This is a songfic that I had written for a challenge and am now reposting!
Song: Fallin' for You by Colbie Caillat
I do not own X-Men or the song Fallin' for You.
It had been about 4 years since I had hid in the back of Logan's truck that cold winter night. Logan was still hanging around the mansion. This surprised everyone because we all thought after Jean died he would melt away to the night. But even after Scott was found alive and the Professor came back, he stayed.
If I was being selfish and blind I could convince myself he was staying for me. The kid he promised to keep safe and protect.
I let out a big sigh. I've come to hate that word: kid. The one thing in the world I am not.
I smoothed my hands over the dress I was wearing for the Valentine's Party. I loved the feeling of the fabric on my hands. I loved all the things I have felt since I learned control only a few weeks ago. My secret that no one knows, because I only want to share it with one person.
I don't know but I think I maybe fallin' for you. Dropping so quickly maybe I should keep this to myself.
As I walked down stairs to the party I thought about how everyone thinks my crush on Logan is gone. And somewhat it is. Now I'm afraid that it might be or being replaced with a stronger emotion than a childish crush.
I am so gone in wanting him. But I keep my mouth shut as I watch him mope around at night pining for Jean. He doesn't need to have any more stress.
Waiting 'til I know you better.
I scanned the ballroom to see if he is there. There he is. Sitting in the corner drinking and smoking. Why did he even come? I'm pretty sure I'm the person that knows him the best, but most of the time I know nothing about him.
How can I when most of his life is even hidden from him?
I am trying not to tell you but I want to. I'm scared of what you'll say. So I'm hiding what I'm feeling but I'm tired of holding this inside my head.
I barely listen to Jubilee preening about her new shoes as I sneak glances at Logan from the corner of my eye. I want to tell him how I feel, even though I know it could cause him even more pain. It's like something inside of me screams each time I see him. Screaming I am yours please take me. Don't leave me.
But come on. What would he say? 'Sorry kid. I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather's grandfather. Wanna go get something to eat?' I felt myself smile thinly, knowing how close it would most likely be.
So of course I keep my mouth closed and push that screaming firmly into a box.
I've been spending all my time just thinking about ya. I don't know what to do I think I'm fallin' for you.
When Gambit comes to flirt with me I bat my eyelashes. On the outside I'm charming and happy and sweet, but inside, inside I'm comparing him to Logan. I can just hear him scoffing at Remy's poetic words. Saying if he wanted to catch a girl he sure as hell wouldn't have to confuse them with words to get them.
I've been waiting all my life and now I found ya I don't know what to do. I think I'm fallin' for you I'm fallin' for you.
I was finally alone for a second. And what do I do. Stare at Wolverine while drinking a glass of cherry punch. I was getting pathetic.
But how could I not? He was everything I have ever wanted in a guy. The one I never knew I dreamed about as a little girl. The on filling my every fantasy. The only guy who would never want me. What should I do? What can I do?
Wait for heartbreak. Because I love him. There I admitted it. I love him and I always will, no matter what he does.
As I'm standing here and you hold my hand. Pull me towards you and we start to dance. All around us I see nobody. Here in silence it's just you and me.
I stared in my glass of punch, not paying attention to anything. Lost in my thoughts.
"Marie?"
My head snapped up. "Logan?"
"Wanna dance? I ain't got nothin' better to do in this joint."
Hardly a romantic proposal, but in my mind it was sweeter than any of Remy's poetic spouting.
"Sure."
I struggled to keep my voice steady. I almost collapse as he grabs my hand and gently tugs me out onto the dance floor.
I wished desperately I had told everyone about my control so I didn't have to worry about my gloves. I could take them off and feel his warm calloused grip.
He maneuvers us on to the dance floor and put his hand on my waist. I resisted the urge to suck in my stomach…barely.
As the music starts slow he sways us back in forth and gently in circles.
The people disappear and the music fades away. All I hear is my heartbeat and all I see are his eyes.
I am trying not to tell you but I want to. I'm scared of what you'll say. So I'm hiding what I'm feeling but I'm tired of holding this inside my head.
That screaming is back. It's telling me to tell him. Should I? I want to so bad… But how I can risk it all? Our friendship and trust? It'll never be the same again if I speak.
So I give that push a forceful shove and pack it back in its box.
My head aches with the effort.
I've been spending all my time just thinking about ya. I don't know what to do I think I'm fallin' for you. I've been waiting all my life and now I found ya I don't know what to do. I think I'm fallin' for you I'm fallin' for you.
In this moment I am the fairytale princess who's been saved by the prince. The girl who found the right frog. I am the one who has found the One, I'll never let him go.
I've stood by side even after knowing all his memories. He's always inside of me, at every moment.
When he saved he ruined me, he marked me even if he didn't know it.
"Hey Logan can we go outside and get some fresh air? It's just burning up in here."
"Sure kid. Come on."
We get outside and stare at the moon. It has almost an orange tint to it.
For a moment we stand there in silence.
Oh I just can't take it my heart is racing. The emotions keep spinning out.
I take a deep breath.
"Logan, I have something to tell you…."
End
