Beta Read by: SinikkavonWolperting, istoleyourcheesecake, and DragonRiderSayomi
Ok, so this is a lot different from my first Snape fic, but this is the style I usually swing more towards. That first one was more of a way to get a better feel for the character, so (hopefully) I can capture who he is more accurately. Now, keep in mind, I don't know all the lore to Harry Potter, and I am bound to get things wrong here and there. Just correct me and explain how it should be in a civil manner, and I'll try my best to correct it in the next story.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little whump fic. ;w; Even if I am severely late to the fandom.
A heavy hand dragged wearily down the length of his face as he stifled a yawn. Every inch of muscle in his body asked - pleaded - for some sort of reverie. Be it from the increase in meetings here lately, or due to the stress that was gradually building up, he didn't know. Severus swallowed thickly and took a deep breath as he dragged his feet and drew nearer to the apparition point. The man wanted nothing more than to hurry back, finish the day's work, and call it a night...maybe even a week, should that option be available. Though, unfortunately, he was painfully aware there wasn't a sliver of a chance for that.
Just a few more feet, only a few more seconds, and he would finally able to drop this facade that was becoming more and more straining, exhausting even, to keep up. He could feel it, with every meeting, his mind slipping, everything catching up. It was only a matter of time before someone caught on, and he hoped and prayed that would be sooner rather than later.
Severus paused, taking an unexpected moment to steady his steps and catch his breath; his right hand reached out to find some sort of bearing, anything to assist him in keeping his balance, at least for the time being. This was getting ridiculous; his teeth ground in frustration. Was he really this damn weak? Too pathetic to take a few measly steps without the risk of tripping over his own feet? His nails bit into the trunk of the tree, grating painfully against it as he shoved himself away from it. The force was nearly enough to cause another stumble, but he managed to hold his own, from pure stubbornness alone.
With a new, albeit forced and stiff, bounce in his step, the potions master was able to carry himself the rest of the way to the apparition point. He actually made it, slower than he would have cared for, but that wasn't the point. The point was, this was another taxing gathering done and over with. Another meeting he would no longer have to deal with, and another night closer to ending it all. It was almost enough to elicit a humorless chuckle from him...almost. Severus took another deep breath and steadied himself in preparation. He's done this hundreds of times in the past, countless times every week, yet, the moment before the action of it, he could feel his heart sink into the pit of his stomach when he waved the edge of his cloak upward.
Something slipped, perhaps his hand, his foot, maybe he lost his balance. He couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly it was, then again, he couldn't get his mind to focus long enough to dwell on it as everything delved into a world of disorientation and confusion. Directions were muddled and his mind was tossed into a heap of bewilderment. A few seconds that could have easily been mistaken for a few minutes. All he knew, was the moment it was over, he was nearly overwhelmed with nausea as the air was more or less expelled from his lungs from the force of the landing.
A choked and pained gasp escaped his throat as the man tried to regain his bearings, but each inhale was almost instantly pushed back out as catching his breath was proving to be more of a challenge than it should have been. Maybe it was a harder landing than he had initially thought it to be. He lied there and waited, waited for the colors to stop blooming and for the stars to cease their headache-inducing flashing. He had no idea how long it took, but sooner or later, it settled down just enough for him to begin to make out his surroundings. All it took was a glance, the smallest of them, to realize something wasn't right.
This wasn't where he was supposed to be. Yes, he was still within the vicinity of Hogwarts, but still not where he had meant to go. A swift swear fluttered underneath a trembling breath and Severus began working to sit up. But, the slightest of movements, the second his left leg so much as twitched, he grimaced in discomfort.
The burning sensation, the incessant throbs and sting that radiated from that appendage cried for his attention, yet he wasn't sure he cared to investigate, especially given his current location. As his vision cleared a few degrees more, Severus glanced around, trying to figure out exactly where in the Forbidden Forest he was. It appeared to be relatively familiar, enough to be able to find his way back, that is. The consideration of apparating again crossed his mind, but that thought was immediately shaken away when his leg protested harshly with another movement. That was out of the question then.
After a few more seconds, the man shoved all misgivings down; he couldn't stay here, it was late and he knew all too well the life that roamed the forest. Not that he was particularly worried about potential threats, they were nothing he couldn't handle any other day. However, a quick glance down at his leg told him it wasn't in his best interest to wait for something else to find him.
Instinctively, he reached down and grasped at the wound, wincing at the pain the touch drew out, not to mention the feeling of fresh and warm blood flowing between his clasped fingers. His teeth dug into his bottom lip to hold back a whimper. Honestly, what was wrong with him? Splinching yourself was an amateur mistake, something he'd expect from an incompetent student, not from someone such as himself. Fingers glanced gingerly over the wound as he tried to assess it. Luckily, it didn't seem to be too bad, but it was bleeding quite freely. Even if it wasn't a lot...it had a strong scent.
