' pop fireworks, a whip, knives and smoke bombs when she was on patrol.
"What are we doing about Chaos?" Wonder Tweek asked nervously. "He'll take over the world and kill us all. Argh!"
"No he won't." She wouldn't let him. "I'll talk to him. I'll beat him up if that's what it takes to knock sense into him."
XXXX
Two more people that night. She'd only been the Reaper for a week and already didn't care for the job. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed him. "Satan? What are you doing here?"
"Please?" He sounded desperate. "Take him back."
"Who am I taking back?" Neither Satan nor God had asked her to take a soul back once she sent it to the afterlife.
"Eric Cartman." Satan looked worn and fed up. "Take him back."
She shook her head. "No way. That fat turd stays where he is."
"Please take him back. The demons can't stand him." She gaped at him when the Dark Lord started begging.
"Why don't you talk to God, like you did with Sadam?" She asked incredulously.
"God doesn't want him in heaven either." Satan explained desperately. "Take him back, please?!"
"No one wants him here either." She didn't want to bring Cartman back. He deserved to stay in Hell.
Things between them became embarrassing when Satan's begging was pathetic. "You have to take him back. He's undermining my authority."
"Oh for the love of God!" She cried when Satan fell to his knees and clutched the hem of her cloak. "You can't be serious?!"
"I can't take it anymore." He looked at her with sad puppy eyes. "Take him back!"
"God!" She snatched the hem of her cloak from his grasp. "Fine, I'll take the fat turd back!"
"I'm free? I'm free!" Cartman climbed through a portal Satan opened up just before the dark Lord disappeared through the same gateway to Hell.
"Aw shit!" She grumbled with embarrassment. She hoped nobody saw.
XXXX
"You think he'd be a little more discreet about this don't you?" Mysterion said as they watched Chaos from a distance.
Chaos and his team were outside the mall actively recruiting minions in broad day light.
"What's he planning?" Captain Diabetes wondered out loud.
"That's her." Call Girl pointed her out. They climbed over each other to see.
She already knew Chaos had a new girl on his team. He'd already told her when he tried to recruit her. "Do we know anything about her?" She asked curiously as they watched them. Chaos's new teammate had bright red curly hair, brown skin, brown eyes and her costume consisted of a black shirt, goggles, blue shorts, black boots and Professor Chaos's trademark tin foil.
Call Girl shook her head. All they knew about her was that she was just one of many new minions Chaos had recruited.
"We don't even know her name." The Shadow said as he monitored them through a pair of binoculars.
"I can't hear what they're saying." Mysterion was trying and failing to lip read as Chaos spoke to new recruits.
"The rednecks?" They all noticed Daryl Weathers and the other rednecks joining Chaos's team.
She wondered where Chaos was getting the money. The loan she got for Chaos was enough to pay the migrant workers, but not enough to pay the rednecks or the Chaos Kids a decent wage.
"Does Chaos know about the Kittycam security system?" Mysterion asked as he read her mind.
"N-no." She yawned. Her new job kept her up most of the night so she wasn't certain if she'd told Chaos about her Kittycam project or not. Sending her cats down to spy on them was a good idea because then she could monitor their conversation on her laptop without being noticed. She sent her fluffy white kitten to do the job. There was a tiny video camera in the tag on the cat's collar.
Wonder Tweak came back with coffee after she set up the cameras and they could hear their conversation. "You can have my employee discount Kitty."
She gratefully accepted the coffee as she'd almost fallen asleep waiting for Wonder Tweek to come back. "Thanks Tweek."
"Isn't this neat?" Professor Chaos beamed as people lined up to join the team. "Now I'm getting funding I can afford to give those fellas minion jobs."
"How'd he get the money?" Super Craig wondered out loud as they were eavesdropping.
"Thanks to Kitty's loan and our financial backer we can get this thing started." Chaos said as he failed to notice the fluffy white kitten that'd wandered over to spy on him.
The Freedom Pals looked at her. She hadn't told them she'd secured a loan for Professor Chaos to help him pay the minions he already had. She laughed nervously. "H-he's still a friend. I said I'd help him out."
