Q: What is your opinion of Dr. Rosalene, Neil?

Neil: Eva?...She's competent. I can tolerate her. Next question.

Q: Umm...

Neil: ...?

Q: Anything a little more...substantial?

Neil: Substantial? What more is there to say? She's my assistant. My protegee, if you will. I taught her everything she knows about this business...Er, keep that off the record.

Q: What's her personality like?

Neil: Aw geez, just grab your fishing rod, why don't you? She's FINE. She's...I don't know. Nice? Doesn't smell bad? Knows how to toast a pop-tart?

Q: You DO work together, don't you?

Neil: Well yeah, but it's not like there's much time for idle prattle when there's a dying client, now is there?

Q: I...I apologize, I wasn't trying to -

Neil: That's right, you apologize. Next question.

Q: ...What do you like to do in your spare time?

Neil: Wrestling gorillas. I'd show you my kara-kwon-chun belt, but it's so black, light cannot escape; only those born with The Gift may gaze upon its splendor.

Q: What's your favorite genre of music?

Neil: Screamo pop

Q: Favorite ice cream flavor?

Neil: Milk

Q: Any siblings?

Neil:...No.

Q: Any significant other?

Neil: No.

Q: What was your childhood like?

Neil: ...

Q: ...?

Neil: I had a swimmingly good childhood. Next question.

Q: Have you heard from your father lately?

Neil: ...You know, Eva Rosalene is the best partner I could ask for. She's just about the only co-worker whose presence I can tolerate for longer than 10 minutes. Or rather, she's the only one who puts up with ME for that long. I mean, yeah, she can be quite the killjoy, and she's got the sense of humor of a cucumber. But even THAT grows on you after a while... She's dedicated, compassionate, insanely intelligent. She likes big band music, Oscar-nominated movies, apples on her oatmeal. She can't lie to save her life, and she hates that. There are times when I can't make heads or tails of what's going on in that mind of hers, but when I do, it throws her off so bad. It's endlessly amusing, actually.

You gotta hand it to the poor girl, though. She wants so very badly to understand what I'm all about. And how can you blame her? We've known each other for the latter half of our lives...Actually, I've known her for the latter half of our lives. All she wants is for me to reciprocate and "open up." She tries so hard to figure me out, and I'm not lifting a finger to make it easy for her. If she already has, she probably won't tell me. And I won't tell her anything she shouldn't know. She asks me for details about my private life, and I give her my pity. It's okay; she loves pity. Laps it up like a dog.

Now, don't get me wrong. This isn't some kind of a power-trip; I'm not that sick in the head.

I just never put much stock in maintaining connections with people. They come, they go. Oh well. Move on.

But...And I swear on my grandfather, this is the truth...

If there's anything in the world I would do everything in my power to protect, it's my friendship with Eva.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.


Q: So what's Dr. Watts like?

Eva: Ohhh Dr. Watts...You know, I could write books about how little I know about him, as funny as that sounds. He's...quite the character, alright.

Q: Care to elaborate?

Eva: Well, he's just...a very closed-off person. There's way more going on behind those ridiculously thick glasses and equally thick skull than he'll ever tell me.

Q: Aren't you two good friends?

Eva: Your guess is as good as mine. I'm fairly picky about who I choose to call a friend, and even though Neil's enough of an arrogant, irresponsible prick to turn me away...he's still around for some inexplicable reason. He's been part of my life for over 10 years now. That's more than I can say about actual friends I've had in the past...And I can't quite put my finger on it, but that really means something to me. He's just...always been there.

And you know, just between you and me, I find myself wondering...Why does Neil want to stick around? We have very little in common. He thinks I suck the fun out of everything, and we're always butting heads.

Q: Do you think he has some kind of ulterior motive?

Eva: Neil? He may be a self-serving tool, but he doesn't use people like that. Not that extremely, anyway. If there's one thing that Neil takes seriously, it's our trust in each other. Our line of work can get dangerous; we have to be prepared to put our lives in each other's hands. I can't say with any certainty whether Neil Watts and I are friends, but I know for a fact that when things get sticky, he has my back and I have his. We've proven that on several occasions.

Q: Would you like to be friends with Dr. Watts?

Eva:...I would. As much as I hate to say it, I really would. I'm not holding my breath though. I know Neil well enough to know the odds of him wanting a friendship with me...

And that's all I care to say about that.