Letting out another choice word at what that could entail, he swiftly ripped a strip of material from his robes, his hands shaking the whole time. Hands now slick with the crimson substance and trembling from the pain of it, the hastily tied knot did little to stunt the flow. But it would have to do as long as it held up long enough for him to get the hell out of here.
Gritting his teeth, only allowing a few hisses and gasps to leak out, the man painstakingly made his way to his feet. Thank Merlin for all the trees nearby or he wasn't sure he would have pulled off a feat such as standing. The trunk to his right seemed to be supporting the majority of his weight, and the mere thought of taking a step caused his chest to tighten with anticipation.
Just standing there was sending waves of shuddering down his legs...maybe all the late nights really were taking their toll. Not that he'd admit that to anyone. Doing what he could to quell the uneasiness swirling within his core, Severus willed himself to take that first step, never once daring to allow his hand to slip from its purchase. The second any minor amount of weight was placed onto his bad leg, he stumbled forward, and if not for the density of this place, would have surely ended up right back on the ground. A panted breath ghosted over his lips and he dragged his feet close enough to be almost hugging his current source of support.
"Pull yourself together," the potions master ground out, despising how thin his voice sounded to his own ears.
He risked another look down to see more of the vital liquid dripping to the forest floor. So much for the makeshift wrapping, at this rate it may as well not even be there. He was still leaving a blatantly obvious trail. That wasn't the only thing starting to worry him though, there was also the amount that was causing a certain measure of concern for the man. Looking at it now, it was quite a bit more than he had first assumed it to be. And, if the fluttering of his chest and the fuzziness in his head was anything to go by…
An involuntary groan sounded out as his eyes took it upon themselves to slide shut...for just a few seconds, but it was long enough for him not to want to open them back up. It it weren't for the potential danger, he wasn't sure he'd be able to resist the temptation to take a short break. What he wouldn't give for such a luxury.
'Just one step at a time...take it slowly,' he told himself over and over, hoping the small mantra would convince his body that this was nothing it couldn't handle. He's had worse than this, certainly. He made it a few more feet without further incident, then a few more. Eventually, he was falling into a sort of pattern. It was an awkward and painful one, but it worked, and that's all that mattered. His left leg was practically dead weight as he moved, dragged behind him as the trees picked up its slack. It wasn't the most graceful, but there was no-one around to see, so it mattered not. So long as he made it back without drawing attention and got himself back to a presentable state.
His breath hitched as his leg caught on a rather intrusive root, the pull of it enough to cause him to lose what little balance he had and drop to his knees. His face contorted in torment, teeth bearing down on one another to hold back the cry that tried desperately to rip out. Everything spun around him, the base of his throat burned with bile that threatened to expel. Without his permission, his head bowed enough until his forehead was pressed against the dirt and the scent of earth filled his nostrils.
He couldn't do it...he was still too far away and he could barely take a step without the pain and exhaustion dragging him down. The thought of having no choice but to spend the night here caused what could only be described as fear to bubble up inside him. Though, he'd rather not call it that, it's clearly exactly what it was. He choked down the acidic lump and pulled himself closer to the nearest tree when he carefully propped himself up against. Once he allowed himself a moment to allow the dizziness to pass, he cracked his eyes open and dragged his leg closer, wincing and hissing as he did so.
Even through the haze and in the darkness, it was easy to assess how bad it actually was. His pants leg was soaked, and from here he could smell the crisp and distinct odor of metal. His nose instinctively wrinkled as it assaulted him.
"Dammit," he muttered as he peeled a part of the black material away to bear witness to the gaping flesh wound on the other side. It really was worse than what he was attempting to convince himself it was.
He dropped the cloth back in place and let his hand drop to his side. He knew, agonizingly so, that it needed treatment, some sort of attention, but he couldn't bring himself to do more than he already had. It was for no other reason than the fact that he just plain didn't have the energy to muster. Severus leaned his head back and tried his best to at least relish in the monetary peace he had. There was no point in wasting whatever strength was left in him; unfortunately that would need to be saved should unwanted visitors track him down. Which, he had no doubt, would be the case.
The man wanted to curse himself the moment that thought crossed his mind; he swore, the mere thought of such things beckoned them to come forth. Severus stilled at the sound of subtle, slow steps. There was another pair, or set, as well. The second was quicker, less careful, hurried almost. It was an animal; what kind exactly, he didn't want to know. But, it appeared as though he wouldn't have much say in the matter as it grew closer, louder as it sniffed him out. Every fiber of him tensed when the sound of it picking up on his smell reached his ears. It was just a few feet away and his right hand reached voluntarily for his wand. The familiar grain of it under his fingertips put his soul slightly at ease. Not quite enough though, he wasn't sure how much harm he would be able to cause in his current state.