"Aw!" It was the first time they'd heard her say anything. The girl working with Chaos picked up her kitten to give him a hug. "It's so cute!"
"At lease Snowflake likes attention." Kitty noted as some of her strays don't like attention. The black and white moggy of hers barely tolerated pats, but liked her company. She called him Grumpy because of this. She giggled as the girl played with her kitten and scratched his belly.
"This security system will get us more leads on any crime in the city." Captain Diabetes was impressed. "No wonder you always have more Intel than we do Kitty."
"This could be problematic." Mysterion alerted their attention back to the girl holding Kitty's fluffy white kitten Snowflake. She'd started sneezing.
"Are you okay Fire Hazard?" Professor Chaos asked as she continued sneezing and scared the kitten away.
They didn't gain much information from the security system, but they had the girl's name, they knew Kitty Litter helped him get a loan before he joined the Freedom Pals only to turn his back on them shortly after a few months in solitary confinement and there was another financial backer. They just had to find out who was paying him.
XXXX
"I feel kinda weird asking the mayor for money." She said as she and her friends Wendy, Bebe, Red and Annie gathered around her locker. Wendy asked if she and Kenny would go to a movie with her and Stan. She wanted to go, but she didn't know how to ask for the money to go even though the mayor of South Park was now her foster mother. She was also sure Kenny wouldn't have any money either as he was just as poor as she was.
"Aren't you living with her now?" Bebe asked curiously.
"Yeah." She yawned. Another night spent collecting souls as the Reaper and another week's worth of missed homework. She couldn't even think of a reasonable excuse to give Ms. Nelson who would undoubtedly be pissed that she'd forgotten all her quizzes again.
"I finished it last night." Butters was saying as he wheeled his science project – a papier-mâché volcano – past them. Stan, Kyle and Kenny had all finished their projects too. "Just in time too."
She banged her head into her locker and groaned. "Oh God! The project!"
"Did you forget?" Kenny seemed worried. He'd finished his weeks ago and had trained his rats to run through a complicated maze he'd built himself.
"Yes, I forgot." She grumbled with annoyance she directed at herself. She couldn't even think up a last minute project. Something Fat Ass was an expert at even if he usually failed the assignment for his half-assed efforts.
She groaned and excused herself to go to the bathroom. She wanted to avoid the classroom and Ms. Nelson for as long as possible. She dreaded the spelling test in the afternoon as she knew there'd be another argument with the teacher that'd land her in the principal's office.
"Holy shit!" She didn't see her. She wasn't even paying attention. She turned to finally go to class and face the teacher, but crashed into someone on the way out. She helped her up as both girls landed on the ground after colliding into each other.
"Kat…" She mumbled nervously and straightened out her clothes. She dressed in jeans, a red shirt and a black jacket.
She knew who Theodora was. She'd seen her at school before. Her bright red curly hair was hard to miss. Her friends also told her about Theodora Hamish. She was apparently one of the biggest gossips in school and Wendy warned her not to trust her. Theodora was obviously nervous and wanted to talk to her, which only made her nervous to be around her. "Can… I help you?"
"I need to talk to you about something." She mumbled nervously. "Something I saw. I saw you."
She was taken aback. She tried to excuse herself to go to class, but Theodora blocked her. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"That wasn't you in the grave yard was it?" Theodora cornered her and demanded answers. "Tell me that wasn't you! You're not the reaper. You can't be!"
Her face went white. No one knew. She hadn't told Kenny yet. What did she see?
She hoped to God it wasn't the embarrassing display between her and Satan a few nights ago. It was bad enough that Fat Ass had returned to school. Who else knew? So far no one knew how Fat Ass had managed to return from the pits of Hell once she sent him there. She'd be surprised if Theodora hadn't told anyone else.
"Y-you must've been dreaming." She mumbled nervously and tried to get away from her. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."
"That wasn't you? I didn't see Satan begging you to take Fat Ass back?" Theodora asked as if she didn't want it to be true.
"I- I don't want to get detention again…" She pushed past Theodora and hurried to class getting there just as the bell signalling the start of first period rang.
