Toothless is having a major crisis. Some three months after the fight with the dragon queen, Hiccup confessed that he is actually the one that shot him down. This damaged his tailfin and robbed him of flight. The shocked dragon has a relapse to his old state of mind: being mistrustful, bitter and dismissive.
But someone is intent on helping both him and Hiccup out.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cressida Cowell and DreamWorks.
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When he told me
We know each other for some time now. He had been nervous for a couple of days already. Then, with a pale face, he had called me by my name: Toothless. A lame name he gave to me because of my retractable fangs. At some point he approached me with his uneven step. Because that's how he walks now with his new iron foot as he lost his natural foot when we crashed. Nervously he addressed me and stated that it was he that shot me out of the air and made me fall down from the sky.
What? WHAT?
It shocked me to the core. So it was him that shot me down, sending me crashing through the trees, which cost me one half of my tailfin. That's why it was him that found me; because he was looking for his catch. I never asked myself who shot me down. I just assumed it was one of the bulky warriors that battled my kind. But not this soft, little human. The one that befriended me.
This hurts. THIS HURTS SO MUCH.
I stepped back, away from him, in sheer unbelief. Then suddenly I was gripped by loathing and disgust and I ran off, into the forest. He called after me, but it meant nothing to me. I ran and ran, but could not outrun the pain. No, NO. So it was YOU that shot me down, forever crippling me. I know we were at war. But you, that it had been YOU.
I TRUSTED you.
The betrayal made me whine as a dragon rarely does. I ran further and further into the woods, until I ran out of the treeline onto a meadow that I didn't recognize. It was on top of a cliff overlooking the ocean. There was nowhere to go. No escape from this island. I simply cannot fly off.
I CANNOT FLY. Because of YOU.
Frustrated I paced the meadow, getting angrier by the heartbeat. MY TAILFIN. My capability to fly! Gone! Without a proper steer I could not gain height or fly a straight line anymore. Just flap around a bit. The full shock of it, so long held back, washed over me. And I let it out, howling, blasting the trees to cinders. My honour, my pride. Gone! My independence, solitude. Gone! My play with the winds, soaring the heavens under moon and stars. Gone. Gone. ALL GONE.
And you my 'dear friend' what about you? What motivated your actions? Guilt? Why didn't you finish me off in the first place when you had the knife at my throat? Hadn't that been the only possible outcome in centuries of conflict between men and dragon? One slash and I would not have suffered like this. However frightened I was when I saw the knife ready for the plunge, at least it would have been brief agony. A weakling he is, body and mind.
No he isn't, said a little voice in my head.
Shut up.
If he was a weakling, how did he have the strength to throw the heavy ropes that entangled me so high up in the air? Yes how? It's puzzling. But why does the whole thing tear my hear apart?
Still, I didn't know it was you and two days later I touched the hand that crippled me in friendship. It's disgusting. Why you. WHY.
Above all: you stole my heart. A dragon's heart! How did he lure me into surrendering it? Perhaps he tricked me, when he scribbled something in the sand? Or enchanted me when he stepped, danced, through the lines I drew in the sand? As that had been truly mesmerising.
I should have killed him earlier when I had him pinned down under my claw, just after he cut me loose from the ropes. As I do not lack killer instinct. Why did I not do it? It was the natural thing to do: to crush him like the smallest of prey. I, who had the potential to grow into the most fearsome dragon, being fearsome already, why didn't I kill you? You took my heart and everything else away from me. You THIEF. Deceiver!
I changed, but what have I become? A shadow of my former self, like a tame beast. Careful with my strength, so I would not knock things over in the village. Careful with my glances, so nobody would get upset. Still people look at me with reserve when I walk by. When I WALK. How degrading is that! Once full grown, I would have come crashing down from the sky so fast they wouldn't know what hit them. In one swoop striking down the mightiest of their warriors.
Enemy-thinking, this is. Don't return to the old ways, you. They were no good either. Things have changed, haven't they?, says the little voice.
Shut up!
But what dragon have I become when I do not dare to cast fire for fear that the people would throw me out? This village is all that is left to me. I am at their mercy as without the food that Hiccup and the villagers provide, I would starve.
This is not the way a dragon should live. How can I live without dignity?
I don't know myself anymore. I lost too much. Nothing is left to me.
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