His hand gripped the wood as he carefully began to draw it, ready to cast at a moment's notice. His back straightened as much as he dared, and the moment he could practically feel its breath upon him, he snatched it the rest of the way out, the tip of it glowed threateningly as it illuminated his onlooker's features.
"Whoa, easy there, settle down will ya?"
The sound of the voice took Severus a moment to register and realize that it indeed was not coming from the face of the creature he was currently staring at. He blinked heavily a few times and lifted his gaze to stare up at the much larger man towering over him.
"Alright Fang, that's enough, give the man some space now," Hagrid called over, an edge of concern lacing his words. His eyes flicked from the man's features before him to his leg. His mouth tightened into a straight line as he gazed upon him. Dark as it was, it didn't take a lot to see the pallidness of his features and the tiredness etched around his eyes.
The raven said nothing as he turned his attention back away and hesitantly replaced his wand. Just what he needed...the likes of him stumbling upon him. Of all the people… Instantly growing annoyed at the way the groundskeeper was looking down on him, Severus dug his nails into the dirt and began to push himself up. He didn't make it far before he was falling back against the tree. Luckily, Hagrid was was quicker than he appeared, and all it took was a quick grab of the dark-haired man's wrist to keep him from crumbling back down into an unceremonious heap.
Though, that didn't stop him from snatching his hand away. There was a bit of a stutter in his step, but the potions master was able to reach out for the trunk and somewhat stand on his own.
"I can stand on my own, thank you," he snapped, most of the bite void from the words. With his free hand, he brushed his robes off, trying to compose himself to the best of his abilities. Not that it made much, or any, of a difference. "Now, if you will excuse me," he muttered, talking just low enough to hide the tremble in his words. He went to brush by the larger man, wanting nothing more than to get out of his sight and hide away for a while, but that clearly wasn't going to happen. This time, he didn't even get his foot down before he was careening to the side again.
He let out a short string of swears when two hands were upon him this time, and despite the urge to wriggle out of the brute's grasp, he knew it was the only reason he wasn't on his face right now.
"You sure 'bout that?" he asked, his hold tightening in an indication he wasn't about to let the other try that again. It was obvious enough he needed help. "What are ya doin' way out here, anyway?" he asked, positioning himself in a way to better scoop the smaller man up. He gave no warning about his intention; this of course, elicited a few choice words from the other. But, the fact that none of those threats or promises were backed up were more than a reason for worry. Once the raven was in his arms, the uneven breaths and glassiness of his gaze was even clearer to see.
"Sorry, but I don't think walkin' around is such a good idea for ya in yer condition," Rubeus mumbled softly, mostly to himself.
"I could...be asking you the same?" Severus shot back, a look of accusation searing into the brunet.
Rubeus let out a short and hearty chuckle, one that reverberated through the smaller man and caused a low groan to slip out. "Fang here was causin' a racket, guess he caught wind of your scent," he figured with a pleased glance down at his companion.
Severus merely hummed at the explanation, sounding neither upset nor alright with it. Simply a noise of acknowledgement. "Mangy mutt should mind his own business," he ground out between clenched teeth. His eyes were tightly closed by now, one of his hands gripped and ungripped around his robes. At this, the groundskeeper looked back at the wound, seeing it more closely now. It wasn't pretty, that much was for sure, and unconsciously, his step quickened by the smallest amount. He could already feel the warmth of blood soaking through to his arm.
It wasn't too much farther to his hut, but he wondered if he should just take the man straight to the hospital wing, he was definitely in need of it. But, at the same time, with the amount of blood he was losing...he wasn't sure if the extra time it took was a good idea. Shaking his head, he settled on the best option and made a beeline for his home. Right, patch him up as best he could, enough to stop the flow, then it was off to the castle.
Every now and then, Hagrid offered a small apology with every step that caused a bit of jostling, but at this point he wasn't sure how many of those were getting through to the other. At least he knew he was still awake, and he guessed that was good enough. Though, he would have preferred if the man would tell him something, but it was quite clear he was disinterested in any sort of conversation. Not that he could be blamed, it was likely taking all of his concentration on not passing out.
"We're almost there," the brute promised with another glance at Severus' features, and to his relief, those dark eyes were open once more. Unfocused and glazed, but open nonetheless.
Again, Severus only gave a small sign that he had heard the man, but nothing more than that. Then, out of nowhere, and surprisingly coherent, he gave a muttered request. "Just take me to my quarters...I can handle things from there." The larger man couldn't quite come to terms with what it was, but there was something in his voice that struck him as odd. It sounded to him like Severus was used to this sort of thing, like it wasn't the first time.
