Two Snazzy Uncles Killing to the Beat

A Short Story

by Texan Tessa

Ben Dover looked at the dickly penis in his hands and felt sexually frustrated.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his shiney surroundings. He had always hated sweaty Rose's Forehead with its outrageous, obnoxious oceans. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sexually frustrated.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Barbra Luv. Barbra was a snooty sex god with slimy thighs and greasy eyelashes.

Ben gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a brutal, violent, afternoon tea drinker with curvaceous thighs and vast eyelashes. His friends saw him as a slow, squealing satan. Once, he had even helped a small old lady armpits cross the road.

But not even a brutal person who had once helped a small old lady armpits cross the road, was prepared for what Barbra had in store today.

The storm teased like rampaging blob fish, making Ben fuzzy.

As Ben stepped outside and Barbra came closer, he could see the graceful glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want passion in the relationship," Barbra bellowed, in a pessimistic tone. He slammed his fist against Ben's chest, with the force of 6052 elephants. "I frigging hate you, Ben Dover."

Ben looked back, even more fuzzy and still fingering the dickly penis. "Barbra, I love your bum," he replied.

They looked at each other with unstable feelings, like two frail, fantastic flamingos having sex at a very psychic funeral, which had indie music playing in the background and two snazzy uncles killing to the beat.

Suddenly, Barbra lunged forward and tried to punch Ben in the face. Quickly, Ben grabbed the dickly penis and brought it down on Barbra's skull.

Barbra's slimy thighs trembled and his greasy eyelashes wobbled. He looked shook, his body raw like a broad, breezy bum.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Barbra Luv was dead.

Ben Dover went back inside and made himself a nice drink of afternoon tea.

THE END