A/N: These are in no particular order and are essentially just doodles/musings regarding certain points in Naruto after reading too many Naruto fics. I said I'd stop with long works but never said anything about short crack pieces.


#1: Finger of God… Ahem, Tsunade

"Brat, I could trash you with one finger, just one." Tsunade didn't bother listening to the yellow-haired younger Minato clone wannabe's blathering as she pulled on a glove… a rather large glove. "I could beat Jiraiya with one finger too, you know."

Now, her old teammate didn't like the look of what she was doing and cleared his throat, saying "I'm pretty sure I usually only let me punch you across the village because it would be worse otherwise?" Bah, the old pervert probably didn't want to look bad in front of his godson…

Tsunade ignored him "You know I'm the world's most renowned medic, right, brat?" The male blonde present nodded. "Then I note that you seem the right age to be starting puberty and need to investigate whether or not the Nine-Tails affects it. Take off your clothes."

Naruto flushed red while Jiraiya paled, hissing in panic "Don't tell me…"

"Unless you want a prostate exam too, Jiraiya, shut the hell up. You're more prone to prostate cancer at your age, you know. Alternatively, I could flick you somewhere else close to that…"


A/N: My first thought on beating a man with one finger was basically One Thousand Years of Death (by humiliation).