Hagrid wanted to smack the guy for suggesting such a thing. Honestly, here he was bleeding out on him, and he really wished to go back to his chambers alone when he couldn't even walk on his own. He quickly shook his head, his beard swishing from side to side as it brushed over the raven's chest. "Sorry, don't think I'll be doin' that."
There was a low growl of frustration at the decline, but it was swiftly followed by a pained hiss when his body was jerked once again. "Could you at least try to walk with a bit more grace?" he snapped instead, again all harshness lost in the whispered tone. His hand was now clasped enough for his knuckles to turn white and every inhale was shuddered in. By now, a thin sheen of sweat was visible coating his ashen expression.
"Apologies, but it won't be too much more now," Rubeus assured with a soft smile, one that was completely missed. All the while, Fang trailed close behind, the occasional whimper coming out. "It's alright, boy," he assured with a quick glance back.
Well, it wasn't a lie at least; they were finally reaching the edge of the forest, and after that, it would only take a couple minutes to make it back to his hut. Unwittingly, Hagrid's hold became more secure and he again picked up his pace, wanting to get back as soon as possible. Blood was still spreading through his sleeve and it didn't take a genius to see that the raven-haired man was already beginning to develop a bit of a fever. That was the part that worried him the most...it seemed to him to be coming on rather quick. Unless...unless it was there earlier and was just now getting worse.
By the time the brute approached his door, he could feel the trembles wracking through his arms, the form in his hold trembling from both cold and pain. Without hesitation, he kicked his door open, the 'bang' that rang out as it smacked against the wall was enough to cause the smaller man in his arms to jolt. But, before he could complain or toss out another insult or criticism, Hagrid was depositing him onto his bed, blood be damned. Everything could be cleaned later.
Much to the raven's dismay, the setting down was none to gentle and he felt a fiery current travel up the length of his leg. "Clumsy oaf," he bit out, both hands reaching for the appendage.
Rubeus paid no heed to the choice of words and instead busied himself with gathering a few things: cloth, pot of water and some bandages. It wasn't much, but it was the best he had stocked away, he normally didn't have much need for much else. Quickly, he put the water over the fire, wanting to warm it at least a little. While that was going, he turned back to the potions master and wasted no time in taking a small blade and cutting some of the material away from the gash. The more of the wound that was revealed, the more his heart dropped at the sight.
"It's a nasty one…" he voiced without thinking. Yeah, cleaning it was going to hurt like hell, and he was sure they were both aware of that. "So…" he muttered as he turned to grab the water, "you never did answer my question. About how this happened?" There wasn't an ounce of skepticism in his tone, and it was quite obvious this was more of a ploy for distraction than genuine curiosity.
Still, Snape slowly shook his head and looked away. Though, it wouldn't hurt to entertain the man, he supposed. "What can I say...walks can go awry, people fall."
To his surprise, Rubeus actually had the audacity to laugh, though it wasn't a humorous one. "Really? I'll have you know, I've seen my fair share of splinches, and I know one when I see one," he clarified, letting it be known that he wasn't as easily fooled as he appeared. "Though, such things are more common with the younglings… Kind of makes me wonder how som-"
"Maybe you should leave the wonderings to others then," the pale man interrupted, making to get up with his sudden burst of energy. "I appreciate the help, but if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be going now." Despite the words, the manner of which came across as more of an intimidation tactic.
This may have worked on the students, and perhaps some of the staff, but Hagrid was a different story and both his large hands were on either of the other's shoulders. Even he was surprised by how easy it was to push the other back into a lying position.
"Calm down, I wasn't meanin' anythin' by it...just odd, it is," he muttered, eyes softening the slightest amount. "And don't be worryin', you'll be back at the castle soon as I get this cleaned up. Can't have ya bleedin' the whole way up there." Ok, so any questions of that matter were off the table should the guy get defensive again and end up hurting himself further. Him and that damn pride of his…
With a weary sigh, Severus settled back down, the explosive outburst enough to drain what little energy he had stored up. "Very well," he breathed out as a shiver ran through him. Without a word, he flinched as a hand was pressed against his forehead, but honestly, he was too worn out to react to the touch. As much as he hated it, it was easier just to roll with things. A click of the man's tongue could be heard over the light ringing in his ears.
"Runnin' a bit of a fever," he announced.
All he got in return was a disinterested grunt. Letting out a heavy breath of his own, Rubeus reached for the cloth and dipped it in the water. Wringing it out, he first dabbed lightly at the wound, not wanting to be too rough right off the bat. At just the slightest touch, the other man jerked and gasped. But, he did the best he could to stay as still as possible.
