Okay... this is my first time ever writing for Hetalia, and I'm a little nervous. But oh well! I haven't really read many of the Hetalia fanfictions, so I don't know if there's some sort of custom you guys have while writing or anything. Be nice, please!
EDIT: What is with this site and screwing up my italics every time I publish something? ARGH!
It was a beautiful day.
Well, actually... no... 'cause it was thunderstorming at Switzerland's place, Japan was suffering from heavy clouds and fog, Russia was being bombarded by a blizzard, and Germany was sulking in the rain.
But when America opened his eyes one fine October morning, it was beautiful outside. So, naturally, he took that to mean that it was beautiful everywhere. Even if there was a hurricane brewing in the southern part of his own country.
A wide grin came across America's face. He had just finished a bunch of paperwork and pushed a crap-ton of looming problems farther back into the horizon. Now he wouldn't have to worry for another month or so. America thought this and was happy.
After hurriedly dressing, grooming (as in washing the palms but not the backs of his hands and the bottom half but not the top half of his face), and giving himself a short pep talk, America was ready to face the beautiful day.
"I'm the hero!" He declared, even though no one could hear. Then he pulled out his brand-new iPhone 4S and checked his e-mail.
"Crap, message from the boss," the American muttered as he thumbed through his inbox. Sighing irritatedly, he opened the urgent-marked e-mail and read:
Dude-important meeting today. 9:00 sharp! All of the Big 8 gonna b there. U gotta come.~B
"Grrrrrrrrr," America growled. He had been looking forward to a day of snacking on hamburgers and playing video games. Now he actually had to do something. Bugger.
Britain's really been rubbing off on me lately, America thought with an eye roll as he checked his watch. Perfect, 8:00. He could stop off for some breakfast before the meeting.
"McDonald's hash browns, here I come!" America zipped up his jacket and dashed out the door. You could never keep an American unhappy for long.
...
America, feeling proud of himself for arriving fifteen minutes early, was greeted by the punctual Britain, China, and Japan outside the meeting room.
"Hey, dudes, what's up?" America asked cheerfully.
Japan, always the literal one, shrugged. "None of us know. It seems this meeting is very confidential."
"How responsible, America, to show up early," Britain approved. Then, condescendingly, "the ketchup and syrup stains on your shirt really pull the 'classy' look off."
"Thanks, Britain!" America said, disregarding the second comment and being pleased by the first.
All three nations turned at the sound of a door opening, an exasperated sigh, and a cry of "VEEEH~!"
"Herro, Germany-san. Konichiwa, Itary-kun," Japan greeted his two good friends.
"Hey, Japan!" Italy responded energetically. "What's up with this meeting, huh?"
Japan huffed in exasperation. "I just finish expraining to America."
"Vhoa, Japan. You know vhat's going on?" Germany asked, surprised.
Japan quietly stomped his foot on the ground. "No. I exprain to America that no one know 'what's up.'"
"Oh." Italy looked mildly disappointed, then perked up and turned around at the sound of the door. His perkiness turned to a somewhat-mild form of extreme terror when he saw a tall, tall shape in the doorway slowly begin walking toward them.
"Dobre otra, Italy." Italy felt a large, cold hand pat him painfully on the head.
"You too, America." America winced.
"And Britain..." The large northern nation regarded the Brit with cold violet eyes and a sweet smile before turning to the long-haired Asian. "China..."
China nodded, backing away slightly and raising his arms. The instigator gave a small giggle and turned to the slightly-shorter-than-himself blue-eyed nation. "Herr Deutschland..." Even Germany shuddered a little, but quickly composed himself. "And konichiwa, Japan-san."
"Konichiwa to you too, Russia-san," Japan greeted him politely. Russia apparently didn't notice the underlying fear in the Asian's voice.
"Of course, that frog would be late..." Britain irritably checked his pocketwatch, trying slightly to ease the fear caused by Russia's arrival but also genuinely annoyed at France's lateness. It was nearly 9:00.
"Sorry if you missed moi~"
Britain rolled his green eyes at the sound of the French accent. "At least we're all here now."
Scarcely had he spoken the words that the doors to the meeting room opened and America's boss hollered at them what the hell took them so long and to get their asses inside.
...
"So, like... what exactly is this all about?" America asked.
"It's kind of simple, really," his boss replied reassuringly. "We'd just like you all to have a little more contact with the citizens of your countries."
"Eh?" Russia cocked his head to the side. "I am not understanding what you mean."
"What we've arranged is a chance for the eight of you-and maybe some of your less important friends later on-to enter an American-"
"WHOOOOO! AMERICA!"
All of the nations and their bosses turned incredulously to America, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Go on," the American said sweetly after a short and awkward silence.
"As I was saying..." his boss went on semi-calmly, "we would like you to enter as substitute teachers in an American high school for a day. We've chosen America because of its diversity. Well? What do you think?" He sat back, nervous and hopeful.
The effect, surprisingly, was quite positive.
"It seems like this would be good opportunity to teach and learn-aru," China said, nodding.
"Yes. I approve as well," Japan agreed.
"Sounds pretty awesome!" America pumped his fist into the air.
"How exciting this will be!" Russia sighed dreamily.
"What exactly will we be teaching ze leetle children?" France inquired.
"You'll learn vhen you get zhere," Germany's boss answered. "Any ozzer qvestions?"
Italy cautiously raised his hand.
"Yes, Italy?"
"WILL WE BE GETTING ANY PAST-"
"NO!"
"Good grief, can ve just go now?" Germany muttered, facepalming.
"There is one more thing." America's boss opened a folder and took out a sheet of paper. "As you may or may not know, you cannot use your true country names when doing this. You need to come across as a normal citizen, not the human embodiment of your country. Thus, we have prepared a list of normal, human names for you."
The reactions of the countries after their "normal" names were announced was not as positive.
"Dude! This is like the lamest name ever!" America whined. "It sounds stupid!"
"This name is far too common. Couldn't I have something a little more dignified?" Britain huffed.
"I agree! Is far too ordinary and widespread for my tastes!" China said angrily. "Would prefer some awesome name like... like Shi Huangdi!"
"Kind of reminds me of Tzars from good years past~" Russia mused dreamily.
"Veh... this is kinda long... and hard to pronounce." Italy wrinkled his nose.
"Eh... vhy does my surname say 'to be announced'?" Germany asked.
"Oh... we couldn't think of anything. Just choose your own."
"So unprofessional," the tall German spat.
"Mine sounds quite, eh... pompous?" France shook his head. "Non... eh, I guess it's okay..."
"That's the spirit!" America's boss laughed.
"I can find nothing outrighting wrong about this name," Japan said unsurely. "I not riking the name itserf is probrem."
"Well, you're using them," America's boss said in a finite manner amid the countries' groans. "Hey, c'mon. This'll be fun!"
"I guess," America pouted.
"Hey, these names aren't zat bad compared to some of the ozzers zhey've chosen for za lesser countries!" Germany pointed a large finger at the human name for Prussia. All the countries howled with laughter. Even the composed Japan let out a chuckle.
"Now, just step through this super-cool, high-tech, Japanese-made door and you'll be transported straight to the high school!" America's boss said excitedly. "Have fun! But try not to break anything!"
Epic thing about being a writer: expressing one's own emotions through characters! Although I actually do think that that's how the characters would react if they had been given "human names." Really, so stupid. They are the actual countries, not just citizens representing the countries. They are America, Latvia, Russia, etc. Not Alfred, Raivis, Ivan, etc. I know a lot of people will disagree with me for my opinion on that, but oh well. Please review!
