I fully blame my beta for this. And yes, the spelling of the word 'sex' as 'smex' was intentional.
.x. Everything Is Better In Heaven .x.
They say that everything is better in Heaven, and that includes hot gay man smex. Yes, that sounds strange, seeing as Christianity is hard-set against homosexuality, but hey—turns out God's pretty righteous (ignore the blatant pun). It is this for this precise reason that Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were having so much fun in their eternal sleeps.
"Oh yeah, Moony," he gasped.
One thing about Heaven that would surprise people on earth is that God walks around doing room service for it's occupants. So, when he knocked on the door to Sirius' room that night, the pair of hot gay lovers should not have been surprised. But they were.
"Sirius, what do we do? We can't let him see us!"
Sirius looked at him resolutely.
"Get dressed. Hide the condom."
"Room service!"
They looked at each other in horror. "Quick—robes!"
"Can I come in?" He called.
The pair continued to rush about like tornadoes, ripping the room apart to cover up their hot gay man smex.
"I'm coming in," He called.
The door opened and the pair froze. God's eyebrow raised and he beckoned them forth. "We need to have a talk," He said.
He sat the two of them on the bed and considered sitting on it with them, then thought better of it and continued to stand.
"Now, there comes a point in every homosexual man's life when he can no longer resist the urge to have hot gay man smex. But, there are a number of reasons why they tell you that you shouldn't, even though I suppose that those are all shot to hell now that you're up here, if you'll pardon my pun."
They nodded, looking awkwardly at him.
"So, what I really wanted to say was….resist the urge to have hot gay man smex when I'm trying to clean your room."
With that, He nodded at them, turned on His heel, and walked away, leaving two very bewildered hot gay men behind him.
Moments later, they attacked each other like dogs in heat.