"Sorry," he spouted without thinking as he continued to wash most of the blood away. Now that most of that was cleared up, the full extent of the wound was haunting to look at. It wasn't particularly deep, but it was gaping as it took quite a bit of space on the side of his calf. "Alright, this is going to hurt," he warned, not giving the other much time to process what was said before he poured a good amount of water straight onto the injury, rinsing it out.
This time, to the brute's surprise, the normally stoic and brooding man choked back a pained sob. Considering, he was still doing an impressive job of holding up that demeanor of his, but it was gradually crumbling before his very eyes. For the first time, he was actually seeing him just as any other, just a man, completely human. He gazed at his features, taking them in fully, the pallidness, the dark circles and the hollowness of his cheeks...which seemed to be more accentuated than he remembered. His brows knit and eyes narrowed. Then, as Severus glanced to him, he snapped his attention away.
"Almost done," Hagrid mumbled, going over the wound one more time with the cloth until he was satisfied it was as clean as it was going to be. He dropped the rag back in the pot of water, which was now a bright crimson. Again, a light whimpering could be heard, but this time it came from the dog at his side, whose eyes barely strayed from the ailing man.
He offered him a quick pat on the head and got back to work. All that was left was to wrap it up and hope it would suffice well enough.
"How ya holdin' up?" Hagrid asked, needing the man to stay awake; he hadn't heard much of anything from him aside from the occasional groan or hiss, and that wasn't enough to put his mind at ease.
Lazily, that deep gaze drifted over to him, pain and cloudiness mixed into it. "As well as can be expected," he replied, voice slightly hoarse. He cleared it before continuing, "I appreciate this...but I really need to be getting back." All force behind that statement was almost nonexistent. He was like a completely different person than he was a few minutes ago. Quickly, Rubeus checked him again, finding the heat radiating off to be about the same if not a little bit higher.
"Yeah, I just want to make sure everything is taken care of before headin' back," he explained. "That is, if you'll be allowin' that." He wasn't sure what kind of response he was expecting, but he knew it wasn't the nod he got in return. Nodding back, despite the other not looking at him anymore, the larger man quickly began to inspect the rest of his body. Fortunately there were no other injuries as far as he could see, but there was something also that nagged at his mind. His hands felt over the raven's arms, slowly making their way to his shoulder. He was no doctor, but he was fairly certain it shouldn't have been that easy to feel someone's bones. Now that he thought about it, he knew there was something about the professor's features that unsettled him.
Snape opened one eye just enough to glare at him. "If you're quite done…"
"Yeah, I'm done," the bearded man replied, scrutiny never wavering. "But, I have to ask, have ya been lookin' after yerself?"
The question caught the other off guard, and he found himself at a loss for words. Swallowing against the dryness in his throat he simply settled with "I know how to care for myself, thank you." Offended as usual. His face immediately formed into another grimace as he leaned back. It didn't seem possible but somehow his face whitened even more and a few beads of sweat now trailed down the sides.
The groundskeeper knew what was coming, and his instincts kicked in as he reached for the nearest bucket. Not a moment before it was placed at the bed's side did the man reach for it and lean over it. Hagrid cringed at the sounds that ensued, making sure to look away for both of their sakes. Lucky for either of them, the retching didn't last too long, but it did leave Severus out of breath appearing more sickly than he did before.
"Shit," Snape whimpered uncharacteristically. If the larger man didn't know better, he'd say the other appeared near humiliated after that spectacle. Not that he blamed him. Eyes squeezed shut, the potions master lied back against the pillow, this time looking to be content to stay right where he was, as if the slightest movement would cause another mishap.
Without a word, the larger man gathered up the pot of water as well as the soiled bucket and headed out with both, leaving the raven to himself for a few minutes. All the while, Severus simply lied there, no longer feeling the motivation to so much as twitch. But, regardless of his mind's wishes, his body ignored it all as shivers were slowly claiming him. It was absolutely freezing. Honestly, how did that man stay here in such conditions? And, just to make matters worse, that nosy mongrel kept up its high-pitched whining.
Through closed lids, the flickers of the fire on the other side of the room could be seen. It may as well have not been lit with all the warmth it was providing. Trying to block out the chill, it was all ruined as the door creaked back open and a less than desired draft flowed in, pulling a rather violent tremor from his form.
Not a second later, something cool - much to his distaste - was swiping over his face. Without thinking, he pulled away, gaze snapping open. "What are you doing?" he demanded, heart hammering against his ribs. He wasn't about to admit that it may have startled him a little bit.
"Calm down now, yer allowed to just take it easy, ya know?" he offered, never pausing as he, as gently as he could, wiped the sweat and other mess from the man's face. Defeated, the dark-haired man relaxed, having little to no fight left in him. He was too exhausted for that, beyond tired to even care anymore.
Severus let out what came across as a relieved sigh as he accepted his fate. "Why are you doing this?" he asked after a time, voice weary beyond his years. His bleary gaze stared right through the other, never wavering despite the shaking that plagued the rest of him. And, for a moment, there was a bit of clarity within it. It was a valid question, as far as he was aware; it was common knowledge that he wasn't exactly anyone's favorite, and it was something he knew all too well and had come to terms with.
"What kind of question is that?" Rubeus shot back without delay. "What, you were expectin' me to leave you in that forest to die?" When he didn't get an immediate response, he got his answer loud and clear. "We may not be on the best of terms, but that doesn't mean neither I nor you be deservin' of that sort o' fate."
He said it all so matter-of-factly. It sounded on the verge of ridiculousness; false even. But, Snape took it for what it was. This man was known for his foolish compassion, there was no reason to doubt he honestly believed what he was saying, no matter if it were true or not.
"Now, we should probably start headin' back so that Madame Pomfry can have a real look at ya," Rubeus suggested, honestly growing more concerned with the appearance of his coworker. The sweat was now rolling, and it was becoming more and more obvious the man was already unwell before he'd come across him.
There was no reaction from the other, it was difficult to discern if it was heard or not, or if the man had simply fallen asleep. But the hitch in his breathing was indication enough that he was still there with him. "Sure…" he sighed, unwilling to utter more than that. Still, he made no move to get up, no move to prepare to be picked up...nothing. If anything he turned his head away, seemingly making himself more comfortable. And, for the third time, the brute pressed his hand against his face. He lowly hummed to himself; if he didn't have a fever before, he certainly did now.
Maybe it was better to send for someone instead; moving him right now, and considering it wasn't exactly a short walk, he wasn't sure how much of a wise idea it was. "How are ya feelin'?"
Severus shrugged a single shoulder as he tried to turn away, only to fail miserably. The slightest movement had him softly groaning. "Would be better...if it wasn't so cold in here," he whispered, unable to elevate his voice any further.
At that, the groundskeeper glanced from the professor to the fire roaring just a few feet away. "Aye, I can do something about that," he promised, leaving for just a moment as he snatched a rather thick cover and draped it over the man. "Here, this should help."
Severus mumbled something that couldn't be anything else other than a word of thanks. And, Hagrid couldn't help but wonder how out of it he had to be to be presenting such manners. It was almost unsettling. With nothing else to do, Rubeus grabbed the nearest chair and pulled it close to take a seat. More than once his eyes cut over to where the man's bad leg was, hiding under the thick material. Then, cautiously, he lifted it up just enough to get a quick peak. There appeared to be only a bit of red coming through, not yet enough to panic over.
Then, as he dropped it back in place, something caught his ear, incoherent mutterings from the suffering raven.
"What was that?" he asked, leaning closer.
Once more, words could be heard, but not what they were meaning.
Taking the more relaxed expression the potions master wore, he could only assume he was simply talking in his sleep, delirium taking over in his fevered state. Sighing to himself, Rubeus grabbed for the cloth and picked up where he left off.
After a few more minutes of repeating this, the bed creaked as Fang jumped up.
"Get down boy, sorry, but that's no place fer you to be right now," he lightly chastised. But, his companion paid him no mind as he stepped a couple more feet until he was right next to Snape. Here, he curled himself up and rested his head on the man's chest. Two pleading eyes stared back at the brute, clearly wanting to stay where he was.
"Alright, have it yer way, but don't whine when he wakes up and won't be havin' it," he warned, dipping the cloth back in the pot where it stayed this time. Not much time had passed before he could make out more mutterings, this time he was sure heard a few words and names, one of which stuck out to him immediately.
"Lily."
It was low, and almost inaudible, but it was clear enough and his jaw instantly tightened. Is that was he was dreaming about. But, then there was something else, something that only added more fuel to his momentary sympathy.
"...so sorry."
Hagrid let out a heavy sigh and took one of his hands to run triedly through his thick curls. "Shouldn't be hearin' this," he breathed out as he leaned back. He debated whether he should wake the man up or not, he had a strong feeling he knew exactly what the dream was about, and in no way was it something anyone wanted to relive. But, the guy needed the rest; from the looks of it, he hadn't been getting enough of it.
As Rubeus watched him, hands folded in his lap, he chewed on his bottom lip as he noticed the small but visible glistening in the corner of the man's eye. His face was drawn in a pained scowl, and he was no longer certain it was from physical pain anymore.
Severus drew in another shaky and uneven breath before falling silent once more. He shifted slightly, causing something to fall out of one of his pockets and clatter to the floor. Hagrid instantly recognized the contents of the vial as a 'Dreamless Sleep' potion, and understanding followed right after. Just how often did he take those? Enough to keep them on him, that much was a given.
He looked to the potion for a moment, then back up to the professor who had picked up his slumbering mutterings again and he started to understand. Though, if he were honest, he really wished he hadn't. "Oh, Severus," he shook his head, "what have ya been doin' to yerself." His next action betrayed his silent chastising as he leaned down to scoop up the small container. All it took was one last glance at the raven's distraught features to fully make up his mind.
With a heavy heart, and deep breath, he scooted a little closer and gave the other a light shake, enough so to ruffle him out of his light and uneasy rest.
It didn't take much to rouse the younger man, but he doubted it was much of a deep sleep, and from the looks of it the man was thankful for escape out of his own muddled mind. Slightly out of breath, Severus looked to him, eyes swirling with bewilderment with only an edge of recognition.
"Here, I think you oughtta take this," Hagrid suggested, uncorking the potion and handing it over. Even in his current state, the brewer of said potion was easily able to make out what it was. It was the lack of hesitation it took to down it that had Rubeus shuffling in his seat. Once empty, the vial was shoved back in his pocket.
"How often do you drink those?" he asked, unable to stop himself as the question rolled off his tongue.
Snape offered a small glance. "As often as I see fit," he replied, an air of offence about him.
The larger man nodded along, unsure if he should press further or not. Of course Snape knew the danger in taking that too often, he should know better than anyone. It was best to just let it go. An awkward silence filled the room, one of which was hastily chased away by the brute clearing his throat and getting to his feet.
"I should probably check that leg of yers again. Then, I'll send for someone. I would go myself, but…" he shrugged, not needing to finish that.
As he pushed himself up, it seemed that was the moment Severus noticed the other occupant of the bed. Fang still lied there, hardly moving, but very obviously awake as his eyes drifted over to stare right at him. Huffing in annoyance, he ignored it, wasn't like it was hurting anything by being there.
Shortly, Hagrid was back over, looming over the brooding man. This time, he made quick work of lifting the covers, only to find that those few crimson spots had spread considerably over the last hour or so.
"I'll make this as quick as I can," he promised. And, surprisingly he did. It was certainly quicker. Whether it was less painful or not was a completely different story. It was as if he sacrificed the gentleness for speed, and this time the injured was too drained to stifle his sounds of distress. "Sorry, but I hafta."
He knew that, didn't mean he had to like it.
"You should probably get back to sleep, in the meantime, well, you know already," Hagrid waved a hand as he moved to step out. Before he made it to the door, out of the corner of his eye, he ceased mid step as the other quickly sat up, nearly shoving Fang off as he did so. "Somethin' the matter?"
He didn't have time to stop the man before he was throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "I really do appreciate your unbiased assistance, but I have stayed long enough,"The professor panted, and it was obvious to the other that he still wasn't in any condition to be getting up. He seriously wondered what went through his head sometimes. Severus stumbled up to his feet, staggering before he was upright. And, like earlier, if it weren't for Hagrid's quick reactions…
"What's the hurry? I said I was about to call fer someone, now, go ahea-"
"I already told you, or do you not listen, I can handle myself. I am in no need of being cared for." With every word, his voice wavered more, growing more strained and hoarse, forced. Convincing himself.
Snape shoved by this time, offering the older man a sideways glare, one brimming with agitation. Taking the hint, though much to his dismay it was, the larger man stepped aside, allowing the professor room to squeeze by. Every step the brooding man took was like another punch to Rubeus' gut, it was damn near cruel to have to watch, but what else could he do. He tried his best, didn't he? It was obvious he didn't want the help. Be it pride or some other nonsense, he supposed he had to bite back his need to lend a hand and respect the guy.
He glanced to his side where Fang now sat, staring off after the injured man, whimpering quietly to himself.
"Go on, I suppose," the groundskeeper sighed with a wave of his hand. "Yer gonna whine until I let ya go anyway, so go on, make sure he gets there in one piece." Wasn't his ideal way of keeping an eye on the guy, but it was better than nothing, he guessed.
Mumbling to himself, Severus cut his eyes behind him a few times at the sound of small, quick footfalls chasing after him. There was no stopping the breath of frustration that escaped over his dry lips. Seriously, he couldn't even be trusted to go for a short walk. Still, he ignored the mutt for the most part, keeping his eyes forward. Though, he realized, this was due more to the fact that he feared if his concentration faltered for even a sliver of a second, he wouldn't be on his feet anymore. Hell, he was barely on them as it were. He could barely stand to put any sort of weight on the left, it was basically dead weight by now. Not to mention he was sure he could feel it bleeding once again. Great.
For a few minutes, thankfully, he was able to keep his pace steady; painful and slow, but steady to a degree. There were a few mishaps, a few stumbles and scares, but fortunately none that ended with him on the ground and unable to get back up. It was bad enough he had to be found in the middle of the forest as he was, but to be found this close to the school in a heap-
He shuddered at the mere thought of such a humiliation.
He kept his eyes on the front of the school the whole time. He felt like he had been walking for ages, but it still appeared so far out of reach, like it was moving. That wasn't possible, was it? He couldn't remember it ever doing something like that, anyway. He couldn't remember it being so blurry either…
Severus blinked a few times, trying to chase the fuzziness away, but if anything it encouraged the black tendrils to spread farther across his vision. Before he could process what was happening, everything was tilting dangerously, and he was barely aware of the collision with the cold, hard ground. Even still, all thoughts were muddled, nothing was making sense. The one thing he could focus on was the fact that maybe, just maybe he could think about things and figure out what was going on if it weren't for that incessant and deafening barking.
Fortunately, the sound started to fade. Whether it was because the source was moving away from him, or the fact that he was losing consciousness, he didn't care. He was too exhausted to care. He felt awful, everything was on fire, and for the life of him, he couldn't even keep his eyes open anymore. He wanted, desperately so, to succumb to his body's demands, to just let everything go and sleep. It appeared as though that choice was already made up, as the last thing he remembered was the last echoing barks and some incoherent shouts.
A groan grated against his throat, which ached with a dryness he hadn't experienced in decades. Instinctively, a hand raised to press against his throbbing head. However, that proved to be a bit of a challenge; the limb was heavy and unwilling to cooperate with his command. Everything was on fire, but worst of all was his damn leg.
Slowly, tediously, he managed to get a single eye cracked open, but he hardly got the chance to investigate when a face popped into view. If it weren't for his sluggishness, he may have actually jolted at the sudden presence of it.
"Good to see you back with us," Minerva spoke softly, her words veiled only by her relief. "How are you feeling?" she asked, giving him no chance to catch up with what's happened or what's going on now.
Carefully, he managed to force both eyes open and really take a look around for the first time. And though he couldn't make out much through the haze, it was clear enough that he was in the hospital wing. His brows instantly knit together in confusion and his mouth opened in question, but nothing made it out.
"Hagrid brought you here," the witch spoke up, answering the unasked inquiry. "Severus, you really ought to take better care of yourself. Honestly, have you taken a look at yourself lately? It's no wonder you splinched yours-"
"My well-being is no one's concern...but my own," he ground out, making to sit up. However, there was another pair of hands at the ready, easily holding him in place. He instantly cast his attention to their owner to stare into the sympathetic, yet fierce, gaze of Poppy.
She held her stance until she felt the form under her hands finally relax. "She's right," she breathed out, letting some of the tension drain from her, "Severus, you aren't well, and I'm not just talking about that leg injury." He wasn't sure what it was, but there was something in her tone that beckoned him to actually listen to her. What was it, genuine care, perhaps? "I know you're stubborn, but you have to remember, you're human. If you think none of us have noticed; the tired look in your eyes, the loss of color, loss in weight, the decline in health overall." With each thing she listed, the potions master sank further down, almost like a child being scolded by an aunt.
"All I'm saying is, whatever you're doing, you can't keep it up."
Severus merely took a deep breath and half-closed his eyes. Did they have to nag at him the moment he woke up? Hadn't they any sort of common decency? They must have realized his unwillingness to have any of it right now. Which, to be fair, for him that was all the time. But now was the only time they were kind enough to allow him his peace. Though, he had wished it to be under other circumstances.
"Just try and get some needed rest, alright?" Poppy muttered instead. Not a moment later, the man let out a small exhale as something cool and damp was pressed against his forehead. "As soon as you wake up, and when I give the ok, the headmaster wants to have a word with you."
Of course he did.
He wasn't looking forward to that; he already knew exactly what it was about, and having to relive last night… He let out another groan, this one not from the nagging external discomfort. Well, at least for a little while, he'd be able to take it easy. Even if it wasn't ideal. He almost wanted to fight sleep just to drag this out longer, but that wasn't an option.
It was impossible to argue the fact that Poppy was right, his body was overworked, even he was painfully aware of it. Didn't mean he had to acknowledge it though. But, lying there now, it was easy to feel each and every complaint it had, and it was in no way pleased with the way he had been treating it. He couldn't dwell on it too much right now, still couldn't think completely straight. But, one thing he was sure of, no matter the need or want, there wasn't bound to be any changes to his routine anytime soon.
Thank you so much for reading, and please let me know what you thought. I do have more stories in mind, and am currently working on a sickfic. So, hope you stick around for those. :D
